jeremy-第48章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
god； stood up against Miss Jones； hurling questions at her。 Where
had they been？ What road had they taken？ Had they gone into the
wood？ Whereabouts had he run past them？
〃I don't know；〃 said Miss Jones to this last。 〃I didn't see him。
Mary did。〃
Jeremy turned upon Mary。 〃Where was it you saw him？〃
She couldn't speak。 Her tongue wouldn't move； her lips wouldn't
open； she could but waggle her head like an idiot。 She saw nothing
but his face。 It was a desperate face。 She knew so much better than
all the others what the thought of losing Hamlet was to him。 It was
part of the harshness of her fate that she should understand him so
much better than the others did。
But she herself had not realised how hardly he would take it。
〃I didn'tI couldn't〃
〃There's the dog…man；〃 he stammered。 〃He'll have stolen him。〃 Then
he was off out of the room in an instant。
And that was more than Mary could hear。 She realised； even as she
followed him； that she was giving her whole case away； that she was
now； as always； weak when she should be strong； soft when she should
be hard； good when she should be wicked； wicked when she should be
good。 She could not help herself。 With trembling limbs and a heart
that seemed to be hammering her body into pieces she followed him
out。 She found him in the hall； tugging at his coat。
〃Where are you going？〃 she said weakly。
〃Going？〃 he answered fiercely。 〃Where do you think？〃 He glared at
her。 〃Just like you。〃 He broke off； suddenly appealing to her。
〃Mary； CAN'T you remember？ It will be getting dark soon； and if we
have to wait until to…morrow the dog…man will have got him。 At any
rate； he had his collar〃
Then Mary broke out。 She burst into sobs； pushed her hand into her
dress； and held out the collar to him。
〃There it is！ There it is！〃 she said hysterically。
〃You've got it？〃 He stared at her； suspicion slowly coming to him。
〃But how？ What have you done？〃
She looked up at him wild…eyed； the tears making dirty lines on her
face； her hand out towards him。
〃I took it off。 I shut Hamlet into the barn at Mellot Farm。 I wanted
him to be lost。 I didn't want you to have him。 I hated himalways
being with you； and me never。〃
Jeremy moved back； and at the sudden look in his eyes her sobbing
ceased； she caught her breath and stared at him with a silly fixed
stare as a rabbit quivers before a snake。
Jeremy said in his ordinary voice：
〃You shut Hamlet up？ You didn't want him to be found？〃
She nodded her head several times as though now she must convince
him quickly of this
〃Yes； yes； yes。 I did。 。 。 I know I shouldn't； but I couldn't help
it〃
He clutched her arm； and then shook her with a sudden wave of fierce
physical anger that was utterly unlike him； and； therefore； the more
terrifying。
〃You wicked； wickedYou beast； Mary！〃
She could only sob； her head hanging down。 He let her go。
〃What barn was it？〃
She described the place。
He gave her another look of contempt and then rushed off； running
across the courtyard。
There was still no one in the hall； she could go up to her room
without the fear of being disturbed。 She found the room； all white
and black now with the gathering dusk。 Beyond the window the evening
breeze was rustling in the dark trees of the garden and the boom of
the sea could be heard faintly。 Mary sat； where she always sat when
she was unhappy； inside the wardrobe with her head amongst the
clothes。 They in some way comforted her； she was not so lonely with
them； nor did she feel so strongly the empty distances of the long
room； the white light of the window…frames； nor the mysterious
secrecy of the high elms knocking their heads together in the garden
outside。
She had a fit of hysterical crying； biting the hanging clothes
between her teeth； feeling suddenly sick and tired and exhausted；
with flaming eyes and a dry； parched throat。 Why had she ever done
such a thing； she loving Jeremy as she did？ Would he ever forgive
her？ No； never； she saw that in his face。 Perhaps he wouldif he
found Hamlet quickly and came back。 Perhaps Hamlet never would be
found。 Then Jeremy's heart would be broken。
She slept from utter exhaustion； and was so found； when the room was
quite dark and only shadows moved in it； by her mother。
〃Why； Mary！〃 said Mrs。 Cole。 〃What are you doing here？ We couldn't
think where you were。 And where's Jeremy？〃
〃Jeremy！〃 She started up； remembering everything。
〃Hasn't he come back？ Oh； he's lost and he'll be killed； and it will
be all my fault！〃 She burst into another fit of wild hysterical
crying。
Her mother took her arm。 〃Mary； explainWhat have you done？〃
Mary explained； her teeth chattering； her head aching so that she
could not see。
〃And you shut him up like that？ WhateverOh； Mary； you wicked girl！
And JeremyHe's been away two hours now〃
She turned off； leaving Mary alone in the black room。
Mary was left to every terror that can beset a lonely； hysterical
childterror of Jeremy's fate； terror of Hamlet's loss； terror of
her own crimes； above all； terror of the lonely room； the waving
elms and the gathering dark。 She could not move； she could not even
close the door of the wardrobe； into whose shelter she had again
crept。 She stared at the white sheet of the window； with its black
bars like railings and its ghostly hinting of a moon that would soon
be up above the trees。 Every noise frightened her； the working of
the 〃separator〃 in a distant part of the farm； the whistling of some
farm…hand out in the yard； the voice of some boy； 〃coo…ee〃…ing
faintly； the lingering echo of the vanished dayall these seemed to
accuse her； to point fingers at her； to warn her of some awful
impending punishment。 〃Ah！ you're the little girl；〃 they seemed to
say； 〃who lost Jeremy's dog and broke Jeremy's heart。〃 She was sure
that someone was beneath her bed。 That old terror haunted her with
an almost humorous persistency every night before she went to sleep；
but to…night there was a ghastly certainty and imminence about it
that froze her blood。 She crouched up against the hanging skirts；
gazing at the black line between the floor and the white sheets；
expecting at every second to see a protruding black mask； bloodshot
eyes； a coarse hand。 The memory of the burglary that they had had in
the spring came upon her with redoubled force。 Ah！ surely； surely
someone was there！ She heard a movement； a scraping of a boot upon
the floor； the thick hurried breathing of some desperate
villain。 。 。
Then these fears gave way to something worse than them all； the
certainty that Jeremy was dead。 Ridiculous pictures passed before
her； of Jeremy hanging from a tree； Jeremy lying frozen in the wood；
the faithful Hamlet dead at his side； Jeremy stung by an adder and
succumbing to his horrible tortures； Jeremy surrounded by violent
men； who snatched Hamlet from him； beat him on the head and left him
for dead on the ground。
She passed what seemed to her hours of torture under these horrible
imaginings； tired out； almost out of her mind with the hysteria of
her loneliness； her imagination and her conscience； she passed into
a kind of apathy of unhappiness； thinking now only of Jeremy；
longing for him； beseeching him to come back； telling the empty
moonlit room that she never meant it； that she would do everything
he wanted if only he came back to her； that she was a wicked girl；
that she would never be wicked again。 。 。 。 And she took her
punishment alone。
After endless ages of darkness and terror and misery she heard
voicesthen HIS voice！ She jumped out of the wardrobe and listened。
Yes； it WAS his voice。 She pushed back the door； crept down the
passage； and came suddenly upon a little group； with Jeremy in its
midst； crowded together at the top of the stairs。 Jeremy was wrapped
up in his father's heavy coat； and looked very small and impish as
he peered from out of it。 He was greatly excited； his eyes shining；
his mouth smiling； his cheeks flushed。
His audience consisted of Helen； Mrs。 Cole； Miss Jones； and Aunt
Amy。 He described to them how he had run along the road 〃for miles
and miles and miles；〃 how at last he had found the farm； had rung
