the lost road-第10章
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nigger； marine； anybodyand if he can knock me out I'll stop
drinking。 You see；〃 he explained patiently； 〃I'm no mollycoddle
or jelly…fish。 I can afford a headache。 And besides； it's my own
head。 If I don't give anybody else a headache； I don't see that it's
anybody else's damned business。〃
〃But you do；〃 retorted Haldane steadily。 〃You're giving your own
men worse than a headache； you're setting them a rotten example；
you're giving the Thirty…third a bad name…〃
Aintree vaulted off his cot and shook his fist at his friend。
〃You can't say that to me；〃 he cried。
〃I do say it；〃 protested Haldane。 〃When you were in Manila your
men were models； here they're unshaven； sloppy； undisciplined。
They look like bell…hops。 And it's your fault。 And everybody
thinks so。〃
Slowly and carefully Aintree snapped his fingers。
〃And you can tell everybody； from me；〃 he cried； 〃that's all I care
what they think！ And now；〃 he continued； smiling hospitably； 〃let
me congratulate you on your success as a missionary； and； to show
you there's not a trace of hard feeling； we will have a drink。〃
Informally Haldane reported back to the commission； and the wife
of one of them must have talked； for it was soon known that a
brother officer had appealed to Aintree to reform； and Aintree
had refused to listen。
When she heard this； Grace Carter； the wife of Major Carter； one
of the surgeons at the Ancon Hospital； was greatly perturbed。
Aintree was engaged to be married to Helen Scott； who was her
best friend and who was arriving by the next steamer to spend the
winter。 When she had Helen safely under her roof； Mrs。 Carter had
planned to marry off the young couple out of hand on the isthmus。
But she had begun to wonder if it would not be better they should
delay； or best that they should never marry。
〃The awakening is going to be a terrible blow to Helen；〃 she said
to her husband。 〃She is so proud of him。〃
〃On the contrary；〃 he protested； 〃it will be the awakening of
Aintreeif Helen will stand for the way he's acting； she is not
the girl I know。 And when he finds she won't； and that he may lose
her； he'll pull up short。 He's talked Helen to me night after
night until he's bored me so I could strangle him。 He cares more
for her than he does for anything； for the army； or for himself；
and that's saying a great deal。 One word from her will be enough。〃
Helen spoke the word three weeks after she arrived。 It had not
been necessary to tell her of the manner in which her lover was
misconducting himself。 At various dinners given in their honor
he had made a nuisance of himself； on another occasion； while in
uniform； he had created a scene in the dining…room of the Tivoli
under the prying eyes of three hundred seeing…the…Canal tourists；
and one night he had so badly beaten up a cabman who had laughed
at his condition that the man went to the hospital。 Major Carter；
largely with money； had healed the injuries of the cabman； but
Helen； who had witnessed the assault； had suffered an injury that
money could not heal。
She sent for Aintree； and at the home of her friend delivered
her ultimatum。
〃I hit him because he was offensive to you；〃 said Aintree。 〃That's
why I hit him。 If I'd not had a drink in a year； I'd have hit him
just as quick and just as hard。〃
〃Can't you see；〃 said the girl； 〃that in being not yourself when
I was in your care you were much more insulting to me than any
cabman could possibly be？ When you are like that you have no
respect for me； or for yourself。 Part of my pride in you is that
you are so strong； that you control yourself； that common
pleasures never get a hold on you。 If you couldn't control your
temper I wouldn't blame you； because you've a villainous temper
and you were born with it。 But you weren't born with a taste for
liquor。 None of your people drank。 You never drank until you went
into the army。 If I were a man；〃 declared the girl； 〃I'd be ashamed
to admit anything was stronger than I was。 You never let pain beat
you。 I've seen you play polo with a broken arm； but in this you give
pain to others； you shame and humiliate the one you pretend to love；
just because you are weak； just because you can't say 'no。'〃
Aintree laughed angrily。
〃Drink has no hold on me；〃 he protested。 〃It affects me as much as the
lights and the music affect a girl at her first dance； and no more。 But；
if you ask me to stop〃
〃I do not！〃 said the girl。 〃If you stop； you'll stop not because
I have any influence over you； but because you don't need my
influence。 If it's wrong； if it's hurting you； if it's taking away
your usefulness and your power for good； that's why you'll stop。
Not because a girl begs you。 Or you're not the man I think you。〃
Aintree retorted warmly。 〃I'm enough of a man for this；〃 he
protested： 〃I'm enough of a man not to confess I can't drink
without making a beast of myself。 It's easy not to drink at all。
But to stop altogether is a confession of weakness。 I'd look on
my doing that as cowardly。 I give you my wordnot that I'll swear
off； that I'll never dobut I promise you you'll have no further
reason to be what you call humiliated； or ashamed。 You have my
word for it。〃
A week later Aintree rode his pony into a railway cutting and
rolled with it to the tracks below； and； if at the time he had
not been extremely drunk； would have been killed。 The pony；
being quite sober； broke a leg and was destroyed。
When word of this came to Helen she was too sick at heart to see
Aintree； and by others it was made known to him that on the first
steamer Miss Scott would return North。 Aintree knew why she was
going； knew she had lost faith and patience； knew the woman he
loved had broken with him and put him out of her life。 Appalled
at this calamity； he proceeded to get drunk in earnest。
The night was very hot and the humidity very heavy； and at Las
Palmas inside the bungalow that served as a police…station the
lamps on either side of the lieutenant's desk burned like tiny
furnaces。 Between them； panting in the moist heat and with the
sweat from his forehead and hand dripping upon an otherwise
immaculate report； sat Standish。 Two weeks before； the chief had
made him one of his six lieutenants。 With the force the promotion
had been most popular。
Since his promotion Standish had been in charge of the police…
station at Las Palmas and daily had seen Aintree as； on his way
down the hill from the barracks to the railroad； the hero of
Batangas passed the door of the station…house。 Also； on the
morning Aintree had jumped his horse over the embankment；
Standish had seen him carried up the hill on a stretcher。 At the
sight the lieutenant of police had taken from his pocket a notebook；
and on a flyleaf made a cross。 On the flyleaf were many other dates
and opposite each a cross。 It was Aintree's record and as the number
of black crosses grew； the greater had grown the resentment of Standish；
the more greatly it had increased his anger against the man who had put
this affront upon the army； the greater became his desire to punish。
In police circles the night had been quiet； the cells in the yard
were empty； the telephone at his elbow had remained silent； and
Standish； alone in the station…house； had employed himself in
cramming 〃Moss's Manual for Subalterns。〃 He found it a fascinating
exercise。 The hope that soon he might himself be a subaltern
always burned brightly； and to be prepared seemed to make the
coming of that day more certain。 It was ten o'clock and Las Palmas
lay sunk in slumber； and after the down train which was now due
had passed； there was nothing likely to disturb her slumber until
at sunrise the great army of dirt…diggers with shrieks of whistles；
with roars of dynamite； with the rumbling of dirt…trains and
steam…shovels； again sprang to the attack。 Down the hill； a
hundred yards below Standish； the night train halted at the
station； with creakings and groanings continued toward Colon；
and again Las Palmas returned to sleep。
And； then； quickly and viciously； like the crack of a mule…w
