the call of the canyon-第43章

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ght　of　war　is　torturing。〃

Carley　found　her　return　train　somewhat　late；　and　she　took　advantage　of　the　delay　to　walk　out　to　the　wooded　headlands　above　the　Sound。

It　was　a　raw　March　day；　with　a　steely　sun　going　down　in　a　pale…gray　sky。　Patches　of　snow　lingered　in　sheltered　brushy　places。　This　bit　of　woodland　had　a　floor　of　soft　sand　that　dragged　at　Carley's　feet。　There　were　sere　and　brown　leaves　still　fluttering　on　the　scrub…oaks。　At　length　Carley　came　out　on　the　edge　of　the　bluff　with　the　gray　expanse　of　seat　beneath　her；　and　a　long　wandering　shore　line；　ragged　with　wreckage　or　driftwood。　The　surge　of　water　rolled　ina　long；　low；　white；　creeping　line　that　softly　roared　on　the　beach　and　dragged　the　pebbles　gratingly　back。　There　was　neither　boat　nor　living　creature　in　sight。

Carley　felt　the　scene　ease　a　clutching　hand　within　her　breast。　Here　was　loneliness　and　solitude　vastly　different　from　that　of　Oak　Creek　Canyon；　yet　it　held　the　same　intangible　power　to　soothe。　The　swish　of　the　surf；　the　moan　of　the　wind　in　the　evergreens；　were　voices　that　called　to　her。　How　many　more　miles　of　lonely　land　than　peopled　cities！　Then　the　sea…how　vast！　And　over　that　the　illimitable　and　infinite　sky；　and　beyond；　the　endless　realms　of　space。　It　helped　her　somehow　to　see　and　hear　and　feel　the　eternal　presence　of　nature。　In　communion　with　nature　the　significance　of　life　might　be　realized。　She　remembered　Glenn　quoting：　〃The　world　is　too　much　with　us。　。　。　。　Getting　and　spending；　we　lay　waste　our　powers。〃　What　were　our　powers？　What　did　God　intend　men　to　do　with　hands　and　bodies　and　gifts　and　souls？　She　gazed　back　over　the　bleak　land　and　then　out　across　the　broad　sea。　Only　a　millionth　part　of　the　surface　of　the　unsubmerged　earth　knew　the　populous　abodes　of　man。　And　the　lonely　sea；　inhospitable　to　stable　homes　of　men；　was　thrice　the　area　of　the　land。　Were　men　intended；　then；　to　congregate　in　few　places；　to　squabble　and　to　bicker　and　breed　the　discontents　that　led　to　injustice；　hatred；　and　war？　What　a　mystery　it　all　was！　But　Nature　was　neither　false　nor　little；　however　cruel　she　might　be。


Once　again　Carley　fell　under　the　fury　of　her　ordeal。　Wavering　now；　restless　and　sleepless；　given　to　violent　starts　and　slow　spells　of　apathy；　she　was　wearing　to　defeat。

That　spring　day；　one　year　from　the　day　she　had　left　New　York　for　Arizona；　she　wished　to　spend　alone。　But　her　thoughts　grew　unbearable。　She　summed　up　the　endless　year。　Could　she　live　another　like　it？　Something　must　break　within　her。

She　went　out。　The　air　was　warm　and　balmy；　carrying　that　subtle　current　which　caused　the　mild　madness　of　spring　fever。　In　the　Park　the　greening　of　the　grass；　the　opening　of　buds；　the　singing　of　birds；　the　gladness　of　children；　the　light　on　the　water；　the　warm　sunall　seemed　to　reproach　her。　Carley　fled　from　the　Park　to　the　home　of　Beatrice　Lovell；　and　there；　unhappily；　she　encountered　those　of　her　acquaintance　with　whom　she　had　least　patience。　They　forced　her　to　think　too　keenly　of　herself。　They　appeared　carefree　while　she　was　miserable。

Over　teacups　there　were　waging　gossip　and　argument　and　criticism。　When　Carley　entered　with　Beatrice　there　was　a　sudden　hush　and　then　a　murmur。

〃Hello；　Carley！　Now　say　it　to　our　faces；〃　called　out　Geralda　Conners；　a　fair；　handsome　young　woman　of　thirty；　exquisitely　gowned　in　the　latest　mode；　and　whose　brilliantly　tinted　complexion　was　not　the　natural　one　of　health。

〃Say　what；　Geralda？〃　asked　Carley。　〃I　certainly　would　not　say　anything　behind　your　backs　that　I　wouldn't　repeat　here。〃

〃Eleanor　has　been　telling　us　how　you　simply　burned　us　up。〃

〃We　did　have　an　argument。　And　I'm　not　sure　I　said　all　I　wanted　to。〃

〃Say　the　rest　here；〃　drawled　a　lazy；　mellow　voice。　〃For　Heaven's　sake；　stir　us　up。　If　I　could　get　a　kick　out　of　anything　I'd　bless　it。〃

〃Carley；　go　on　the　stage；〃　advised　another。　〃You've　got　Elsie　Ferguson　tied　to　the　mast　for　looks。　And　lately　you're　surely　tragic　enough。〃

〃I　wish　you'd　go　somewhere　far　off！〃　observed　a　third。　〃My　husband　is　dippy　about　you。〃

〃Girls；　do　you　know　that　you　actually　have　not　one　sensible　idea　in　your　heads？〃　retorted　Carley。

〃Sensible？　I　should　hope　not。　Who　wants　to　be　sensible？〃

Geralda　battered　her　teacup　on　a　saucer。　〃Listen；〃　she　called。　〃I　wasn't　kidding　Carley。　I　am　good　and　sore。　She　goes　around　knocking　everybody　and　saying　New　York　backs　Sodom　off　the　boards。　I　want　her　to　come　out　with　it　right　here。〃

〃I　dare　say　I've　talked　too　much；〃　returned　Carley。　〃It's　been　a　rather　hard　winter　on　me。　Perhaps；　indeed；　I've　tried　the　patience　of　my　friends。〃

〃See　here；　Carley；〃　said　Geralda；　deliberately；　〃just　because　you've　had　life　turn　to　bitter　ashes　in　your　mouth　you've　no　right　to　poison　it　for　us。　We　all　find　it　pretty　sweet。　You're　an　unsatisfied　woman　and　if　you　don't　marry　somebody　you'll　end　by　being　a　reformer　or　fanatic。〃

〃I'd　rather　end　that　way　than　rot　in　a　shell；〃　retorted　Carley。

〃I　declare；　you　make　me　see　red；　Carley；〃　flashed　Geralda；　angrily。　〃No　wonder　Morrison　roasts　you　to　everybody。　He　says　Glenn　Kilbourne　threw　you　down　for　some　Western　girl。　If　that's　true　it's　pretty　small　of　you　to　vent　your　spleen　on　us。〃

Carley　felt　the　gathering　of　a　mighty　resistless　force；　But　Geralda　Conners　was　nothing　to　her　except　the　target　for　a　thunderbolt。

〃I　have　no　spleen；〃　she　replied；　with　a　dignity　of　passion。　〃I　have　only　pity。　I　was　as　blind　as　you。　If　heartbreak　tore　the　scales　from　my　eyes；　perhaps　that　is　well　for　me。　For　I　see　something　terribly　wrong　in　myself；　in　you；　in　all　of　us；　in　the　life　of　today。〃

〃You　keep　your　pity　to　yourself。　You　need　it；〃　answered　Geralda；　with　heat。　〃There's　nothing　wrong　with　me　or　my　friends　or　life　in　good　old　New　York。〃

〃Nothing　wrong！〃　cried　Carley。　〃Listen。　Nothing　wrong　in　you　or　life　today…nothing　for　you　women　to　make　right？　You　are　blind　as　batsas　dead　to　living　truth　as　if　you　were　buried。　Nothing　wrong　when　thousands　of　crippled　soldiers　have　no　homesno　moneyno　friendsno　workin　many　cases　no　food　or　bed？　。　。　。　Splendid　young　men　who　went　away　in　their　prime　to　fight　for　you　and　came　back　ruined；　suffering！　Nothing　wrong　when　sane　women　with　the　vote　might　rid　politics　of　partisanship；　greed；　crookedness？　Nothing　wrong　when　prohibition　is　mocked　by　womenwhen　the　greatest　boon　ever　granted　this　country　is　derided　and　beaten　down　and　cheated？　Nothing　wrong　when　there　are　half　a　million　defective　children　in　this　city？　Nothing　wrong　when　there　are　not　enough　schools　and　teachers　to　educate　our　boys　and　girls；　when　those　teachers　are　shamefully　underpaid？　Nothing　wrong　when　the　mothers　of　this　great　country　let　their　youngsters　go　to　the　dark。　motion　picture　halls　and　night　after　night　in　thousands　of　towns　over　all　this　broad　land　see　pictures　that　the　juvenile　court　and　the　educators　and　keepers　of　reform　schools　say　make　burglars；　crooks；　and　murderers　of　our　boys　and　vampires　of　our　girls？　Nothing　wrong　when　these　young　adolescent　girls　ape　you　and　wear　stockings　rolled　under　their　knees　below　their　skirts　and　use　a　lip　stick　and　paint　their　faces　and　darken　their　eyes　and　pluck　their　eyebrows　and　absolutely　do　not　know　what　shame　is？　Nothing　wrong　when　you　may　find　in　any　city　women　standing　at　street　corners　distributing　booklets　on　birth　control？　Nothing　wrong　when　great　magazines　print　no　page　or　picture　without　its　sex　appeal？　Nothing　wrong　when　the　automobile；　so　convenient　for　the　innocent　little　run　out　of　town；　presents　the　greatest　evil　that　ever　menaced　American　girls！　Nothing　wrong　when　money　is　godwhen　luxury；　pleasure；　excitement；　speed　are　the　striven　for？　Nothing　wrong　when　some　of　your　husbands　spend　more　of　their　time　with　other　women　than　with　you？　Nothing　wrong　with　jazzwhere　the　lights　go　out　in　the　dance　hall　and　the　dancers。　jiggle　and　toddle　and　wiggle　in　a　frenzy？　Nothing　wrong　in　a　country　where　the　greatest　college　cannot　report　birth　of　one　child　to　each　graduate　in　ten　years？　Nothing　wrong　with　race　suicide　and　the　incoming　horde　of　foreigners？　。　。　。　Nothing　wrong　with　you　women　who　cannot　or　will　not　stand　childbirth？　Nothing　wrong　with　most　of　you；　when　if　you　did　have　a　child；　you　could　not　nurse　it？　。　。　。　Oh；　my　God；　there's　nothing　wrong　with　America　exc