green mansions-第58章
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nemies； for they had but tortured and destroyed her body with fire； while I had cast this shadow on her soulthis sorrow transcending all sorrows； darker than death； immitigable； eternal。
If I could only have faded gradually； painlessly； growing feebler in body and dimmer in my senses each day； to sink at last into sleep！ But it could not be。 Still the fever in my brain； the mocking voice by day； the phantoms by night； and at last I became convinced that unless I quitted the forest before long； death would come to me in some terrible shape。 But in the feeble condition I was now in； and without any provisions； to escape from the neighbourhood of Parahuari was impossible； seeing that it was necessary at starting to avoid the villages where the Indians were of the same tribe as Runi； who would recognize me as the white man who was once his guest and afterwards his implacable enemy。 I must wait； and in spite of a weakened body and a mind diseased； struggle still to wrest a scanty subsistence from wild nature。
One day I discovered an old prostrate tree； buried under a thick growth of creeper and fern； the wood of which was nearly or quite rotten； as I proved by thrusting my knife to the heft in it。 No doubt it would contain grubsthose huge； white wood…borers which now formed an important item in my diet。 On the following day I returned to the spot with a chopper and a bundle of wedges to split the trunk up； but had scarcely commenced operations when an animal； startled at my blows； rushed or rather wriggled from its hiding…place under the dead wood at a distance of a few yards from me。 It was a robust； round…headed； short…legged creature； about as big as a good…sized cat； and clothed in a thick； greenish…brown fur。 The ground all about was covered with creepers； binding the ferns； bushes； and old dead branches together； and in this confused tangle the animal scrambled and tore with a great show of energy； but really made very little progress； and all at once it flashed into my mind that it was a slotha common animal； but rarely seen on the groundwith no tree near to take refuge in。 The shock of joy this discovery produced was great enough to unnerve me； and for some moments I stood trembling； hardly able to breathe； then recovering I hastened after it； and stunned it with a blow from my chopper on its round head。
〃Poor sloth！〃 I said as I stood over it。 〃Poor old lazy…bones！ Did Rima ever find you fast asleep in a tree； hugging a branch as if you loved it； and with her little hand pat your round； human…like head； and laugh mockingly at the astonishment in your drowsy； waking eyes； and scold you tenderly for wearing your nails so long； and for being so ugly？ Lazybones； your death is revenged！ Oh； to be out of this woodaway from this sacred placeto be anywhere where killing is not murder！〃
Then it came into my mind that I was now in possession of the supply of food which would enable me to quit the wood。 A noble capture！ As much to me as if a stray； migratory mule had rambled into the wood and found me； and I him。 Now I would be my own mule； patient； and long…suffering； and far…going； with naked feet hardened to hoofs； and a pack of provender on my back to make me independent of the dry； bitter grass on the sunburnt savannahs。
Part of that night and the next morning was spent in curing the flesh over a smoky fire of green wood and in manufacturing a rough sack to store it in； for I had resolved to set out on my journey。 How safely to convey Rima's treasured ashes was a subject of much thought and anxiety。 The clay vessel on which I had expended so much loving； sorrowful labour had to be left； being too large and heavy to carry； eventually I put the fragments into a light sack； and in order to avert suspicion from the people I would meet on the way； above the ashes I packed a layer of roots and bulbs。 These I would say contained medicinal properties； known to the white doctors； to whom I would sell them on my arrival at a Christian settlement； and with the money buy myself clothes to start life afresh。
On the morrow I would bid a last farewell to that forest of many memories。 And my journey would be eastwards； over a wild savage land of mountains； rivers； and forests； where every dozen miles would be like a hundred of Europe； but a land inhabited by tribes not unfriendly to the stranger。 And perhaps it would be my good fortune to meet with Indians travelling east who would know the easiest routes； and from time to time some compassionate voyager would let me share his wood…skin； and many leagues would be got over without weariness； until some great river； flowing through British or Dutch Guiana； would be reached； and so on； and on； by slow or swift stages； with little to eat perhaps； with much labour and pain； in hot sun and in storm； to the Atlantic at last； and towns inhabited by Christian men。
In the evening of that day； after completing my preparations； I supped on the remaining portions of the sloth； not suitable for preservation； roasting bits of fat on the coals and boiling the head and bones into a broth； and after swallowing the liquid I crunched the bones and sucked the marrow； feeding like some hungry carnivorous animal。
Glancing at the fragments scattered on the floor； I remembered old Nuflo； and how I had surprised him at his feast of rank coatimundi in his secret retreat。 〃Nuflo； old neighbour；〃 said I； 〃how quiet you are under your green coverlet； spangled just now with yellow flowers！ It is no sham sleep； old man； I know。 If any suspicion of these curious doings； this feast of flesh on a spot once sacred； could flit like a small moth into your mouldy hollow skull you would soon thrust out your old nose to sniff the savour of roasting fat once more。〃
There was in me at that moment an inclination to laughter； it came to nothing； but affected me strangely； like an impulse I had not experienced since boyhoodfamiliar； yet novel。 After the good…night to my neighbour； I tumbled into my straw and slept soundly； animal…like。 No fancies and phantoms that night： the lidless； white； implacable eyes of the serpent's severed head were turned to dust at last； no sudden dream…glare lighted up old Cla…cla's wrinkled dead face and white； blood…dabbled locks； old Nuflo stayed beneath his green coverlet； nor did my mournful spirit…bride come to me to make my heart faint at the thought of immortality。
But when morning dawned again； it was bitter to rise up and go away for ever from that spot where I had often talked with Rimathe true and the visionary。 The sky was cloudless and the forest wet as if rain had fallen； it was only a heavy dew； and it made the foliage look pale and hoary in the early light。 And the light grew； and a whispering wind sprung as I walked through the wood； and the fast…evaporating moisture was like a bloom on the feathery fronds and grass and rank herbage； but on the higher foliage it was like a faint iridescent mista glory above the trees。 The everlasting beauty and freshness of nature was over all again； as I had so often seen it with joy and adoration before grief and dreadful passions had dimmed my vision。 And now as I walked； murmuring my last farewell； my eyes grew dim again with the tears that gathered to them。
CHAPTER XXII
Before that well…nigh hopeless journey to the coast was half over I became illso ill that anyone who had looked on me might well have imagined that I had come to the end of my pilgrimage。 That was what I feared。 For days I remained sunk in the deepest despondence； then； in a happy moment； I remembered how； after being bitten by the serpent； when death had seemed near and inevitable； I had madly rushed away through the forest in search of help； and wandered lost for hours in the storm and darkness； and in the end escaped death； probably by means of these frantic exertions。 The recollection served to inspire me with a new desperate courage。 Bidding good…bye to the Indian village where the fever had smitten me； I set out once more on that apparently hopeless adventure。 Hopeless； indeed； it seemed to one in my weak condition。 My legs trembled under me when I walked； while hot sun and pelting rain were like flame and stinging ic
