the red acorn-第44章
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〃No; but I must speak of it;〃 he said with vehemence entirely foreign to his usual half…mocking philosophy。 〃I must speak of it;〃 he repeated with deepening tones。 〃You surely can not be blind to the fact that I love you devotedlyabsorbingly。 Every day's intercourse must have shown you something of this; which you could not have mistaken。 You must have seen this growing upon me continually; until now I have but few thoughts into which your image does not appear; to brighten and enhance them。 Tell me now that hopes; dearerinfinitely dearerthan any I have ever before cherished; are to have the crown of fruition。〃
〃I can notI can not;〃 she sighed。
〃What can you not? Can't you care for me at least a little?〃
〃I do; I care for you ever so much。 I am not only grateful for all that you have been to me and done for me; but I have a feeling that goes beyond mere gratitude。 But to say that I return the love you profess for methat I even entertain any feeling resembling itI can not; and certainly not at this time。〃
〃But you certainly do not love any one else?〃
〃O; I beg of you not to question me。〃
〃I know I have no right to ask you such a question。 I have no right to pry into any matter which you do not choose to reveal to me of your own free will and accord。 But as all the mail of the hospital goes through my hands; I could not help noticing that in all the months that you have been here you have written to no man; nor received a letter from one。 Upon this I have built my hopes that you were heartfree。〃
〃I can not talk of this; nor of anything now。 I am so wrought up by many things that have happenedby my letter from home; by your unexpected declarationthat my poor brain is in a whirl; and I can not think clearly and connectedly on any subject。 Please do not press me any more now。〃
The torrent of his passion was stayed by this appeal to his forbearance。 He essayed to calm down his impetuous eagerness for a decision of his fate; and said penitently:
〃I beg your pardon。 I really forgot。 I have so long sought an opportunity to speak to you upon this matter; and I have been so often balked at the last moment; that when a seeming chance came I was carried away with it; and in my selfish eagerness for my own happiness; I forgot your distress。 Forgive medo。〃
〃I have nothing to forgive;〃 she said frankly; most touched by his tender consideration。 〃You never allow me an occasion for forgiveness; or to do anything in any way to offset the favors you continually heap upon me。〃
〃Pay them all a thousand times over by giving me the least reason to hope。〃
〃I only wish I couldI only wish I dared。 But I fear to say anything now。 I can not trust myself。〃
〃But you will at least say something that will give me the basis of a hope;〃 he persisted。
〃Not nownot now;〃 she said; giving him her hand; which he seized and kissed fervently; and withdrew from the room。
She bolted the door and gave herself up to the most intense thought。
Assignment to duty with an expedition took Dr。 Denslow away the next morning; without his being able to see her。 When he returned a week later; he found this letter lying on his desk:
MY VERY DEAR FRIEND: The declaration you honored me with making has been the subject of many hours of the most earnest consideration possible。 I am certain that it si due to you and to the confession that you have made of your feelings; that I should in turn confess that I am deeplywhat shall I sayINTERESTED in you? No; that is too prim and prudish a term。 There is in you for me more than a mere attraction; I feel for you something deeper than even warm friendship。 That you would make such a husband as I should cherish and honor; of whom I should be proud; and whose strong; kindly arms would be my secure support and protection until death claimed us; I have not the slightest doubt。 But when I ask myself whether this is really lovethe sacred; all…pervading passion which a woman should feel for the man to whom she gives herself; body and soul; I encounter the strongest doubts。 These doubts have no reference to youonly to myself。 I feel that it would be a degradationa deep profanationfor me to give myself to you; without feeling in its entirety such a love as I have attempted to define。 I have gone away from you because I want to consider this question and decide it with more calmness and impartiality than I can where I meet you daily; and daily receive some kindness from your hands。 These and the magnetism of your presence are temptations which I fear might swerve me from my ideal; and possibly lead to a mistake which we both might ever afterward have reason to regret。
I have; as you will be informed; accepted a detail to one of the hospitals at Nashville。 Do not write me; except to tell me of a change in your postoffice address。 I will not write you; unless I have something of special moment to tell you。 Believe me; whatever may betide; at least your very sincere friend;
Rachel Bond。
Chapter XVIII。 Secret Service。
The flags of war like storm…birds fly; The charging trumpets blow; Yet rolls no thunder in the sky; No earthquake strives below。
And calm and patient Nature keeps Her ancient promise well; Though o'er her bloom and greenness sweeps The battle's breath of hell。
Ah! eyes may well be full of tears; And hearts with hate are hot; But even…paced come round the years; And Nature changes not。
She meets with smiles out bitter grief; With songs our groans of pain; She mocks with tint of flower and leaf The war…field's crimson stain。
Whittier's 〃Battle Autumn of 1862〃
The Summer and Fall of the 〃Battle Year〃 of 1862 had passed without the Army of the Cumberlandthen called the Army of the Ohiobeing able to bring its Rebel antagonist to a decisive struggle。 In September the two had raced entirely across the States of Tennessee and Kentucky; for the prize of Louisville; which the Union army won。 In October the latter chased its enemy back through Kentucky; without being able to inflict upon it more than the abortive blow at Perryville; and November found the two opponents facing each other in Middle Tennesseethe Army of the Cumberland at Nashville; and the Rebel Army of the Tennessee at Murfeesboro; twenty…eight miles distant。 There the two equally matched giants lay confronting each other; and sullenly making ready for the mighty struggle which was to decide the possession of a territory equaling a kingdom in extent。
In the year which had elapsed since the affair at Wildcat Harry Glen's regiment had not participated in a single general engagement。 It had scouted and raided; it had reconnoitered and guarded; it had chased guerrillas through the Winter's rain and mud for days and nights together; it had followed John Morgan's dashing troopers along limestone turnpikes that glowed like brick…kilns under the July sun until three…fourths of the regiment had dropped by the roadside in sheer exhaustion; it had marched over the mountains to Cumberland Gap; and back over the mountains to Lexington; across Kentucky and Tennessee to Huntsville; Ala。; back across those States to the Ohio River; and again back across Kentucky to Nashville; beside side marches as numerous as the branches on a tree; 50 per cent。 of its number had fallen vicitms to sickness and hardship; and 10 per cent。 more had been shot; here and there; a man or two at a time; on the picket or skirmish line; at fords or stockades guarding railroad bridges。 But while other regiments which had suffered nothing like it had painted on their banners 〃Mill Springs;〃 〃Shiloh;〃 and 〃Perryville;〃 its colors had yet to receive their maiden inscription。 This was the hard luck of many of the regiments in the left wing of Buell's army in 1862。
Kent Edwards; whose promotion to the rank of Sergeant; and reduction for some escapade had been a usual monthly occurence during the year; was fond of saying that the regiment was not sent to the field to gain martial glory; but to train as book agents to sell histories of the struggle; 〃When This Cruel War is Over。〃 Whereupon Abe Bolton would improve the occasion to invoke a heated future for every person in a