man and superman-第11章

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be　lost　without　a　sense　of　humor。

Just　at　present　the　sense　of　humor　is　in　abeyance。　To　say　that　he
is　excited　is　nothing：　all　his　moods　are　phases　of　excitement。　He
is　now　in　the　panic…stricken　phase；　and　he　walks　straight　up　to
Ramsden　as　if　with　the　fixed　intention　of　shooting　him　on　his　own
hearthrug。　But　what　he　pulls　from　his　breast　pocket　is　not　a
pistol；　but　a　foolscap　document　which　he　thrusts　under　the
indignant　nose　of　Ramsden　as　he　exclaims

TANNER。　Ramsden：　do　you　know　what　that　is？

RAMSDEN。　＇loftily＇　No；　Sir。

TANNER。　It's　a　copy　of　Whitefield's　will。　Ann　got　it　this
morning。

RAMSDEN。　When　you　say　Ann；　you　mean；　I　presume；　Miss　Whitefield。

TANNER。　I　mean　our　Ann；　your　Ann；　Tavy's　Ann；　and　now；　Heaven
help　me；　my　Ann！

OCTAVIUS。　＇rising；　very　pale＇　What　do　you　mean？

TANNER。　Mean！　＇He　holds　up　the　will＇。　Do　you　know　who　is
appointed　Ann's　guardian　by　this　will？

RAMSDEN。　＇coolly＇　I　believe　I　am。

TANNER。　You！　You　and　I；　man。　I！　I！！　I！！！　Both　of　us！　＇He　flings
the　will　down　on　the　writing　table＇。

RAMSDEN。　You！　Impossible。

TANNER。　It's　only　too　hideously　true。　＇He　throws　himself　into
Octavius's　chair＇。　Ramsden：　get　me　out　of　it　somehow。　You　don't
know　Ann　as　well　as　I　do。　She'll　commit　every　crime　a　respectable
woman　can；　and　she'll　justify　every　one　of　them　by　saying　that　it
was　the　wish　of　her　guardians。　She'll　put　everything　on　us；　and
we　shall　have　no　more　control　over　her　than　a　couple　of　mice　over
a　cat。

OCTAVIUS。　Jack：　I　wish　you　wouldn't　talk　like　that　about　Ann。

TANNER。　This　chap's　in　love　with　her：　that's　another
complication。　Well；　she'll　either　jilt　him　and　say　I　didn't
approve　of　him；　or　marry　him　and　say　you　ordered　her　to。　I　tell
you；　this　is　the　most　staggering　blow　that　has　ever　fallen　on　a
man　of　my　age　and　temperament。

RAMSDEN。　Let　me　see　that　will；　sir。　＇He　goes　to　the　writing　table
and　picks　it　up＇。　I　cannot　believe　that　my　old　friend　Whitefield
would　have　shown　such　a　want　of　confidence　in　me　as　to　associate
me　with　　＇His　countenance　falls　as　he　reads＇。

TANNER。　It's　all　my　own　doing：　that's　the　horrible　irony　of　it。
He　told　me　one　day　that　you　were　to　be　Ann's　guardian；　and　like　a
fool　I　began　arguing　with　him　about　the　folly　of　leaving　a　young
woman　under　the　control　of　an　old　man　with　obsolete　ideas。

RAMSDEN。　＇stupended＇　My　ideas　obsolete！！！！！

TANNER。　Totally。　I　had　just　finished　an　essay　called　Down　with
Government　by　the　Greyhaired；　and　I　was　full　of　arguments　and
illustrations。　I　said　the　proper　thing　was　to　combine　the
experience　of　an　old　hand　with　the　vitality　of　a　young　one。　Hang
me　if　he　didn't　take　me　at　my　word　and　alter　his　willit's
dated　only　a　fortnight　after　that　conversationappointing　me　as
joint　guardian　with　you！

RAMSDEN。　＇pale　and　determined＇　I　shall　refuse　to　act。

TANNER。　What's　the　good　of　that？　I've　been　refusing　all　the　way
from　Richmond；　but　Ann　keeps　on　saying　that　of　course　she's　only
an　orphan；　and　that　she　can't　expect　the　people　who　were　glad　to
come　to　the　house　in　her　father's　time　to　trouble　much　about　her
now。　That's　the　latest　game。　An　orphan！　It's　like　hearing　an
ironclad　talk　about　being　at　the　mercy　of　the　winds　and　waves。

OCTAVIUS。　This　is　not　fair；　Jack。　She　is　an　orphan。　And　you　ought
to　stand　by　her。

TANNER。　Stand　by　her！　What　danger　is　she　in？　She　has　the　law　on
her　side；　she　has　popular　sentiment　on　her　side；　she　has　plenty
of　money　and　no　conscience。　All　she　wants　with　me　is　to　load　up
all　her　moral　responsibilities　on　me；　and　do　as　she　likes　at　the
expense　of　my　character。　I　can't　control　her；　and　she　can
compromise　me　as　much　as　she　likes。　I　might　as　well　be　her
husband。

RAMSDEN。　You　can　refuse　to　accept　the　guardianship。　I　shall
certainly　refuse　to　hold　it　jointly　with　you。

TANNER。　Yes；　and　what　will　she　say　to　that？　what　does　she　say
to　it？　Just　that　her　father's　wishes　are　sacred　to　her；　and　that
she　shall　always　look　up　to　me　as　her　guardian　whether　I　care　to
face　the　responsibility　or　not。　Refuse！　You　might　as　well　refuse
to　accept　the　embraces　of　a　boa　constrictor　when　once　it　gets
round　your　neck。

OCTAVIUS。　This　sort　of　talk　is　not　kind　to　me；　Jack。

TANNER。　＇rising　and　going　to　Octavius　to　console　him；　but　still
lamenting＇　If　he　wanted　a　young　guardian；　why　didn't　he　appoint
Tavy？

RAMSDEN。　Ah！　why　indeed？

OCTAVIUS。　I　will　tell　you。　He　sounded　me　about　it；　but　I　refused
the　trust　because　I　loved　her。　I　had　no　right　to　let　myself　be
forced　on　her　as　a　guardian　by　her　father。　He　spoke　to　her　about
it；　and　she　said　I　was　right。　You　know　I　love　her；　Mr　Ramsden；
and　Jack　knows　it　too。　If　Jack　loved　a　woman；　I　would　not　compare
her　to　a　boa　constrictor　in　his　presence；　however　much　I　might
dislike　her　＇he　sits　down　between　the　busts　and　turns　his　face　to
the　wall＇。

RAMSDEN。　I　do　not　believe　that　Whitefield　was　in　his　right　senses
when　he　made　that　will。　You　have　admitted　that　he　made　it　under
your　influence。

TANNER。　You　ought　to　be　pretty　well　obliged　to　me　for　my
influence。　He　leaves　you　two　thousand　five　hundred　for　your
trouble。　He　leaves　Tavy　a　dowry　for　his　sister　and　five　thousand
for　himself。

OCTAVIUS。　＇his　tears　flowing　afresh＇　Oh；　I　can't　take　it。　He　was
too　good　to　us。

TANNER。　You　won't　get　it；　my　boy；　if　Ramsden　upsets　the　will。

RAMSDEN。　Ha！　I　see。　You　have　got　me　in　a　cleft　stick。

TANNER。　He　leaves　me　nothing　but　the　charge　of　Ann's　morals；　on
the　ground　that　I　have　already　more　money　than　is　good　for　me。
That　shows　that　he　had　his　wits　about　him；　doesn't　it？

RAMSDEN。　＇grimly＇　I　admit　that。

OCTAVIUS。　＇rising　and　coming　from　his　refuge　by　the　wall＇　Mr
Ramsden：　I　think　you　are　prejudiced　against　Jack。　He　is　a　man　of
honor；　and　incapable　of　abusing

TANNER。　Don't；　Tavy：　you'll　make　me　ill。　I　am　not　a　man　of　honor：
I　am　a　man　struck　down　by　a　dead　hand。　Tavy：　you　must　marry　her
after　all　and　take　her　off　my　hands。　And　I　had　set　my　heart　on
saving　you　from　her！

OCTAVIUS。　Oh；　Jack；　you　talk　of　saving　me　from　my　highest
happiness。

TANNER。　Yes；　a　lifetime　of　happiness。　If　it　were　only　the　first
half　hour's　happiness；　Tavy；　I　would　buy　it　for　you　with　my　last
penny。　But　a　lifetime　of　happiness！　No　man　alive　could　bear　it：
it　would　be　hell　on　earth。

RAMSDEN。　＇violently＇　Stuff；　sir。　Talk　sense；　or　else　go　and　waste
someone　else's　time：　I　have　something　better　to　do　than　listen　to
your　fooleries　＇he　positively　kicks　his　way　to　his　table　and
resumes　his　seat＇。

TANNER。　You　hear　him；　Tavy！　Not　an　idea　in　his　head　later　than
eighteen…sixty。　We　can't　leave　Ann　with　no　other　guardian　to　turn
to。

RAMSDEN。　I　am　proud　of　your　contempt　for　my　character　and
opinions；　sir。　Your　own　are　set　forth　in　that　book；　I　believe。

TANNER。　＇eagerly　going　to　the　table＇　What！　You've　got　my　book！
What　do　you　think　of　it？

RAMSDEN。　Do　you　suppose　I　would　read　such　a　book；　sir？

TANNER。　Then　why　did　you　buy　it？

RAMSDEN。　I　did　not　buy　it；　sir。　It　has　been　sent　me　by　some
foolish　lady　who　seems　to　admire　your　views。　I　was　about　to
dispose　of　it　when　Octavius　interrupted　me。　I　shall　do　so　now；
with　your　permission。　＇He　throws　the　book　into　the　waste　paper
basket　with　such　vehemence　that　Tanner　recoils　under　the
impression　that　it　is　being　thrown　at　his　head＇。

TANNER。　You　have　no　more　manners　than　I　have　myself。　However；
that　saves　ceremony　between　us。　＇He　sits　down　again＇。　What　do　you
intend　to　do　about　this　will？

OCTAVIUS。　May　I　make　a　suggestion？

RAMSDEN。　Certainly；　Octavius。

OCTAVIUS。　Aren't　we　forgetting　that　Ann　herself　may　have　some
wishes　in　this　matter？

RAMSDEN。　I　quite　intend　that　Annie's　wishes　shall　be　consulted　in
every　reasonable　way。　But　she　is　only　a　woman；　and　a　young　and
inexperienced　woman　at　that。

TANNER。　Ramsden：　I　begin　to　pity　you。

RAMSDEN。　＇hotly＇　I　don't　want　to　know　how　you　feel　towards　me；　Mr
Tanner。

TANNER。　Ann　will　do　just　exactly　what　she　likes。　And　what's　more；
she'll　force　us　to　advise　her　to　do　it；　and　she'll　put　the　blame
on　us　if　it　turns　out　badly。　So；　as　Tavy　is　longing　to　see　her

OCTAVIUS。　＇shyly＇　I　am　not；　Jack。

TANNER。　You　lie；　Tavy：　you　are。　So　let's　have　her　down　from　the
drawing…room　and　ask　her