green mansions-第27章
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e secrecy I had practiced。 Even now while I inclined idly in my hammock； she would be roaming the forest in search of me； listening for my footsteps； fearing perhaps that I had met with some accident where there was no person to succour me。 It was painful to think of her in this way； of the pain I had doubtless given her by stealing off without a word of warning。 Springing to the floor； I flung out of the house and went down to the stream。 It was better there； for now the greatest heat of the day was over； and the weltering sun began to look large and red and rayless through the afternoon haze。
I seated myself on a stone within a yard or two of the limpid water； and now the sight of nature and the warm； vital air and sunshine infected my spirit and made it possible for me to face the position calmly； even hopefully。 The position was this： for some days the idea had been present in my mind； and was now fixed there； that this desert was to be my permanent home。 The thought of going back to Caracas； that little Paris in America； with its Old World vices； its idle political passions； its empty round of gaieties； was unendurable。 I was changed； and this changeso great； so completewas proof that the old artificial life had not been and could not be the real one； in harmony with my deeper and truer nature。 I deceived myself； you will say； as I have often myself said。 I had and I had not。 It is too long a question to discuss here； but just then I felt that I had quitted the hot； tainted atmosphere of the ballroom； that the morning air of heaven refreshed and elevated me and was sweet to breathe。 Friends and relations I had who were dear to me； but I could forget them； even as I could forget the splendid dreams which had been mine。 And the woman I had loved； and who perhaps loved me in returnI could forget her too。 A daughter of civilization and of that artificial life； she could never experience such feelings as these and return to nature as I was doing。 For women； though within narrow limits more plastic than men； are yet without that larger adaptiveness which can take us back to the sources of life； which they have left eternally behind。 Better； far better for both of us that she should wait through the long； slow months； growing sick at heart with hope deferred； that； seeing me no more； she should weep my loss； and be healed at last by time； and find love and happiness again in the old way； in the old place。
And while I thus sat thinking； sadly enough； but not despondingly； of past and present and future； all at once on the warm； still air came the resonant； far…reaching KLING…KLANG of the campanero from some leafy summit half a league away。 KLING…KLANG fell the sound again； and often again； at intervals； affecting me strangely at that moment； so bell…like； so like the great wide…travelling sounds associated in our minds with Christian worship。 And yet so unlike。 A bell； yet not made of gross metal dug out of earth； but of an ethereal； sublimer material that floats impalpable and invisible in spacea vital bell suspended on nothing； giving out sounds in harmony with the vastness of blue heaven； the unsullied purity of nature； the glory of the sun； and conveying a mystic； a higher message to the soul than the sounds that surge from tower and belfry。
O mystic bell…bird of the heavenly race of the swallow and dove； the quetzal and the nightingale！ When the brutish savage and the brutish white man that slay thee； one for food； the other for the benefit of science； shall have passed away； live still； live to tell thy message to the blameless spiritualized race that shall come after us to possess the earth； not for a thousand years； but for ever； for how much shall thy voice be our clarified successors when even to my dull； unpurged soul thou canst speak such high things and bring it a sense of an impersonal； all…compromising One who is in me and I in Him； flesh of His flesh and soul of His soul。
The sounds ceased； but I was still in that exalted mood and； like a person in a trance； staring fixedly before me into the open wood of scattered dwarf trees on the other side of the stream； when suddenly on the field of vision appeared a grotesque human figure moving towards me。 I started violently； astonished and a little alarmed； but in a very few moments I recognized the ancient Cla…cla； coming home with a large bundle of dry sticks on her shoulders； bent almost double under the burden； and still ignorant of my presence。 Slowly she came down to the stream； then cautiously made her way over the line of stepping…stones by which it was crossed； and only when within ten yards did the old creature catch sight of me sitting silent and motionless in her path。 With a sharp cry of amazement and terror she straightened herself up； the bundle of sticks dropping to the ground； and turned to run from me。 That； at all events； seemed her intention； for her body was thrown forward； and her head and arms working like those of a person going at full speed； but her legs seemed paralysed and her feet remained planted on the same spot。 I burst out laughing； whereat she twisted her neck until her wrinkled； brown old face appeared over her shoulder staring at me。 This made me laugh again； whereupon she straightened herself up once more and turned round to have a good look at me。
〃Come； Cla…cla；〃 I cried； 〃can you not see that I am a living man and no spirit？ I thought no one had remained behind to keep me company and give me food。 Why are you not with the others？〃
〃Ah； why！〃 she returned tragically。 And then deliberately turning from me and assuming a most unladylike attitude； she slapped herself vigorously on the small of the back； exclaiming： 〃Because of my pain here！〃
As she continued in that position with her back towards me for some time； I laughed once more and begged her to explain。
Slowly she turned round and advanced cautiously towards me； staring at me all the time。 Finally； still eyeing me suspiciously； she related that the others had all gone on a visit to a distant village； she starting with them； that after going some distance a pain had attacked her in her hind quarters； so sudden and acute that it had instantly brought her to a full stop； and to illustrate how full the stop was she allowed herself to go down； very unnecessarily； with a flop to the ground。 But she no sooner touched the ground than up she started to her feet again； with an alarmed look on her owlish face； as if she had sat down on a stinging…nettle。
〃We thought you were dead；〃 she remarked； still thinking that I might be a ghost after all。
〃No； still alive；〃 I said。 〃And so because you came to the ground with your pain； they left you behind！ Well； never mind； Cla…cla； we are two now and must try to be happy together。〃
By this time she had recovered from her fear and began to feel highly pleased at my return； only lamenting that she had no meat to give me。 She was anxious to hear my adventures； and the reason of my long absence。 I had no wish to gratify her curiosity； with the truth at all events； knowing very well that with regard to the daughter of the Didi her feelings were as purely savage and malignant as those of Kua…ko。 But it was necessary to say something； and； fortifying myself with the good old Spanish notion that lies told to the heathen are not recorded； I related that a venomous serpent had bitten me； after which a terrible thunderstorm had surprised me in the forest； and night coming on prevented my escape from it； then； next day； remembering that he who is bitten by a serpent dies； and not wishing to distress my friends with the sight of my dissolution； I elected to remain； sitting there in the wood； amusing myself by singing songs and smoking cigarettes； and after several days and nights had gone by； finding that I was not going to die after all； and beginning to feel hungry； I got up and came back。
Old Cla…cla looked very serious； shaking and nodding her head a great deal； muttering to herself； finally she gave it as her opinion that nothing ever would or could kill me； but whether my story had been believed or not she only knew。
I spent an amusing evening with my old savage hostess。 She had thrown off
