jane eyre(简·爱)-第7章
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and so can papa and mama： they know how you shut me up all day long；
and how you wish me dead。'
Mrs。 Reed soon rallied her spirits： she shook me most soundly；
she boxed both my ears； and then left me without a word。 Bessie
supplied the hiatus by a homily of an hour's length； in which she
proved beyond a doubt that I was the most wicked and abandoned child
ever reared under a roof。 I half believed her； for I felt indeed
only bad feelings surging in my breast。
November； December； and half of January passed away。 Christmas
and the New Year had been celebrated at Gateshead with the usual
festive cheer； presents had been interchanged； dinners and evening
parties given。 From every enjoyment I was； of course； excluded： my
share of the gaiety consisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of
Eliza and Georgiana； and seeing them descend to the drawing…room；
dressed out in thin muslin frocks and scarlet sashes； with hair
elaborately ringleted； and afterwards； in listening to the sound of
the piano or the harp played below； to the passing to and fro of the
butler and footman； to the jingling of glass and china as refreshments
were handed； to the broken hum of conversation as the drawing…room
door opened and closed。 When tired of this occupation； I would
retire from the stair…head to the solitary and silent nursery：
there； though somewhat sad； I was not miserable。 To speak truth； I had
not the least wish to go into company； for in company I was very
rarely noticed； and if Bessie had but been kind and companionable； I
should have deemed it a treat to spend the evenings quietly with
her； instead of passing them under the formidable eye of Mrs。 Reed； in
a room full of ladies and gentlemen。 But Bessie； as soon as she had
dressed her young ladies； used to take herself off to the lively
regions of the kitchen and housekeeper's room； generally bearing the
candle along with her。 I then sat with my doll on my knee till the
fire got low； glancing round occasionally to make sure that nothing
worse than myself haunted the shadowy room； and when the embers sank
to a dull red； I undressed hastily； tugging at knots and strings as
I best might； and sought shelter from cold and darkness in my crib。 To
this crib I always took my doll； human beings must love something；
and； in the dearth of worthier objects of affection； I contrived to
find a pleasure in loving and cherishing a faded graven image；
shabby as a miniature scarecrow。 It puzzles me now to remember with
what absurd sincerity I doated on this little toy； half fancying it
alive and capable of sensation。 I could not sleep unless it was folded
in my night…gown； and when it lay there safe and warm； I was
comparatively happy； believing it to be happy likewise。
Long did the hours seem while I waited the departure of the
company； and listened for the sound of Bessie's step on the stairs：
sometimes she would come up in the interval to seek her thimble or her
scissors； or perhaps to bring me something by way of supper… a bun
or a cheese…cake… then she would sit on the bed while I ate it； and
when I had finished； she would tuck the clothes round me； and twice
she kissed me； and said； 'Good night； Miss Jane。' When thus gentle；
Bessie seemed to me the best； prettiest； kindest being in the world；
and I wished most intensely that she would always be so pleasant and
amiable； and never push me about； or scold； or task me unreasonably；
as she was too often wont to do。 Bessie； Lee must； I think； have
been a girl of good natural capacity； for she was smart in all she
did； and had a remarkable knack of narrative； so； at least； I judge
from the impression made on me by her nursery tales。 She was pretty
too； if my recollections of her face and person are correct。 I
remember her as a slim young woman； with black hair； dark eyes； very
nice features； and good； clear complexion； but she had a capricious
and hasty temper； and indifferent ideas of principle or justice：
still； such as she was； I preferred her to any one else at Gateshead
Hall。
It was the fifteenth of January； about nine o'clock in the morning：
Bessie was gone down to breakfast； my cousins had not yet been
summoned to their mama； Eliza was putting on her bonnet and warm
garden…coat to go and feed her poultry； an occupation of which she was
fond： and not less so of selling the eggs to the housekeeper and
hoarding up the money she thus obtained。 She had a turn for traffic；
and a marked propensity for saving； shown not only in the vending of
eggs and chickens； but also in driving hard bargains with the gardener
about flower…roots； seeds； and slips of plants； that functionary
having orders from Mrs。 Reed to buy of his young lady all the products
of her parterre she wished to sell： and Eliza would have sold the hair
off her head if she could have made a handsome profit thereby。 As to
her money； she first secreted it in odd corners； wrapped in a rag or
an old curl…paper； but some of these hoards having been discovered
by the housemaid； Eliza； fearful of one day losing her valued
treasure； consented to intrust it to her mother； at a usurious rate of
interest… fifty or sixty per cent。； which interest she exacted every
quarter； keeping her accounts in a little book with anxious accuracy。
Georgiana sat on a high stool； dressing her hair at the glass；
and interweaving her curls with artificial flowers and faded feathers；
of which she had found a store in a drawer in the attic。 I was
making my bed； having received strict orders from Bessie to get it
arranged before she returned； （for Bessie now frequently employed me
as a sort of under…nurserymaid； to tidy the room； dust the chairs；
etc。）。 Having spread the quilt and folded my night…dress； I went to
the window…seat to put in order some picture…books and doll's house
furniture scattered there； an abrupt command from Georgiana to let her
playthings alone （for the tiny chairs and mirrors； the fairy plates
and cups； were her property） stopped my proceedings； and then； for
lack of other occupation； I fell to breathing on the frost…flowers
with which the window was fretted； and thus clearing a space in the
glass through which I might look out on the grounds； where all was
still and petrified under the influence of a hard frost。
From this window were visible the porter's lodge and the
carriage…road； and just as I had dissolved so much of the silver…white
foliage veiling the panes as left room to look out； I saw the gates
thrown open and a carriage roll through。 I watched it ascending the
drive with indifference； carriages often came to Gateshead； but none
ever brought visitors in whom I was interested； it stopped in front of
the house； the door…bell rang loudly； the new…comer was admitted。
All this being nothing to me； my vacant attention soon found
livelier attraction in the spectacle of a little hungry robin； which
came and chirruped on the twigs of the leafless cherry…tree nailed
against the wall near the casement。 The remains of my breakfast of
bread and milk stood on the table； and having crumbled a morsel of
roll； I was tugging at the sash to put out the crumbs on the
window…sill； when Bessie came running upstairs into the nursery。
'Miss Jane； take off your pinafore； what are you doing there？
Have you washed your hands and face this morning？' I gave another
tug before I answered； for I wanted the bird to be secure of its
bread： the sash yielded； I scattered the crumbs； some on the stone
sill； some on the cherry…tree bough； then； closing the window； I
replied…
'No； Bessie； I have only just finished dusting。'
'Troublesome； careless child！ and what are you doing now？ You
look quite red； as if you have been about some mischief： what were you
opening the window for？'
I was spared the trouble of answering； for Bessie seemed in too
great a hurry to listen to explanations； she hauled me to the
washstand； inflicted a merciless； but happily brief scrub on my face
and hands with soap； water； and a coarse towel； disciplined my head
with a bristly brush； denuded me of my pi
