mary stuart-第11章
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The…state of my house;
The people of my suite;
Subject of my arrival;
Joseph;
Conversation between him and me;
His desire to please me and his repentance;
The explanation of his letter;
Mr。 Livingston。
〃Ah! I was forgetting that。 Yesterday Livingston during supper told
de Rere in a low voice to drink to the health of one I knew well; and
to beg me to do him the honour。 After supper; as I was leaning on
his shoulder near the fire; he said to me; 'Is it not true that there
are visits very agreeable for those who pay them and those who
receive them? But; however satisfied they seem with your arrival; I
challenge their delight to equal the grief of one whom you have left
alone to…day; and who will never be content till he sees you again。'
I asked him of whom he wished to speak to me。 He then answered me by
pressing my arm: 'Of one of those who have not followed you; and
among those it is easy for you to guess of whom I want to speak。'
〃I have worked till two o'clock at the bracelet; I have enclosed a
little key which is attached by two strings: it is not as well worked
as I should like; but I have not had time to make it better; I will
make you a finer one on the first occasion。 Take care that it is not
seen on you; for I have worked at it before everyone; and it would be
recognised to a certainty。
〃I always return; in spite of myself; to the frightful attempt that
you advise。 You compel me to concealments; and above all to
treacheries that make me shudder; I would rather die; believe me;
than do such things; for it makes my heart bleed。 He does not want
to follow me unless I promise him to have the selfsame bed and board
with him as before; and not to abandon him so often。 If I consent to
it; he says he will do all I wish; and will follow me everywhere; but
he has begged me to put off my departure for two days。 I have
pretended to agree to all he wishes; but I have told him not to speak
of our reconciliation to anyone; for fear it should make some lords
uneasy。 At last I shall take him everywhere I wish。。。。 Alas! I have
never deceived anyone; but what would I not do to please you?
Command; and whatever happens; I shall obey。 But see yourself if one
could not contrive some secret means in the shape of a remedy。 He
must purge himself at Craigmiller and take baths there; he will be
some days without going out。 So far as I can see; he is very uneasy;
but he has great trust in what I tell him: however; his confidence
does not go so far as to allow him to open his mind to me。 If you
like; I will tell him every thing: I can have no pleasure in
deceiving someone who is trusting。 However; it will be just as you
wish: do not esteem me the less for that。 It is you advised it;
never would vengeance have taken me so far。 Sometimes he attacks me
in a very sensitive place; and he touches me to the quick when he
tells me that his crimes are known; but that every day greater ones
are committed that one uselessly attempts to hide; since all crimes;
whatsoever they be; great or small; come to men's knowledge and form
the common subject of their discourse。 He adds sometimes; in
speaking to me of Madame de Rere; 'I wish her services may do you
honour。' He has assured me that many people thought; and that he
thought himself; that I was not my own mistress; this is doubtless
because I had rejected the conditions he offered me。 Finally; it is
certain that he is very uneasy about you know what; and that he even
suspects that his life is aimed at。 He is in despair whenever the
conversation turns on you; Livingston; and my brother。 However; he
says neither good nor ill of absent people; but; on the contrary; he
always avoids speaking of them。 His father keeps to the house: I
have not seen him yet。 A number of the Hamiltons are here; and
accompany me everywhere; all the friends of the other one follow me
each time I go to see him。 He has begged me to be at his rising to…
morrow。 My messenger will tell you the rest。
〃Burn my letter: there would be danger in keeping it。 Besides; it is
hardly worth the trouble; being filled only with dark thoughts。
〃As for you; do not be offended if I am sad and uneasy to…day; that
to please you I rise above honour; remorse; and dangers。 Do not take
in bad part what I tell you; and do not listen to the malicious
explanations of your wife's brother; he is a knave whom you ought not
to hear to the prejudice of the most tender and most faithful
mistress that ever was。 Above all; do not allow yourself to be moved
by that woman: her sham tears are nothing in comparison with the real
tears that I shed; and with what love and constancy make me suffer at
succeeding her; it is for that alone that in spite of myself I betray
all those who could cross my love。 God have mercy on me; and send
you all the prosperity that a humble and tender friend who awaits
from you soon another reward wishes you。 It is very late; but it is
always with regret that I lay down my pen when I write to you;
however; I shall not end my letter until I shall have kissed your
hands。 Forgive me that it is so ill…written: perhaps I do so
expressly that you may be obliged to re…read it several times: I have
transcribed hastily what I had written down on my tablets; and my
paper has given out。 Remember a tender friend; and write to her
often: love me as tenderly as I love you; and remember
Madame de Rere's words;
The English;
His mother;
The Earl of Argyll;
The Earl of Bothwell;
The Edinburgh dwelling。〃
SECOND LETTER
〃It seems that you have forgotten me during your absence; so much the
more that you had promised me; at setting out; to let me know in
detail everything fresh that should happen。 The hope of receiving
your news was giving me almost as much delight as your return could
have brought me: you have put it off longer than you promised me。 As
for me; although you do not write; I play my part always。 I shall
take him to Craigmiller on Monday; and he will spend the whole of
Wednesday there。 On that day I shall go to Edinburgh to be bled
there; unless you arrange otherwise at least。 He is more cheerful
than usual; and he is better than ever。
He says everything he can to persuade me that he loves me; he has a
thousand attentions for me; and he anticipates me in everything: all
that is so pleasant for me; that I never go to him but the pain in my
side comes on again; his company weighs on me so much。 If Paris
brought me what I asked him; I should be soon cured。 If you have not
yet returned when I go you know where; write to me; I beg you; and
tell me what you wish me to do; for if you do not manage things
prudently; I foresee that the whole burden will fall on me: look into
everything and weigh the affair maturely。 I send you my letter by
Beaton; who will set out the day which has been assigned to Balfour。
It only remains for me to beg you to inform me of your journey。
〃Glasgow; this Saturday morning。〃
THIRD LETTER
〃I stayed you know where longer than I should have done; if it had
not been to get from him something that the bearer of these presents
will tell you it was a good opportunity for covering up our designs:
I have promised him to bring the person you know to…morrow。 Look
after the rest; if you think fit。 Alas! I have failed in our
agreement; for you have forbidden me to write to you; or to despatch
a messenger to you。 However; I do not intend to offend you: if you
knew with what fears I am agitated; you would not have yourself so
many doubts and suspicions。 But I take them in good part; persuaded
as I am that they have no other cause than lovelove that I esteem
more than anything on earth。
〃My feelings and my favours are to me sure warrants for that love;
and answer to me for your heart; my trust is entire on this h