the use and need of the life of carrie a. nation-第10章

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of　his　superior　education；　never　thinking　that　he　loved　me；　until　he
astonished　me　one　evening　by　kissing　me。　I　had　never　had　a　gentleman
to　take　such　a　privilege　and　felt　shocked；　threw　up　my　hands　to　my　face；
saying　several　times：　〃I　am　ruined。〃　My　aunt　and　mother　had　instilled
great　reserve　in　my　actions；　when　in　company　of　gentlemen；　so　much　so
that　I　had　never　allowed　one　to　sit　near　or　hold　my　hand。　This　was　not
because　I　did　not　like　their　society；　but　I　had　been　taught　that　to　inspire
respect　or　love　from　a　man；　you　must　keep　him　at　a　distance。　This　often
made　me　awkward　and　reserved；　but　it　did　me　no　harm。　When　I　learned
that　Dr。　Gloyd　loved　me；　I　began　to　love　him。　He　was　an　only　child。
His　parents　had　but　a　modest　living。　My　mother　was　not　pleased　with
seeing　a　growing　attachment　between　us；　for　there　was　another　match　she
had　planned　for　me。　When　she　saw　this　she　would　not　allow　me　to　sit
alone　in　the　room　with　him；　so　our　communication　was　mostly　by　writing
letters。　I　never　knew　Shakespeare　until　he　read　it　to　me；　and　I　became
an　ardent　admirer　of　the　greatest　poet。　The　volume　of　Shakespeare　on
his　table　was　our　postoffice。　In　the　morning　at　breakfast　he　would　manage
to　call　the　name　〃Shakespeare；〃　then　I　would　know　there　was　a　letter
for　me　in　its　leaves。　After　teaching　three　months　he　went　to　Holden；
Mo。；　and　located；　sent　for　his　father　and　mother　and　in　two　years　we
were　married。


｛illust。　caption　=
MRS。　NATION　IS　SITTING　WHERE　SHE　STOOD　AT　HER　FIRST　MARRIAGE　IN　THE　PARLOR
OF　HER　OLD　HOME　IN　CASS　COUNTY；　MISSOURI。｝


My　father　and　mother　warned　me　that　the　doctor　was　addicted　to
drink；　but　I　had　no　idea　of　the　curse　of　rum。　I　did　not　fear　anything；　for　I
was　in　love；　and　doubted　in　him　nothing。　When　Dr。　Gloyd　came　up　to
marry　me　the　21st　of　November；　1867；　I　noticed　with　pain；　that　his　countenance
was　not　bright；　he　was　changed。　The　day　was　one　of　the　gloomiest
I　ever　saw；　a　mist　fell；　and　not　a　ray　of　sunshine。　I　felt　a　foreboding
on　the　day　I　had　looked　forward　to；　as　being　one　of　the　happiest。　I　did　not
find　Dr。　Gloyd　the　lover　I　expected。　He　was　kind　but　seemed　to　want　to
be　away　from　me；　used　to　sit　and　read；　when　I　was　so　hungry　for　his
caresses　and　love。　I　have　heard　that　this　is　the　experience　of　many　other
young　married　women。　They　are　so　disappointed　that　their　husbands
change　so　after　marriage。　With　my　observation　and　experience　I　believe
that　men　have　it　in　their　power　to　keep　the　love　of　ninety…nine　women　out
of　a　hundred。　Why　do　women　lose　love　for　their　husbands？　I　find　it　is
mostly　due　to　indifference　on　the　part　of　the　husband。　I　often　hear　the
experience　of　those　poor　abandoned　sisters。　I　ask；　Why　are　you　in　this　house
of　sin　and　death？　When　I　can　get　their　confidence；　many　of　them　say：　〃I
married　a　man；　he　drank；　and　went　with　other　women。　I　got　discouraged
or　spiteful；　and　went　to　the　bad　also。〃　I　find　that　drink　causes　so　much
enmity　between　the　sexes。　Drinking　men　neglect　their　wives。　Their　wives
become　jealous。　Men　often　go　with　abandoned　women　under　the　influence
of　that　drink　that　animates　the　animal　passions　and　asks　not　for　the
association　of　love；　but　the　gratification　of　lust。　Men　do　not　go　to　the
houses　of　ill…fame　to　meet　women　they　love　but　oftener　those　they　almost　hate。
The　drink　habit　destroys　in　men　the　appreciation　of　a　home　life；　and　when　a
woman　leaves　all　others　for　one　man；　she　does；　and　should；　expect　his
companionship；　and　is　not　satisfied　without　it。　Libertines；　taking　advantage
of　this；　select　women　whose　husbands　are　neglectful；　and　he　wins　victims
by　his　attentions；　and　poor　woman；　as　at　the　first；　is　beguiled。　Marriage；
while　it　is　the　blissful　consummation　of　pure　love；　is　the　most　serious　of
all　relations；　and　girls　and　boys　should　early　be　instructed　about　the　secrets
of　their　own　natures；　the　object　of　marriage；　and　the　serious　results　of　any
marriage　where　true　love　is　not　the　object。　I　confess　myself　that　I
was　not　fit　to　marry　with　the　ignorance　of　its　holy　purpose。　Sunday　school
teachers；　mothers；　fathers；　and　ministers；　look　into　God's　word　and　see　the
results　of　sin。　God　has　written　of　this　so　as　to　force　you　to　educate　your
children。　Talk　freely。　Truth　will　purify　everything　it　comes　in　contact
with。　Ignorance　is　not　innocence；　but　is　the　promoter　of　crime：　〃My
people　are　destroyed　for　lack　of　knowledge。〃

About　five　days　after　we　were　married；　Dr。　Gloyd　came　in；　threw
himself　on　the　bed　and　fell　asleep。　I　was　in　the　next　room　and　saw　his
mother　bow　down　over　his　face。　She　did　not　know　I　saw　her。　When
she　left；　I　did　the　same　thing；　and　the　fumes　of　liquor　came　in　my
face。　I　was　terror　stricken；　and　from　that　time　on；　I　knew　why　he　was
so　changed。　Not　one　happy　moment　did　I　see；　I　cried　most　all　the　time。
My　husband　seemed　to　understand　that　I　knew　his　condition。　Twice；
with　tears　in　his　eyes；　he　remarked：　〃Oh！　Pet；　I　would　give　my　right　arm
to　make　you　happy。〃　He　would　be　out　until　late　every　night。　I　never
closed　my　eyes。　His　sign　in　front　of　the　door　on　the　street　would　creak
in　the　wind；　and　I　would　sit　by　the　window　waiting　to　hear　his　footsteps。
I　never　saw　him　stagger。　He　would　lock　himself　up　in　the
〃Masonic　Lodge〃　and　allow　no　one　to　see　him。　People　would　call　for
him　in　case　of　sickness；　but　he　could　not　be　found。

My　anguish　was　unspeakable；　I　was　comparatively　a　child。　I　wanted
some　one　to　help　me。　He　was　a　mason。　I　talked　to　a　Mr。　Hulitt；　a
brother　mason；　I　begged　of　him　to　help　me　save　my　precious　husband。
I　talked　to　a　dear　friend；　Mrs。　Clara　Mize；　a　Christian；　hoping　to　get
some　help　in　that　direction；　but　all　they　could　say；　was。　〃Oh；　what　a
pity；　to　see　a　man　like　Dr。　Gloyd　throw　himself　away！〃　The　world　was
all　at　once　changed　to　me；　it　was　like　a　place　of　torture。　I　thought
certainly；　there　must　be　a　way　to　prevent　this　suicide　and　murder。　I　now
know；　that　the　impulse　was　born　in　me　then　to　combat　to　the　death
this　inhumanity　to　man。

I　believe　the　masons　were　a　great　curse　to　Dr。　Gloyd。　These　men
would　drink　with　him。　There　is　no　society　or　business　that　separates
man　and　wife；　or　calls　men　from　their　homes　at　night；　that　produces
any　good　results。　I　believe　that　secret　societies　are　unscriptural；　and
that　the　Masonic　Lodge　has　been　the　ruin　of　many　a　home　and　character。

I　was　so　ignorant　I　did　not　know　that　I　owed　a　duty　to　myself　to
avoid　gloomy　thoughts；　did　not　know　that　a　mother　could　entail　a　curse
on　her　offspring　before　it　was　born。　Oh；　the　curse　that　comes　through
heredity；　and　this　liquor　evil；　a　disease　that　entails　more　depravity　on
children
unborn；　than　all　else；　unless　it　be　tobacco。　There　is　an　object　lesson
taught　in　the　Bible。　The　mother　of　Samson　was　told　by　an　angel　to
〃drink　neither　wine　nor　strong　drink〃　before　her　child　was　born；　and　not
to　allow　him　to　do　so　after　he　was　born。　God　shows　by　this；　that　these
things　are　injurious。　Mothers　often　make　drunkards　of　their　own　children；
before　they　are　born。　My　parents　heard　that　Dr。　Gloyd　was　drinking。
My　father　came　down　to　visit　us；　and　I　went　home　with　him。　My
mother　told　me　I　must　never　go　back　to　my　husband　again。　I　knew　the
time　was　near　at　hand；　when　I　would　be　helpless；　with　a　drunken　husband；
and　no　means　of　support。　What　could　I　do？　I　kept　writing　to
〃Charlie；〃　as　I　called　him。　He　came　to　see　me　once；　my　mother　treated
him　as　a　stranger。　He　expressed　much　anxiety　about　my　confinement　in
September；　got　a　party　to　agree　to　come　for　him　at　the　time；　but
my　mother　would　not　allow　it。　In　six　weeks　after　my　little　girl　was
born；　my　mother　sent　my　brother　with　me　to　Holden　to　get　my　trunk　and
other　things　to　bring　them　home。　Her　words　to　me　were：　〃If　you　stay
in　Holden；　never　return　home　again。〃　My　husband　begged　me　to　stay　with
him；　he　said：　〃Pet；　if　you　leave　me；　I　will　be　a　dead　man　in　six　months。〃
I　wanted　to　stay　with　him；　but　dared　not　disobey　my　mother　and　be
thrown　out　of　shelter；　for　I　saw　I　could　not　depend　on　my　husband。　I
did　not　know　then　that　drinking　men　were　drugged　men；　diseased　men。
His　mother　told　me　that　when　he　was　growing　up　to　manhood；　his　father；
Harry　Gloyd；　was　Justice　of　the　Peace　in　Newport；　Ohio；　twelve　years；　and