green mansions-第46章

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。　　It　was　like　morning　with　the　light　teasing　me　to　open　my　eyes　and　look　at　it。　　Not　yet；　dear　light；　a　little　while　longer；　it　is　so　sweet　to　lie　still。　　But　it　would　not　leave　me；　and　stayed　teasing　me　still；　like　a　small　shining　green　fly；　until；　because　it　teased　me　so；　I　opened　my　lids　just　a　little。　It　was　not　morning；　but　the　firelight；　and　I　was　in　your　arms；　not　in　my　little　bed。　　Your　eyes　looking；　looking　into　mine。　　But　I　could　see　yours　better。　　I　remembered　everything　then；　how　you　once　asked　me　to　look　into　your　eyes。　　I　remembered　so　many　thingsoh；　so　many！〃

〃How　many　things　did　you　remember；　Rima？〃

〃Listen；　Abel；　do　you　ever　lie　on　the　dry　moss　and　look　straight　up　into　a　tree　and　count　a　thousand　leaves？〃

〃No；　sweetest；　that　could　not　be　done；　it　is　so　many　to　count。　　Do　you　know　how　many　a　thousand　are？〃

〃Oh；　do　I　not！　　When　a　humming…bird　flies　close　to　my　face　and　stops　still　in　the　air；　humming　like　a　bee；　and　then　is　gone；　in　that　short　time　I　can　count　a　hundred　small　round　bright　feathers　on　its　throat。　　That　is　only　a　hundred；　a　thousand　are　more；　ten　times。　　Looking　up　I　count　a　thousand　leaves；　then　stop　counting；　because　there　are　thousands　more　behind　the　first；　and　thousands　more；　crowded　together　so　that　I　cannot　count　them。　　Lying　in　your　arms；　looking　up　into　your　face；　it　was　like　that；　I　could　not　count　the　things　I　remembered。　　In　the　wood；　when　you　were　there；　and　before；　and　long；　long　ago　at　Voa；　when　I　was　a　child　with　mother。〃

〃Tell　me　some　of　the　things　you　remembered；　Rima。〃

〃Yes；　oneonly　one　now。　　When　I　was　a　child　at　Voa　mother　was　very　lameyou　know　that。　　Whenever　we　went　out；　away　from　the　houses；　into　the　forest；　walking　slowly；　slowly；　she　would　sit　under　a　tree　while　I　ran　about　playing。　　And　every　time　I　came　back　to　her　I　would　find　her　so　pale；　so　sad；　cryingcrying。　That　was　when　I　would　hide　and　come　softly　back　so　that　she　would　not　hear　me　coming。　　'Oh；　mother；　why　are　you　crying？　　Does　your　lame　foot　hurt　you？'　And　one　day　she　took　me　in　her　arms　and　told　me　truly　why　she　cried。〃

She　ceased　speaking；　but　looked　at　me　with　a　strange　new　light　coming　into　her　eyes。

〃Why　did　she　cry；　my　love？〃

〃Oh；　Abel；　can　you　understandnowat　last！〃　　And　putting　her　lips　close　to　my　ear；　she　began　to　murmur　soft；　melodious　sounds　that　told　me　nothing。　　Then　drawing　back　her　head；　she　looked　again　at　me；　her　eyes　glistening　with　tears；　her　lips　half　parted　with　a　smile；　tender　and　wistful。

Ah；　poor　child！　　in　spite　of　all　that　had　been　said；　all　that　had　happened；　she　had　returned　to　the　old　delusion　that　I　must　understand　her　speech。　　I　could　only　return　her　look；　sorrowfully　and　in　silence。

Her　face　became　clouded　with　disappointment；　then　she　spoke　again　with　something　of　pleading　in　her　tone。　　〃Look；　we　are　not　now　apart；　I　hiding　in　the　wood；　you　seeking；　but　together；　saying　the　same　things。　　In　your　languageyours　and　now　mine。　　But　before　you　came　I　knew　nothing；　nothing；　for　there　was　only　grandfather　to　talk　to。　　A　few　words　each　day；　the　same　words。　　If　yours　is　mine；　mine　must　be　yours。　　Oh；　do　you　not　know　that　mine　is　better？〃

〃Yes；　better；　but　alas！　　Rima；　I　can　never　hope　to　understand　your　sweet　speech；　much　less　to　speak　it。　　The　bird　that　only　chirps　and　twitters　can　never　sing　like　the　organ…bird。〃

Crying；　she　hid　her　face　against　my　neck；　murmuring　sadly　between　her　sobs：　〃Nevernever！〃

How　strange　it　seemed；　in　that　moment　of　joy；　such　a　passion　of　tears；　such　despondent　words！

For　some　minutes　I　preserved　a　sorrowful　silence；　realizing　for　the　first　time；　so　far　as　it　was　possible　to　realize…　such　a　thing；　what　my　inability　to　understand　her　secret　language　meant　to　herthat　finer　language　in　which　alone　her　swift　thoughts　and　vivid　emotions　could　be　expressed。　　Easily　and　well　as　she　seemed　able　to　declare　herself　in　my　tongue；　I　could　well　imagine　that　to　her　it　would　seem　like　the　merest　stammering。　　As　she　had　said　to　me　once　when　I　asked　her　to　speak　in　Spanish；　〃That　is　not　speaking。〃　　And　so　long　as　she　could　not　commune　with　me　in　that　better　language；　which　reflected　her　mind；　there　would　not　be　that　perfect　union　of　soul　she　so　passionately　desired。

By　and　by；　as　she　grew　calmer；　I　sought　to　say　something　that　would　be　consoling　to　both　of　us。　　〃Sweetest　Rima；〃　I　spoke；　〃it　is　so　sad　that　I　can　never　hope　to　talk　with　you　in　your　way；　but　a　greater　love　than　this　that　is　ours　we　could　never　feel；　and　love　will　make　us　happy；　unutterably　happy；　in　spite　of　that　one　sadness。　　And　perhaps；　after　a　while；　you　will　be　able　to　say　all　you　wish　in　my　language；　which　is　also　yours；　as　you　said　some　time　ago。　　When　we　are　back　again　in　the　beloved　wood；　and　talk　once　more　under　that　tree　where　we　first　talked；　and　under　the　old　mora；　where　you　hid　yourself　and　threw　down　leaves　on　me；　and　where　you　caught　the　little　spider　to　show　me　how　you　made　yourself　a　dress；　you　shall　speak　to　me　in　your　own　sweet　tongue；　and　then　try　to　say　the　same　things　in　mine。。。。　　And　in　the　end；　perhaps；　you　will　find　that　it　is　not　so　impossible　as　you　think。〃

She　looked　at　me；　smiling　again　through　her　tears；　and　shook　her　head　a　little。

〃Remember　what　I　have　heard；　that　before　your　mother　died　you　were　able　to　tell　Nuflo　and　the　priest　what　her　wish　was。　　Can　you　not；　in　the　same　way；　tell　me　why　she　cried？〃

〃I　can　tell　you；　but　it　will　not　be　telling　you。〃

〃I　understand。　　You　can　tell　the　bare　facts。　　I　can　imagine　something　more；　and　the　rest　I　must　lose。　　Tell　me；　Rima。〃

Her　face　became　troubled；　she　glanced　away　and　let　her　eyes　wander　round　the　dim；　firelit　cavern；　then　they　returned　to　mine　once　more。

〃Look；〃　she　said；　〃grandfather　lying　asleep　by　the　fire。　　So　far　away　from　usoh；　so　far！　　But　if　we　were　to　go　out　from　the　cave；　and　on　and　on　to　the　great　mountains　where　the　city　of　the　sun　is；　and　stood　there　at　last　in　the　midst　of　great　crowds　of　people；　all　looking　at　us；　talking　to　us'　it　would　be　just　the　same。　　They　would　be　like　the　trees　and　rocks　and　animalsso　far！　Not　with　us　nor　we　with　them。　　But　we　are　everywhere　alone　together；　apartwe　two。　　It　is　love；　I　know　it　now；　but　I　did　not　know　it　before　because　I　had　forgotten　what　she　told　me。　　Do　you　think　I　can　tell　you　what　she　said　when　I　asked　her　why　she　cried？　　Oh　no！　　Only　this；　she　and　another　were　like　one；　always；　apart　from　the　others。　　Then　something　camesomething　came！　　O　Abel；　was　that　the　something　you　told　me　about　on　the　mountain？　And　the　other　was　lost　for　ever；　and　she　was　alone　in　the　forests　and　mountains　of　the　world。　　Oh；　why　do　we　cry　for　what　is　lost？　Why　do　we　not　quickly　forget　it　and　feel　glad　again？　　Now　only　do　I　know　what　you　felt；　O　sweet　mother；　when　you　sat　still　and　cried；　while　I　ran　about　and　played　and　laughed！　　O　poor　mother！　Oh；　what　pain！〃　　And　hiding　her　face　against　my　neck；　she　sobbed　once　more。

To　my　eyes　also　love　and　sympathy　brought　the　tears；　but　in　a　little　while　the　fond；　comforting　words　I　spoke　and　my　caresses　recalled　her　from　that　sad　past　to　the　present；　then；　lying　back　as　at　first；　her　head　resting　on　my　folded　cloak；　her　body　partly　supported　by　my　encircling　arm　and　partly　by　the　rock　we　were　leaning　against；　her　half…closed　eyes　turned　to　mine　expressed　a　tender　assured　happinessthe　chastened　gladness　of　sunshine　after　rain；　a　soft　delicious　languor　that　was　partly　passionate　with　the　passion　etherealized。

〃Tell　me；　Rima；〃　I　said；　bending　down　to　her；　〃in　all　those　troubled　days　with　me　in　the　woods　had　you　no　happy　moments？　　Did　not　something　in　your　heart　tell　you　that　it　was　sweet　to　love；　even　before　you　knew　what　love　meant？〃

〃Yes；　and　onceO　Abel；　do　you　remember　that　night；　after　returning　from　Ytaioa；　when　you　sat　so　late　talking　by　the　fireI　in　the　shadow；　never　stirring；　listening；　listening；　you　by　the　fire　with　the　light　on　your　face；　saying　so　many　strange　things？　I　was　happy　thenoh；　how　happy！　　It　was　black　night　and　raining；　and　I　a　plant　growing　in　the　dark；　feeling　the　sweet　raindrops　falling；　falling　on　my　leaves。　　Oh；　it　will　be　morning　by　and　by　and　the　sun　will　shine　on　my　wet　leaves；　and　that　made　me　glad　till　I　trembled　with　happiness。　　Then　suddenly　the　lightning　would