the red acorn-第13章

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le　sentence　of　them。　　Don't　say　another　word；　and　you　can　stand　in　with　me　on　the　bet。〃

〃Had　your　head　measured　since　you　got　this　idea　into　it？〃　asked　Abe　Bolton；　with　well…assumed　interest。

〃If　he　did；　he　had　to　use　a　surveyor's　chain；〃　suggested　Kent；　flipping　another　small　pebble　in　the　direction　of　the　toad's　retreat。

Alspaugh　had　grown　so　great　upon　the　liberal　feed　of　the　meat　of　flattery；　that　he　could　hardly　make　himself　believe　that　he　had　heard　aright；　and　that　these　men　did　not　care　a　fig　for　himself　or　his　authority。　　Then　recovering　confidence　in　the　fidelity　of　their　ears；　it　seemed　to　him　that　such　conduct　was　aggravated　mutiny；　which　military　discipline　demanded　should　receive　condign　punishment　on　the　spot。　　Had　he　any　confidence　in　his　ability　to　use　the　doughy　weapon　at　his　side；　he　would　not　have　resisted　the　strong　temptation　to　draw　his　sword　and　make　an　example　then　and　there　of　the　contemners　of　his　power　and　magnificence。　　But　the　culprits　has　shown　such　an　aptitude　in　the　use　of　arms　as　to　inspire　his　wholesome　respect；　and　he　was　very　far　from　sure　that　they　might　not　make　a　display　of　his　broadsword　an　occasion　for　heaping　fresh　ridicule　upon　him。　An　opportune　remembrance　came　to　his　aid：

〃If　it　wasn't　for　the　strcit　orders　we　officers　got　yesterday　not　to　allow　ourselves　to　be　provoked　under　any　circumstances　into　striking　our　men；　I'd　learn　you　fellers　mighty　quick　not　to　insult　your　superior　officers。　　I'd　bring　you　to　time；　I　can　tell　you。　But　I'll　settle　with　you　yit。　　I'll　have　you　in　the　guard　hose　on　bread　and　water　in　short　meter；　and　then　I'll　learn　you　to　be　respectful　and　obedient。〃

〃He　means　'teach；'　instead　of　'learn；'〃　said　Kent；　apologetically；　to　Abe。　　〃It's　just　awful　to　have　a　man；　wearing　shoulder…straps；　abuse　English　grammar　in　that　way。　　What's　grammar　done　to　him　to　deserve　such　treatment？　　He　hasn't　even　a　speaking　acquaintance　with　it。〃

〃I　'spose　it's　because　grammar　can't　hit　back。　　That's　the　kind　he　always　picks　on；〃　answered　Abe。

〃You'll　pay　for　this；〃　shouted　Alspaugh；　striding　off　after　the　Seargent　of　the　Guard。

At　that　moment　a　little　drummer　appeared　by　the　flagstaff；　and　beat　a　lively　rataplan。

〃That's　for　dress…parade；〃　said　Kent　Edwards；　rising。　　〃We'd　better　skip　right　over　to　quarters　and　fall　in。〃

〃Wish　their　dress…parades　were　in　the　brimstone　flames；〃　growled　Abe　Bolton；　as　he　rose　to　accompany　his　comrade。　　〃All　they're　for　is　to　stand　up　as　a　background；　to　show　off　a　lot　of　spruce　young　officers　dressed　in　fancy　rigs。〃

〃Well；〃　said　Kent；　lightly；　as　they　walked　along；　〃I　kind　of　like　that；　don't　you？　　We　make　picturesque　backgrounds；　don't　we？　you　and　I；　especially　you；　the　soft；　tender；　lithe　and　willowy；　and　I；　the　frowning；　rugged　and　adamantine；　so　to　speak。　　I　think　the　background　business　is　our　best　hold。〃

He　laughed　heartily　at　his　own　sarcasm；　but　Abe　was　not　to　be　moved　by　such　frivolity；　and　answered　glumly：

〃O；　yes；　laugh　about　it；　if　you　choose。　　That's　your　way：　　giggle　over　everything。　　But　when　I　play　background；　I　want　it　to　be　with　something　worth　while　in　the　foreground。　　I　don't　hanker　after　making　myself　a　foil　to　show　off　such　fellers　as　our　officers　are；　to　good　advantage。〃

〃That　don't　bother　me　any　more　than　it　does　a　mountain　to　serve　as　a　background　for　a　nanny　goat　and　a　pair　of　sore…eyed　mules！〃

〃Yes；　but　the　mountain　sometimes　has　an　opportunity　to　drop　an　avalanche　on　'em。〃

At　this　point　of　the　discussion　they　arrived　at　the　company　grounds；　and　had　scarcely　time　to　snatch　up　their　guns　and　don　their　belts　before　the　company　moved　out　to　take　its　place　in　the　regimental　line。

The　occasion　of　Lieutenant　Alspaugh's　elaborate　personal　ornamentation　now　manifested　itself。　　By　reason　of　Captain　Bennett's　absence；　he　was　in　command　of　the　company；　and　was　about　to　make　his　first　appearance　on　parade　in　that　capacity。　　Two　or　three　young　women；　of　the　hollyhock　order　of　beauty；　whom　he　was　very　anxious　to　impress；　had　been　brought　to　camp；　to　witness　his　apotheosis　into　a　commanding　officer。

The　moment；　however；　that　he　placed　himself　at　the　head　of　the　company　and　drew　sword；　the　chill　breath　of　distrust　sent　the　mercury　of　his　self…confidence　down　to　zero。　　It　looked　so　easy　to　command　a　company　when　some　one　else　was　doing　it；　it　was　hard　when　he　tried　it　himself。　　All　the　imps　of　confusion　held　high　revel　in　his　mind　when　he　attempted　to　give　the　orders　which　he　had　conned　until　he　supposed　he　had　them　〃dead…letter　perfect。〃　　he　felt　his　usually…unfailing　assurance　shrivel　up　under　the　gaze　of　hundreds　of　mercilessly　critical　eyes。　　He　managed　to　stammer　out：

〃ATTENTION；　COMPANY！　FORWARD；　FILE　RIGHT；　MARCH！〃

But　as　the　company　began　to　execute　the　order；　it　seemed　to　be　going　just　the　opposite　to　what　he　had　commanded；　and　he　called　out　excitedly：

〃Not　that　way！　　Not　that　way！　　I　said　'file　right；'　and　you're　going　left。〃

〃We　are　filing　right；〃　answered　some　in　the　company。　　〃You're　turned　around；　that's　what's　the　matter　with　you。〃

So　it　was。　　He　had　forgotten　that　when　standing　facing　the　men；　he　must　give　them　orders　in　reverse　from　what　the　movement　appeared　to　him。　　This　increased　his　confusion；　until　all　his　drill　knowledge　seemed　gone　from　him。　　The　sight　of　his　young　lady　friends；　clad　in　masses　of　primary　colors；　stimulated　him　to　a　strong　effort　to　recover　his　audacity；　and　bracing　himself　up；　he　began　calling　out　the　guide　and　step；　with　a　noisy　confidence　that　made　him　heard　all　over　the　parade　ground：

〃Left！　left！　left！　　Hep！　hep！　hep！　　Cast　them　head　and　eyes　to　the　right！〃

Trouble　loomed　up　mountainously　as　he　approached　the　line。　Putting　a　company　into　its　place　on　parade　is　one　of　the　crucial　tests　of　tactical　proficiency。　　To　march　a　company　to　exactly　the　right　spot；　with　every　man　keeping　his　proper　distance　from　his　file…leader〃twenty…eight　inches　from　back　to　breast；〃　clear　down　the　column；　so　that　when　the　order　〃front〃　was　given；　every　one　turns；　as　if　on　pivot；　and　touches　elbows　with　those　on　each　side　of　him；　in　a　straight；　firm　wall　of　men；　without　any　shambling　〃closing　up；〃　or　〃side…stepping〃　to　the　right　or　left；to　do　all　this　at　word　of　command；　looks　very　simple　and　easy　to　the　non…military　spectator；　as　many　other　very　difficult　things　look　simple　and　easy　to　the　inexperienced。　　But　really　it　is　only　possible　to　a　thoroughly　drilled　company；　held　well　in　hand　by　a　competent　commander。　　It　is　something　that；　if　done　well；　is　simply　done　well；　but　if　not　done　well；　is　very　bad。　　It　is　like　an　egg　that　is　either　good　or　utterly　worthless。

Alspaugh　seemed　fated　to　exhaust　the　category　of　possible　mistakes。　Coming　on　the　ground　late　he　found　that　a　gap　had　been　left　in　the　line　for　his　company　which　was　only　barely　sufficient　to　receive　it　when　it　was　aligned　and　compactly　〃dressed。〃

In　his　nervousness　he　halted　the　company　before　it　had　reached　the　right　of　the　gap　by　ten　paces；　and　so　left　about　one…quarter　of　the　company　lapping　over　on　the　one　to　his　left。　　Even　this　was　done　with　an　unsightly　jumble。　　His　confusion　as　to　the　reversal　of　right　and　left　still　abode　with　him。　　He　commanded　〃right　face〃　instead　of　〃front；〃　and　was　amazed　to　see　the　whole　one　hundred　well…drilled　men　whirl　their　backs　around　to　the　regiment　and　the　commanding　officer。　　A　laugh　rippled　down　the　ranks　of　the　other　companies；　even　the　spectators　smiled；　and　something　sounded　like　swearing　by　the　Adjutant　and　Sergeant…Major。

Alspaugh　lifted　his　plumed　hat；　and　wiped　the　beaded　perspiration　from　his　brow　with　the　back　of　one　of　the　yellow　gauntlets。

〃Order　an　'about　face；'〃　whispered　the　Orderly…Sergeant；　whose　face　was　burning　with　shame　at　the　awkward　position　in　which　the　company　found　itself。

〃ABOUTFACE！〃　gasped　Alspaugh。

The　men　turned　on　their　heels。

〃Side…step　to　the　right；〃　whispered　the　Orderly。

〃Side…step　to　the　right；〃　repeated　Alspaugh；　mechanically。

The　men　took　short　side…steps；　and　following　the　orders　which　Alspaugh　repeated　from　the　whispered　suggestions　of　the　Orderly；　the　company　came　clumsily　forward　into　its　place；　〃dressed；〃　and　〃opened　ranks　to　the　rear。〃　　When　at　the　command　of　〃parade…rest；〃　Alspaugh　dr