ferragus-第29章

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respectfully　asks　for　the　incineration　of　his　wife。〃

When　the　official　charged　with　making　the　report　to　the　Councillor　of
State　and　prefect　of　police　read　that　marginal　note；　explaining　the
object　of　the　petition；　and　couched；　as　requested；　in　the　plainest
terms；　he　said：

〃This　is　a　serious　matter！　my　report　cannot　be　ready　under　eight
days。〃

Jules；　to　whom　Jacquet　was　obliged　to　speak　of　this　delay；
comprehended　the　words　that　Ferragus　had　said　in　his　hearing；　〃I'll
burn　Paris！〃　Nothing　seemed　to　him　now　more　natural　than　to　annihilate
that　receptacle　of　monstrous　things。

〃But；〃　he　said　to　Jacquet；　〃you　must　go　to　the　minister　of　the
Interior；　and　get　your　minister　to　speak　to　him。〃

Jacquet　went　to　the　minister　of　the　Interior；　and　asked　an　audience；
it　was　granted；　but　the　time　appointed　was　two　weeks　later。　Jacquet
was　a　persistent　man。　He　travelled　from　bureau　to　bureau；　and　finally
reached　the　private　secretary　of　the　minister　of　the　Interior；　to　whom
he　had　made　the　private　secretary　of　his　own　minister　say　a　word。
These　high　protectors　aiding；　he　obtained　for　the　morrow　a　second
interview；　in　which；　being　armed　with　a　line　from　the　autocrat　of
Foreign　affairs　to　the　pacha　of　the　Interior；　Jacquet　hoped　to　carry
the　matter　by　assault。　He　was　ready　with　reasons；　and　answers　to
peremptory　questions；in　short；　he　was　armed　at　all　points；　but　he
failed。

〃This　matter　does　not　concern　me；〃　said　the　minister；　〃it　belongs　to
the　prefect　of　police。　Besides；　there　is　no　law　giving　a　husband　any
legal　right　to　the　body　of　his　wife；　nor　to　fathers　those　of　their
children。　The　matter　is　serious。　There　are　questions　of　public　utility
involved　which　will　have　to　be　examined。　The　interests　of　the　city　of
Paris　might　suffer。　Therefore　if　the　matter　depended　on　me；　which　it
does　not；　I　could　not　decide　/hic　et　nunc/；　I　should　require　a
report。〃

A　/report/　is　to　the　present　system　of　administration　what　limbo　or
hades　is　to　Christianity。　Jacquet　knew　very　well　the　mania　for
〃reports〃；　he　had　not　waited　until　this　occasion　to　groan　at　that
bureaucratic　absurdity。　He　knew　that　since　the　invasion　into　public
business　of　the　/Report/　（an　administrative　revolution　consummated　in
1804）　there　was　never　known　a　single　minister　who　would　take　upon
himself　to　have　an　opinion　or　to　decide　the　slightest　matter；　unless
that　opinion　or　matter　had　been　winnowed；　sifted；　and　plucked　to　bits
by　the　paper…spoilers；　quill…drivers；　and　splendid　intellects　of　his
particular　bureau。　Jacquethe　was　one　of　those　who　are　worthy　of
Plutarch　as　biographersaw　that　he　had　made　a　mistake　in　his
management　of　the　affair；　and　had；　in　fact；　rendered　it　impossible　by
trying　to　proceed　legally。　The　thing　he　should　have　done　was　to　have
taken　Madame　Jules　to　one　of　Desmaret's　estates　in　the　country；　and
there；　under　the　good…natured　authority　of　some　village　mayor　to　have
gratified　the　sorrowful　longing　of　his　friend。　Law；　constitutional　and
administrative；　begets　nothing；　it　is　a　barren　monster　for　peoples；
for　kings；　and　for　private　interests。　But　the　peoples　decipher　no
principles　but　those　that　are　writ　in　blood；　and　the　evils　of　legality
will　always　be　pacific；　it　flattens　a　nation　down；　that　is　all。
Jacquet；　a　man　of　modern　liberty；　returned　home　reflecting　on　the
benefits　of　arbitrary　power。

When　he　went　with　his　report　to　Jules；　he　found　it　necessary　to
deceive　him；　for　the　unhappy　man　was　in　a　high　fever；　unable　to　leave
his　bed。　The　minister　of　the　Interior　mentioned；　at　a　ministerial
dinner　that　same　evening；　the　singular　fancy　of　a　Parisian　in　wishing
to　burn　his　wife　after　the　manner　of　the　Romans。　The　clubs　of　Paris
took　up　the　subject；　and　talked　for　a　while　of　the　burials　of
antiquity。　Ancient　things　were　just　then　becoming　a　fashion；　and　some
persons　declared　that　it　would　be　a　fine　thing　to　re…establish；　for
distinguished　persons；　the　funeral　pyre。　This　opinion　had　its
defenders　and　its　detractors。　Some　said　that　there　were　too　many　such
personages；　and　the　price　of　wood　would　be　enormously　increased　by
such　a　custom；　moreover；　it　would　be　absurd　to　see　our　ancestors　in
their　urns　in　the　procession　at　Longchamps。　And　if　the　urns　were
valuable；　they　were　likely　some　day　to　be　sold　at　auction；　full　of
respectable　ashes；　or　seized　by　creditors；a　race　of　men　who
respected　nothing。　The　other　side　made　answer　that　our　ancestors　were
much　safer　in　urns　than　at　Pere…Lachaise；　for　before　very　long　the
city　of　Paris　would　be　compelled　to　order　a　Saint…Bartholomew　against
its　dead；　who　were　invading　the　neighboring　country；　and　threatening
to　invade　the　territory　of　Brie。　It　was；　in　short；　one　of　those　futile
but　witty　discussions　which　sometimes　cause　deep　and　painful　wounds。
Happily　for　Jules；　he　knew　nothing　of　the　conversations；　the　witty
speeches；　and　arguments　which　his　sorrow　had　furnished　to　the　tongues
of　Paris。

The　prefect　of　police　was　indignant　that　Monsieur　Jacquet　had　appealed
to　a　minister　to　avoid　the　wise　delays　of　the　commissioners　of　the
public　highways；　for　the　exhumation　of　Madame　Jules　was　a　question
belonging　to　that　department。　The　police　bureau　was　doing　its　best　to
reply　promptly　to　the　petition；　one　appeal　was　quite　sufficient　to　set
the　office　in　motion；　and　once　in　motion　matters　would　go　far。　But　as
for　the　administration；　that　might　take　the　case　before　the　Council　of
state；a　machine　very　difficult　indeed　to　move。

After　the　second　day　Jacquet　was　obliged　to　tell　his　friend　that　he
must　renounce　his　desire；　because；　in　a　city　where　the　number　of　tears
shed　on　black　draperies　is　tariffed；　where　the　laws　recognize　seven
classes　of　funerals；　where　the　scrap　of　ground　to　hold　the　dead　is
sold　at　its　weight　in　silver；　where　grief　is　worked　for　what　it　is
worth；　where　the　prayers　of　the　Church　are　costly；　and　the　vestry
claim　payment　for　extra　voices　in　the　/Dies　irae/；all　attempt　to　get
out　of　the　rut　prescribed　by　the　authorities　for　sorrow　is　useless　and
impossible。

〃It　would　have　been　to　me；〃　said　Jules；　〃a　comfort　in　my　misery。　I
meant　to　have　died　away　from　here；　and　I　hoped　to　hold　her　in　my　arms
in　a　distant　grave。　I　did　not　know　that　bureaucracy　could　send　its
claws　into　our　very　coffins。〃

He　now　wished　to　see　if　room　had　been　left　for　him　beside　his　wife。
The　two　friends　went　to　the　cemetery。　When　they　reached　it　they　found
（as　at　the　doors　of　museums；　galleries；　and　coach…offices）　/ciceroni/；
who　proposed　to　guide　them　through　the　labyrinth　of　Pere…Lachaise。
Neither　Jules　nor　Jacquet　could　have　found　the　spot　where　Clemence
lay。　Ah；　frightful　anguish！　They　went　to　the　lodge　to　consult　the
porter　of　the　cemetery。　The　dead　have　a　porter；　and　there　are　hours
when　the　dead　are　〃not　receiving。〃　It　is　necessary　to　upset　all　the
rules　and　regulations　of　the　upper　and　lower　police　to　obtain
permission　to　weep　at　night；　in　silence　and　solitude；　over　the　grave
where　a　loved　one　lies。　There's　a　rule　for　summer　and　a　rule　for
winter　about　this。

Certainly；　of　all　the　porters　in　Paris；　the　porter　of　Pere…Lachaise　is
the　luckiest。　In　the　first　place；　he　has　no　gate…cord　to　pull；　then；
instead　of　a　lodge；　he　has　a　house；an　establishment　which　is　not
quite　ministerial；　although　a　vast　number　of　persons　come　under　his
administration；　and　a　good　many　employees。　And　this　governor　of　the
dead　has　a　salary；　with　emoluments；　and　acts　under　powers　of　which
none　complain；　he　plays　despot　at　his　ease。　His　lodge　is　not　a　place
of　business；　though　it　has　departments　where　the　book…keeping　of
receipts；　expenses；　and　profits；　is　carried　on。　The　man　is　not　a
/suisse/；　nor　a　concierge；　nor　actually　a　porter。　The　gate　which
admits　the　dead　stands　wide　open；　and　though　there　are　monuments　and
buildings　to　be　cared　for；　he　is　not　a　care…taker。　In　short；　he　is　an
indefinable　anomaly；　an　authority　which　participates　in　all；　and　yet
is　nothing；an　authority　placed；　like　the　dead　on　whom　it　is　based；
outside　of　all。　Nevertheless；　this　exceptional　man　grows　out　of　the
city　of　Paris；that　chimerical　creation　like　the　ship　which　is　its
emblem；　that　creature　of　reason　moving　on　a　thousand　paws　which　are
seldom　unanimous　in　motion。

T