the wood beyond the world-第22章

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I　do　it：　　none　loveth　me；　none　tormenteth　me；　but　I　wear　my　heart　in
longing　for　I　scarce　know　what。　　Neither　then　am　I　in　this　land；　but
in　a　land　that　I　love　not；　and　a　house　that　is　big　and　stately；　but
nought　lovely。　　Then　is　a　dim　time　again；　and　sithence　a　time　not
right　clear；　an　evil　time；　wherein　I　am　older；　wellnigh　grown　to
womanhood。　　There　are　a　many　folk　about　me；　and　they　foul；　and
greedy；　and　hard；　and　my　spirit　is　fierce；　and　my　body　feeble；　and　I
am　set　to　tasks　that　I　would　not　do；　by　them　that　are　unwiser　than
I；　and　smitten　I　am　by　them　that　are　less　valiant　than　I；　and　I　know
lack；　and　stripes；　and　divers　misery。　　But　all　that　is　now　become
but　a　dim　picture　to　me；　save　that　amongst　all　these　unfriends　is　a
friend　to　me；　an　old　woman；　who　telleth　me　sweet　tales　of　other
life；　wherein　all　is　high　and　goodly；　or　at　the　least　valiant　and
doughty；　and　she　setteth　hope　in　my　heart　and　learneth　me；　and
maketh　me　to　know　much　。　。　。　O　much　。　。　。　so　that　at　last　I　am　grown
wise；　and　wise　to　be　mighty　if　I　durst。　　Yet　am　I　nought　in　this
land　all　this　while；　but；　as　meseemeth；　in　a　great　and　a　foul　city。〃

〃And　then；　as　it　were；　I　fall　asleep；　and　in　my　sleep　is　nought；
save　here　and　there　a　wild　dream；　somedeal　lovely；　somedeal　hideous：
but　of　this　dream　is　my　Mistress　a　part；　and　the　monster；　withal；
whose　head　thou　didst　cleave　to…day。　　But　when　I　am　awaken　from　it；
then　am　I　verily　in　this　land；　and　myself；　as　thou　seest　me　to…day。
And　the　first　part　of　my　life　here　is　this；　that　I　am　in　the
pillared　ball　yonder；　half…clad　and　with　bound　hands；　and　the　Dwarf
leadeth　me　to　the　Lady；　and　I　hear　his　horrible　croak　as　he　sayeth：
'Lady；　will　this　one　do？'　and　then　the　sweet　voice　of　the　Lady
saying：　　'This　one　will　do；　thou　shalt　have　thy　reward：　　now；　set
thou　the　token　upon　her。'　　Then　I　remember　the　Dwarf　dragging　me
away；　and　my　heart　sinking　for　fear　of　him：　　but　for　that　time　he
did　me　no　more　harm　than　the　rivetting　upon　my　leg　this　iron　ring
which　here　thou　seest。〃

〃So　from　that　time　forward　I　have　lived　in　this　land；　and　been　the
thrall　of　the　Lady；　and　I　remember　my　life　here　day　by　day；　and　no
part　of　it　has　fallen　into　the　dimness　of　dreams。　　Thereof　will　I
tell　thee　but　little：　　but　this　I　will　tell　thee；　that　in　spite　of
my　past　dreams；　or　it　may　be　because　of　them；　I　had　not　lost　the
wisdom　which　the　old　woman　had　erst　learned　me；　and　for　more　wisdom
I　longed。　　Maybe　this　longing　shall　now　make　both　thee　and　me　happy；
but　for　the　passing　time　it　brought　me　grief。　　For　at　first　my
Mistress　was　indeed　wayward　with　me；　but　as　any　great　lady　might　be
with　her　bought　thrall；　whiles　caressing　me；　and　whiles　chastising
me；　as　her　mood　went；　but　she　seemed　not　to　be　cruel　of　malice；　or
with　any　set　purpose。　　But　so　it　was　（rather　little　by　little　than
by　any　great　sudden　uncovering　of　my　intent）；　that　she　came　to　know
that　I　also　had　some　of　the　wisdom　whereby　she　lived　her　queenly
life。　　That　was　about　two　years　after　I　was　first　her　thrall；　and
three　weary　years　have　gone　by　since　she　began　to　see　in　me　the
enemy　of　her　days。　　Now　why　or　wherefore　I　know　not；　but　it　seemeth
that　it　would　not　avail　her　to　slay　me　outright；　or　suffer　me　to
die；　but　nought　withheld　her　from　piling　up　griefs　and　miseries　on
my　head。　　At　last　she　set　her　servant；　the　Dwarf；　upon　me；　even　he
whose　head　thou　clavest　to…day。　　Many　things　I　bore　from　him　whereof
it　were　unseemly　for　my　tongue　to　tell　before　thee；　but　the　time
came　when　he　exceeded；　and　I　could　bear　no　more；　and　then　I　showed
him　this　sharp　knife　（wherewith　I　would　have　thrust　me　through　to
the　heart　if　thou　hadst　not　pardoned　me　e'en　now）；　and　I　told　him
that　if　he　forbore　me　not；　I　would　slay；　not　him；　but　myself；　and
this　he　might　not　away　with　because　of　the　commandment　of　the　Lady；
who　had　given　him　the　word　that　in　any　case　I　must　be　kept　living。
And　her　hand；　withal；　fear　held　somewhat　hereafter。　　Yet　was　there
need　to　me　of　all　my　wisdom；　for　with　all　this　her　hatred　grew；　and
whiles　raged　within　her　so　furiously　that　it　overmastered　her　fear；
and　at　such　times　she　would　have　put　me　to　death　if　I　had　not
escaped　her　by　some　turn　of　my　lore。〃

〃Now　further；　I　shall　tell　thee　that　somewhat　more　than　a　year　ago
hither　to　this　land　came　the　King's　Son；　the　second　goodly　man；　as
thou　art　the　third；　whom　her　sorceries　have　drawn　hither　since　I
have　dwelt　here。　　Forsooth；　when　he　first　came；　he　seemed　to　us；　to
me；　and　yet　more　to　my　Lady；　to　be　as　beautiful　as　an　angel；　and
sorely　she　loved　him；　and　he　her；　after　his　fashion：　　but　he　was
light…minded；　and　cold…hearted；　and　in　a　while　he　must　needs　turn
his　eyes　upon　me；　and　offer　me　his　love；　which　was　but　foul　and
unkind　as　it　turned　out；　for　when　I　nay…said　him；　as　maybe　I　had　not
done　save　for　fear　of　my　Mistress；　he　had　no　pity　upon　me；　but
spared　not　to　lead　me　into　the　trap　of　her　wrath；　and　leave　me
without　help；　or　a　good　word。　　But；　O　friend；　in　spite　of　all　grief
and　anguish；　I　learned　still；　and　waxed　wise；　and　wiser；　abiding　the
day　of　my　deliverance；　which　has　come；　and　thou　art　come。〃

Therewith　she　took　Walter's　hands　and　kissed　them；　but　he　kissed　her
face；　and　her　tears　wet　her　lips。　　Then　she　went　on：　　〃But　sithence；
months　ago；　the　Lady　began　to　weary　of　this　dastard；　despite　of　his
beauty；　and　then　it　was　thy　turn　to　be　swept　into　her　net；　I　partly
guess　how。　　For　on　a　day　in　broad　daylight；　as　I　was　serving　my
Mistress　in　the　hall；　and　the　Evil　Thing；　whose　head　is　now　cloven；
was　lying　across　the　threshold　of　the　door；　as　it　were　a　dream　fell
upon　me；　though　I　strove　to　cast　it　off　for　fear　of　chastisement；
for　the　pillared　hall　wavered；　and　vanished　from　my　sight；　and　my
feet　were　treading　a　rough　stone　pavement　instead　of　the　marble
wonder　of　the　hall；　and　there　was　the　scent　of　the　salt　sea　and　of
the　tackle　of　ships；　and　behind　me　were　tall　houses；　and　before　me
the　ships　indeed；　with　their　ropes　beating　and　their　sails　flapping
and　their　masts　wavering；　and　in　mine　ears　was　the　hale　and　how　of
mariners；　things　that　I　had　seen　and　heard　in　the　dimness　of　my　life
gone　by。〃

〃And　there　was　I；　and　the　Dwarf　before　me；　and　the　Lady　after　me；
going　over　the　gangway　aboard　of　a　tall　ship；　and　she　gathered　way
and　was　gotten　out　of　the　haven；　and　straightway　I　saw　the　mariners
cast　abroad　their　ancient。〃

Quoth　Walter：　　〃What　then！　　Sawest　thou　the　blazon　thereon；　of　a
wolf…like　beast　ramping　up　against　a　maiden？　　And　that　might　well
have　been　thou。〃

She　said：　　〃Yea；　so　it　was；　but　refrain　thee；　that　I　may　tell　on　my
tale！　　The　ship　and　the　sea　vanished　away；　but　I　was　not　back　in　the
hall　of　the　Golden　House；　and　again　were　we　three　in　the　street　of
the　self…same　town　which　we　had　but　just　left；　but　somewhat　dim　was
my　vision　thereof；　and　I　saw　little　save　the　door　of　a　goodly　house
before　me；　and　speedily　it　died　out；　and　we　were　again　in　the
pillared　hall；　wherein　my　thralldom　was　made　manifest。〃

〃Maiden；〃　said　Walter；　〃one　question　I　would　ask　thee；　to　wit；　didst
thou　see　me　on　the　quay　by　the　ships？〃

〃Nay；〃　she　said；　〃there　were　many　folk　about；　but　they　were　all　as
images　of　the　aliens　to　me。　　Now　hearken　further：　　three　months
thereafter　came　the　dream　upon　me　again；　when　we　were　all　three
together　in　the　Pillared　Hall；　and　again　was　the　vision　somewhat
dim。　　Once　more　we　were　in　the　street　of　a　busy　town；　but　all　unlike
to　that　other　one；　and　there　were　men　standing　together　on　our　right
hands　by　the　door　of　a　house。〃

〃Yea；　yea；〃　quoth　Walter；　〃and；　forsooth；　one　of　them　was　who　but
I。〃

〃Refrain　thee；　beloved！〃　she　said；　〃for　my　tale　draweth　to　its
ending；　and　I　would　have　thee　hearken　heedfully：　　for　maybe　thou
shalt　once　again　deem　my　deed　past　pardon。　　Some　twenty　days　after
this　last　dream；　I　had　some　leisure　from　my　Mistress's　service；　so　I
went　to　disport　me　by　the　Well　of　the　Oak…tree　（or　forsooth　she
might　have　set　in　my　mind　the　thought　of　going　there；　that　I　might
meet　thee　and　give　her　some　occasion　against　me）；　and　I　sat　thereby；
nowise　loving　the　earth；　but　sick　at　heart；　because　of　late　the
King's　Son　had　been　more　than　ever　instant　with　me