ferragus-第16章

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seeing　her　smile　sadly　and　open　her　mouth　as　if　to　speak。　〃Say
nothing；　do　not　reproach　me。　Besides；　could　you　say　anything　I　have
not　said　myself　for　the　last　three　hours？　Yes；　for　three　hours；　I　have
been　here；　watching　you　as　you　slept；　so　beautiful！　admiring　that
pure；　peaceful　brow。　Yes；　yes！　you　have　always　told　me　your　thoughts；
have　you　not？　I　alone　am　in　that　soul。　While　I　look　at　you；　while　my
eyes　can　plunge　into　yours　I　see　all　plainly。　Your　life　is　as　pure　as
your　glance　is　clear。　No；　there　is　no　secret　behind　those　transparent
eyes。〃　He　rose　and　kissed　their　lids。　〃Let　me　avow　to　you；　dearest
soul；〃　he　said；　〃that　for　the　last　five　years　each　day　has　increased
my　happiness；　through　the　knowledge　that　you　are　all　mine；　and　that　no
natural　affection　even　can　take　any　of　your　love。　Having　no　sister；　no
father；　no　mother；　no　companion；　I　am　neither　above　nor　below　any
living　being　in　your　heart；　I　am　alone　there。　Clemence；　repeat　to　me
those　sweet　things　of　the　spirit　you　have　so　often　said　to　me；　do　not
blame　me；　comfort　me；　I　am　so　unhappy。　I　have　an　odious　suspicion　on
my　conscience；　and　you　have　nothing　in　your　heart　to　sear　it。　My
beloved；　tell　me；　could　I　stay　there　beside　you？　Could　two　heads
united　as　ours　have　been　lie　on　the　same　pillow　when　one　was　suffering
and　the　other　tranquil？　What　are　you　thinking　of？〃　he　cried　abruptly；
observing　that　Clemence　was　anxious；　confused；　and　seemed　unable　to
restrain　her　tears。

〃I　am　thinking　of　my　mother；〃　she　answered；　in　a　grave　voice。　〃You
will　never　know；　Jules；　what　I　suffer　in　remembering　my　mother's　dying
farewell；　said　in　a　voice　sweeter　than　all　music；　and　in　feeling　the
solemn　touch　of　her　icy　hand　at　a　moment　when　you　overwhelm　me　with
those　assurances　of　your　precious　love。〃

She　raised　her　husband；　strained　him　to　her　with　a　nervous　force
greater　than　that　of　men；　and　kissed　his　hair；　covering　it　with　tears。

〃Ah！　I　would　be　hacked　in　pieces　for　you！　Tell　me　that　I　make　you
happy；　that　I　am　to　you　the　most　beautiful　of　womena　thousand　women
to　you。　Oh！　you　are　loved　as　no　other　man　ever　was　or　will　be。　I　don't
know　the　meaning　of　those　words　'duty；'　'virtue。'　Jules；　I　love　you
for　yourself；　I　am　happy　in　loving　you；　I　shall　love　you　more　and　more
to　my　dying　day。　I　have　pride　in　my　love；　I　feel　it　is　my　destiny　to
have　one　sole　emotion　in　my　life。　What　I　shall　tell　you　now　is
dreadful；　I　knowbut　I　am　glad　to　have　no　child；　I　do　not　wish　for
any。　I　feel　I　am　more　wife　than　mother。　Well；　then；　can　you　fear？
Listen　to　me；　my　own　beloved；　promise　to　forget；　not　this　hour　of
mingled　tenderness　and　doubt；　but　the　words　of　that　madman。　Jules；　you
/must/。　Promise　me　not　to　see　him；　not　to　go　to　him。　I　have　a　deep
conviction　that　if　you　set　one　foot　in　that　maze　we　shall　both　roll
down　a　precipice　where　I　shall　perishbut　with　your　name　upon　my
lips；　your　heart　in　my　heart。　Why　hold　me　so　high　in　that　heart　and
yet　so　low　in　reality？　What！　you　who　give　credit　to　so　many　as　to
money；　can　you　not　give　me　the　charity　of　faith？　And　on　the　first
occasion　in　our　lives　when　you　might　prove　to　me　your　boundless　trust；
do　you　cast　me　from　my　throne　in　your　heart？　Between　a　madman　and　me；
it　is　the　madman　whom　you　choose　to　believe？　oh；　Jules！〃　She　stopped；
threw　back　the　hair　that　fell　about　her　brow　and　neck；　and　then；　in　a
heart…rending　tone；　she　added：　〃I　have　said　too　much；　one　word　should
suffice。　If　your　soul　and　your　forehead　still　keep　this　cloud；　however
light　it　be；　I　tell　you　now　that　I　shall　die　of　it。〃

She　could　not　repress　a　shudder；　and　turned　pale。

〃Oh！　I　will　kill　that　man；〃　thought　Jules；　as　he　lifted　his　wife　in
his　arms　and　carried　her　to　her　bed。

〃Let　us　sleep　in　peace；　my　angel；〃　he　said。　〃I　have　forgotten　all；　I
swear　it！〃

Clemence　fell　asleep　to　the　music　of　those　sweet　words；　softly
repeated。　Jules；　as　he　watched　her　sleeping；　said　in　his　heart：

〃She　is　right；　when　love　is　so　pure；　suspicion　blights　it。　To　that
young　soul；　that　tender　flower；　a　blightyes；　a　blight　means　death。〃

When　a　cloud　comes　between　two　beings　filled　with　affection　for　each
other　and　whose　lives　are　in　absolute　unison；　that　cloud；　though　it
may　disperse；　leaves　in　those　souls　a　trace　of　its　passage。　Either
love　gains　a　stronger　life；　as　the　earth　after　rain；　or　the　shock
still　echoes　like　distant　thunder　through　a　cloudless　sky。　It　is
impossible　to　recover　absolutely　the　former　life；　love　will　either
increase　or　diminish。

At　breakfast；　Monsieur　and　Madame　Jules　showed　to　each　other　those
particular　attentions　in　which　there　is　always　something　of
affectation。　There　were　glances　of　forced　gaiety；　which　seemed　the
efforts　of　persons　endeavoring　to　deceive　themselves。　Jules　had
involuntary　doubts；　his　wife　had　positive　fears。　Still；　sure　of　each
other；　they　had　slept。　Was　this　strained　condition　the　effect　of　a
want　of　faith；　or　was　it　only　a　memory　of　their　nocturnal　scene？　They
did　not　know　themselves。　But　they　loved　each　other　so　purely　that　the
impression　of　that　scene；　both　cruel　and　beneficent；　could　not　fail　to
leave　its　traces　in　their　souls；　both　were　eager　to　make　those　traces
disappear；　each　striving　to　be　the　first　to　return　to　the　other；　and
thus　they　could　not　fail　to　think　of　the　cause　of　their　first
variance。　To　loving　souls；　this　is　not　grief；　pain　is　still　far…off；
but　it　is　a　sort　of　mourning；　which　is　difficult　to　depict。　If　there
are；　indeed；　relations　between　colors　and　the　emotions　of　the　soul；
if；　as　Locke's　blind　man　said；　scarlet　produces　on　the　sight　the
effect　produced　upon　the　hearing　by　a　blast　of　trumpets；　it　is
permissible　to　compare　this　reaction　of　melancholy　to　mourning　tones
of　gray。

But　even　so；　love　saddened；　love　in　which　remains　a　true　sentiment　of
its　happiness；　momentarily　troubled　though　it　be；　gives　enjoyments
derived　from　pain　and　pleasure　both；　which　are　all　novel。　Jules
studied　his　wife's　voice；　he　watched　her　glances　with　the　freshness　of
feeling　that　inspired　him　in　the　earliest　days　of　his　passion　for　her。
The　memory　of　five　absolutely　happy　years；　her　beauty；　the　candor　of
her　love；　quickly　effaced　in　her　husband's　mind　the　last　vestiges　of
an　intolerable　pain。

The　day　was　Sunday；a　day　on　which　there　was　no　Bourse　and　no
business　to　be　done。　The　reunited　pair　passed　the　whole　day　together；
getting　farther　into　each　other's　hearts　than　they　ever　yet　had　done；
like　two　children　who　in　a　moment　of　fear；　hold　each　other　closely　and
cling　together；　united　by　an　instinct。　There　are　in　this　life　of　two…
in…one　completely　happy　days；　the　gift　of　chance；　ephemeral　flowers；
born　neither　of　yesterday　nor　belonging　to　the　morrow。　Jules　and
Clemence　now　enjoyed　this　day　as　though　they　forboded　it　to　be　the
last　of　their　loving　life。　What　name　shall　we　give　to　that　mysterious
power　which　hastens　the　steps　of　travellers　before　the　storm　is
visible；　which　makes　the　life　and　beauty　of　the　dying　so　resplendent；
and　fills　the　parting　soul　with　joyous　projects　for　days　before　death
comes；　which　tells　the　midnight　student　to　fill　his　lamp　when　it
shines　brightest；　and　makes　the　mother　fear　the　thoughtful　look　cast
upon　her　infant　by　an　observing　man？　We　all　are　affected　by　this
influence　in　the　great　catastrophes　of　life；　but　it　has　never　yet　been
named　or　studied；　it　is　something　more　than　presentiment；　but　not　as
yet　clear　vision。

All　went　well　till　the　following　day。　On　Monday；　Jules　Desmarets；
obliged　to　go　to　the　Bourse　on　his　usual　business；　asked　his　wife；　as
usual；　if　she　would　take　advantage　of　his　carriage　and　let　him　drive
her　anywhere。

〃No；〃　she　said；　〃the　day　is　too　unpleasant　to　go　out。〃

It　was　raining　in　torrents。　At　half…past　two　o'clock　Monsieur
Desmarets　reached　the　Treasury。　At　four　o'clock；　as　he　left　the
Bourse；　he　came　face　to　face　with　Monsieur　de　Maulincour；　who　was
waiting　for　him　with　the　nervous　pertinacity　of　hatred　and　vengeance。

〃Monsieur；〃　he　said；　taking　Monsieur　Desmarets　by　the　arm；　〃I　have
important　information　to　give　you。　Listen　to　me。　I　am　too　loyal　a　man
to　have　recourse　to　anonymous　letters　with　which　to　trouble　your　peace
of　mind；　I　prefer　to　speak　to　you　in　person。　B