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第11章

mary stuart-第11章

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     The…state of my house;

     The people of my suite;

     Subject of my arrival;

     Joseph;

     Conversation between him and me;

     His desire to please me and his repentance;

     The explanation of his letter;

     Mr。 Livingston。



〃Ah! I was forgetting that。  Yesterday Livingston during supper told

de Rere in a low voice to drink to the health of one I knew well; and

to beg me to do him the honour。  After supper; as I was leaning on

his shoulder near the fire; he said to me; 'Is it not true that there

are visits very agreeable for those who pay them and those who

receive them?  But; however satisfied they seem with your arrival; I

challenge their delight to equal the grief of one whom you have left

alone to…day; and who will never be content till he sees you again。'

I asked him of whom he wished to speak to me。  He then answered me by

pressing my arm: 'Of one of those who have not followed you; and

among those it is easy for you to guess of whom I want to speak。'



〃I have worked till two o'clock at the bracelet; I have enclosed a

little key which is attached by two strings: it is not as well worked

as I should like; but I have not had time to make it better; I will

make you a finer one on the first occasion。  Take care that it is not

seen on you; for I have worked at it before everyone; and it would be

recognised to a certainty。



〃I always return; in spite of myself; to the frightful attempt that

you advise。  You compel me to concealments; and above all to

treacheries that make me shudder; I would rather die; believe me;

than do such things; for it makes my heart bleed。  He does not want

to follow me unless I promise him to have the selfsame bed and board

with him as before; and not to abandon him so often。  If I consent to

it; he says he will do all I wish; and will follow me everywhere; but

he has begged me to put off my departure for two days。  I have

pretended to agree to all he wishes; but I have told him not to speak

of our reconciliation to anyone; for fear it should make some lords

uneasy。  At last I shall take him everywhere I wish。。。。  Alas! I have

never deceived anyone; but what would I not do to please you?

Command; and whatever happens; I shall obey。  But see yourself if one

could not contrive some secret means in the shape of a remedy。  He

must purge himself at Craigmiller and take baths there; he will be

some days without going out。  So far as I can see; he is very uneasy;

but he has great trust in what I tell him: however; his confidence

does not go so far as to allow him to open his mind to me。  If you

like; I will tell him every thing: I can have no pleasure in

deceiving someone who is trusting。  However; it will be just as you

wish: do not esteem me the less for that。  It is you advised it;

never would vengeance have taken me so far。  Sometimes he attacks me

in a very sensitive place; and he touches me to the quick when he

tells me that his crimes are known; but that every day greater ones

are committed that one uselessly attempts to hide; since all crimes;

whatsoever they be; great or small; come to men's knowledge and form

the common subject of their discourse。  He adds sometimes; in

speaking to me of Madame de Rere; 'I wish her services may do you

honour。'  He has assured me that many people thought; and that he

thought himself; that I was not my own mistress; this is doubtless

because I had rejected the conditions he offered me。  Finally; it is

certain that he is very uneasy about you know what; and that he even

suspects that his life is aimed at。  He is in despair whenever the

conversation turns on you; Livingston; and my brother。  However; he

says neither good nor ill of absent people; but; on the contrary; he

always avoids speaking of them。  His father keeps to the house: I

have not seen him yet。  A number of the Hamiltons are here; and

accompany me everywhere; all the friends of the other one follow me

each time I go to see him。  He has begged me to be at his rising to…

morrow。  My messenger will tell you the rest。



〃Burn my letter: there would be danger in keeping it。  Besides; it is

hardly worth the trouble; being filled only with dark thoughts。



〃As for you; do not be offended if I am sad and uneasy to…day; that

to please you I rise above honour; remorse; and dangers。  Do not take

in bad part what I tell you; and do not listen to the malicious

explanations of your wife's brother; he is a knave whom you ought not

to hear to the prejudice of the most tender and most faithful

mistress that ever was。  Above all; do not allow yourself to be moved

by that woman: her sham tears are nothing in comparison with the real

tears that I shed; and with what love and constancy make me suffer at

succeeding her; it is for that alone that in spite of myself I betray

all those who could cross my love。  God have mercy on me; and send

you all the prosperity that a humble and tender friend who awaits

from you soon another reward wishes you。  It is very late; but it is

always with regret that I lay down my pen when I write to you;

however; I shall not end my letter until I shall have kissed your

hands。  Forgive me that it is so ill…written: perhaps I do so

expressly that you may be obliged to re…read it several times: I have

transcribed hastily what I had written down on my tablets; and my

paper has given out。  Remember a tender friend; and write to her

often: love me as tenderly as I love you; and remember



     Madame de Rere's words;

     The English;

     His mother;

     The Earl of Argyll;

     The Earl of Bothwell;

     The Edinburgh dwelling。〃





SECOND LETTER



〃It seems that you have forgotten me during your absence; so much the

more that you had promised me; at setting out; to let me know in

detail everything fresh that should happen。  The hope of receiving

your news was giving me almost as much delight as your return could

have brought me: you have put it off longer than you promised me。  As

for me; although you do not write; I play my part always。  I shall

take him to Craigmiller on Monday; and he will spend the whole of

Wednesday there。  On that day I shall go to Edinburgh to be bled

there; unless you arrange otherwise at least。  He is more cheerful

than usual; and he is better than ever。



He says everything he can to persuade me that he loves me; he has a

thousand attentions for me; and he anticipates me in everything: all

that is so pleasant for me; that I never go to him but the pain in my

side comes on again; his company weighs on me so much。  If Paris

brought me what I asked him; I should be soon cured。  If you have not

yet returned when I go you know where; write to me; I beg you; and

tell me what you wish me to do; for if you do not manage things

prudently; I foresee that the whole burden will fall on me: look into

everything and weigh the affair maturely。  I send you my letter by

Beaton; who will set out the day which has been assigned to Balfour。

It only remains for me to beg you to inform me of your journey。



〃Glasgow; this Saturday morning。〃





THIRD LETTER



〃I stayed you know where longer than I should have done; if it had

not been to get from him something that the bearer of these presents

will tell you it was a good opportunity for covering up our designs:

I have promised him to bring the person you know to…morrow。  Look

after the rest; if you think fit。  Alas! I have failed in our

agreement; for you have forbidden me to write to you; or to despatch

a messenger to you。  However; I do not intend to offend you: if you

knew with what fears I am agitated; you would not have yourself so

many doubts and suspicions。  But I take them in good part; persuaded

as I am that they have no other cause than lovelove that I esteem

more than anything on earth。



〃My feelings and my favours are to me sure warrants for that love;

and answer to me for your heart; my trust is entire on this h

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