the beast in the jungle-第3章

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e　spirit；　failing　another　encounter；　so　much　as　thanked　her。　　What　he　had　asked　of　her　had　been　simply　at　first　not　to　laugh　at　him。　　She　had　beautifully　not　done　so　for　ten　years；　and　she　was　not　doing　so　now。　　So　he　had　endless　gratitude　to　make　up。　　Only　for　that　he　must　see　just　how　he　had　figured　to　her。　　〃What；　exactly；　was　the　account　I　gave？〃

〃Of　the　way　you　did　feel？　　Well；　it　was　very　simple。　　You　said　you　had　had　from　your　earliest　time；　as　the　deepest　thing　within　you；　the　sense　of　being　kept　for　something　rare　and　strange；　possibly　prodigious　and　terrible；　that　was　sooner　or　later　to　happen　to　you；　that　you　had　in　your　bones　the　foreboding　and　the　conviction　of；　and　that　would　perhaps　overwhelm　you。〃

〃Do　you　call　that　very　simple？〃　John　Marcher　asked。

She　thought　a　moment。　　〃It　was　perhaps　because　I　seemed；　as　you　spoke；　to　understand　it。〃

〃You　do　understand　it？〃　he　eagerly　asked。

Again　she　kept　her　kind　eyes　on　him。　　〃You　still　have　the　belief？〃

〃Oh！〃　he　exclaimed　helplessly。　　There　was　too　much　to　say。

〃Whatever　it's　to　be；〃　she　clearly　made　out；　〃it　hasn't　yet　come。〃

He　shook　his　head　in　complete　surrender　now。　　〃It　hasn't　yet　come。　Only；　you　know；　it　isn't　anything　I'm　to　do；　to　achieve　in　the　world；　to　be　distinguished　or　admired　for。　　I'm　not　such　an　ass　as　THAT。　　It　would　be　much　better；　no　doubt；　if　I　were。〃

〃It's　to　be　something　you're　merely　to　suffer？〃

〃Well；　say　to　wait　forto　have　to　meet；　to　face；　to　see　suddenly　break　out　in　my　life；　possibly　destroying　all　further　consciousness；　possibly　annihilating　me；　possibly；　on　the　other　hand；　only　altering　everything；　striking　at　the　root　of　all　my　world　and　leaving　me　to　the　consequences；　however　they　shape　themselves。〃

She　took　this　in；　but　the　light　in　her　eyes　continued　for　him　not　to　be　that　of　mockery。　　〃Isn't　what　you　describe　perhaps　but　the　expectationor　at　any　rate　the　sense　of　danger；　familiar　to　so　many　peopleof　falling　in　love？〃

John　Marcher　thought。　　〃Did　you　ask　me　that　before？〃

〃NoI　wasn't　so　free…and…easy　then。　　But　it's　what　strikes　me　now。〃

〃Of　course；〃　he　said　after　a　moment；　〃it　strikes　you。　　Of　course　it　strikes　ME。　　Of　course　what's　in　store　for　me　may　be　no　more　than　that。　　The　only　thing　is；〃　he　went　on；　〃that　I　think　if　it　had　been　that　I　should　by　this　time　know。〃

〃Do　you　mean　because　you've　BEEN　in　love？〃　　And　then　as　he　but　looked　at　her　in　silence：　　〃You've　been　in　love；　and　it　hasn't　meant　such　a　cataclysm；　hasn't　proved　the　great　affair？〃

〃Here　I　am；　you　see。　　It　hasn't　been　overwhelming。〃

〃Then　it　hasn't　been　love；〃　said　May　Bartram。

〃Well；　I　at　least　thought　it　was。　　I　took　it　for　thatI've　taken　it　till　now。　　It　was　agreeable；　it　was　delightful；　it　was　miserable；〃　he　explained。　　〃But　it　wasn't　strange。　　It　wasn't　what　my　affair's　to　be。〃

〃You　want　something　all　to　yourselfsomething　that　nobody　else　knows　or　HAS　known？〃

〃It　isn't　a　question　of　what　I　'want'God　knows　I　don't　want　anything。　　It's　only　a　question　of　the　apprehension　that　haunts　me…　…that　I　live　with　day　by　day。〃

He　said　this　so　lucidly　and　consistently　that　he　could　see　it　further　impose　itself。　　If　she　hadn't　been　interested　before　she'd　have　been　interested　now。

〃Is　it　a　sense　of　coming　violence？〃

Evidently　now　too　again　he　liked　to　talk　of　it。　　〃I　don't　think　of　it　aswhen　it　does　comenecessarily　violent。　　I　only　think　of　it　as　natural　and　as　of　course　above　all　unmistakeable。　　I　think　of　it　simply　as　THE　thing。　　THE　thing　will　of　itself　appear　natural。〃

〃Then　how　will　it　appear　strange？〃

Marcher　bethought　himself。　　〃It　won'tto　ME。〃

〃To　whom　then？〃

〃Well；〃　he　replied；　smiling　at　last；　〃say　to　you。〃

〃Oh　then　I'm　to　be　present？〃

〃Why　you　are　presentsince　you　know。〃

〃I　see。〃　　She　turned　it　over。　　〃But　I　mean　at　the　catastrophe。〃

At　this；　for　a　minute；　their　lightness　gave　way　to　their　gravity；　it　was　as　if　the　long　look　they　exchanged　held　them　together。　　〃It　will　only　depend　on　yourselfif　you'll　watch　with　me。〃


〃Are　you　afraid？〃　she　asked。

〃Don't　leave　me　now；〃　he　went　on。

〃Are　you　afraid？〃　she　repeated。

〃Do　you　think　me　simply　out　of　my　mind？〃　he　pursued　instead　of　answering。　　〃Do　I　merely　strike　you　as　a　harmless　lunatic？〃

〃No；〃　said　May　Bartram。　　〃I　understand　you。　　I　believe　you。〃

〃You　mean　you　feel　how　my　obsessionpoor　old　thingmay　correspond　to　some　possible　reality？〃

〃To　some　possible　reality。〃

〃Then　you　WILL　watch　with　me？〃

She　hesitated；　then　for　the　third　time　put　her　question。　　〃Are　you　afraid？〃

〃Did　I　tell　you　I　wasat　Naples？〃

〃No；　you　said　nothing　about　it。〃

〃Then　I　don't　know。　　And　I　should　like　to　know；〃　said　John　Marcher。　〃You'll　tell　me　yourself　whether　you　think　so。　　If　you'll　watch　with　me　you'll　see。〃

〃Very　good　then。〃　　They　had　been　moving　by　this　time　across　the　room；　and　at　the　door；　before　passing　out；　they　paused　as　for　the　full　wind…up　of　their　understanding。　　〃I'll　watch　with　you；〃　said　May　Bartram。



CHAPTER　II



The　fact　that　she　〃knew〃knew　and　yet　neither　chaffed　him　nor　betrayed　himhad　in　a　short　time　begun　to　constitute　between　them　a　goodly　bond；　which　became　more　marked　when；　within　the　year　that　followed　their　afternoon　at　Weatherend；　the　opportunities　for　meeting　multiplied。　　The　event　that　thus　promoted　these　occasions　was　the　death　of　the　ancient　lady　her　great…aunt；　under　whose　wing；　since　losing　her　mother；　she　had　to　such　an　extent　found　shelter；　and　who；　though　but　the　widowed　mother　of　the　new　successor　to　the　property；　had　succeededthanks　to　a　high　tone　and　a　high　temper　in　not　forfeiting　the　supreme　position　at　the　great　house。　　The　deposition　of　this　personage　arrived　but　with　her　death；　which；　followed　by　many　changes；　made　in　particular　a　difference　for　the　young　woman　in　whom　Marcher's　expert　attention　had　recognised　from　the　first　a　dependent　with　a　pride　that　might　ache　though　it　didn't　bristle。　　Nothing　for　a　long　time　had　made　him　easier　than　the　thought　that　the　aching　must　have　been　much　soothed　by　Miss　Bartram's　now　finding　herself　able　to　set　up　a　small　home　in　London。　　She　had　acquired　property；　to　an　amount　that　made　that　luxury　just　possible；　under　her　aunt's　extremely　complicated　will；　and　when　the　whole　matter　began　to　be　straightened　out；　which　indeed　took　time；　she　let　him　know　that　the　happy　issue　was　at　last　in　view。　　He　had　seen　her　again　before　that　day；　both　because　she　had　more　than　once　accompanied　the　ancient　lady　to　town　and　because　he　had　paid　another　visit　to　the　friends　who　so　conveniently　made　of　Weatherend　one　of　the　charms　of　their　own　hospitality。　　These　friends　had　taken　him　back　there；　he　had　achieved　there　again　with　Mss　Bartram　some　quiet　detachment；　and　he　had　in　London　succeeded　in　persuading　her　to　more　than　one　brief　absence　from　her　aunt。　They　went　together；　on　these　latter　occasions；　to　the　National　Gallery　and　the　South　Kensington　Museum；　where；　among　vivid　reminders；　they　talked　of　Italy　at　largenot　now　attempting　to　recover；　as　at　first；　the　taste　of　their　youth　and　their　ignorance。　That　recovery；　the　first　day　at　Weatherend；　had　served　its　purpose　well；　had　given　them　quite　enough；　so　that　they　were；　to　Marcher's　sense；　no　longer　hovering　about　the　head…waters　of　their　stream；　but　had　felt　their　boat　pushed　sharply　off　and　down　the　current。

They　were　literally　afloat　together；　for　our　gentleman　this　was　marked；　quite　as　marked　as　that　the　fortunate　cause　of　it　was　just　the　buried　treasure　of　her　knowledge。　　He　had　with　his　own　hands　dug　up　this　little　hoard；　brought　to　lightthat　is　to　within　reach　of　the　dim　day　constituted　by　their　discretions　and　privaciesthe　object　of　value　the　hiding…place　of　which　he　had；　after　putting　it　into　the　ground　himself；　so　strangely；　so　long　forgotten。　　The　rare　luck　of　his　having　again　just　stumbled　on　the　spot　made　him　indifferent　to　any　other　question；　he　would　doubtless　have　devoted　more　time　to　the　odd　accident　of　his　lapse　of　memory　if　he　hadn't　been　moved　to　devote　so　much　to　the　sweetness；　the　comfort；　as　he　felt；　for　the　future；　that　this　accident　itself　had　helped　to　keep　fresh。　　It　had　never　entered　into　his　plan　that　any　one　should　〃know〃；　and　mainly　for　the　reason　that　it　wasn't　in　him　to　t