zanoni-第79章

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She　schooled　herself　to　suppress　her　fears　and　her　feelings。　　She

would　not　ask　his　confidence；she　sought　to　steal　into　it。　　By

little　and　little　she　felt　that　she　was　succeeding。　　Too　wrapped

in　his　own　strange　existence　to　be　acutely　observant　of　the

character　of　others；　Glyndon　mistook　the　self…content　of　a

generous　and　humble　affection　for　constitutional　fortitude；　and

this　quality　pleased　and　soothed　him。　　It　is　fortitude　that　the

diseased　mind　requires　in　the　confidant　whom　it　selects　as　its

physician。　　And　how　irresistible　is　that　desire　to　communicate！

How　often　the　lonely　man　thought　to　himself；　〃My　heart　would　be

lightened　of　its　misery；　if　once　confessed！〃　　He　felt；　too；　that

in　the　very　youth；　the　inexperience；　the　poetical　temperament　of

Adela；　he　could　find　one　who　would　comprehend　and　bear　with　him

better　than　any　sterner　and　more　practical　nature。　　Mervale　would

have　looked　on　his　revelations　as　the　ravings　of　madness；　and

most　men；　at　best；　as　the　sicklied　chimeras；　the　optical

delusions；　of　disease。　　Thus　gradually　preparing　himself　for　that

relief　for　which　he　yearned；　the　moment　for　his　disclosure

arrived　thus：



One　evening；　as　they　sat　alone　together；　Adela；　who　inherited

some　portion　of　her　brother's　talent　in　art；　was　employed　in

drawing；　and　Glyndon；　rousing　himself　from　meditations　less

gloomy　than　usual；　rose；　and　affectionately　passing　his　arm　round

her　waist；　looked　over　her　as　she　sat。　　An　exclamation　of　dismay

broke　from　his　lips；he　snatched　the　drawing　from　her　hand：

〃What　are　you　about？what　portrait　is　this？〃



〃Dear　Clarence；　do　you　not　remember　the　original？it　is　a　copy

from　that　portrait　of　our　wise　ancestor　which　our　poor　mother

used　to　say　so　strongly　resembled　you。　　I　thought　it　would　please

you　if　I　copied　it　from　memory。〃



〃Accursed　was　the　likeness！〃　said　Glyndon；　gloomily。　　〃Guess　you

not　the　reason　why　I　have　shunned　to　return　to　the　home　of　my

fathers！because　I　dreaded　to　meet　that　portrait！because

becausebut　pardon　me；　I　alarm　you！〃



〃Ah；　no；no；　Clarence；　you　never　alarm　me　when　you　speak：　　only

when　you　are　silent！　　Oh；　if　you　thought　me　worthy　of　your　trust；

oh；　if　you　had　given　me　the　right　to　reason　with　you　in　the

sorrows　that　I　yearn　to　share！〃



Glyndon　made　no　answer；　but　paced　the　room　for　some　moments　with

disordered　strides。　　He　stopped　at　last；　and　gazed　at　her

earnestly。　　〃Yes；　you；　too；　are　his　descendant；　you　know　that

such　men　have　lived　and　suffered；　you　will　not　mock　me；　you

will　not　disbelieve！　　Listen！　hark！what　sound　is　that？〃



〃But　the　wind　on　the　house…top；　Clarence；but　the　wind。〃



〃Give　me　your　hand；　let　me　feel　its　living　clasp；　and　when　I　have

told　you；　never　revert　to　the　tale　again。　　Conceal　it　from　all：

swear　that　it　shall　die　with　us；the　last　of　our　predestined

race！〃



〃Never　will　I　betray　your　trust；　I　swear　it；never！〃　said　Adela；

firmly；　and　she　drew　closer　to　his　side。　　Then　Glyndon　commenced

his　story。　　That　which；　perhaps；　in　writing；　and　to　minds

prepared　to　question　and　disbelieve；　may　seem　cold　and

terrorless；　became　far　different　when　told　by　those　blanched

lips；　with　all　that　truth　of　suffering　which　convinces　and

appalls。　　Much；　indeed；　he　concealed；　much　he　involuntarily

softened；　but　he　revealed　enough　to　make　his　tale　intelligible

and　distinct　to　his　pale　and　trembling　listener。　　〃At　daybreak；〃

he　said；　〃I　left　that　unhallowed　and　abhorred　abode。　　I　had　one

hope　still；I　would　seek　Mejnour　through　the　world。　　I　would

force　him　to　lay　at　rest　the　fiend　that　haunted　my　soul。　　With

this　intent　I　journeyed　from　city　to　city。　　I　instituted　the　most

vigilant　researches　through　the　police　of　Italy。　　I　even　employed

the　services　of　the　Inquisition　at　Rome；　which　had　lately

asserted　its　ancient　powers　in　the　trial　of　the　less　dangerous

Cagliostro。　　All　was　in　vain；　not　a　trace　of　him　could　be

discovered。　　I　was　not　alone；　Adela。〃　　Here　Glyndon　paused　a

moment；　as　if　embarrassed；　for　in　his　recital；　I　need　scarcely

say　that　he　had　only　indistinctly　alluded　to　Fillide；　whom　the

reader　may　surmise　to　be　his　companion。　　〃I　was　not　alone；　but

the　associate　of　my　wanderings　was　not　one　in　whom　my　soul　could

confide；faithful　and　affectionate；　but　without　education；

without　faculties　to　comprehend　me；　with　natural　instincts　rather

than　cultivated　reason；　one　in　whom　the　heart　might　lean　in　its

careless　hours；　but　with　whom　the　mind　could　have　no　commune；　in

whom　the　bewildered　spirit　could　seek　no　guide。　　Yet　in　the

society　of　this　person　the　demon　troubled　me　not。　　Let　me　explain

yet　more　fully　the　dread　conditions　of　its　presence。　　In　coarse

excitement；　in　commonplace　life；　in　the　wild　riot；　in　the　fierce

excess；　in　the　torpid　lethargy　of　that　animal　existence　which　we

share　with　the　brutes；　its　eyes　were　invisible；　its　whisper　was

unheard。　　But　whenever　the　soul　would　aspire；　whenever　the

imagination　kindled　to　the　loftier　ends；　whenever　the

consciousness　of　our　proper　destiny　struggled　against　the

unworthy　life　I　pursued；　then；　Adelathen；　it　cowered　by　my　side

in　the　light　of　noon；　or　sat　by　my　bed；a　Darkness　visible

through　the　Dark。　　If；　in　the　galleries　of　Divine　Art；　the　dreams

of　my　youth　woke　the　early　emulation；if　I　turned　to　the

thoughts　of　sages；　if　the　example　of　the　great；　if　the　converse

of　the　wise；　aroused　the　silenced　intellect；　the　demon　was　with

me　as　by　a　spell。　　At　last；　one　evening；　at　Genoa；　to　which　city

I　had　travelled　in　pursuit　of　the　mystic；　suddenly；　and　when

least　expected；　he　appeared　before　me。　　It　was　the　time　of　the

Carnival。　　It　was　in　one　of　those　half…frantic　scenes　of　noise

and　revel；　call　it　not　gayety；　which　establish　a　heathen

saturnalia　in　the　midst　of　a　Christian　festival。　　Wearied　with

the　dance；　I　had　entered　a　room　in　which　several　revellers　were

seated；　drinking；　singing；　shouting；　and　in　their　fantastic

dresses　and　hideous　masks；　their　orgy　seemed　scarcely　human。　　I

placed　myself　amongst　them；　and　in　that　fearful　excitement　of　the

spirits　which　the　happy　never　know；　I　was　soon　the　most　riotous

of　all。　　The　conversation　fell　on　the　Revolution　of　France；　which

had　always　possessed　for　me　an　absorbing　fascination。　　The　masks

spoke　of　the　millennium　it　was　to　bring　on　earth；　not　as

philosophers　rejoicing　in　the　advent　of　light；　but　as　ruffians

exulting　in　the　annihilation　of　law。　　I　know　not　why　it　was；　but

their　licentious　language　infected　myself；　and；　always　desirous

to　be　foremost　in　every　circle；　I　soon　exceeded　even　these

rioters　in　declamations　on　the　nature　of　the　liberty　which　was

about　to　embrace　all　the　families　of　the　globe；a　liberty　that

should　pervade　not　only　public　legislation；　but　domestic　life；　an

emancipation　from　every　fetter　that　men　had　forged　for

themselves。　　In　the　midst　of　this　tirade　one　of　the　masks

whispered　me；



〃'Take　care。　　One　listens　to　you　who　seems　to　be　a　spy！'



〃My　eyes　followed　those　of　the　mask；　and　I　observed　a　man　who

took　no　part　in　the　conversation；　but　whose　gaze　was　bent　upon

me。　　He　was　disguised　like　the　rest；　yet　I　found　by　a　general

whisper　that　none　had　observed　him　enter。　　His　silence；　his

attention；　had　alarmed　the　fears　of　the　other　revellers；they

only　excited　me　the　more。　　Rapt　in　my　subject；　I　pursued　it；

insensible　to　the　signs　of　those　about　me；　and；　addressing　myself

only　to　the　silent　mask　who　sat　alone；　apart　from　the　group；　I

did　not　even　observe　that；　one　by　one；　the　revellers　slunk　off；

and　that　I　and　the　silent　listener　were　left　alone；　until；

pausing　from　my　heated　and　impetuous　declamations；　I　said；



〃'And　you；　signor；what　is　your　view　of　this　mighty　era？

Opinion　without　persecution；　brotherhood　without　jealousy；　love

without　bondage'



〃'And　life　without　God；'　added　the　mask　as　I　hesitated　for　new

images。



〃The　sound　of　that　well…known　voice　changed　the　current　of　my

thought。　　I　sprang　forward；　and　cried；



〃'Imposter　or　Fiend