jeremy-第35章

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first　of　all；　of　course；　be　the　Hottentot；　a　black　and　battered
clown　for　whom　he　had　long　ceased　to　feel　any　affection；　but　he　was
compelled　by　an　irritating　sense　of　loyalty　to　include　it　in　the
party　just　as　his　mother　might　include　some　tiresome　old　maid
〃because　she　had　nowhere　to　go　to；　poor　thing。〃　After　the　Hottentot
there　would　be　his　paint…box；　after　the　paint…　box　a　blue　writing…
case；　after　the　writing…case　the　family　photographs　（Father；　Mother；
Mary　and　Helen）；　after　the　photographs　a　toy　pistol；　after　the
pistol　Hamlet's　ball　（a　worsted　affair　rendered　by　now　shapeless　and
incoherent）；　after　the　ball　〃Alice　in　Wonderland〃　（Mary's　copy；　but
she　didn't　know）；　after　〃Alice；〃　〃Herr　Baby；〃　after　〃Herr　Baby〃　the
Prayer　Book　that　Aunt　Amy　gave　him　last　birthday；　after　the　Prayer
Book　some　dried　flowers　which　were　to　be　presented　to　Mrs。　Monk；　the
lady　of　Cow　Farm　（this　might　be　called　carrying　coals　to　Newcastle）；
after　the　flowers　a　Bible；　after　the　Bible　four　walnuts　（very　dry
and　hard　ones）；　after　the　walnuts　some　transfer　papers；　after　the
transfer　papers　six　marblesthe　box　was　full　and　more　than　full；
and　he　had　not　included　the　hammer　and　nails　that　Uncle　Samuel　had
once　given　him；　nor　the　cigarette…case　（innocent　now　of　cigarettes；
and　transformed　first　into　a　home　for　walking　snails；　second　a　grave
for　dead　butterflies；　third　a　mouse…trap）；　nor　the　butterfly　net；
nor　〃Struuwelpeter；〃　nor　the　picture　of　Queen　Victoria　cut　from　the
chocolate…box；　normost　impossible　omission　of　allthe　toy…
village。　The　toy…village！　What　must　he　do　about　that？　Obviously
impossible　to　take　it　alland　yet　some　of　it　he　must　have。　Mr。　and
Mrs。　Noah　and　the　church；　perhapsor　no；　Mrs。　Monk　would　want　to
see　the　gardenit　would　never　do　not　to　show　her　the　orchard　with
the　apple…trees；　and　then　the　youngest　Miss　Noah！　She　had　always
seemed　to　Jeremy　so　attractive　with　her　straight　blue　gown　and　hard
red　cheeks。　He　must　show　her　to　Mrs。　Monk。　And　the　butcher's　shop；
and　then　the　sheep；　and　the　dogs　and　the　cows！

He　was　truly　in　despair。　He　sat　on　the　schoolroom　floor　with　his
possessions　all　around　him。　Only　Helen　was　in　the　room；　and　he　knew
that　it　would　be　no　use　to　appeal　to　hershe　had　become　so　much
more　conceited　since　Barbara's　arrivaland　yet　he　must　appeal　to
somebody；　so　he　said　to　her　very　politely：

〃Please；　Helen；　I've　got　my　box　and　so　many　things　to　put　into　it
and　it's　nearly　Saturday　alreadyand　I　want　to　show　the　Noahs　to
Mrs。　Monk。〃

This　would　have　been　a　difficult　sentence　for　the　most　clear…headed
person　to　unravel；　and　Helen　was；　at　that　moment；　trying　to　write　a
letter　to　an　aunt　whom　she　had　never　seen　and　for　whom　she　had　no
sort　of　affection；　so　she　answered　him　rather　roughly：

〃Oh；　don't　bother　with　your　box；　Jeremy。　Can't　you　see　I'm　busy？〃

〃You　may　be　busy；〃　said　Jeremy；　rising　indignantly　to　his　feet；　〃but
I'm　busy　too；　and　my　business　is　just　as　good　as　yours　with　your
silly　old　letter。〃

〃Oh；　don't　bother！〃　said　Helen；　whereupon　Jeremy　crept　behind　her
and　pinched　her　stocking。　A　battle　followed；　too　commonplace　in　its
details　to　demand　description　here。　It　need　only　be　said　that　Hamlet
joined　in　it　and　ran　away　with　Helen's　letter　which　had　blown　to　the
ground　during　the　struggle；　and　that　he　ate　it；　in　his　corner；　with
great　satisfaction。　Then；　when　they　were　at　their　angriest；　Helen
suddenly　began　to　laugh　which　she　did　sometimes；　to　her　own　intense
annoyance；　when　she　terribly　wanted　to　be　enraged；　then　Jeremy
laughed　too；　and　Hamlet　yielded　up　fragments　of　the　letterso　that
all　was　well。

But　the　problem　of　the　box　was　not　solvedand；　in　the　end；　the　only
part　of　the　toy　village　that　Mrs。　Monk　ever　saw　was　the　youngest
Miss　Noah　and　one　apple…tree　for　her　to　sit　under。




II


The　ritual　of　the　journey　to　Cow　Farm　was；　by　this　time；　of　course；
firmly　established；　and　the　first　part　of　the　ritual　was　that　one
should　wake　up　at　three　in　the　morning。　This　year；　however；　for　some
strange　mysterious　reason　Jeremy　overslept　himself　and　did　not　wake
up　until　eight　o'clock；　to　find　then　that　everyone　was　already　busy
packing　and　brushing　and　rushing　about；　and　that　all　his　own　most
sacred　preparations　must　be　squeezed　into　no　time　at　all　if　he　were
to　be　ready。　Old　Tom　Collins's　bus　came　along　at　twelve　o'clock　to
catch　the　one　o'clock　train；　so　that　Jeremy　might　he　considered　to
have　the　whole　morning　for　his　labours；　but　that　was　not　going　to　be
enough　for　him　unless　he　was　very　careful。　Grown…up　people　had　such
a　way　of　suddenly　catching　on　to　you　and　washing　your　ears；　or
making　you　brush　your　teeth；　or　sitting　you　down　in　a　corner　with　a
book；　that　circumnavigating　them　and　outplotting　them　needed　as　much
nerve　and　enterprise　as　tracking　Red　Indians。　When　things　were　fined
down　to　the　most　naked　accuracy　he　had　apparently　only　two　〃jobs〃：
one　to　accustom　Hamlet　to　walking　with　a　〃lead；〃　the　other　to　close
the　green　box；　but　of　course　Mary　would　want　advice；　and　there
would；　in　all　probability；　be　a　dispute　or　two　about　property　that
would　take　up　the　time。

It　was　indeed　an　eventful　morning。　Trouble　began　with　Mary　suddenly
discovering　that　she　had　lost　her　copy　of　〃Alice　in　Wonderland〃　and
rushing　to　Jeremy's　box　and　upsetting　all　Jeremy's　things　to　see
whether　it　were　there。　Jeremy　objected　to　this　with　an　indignation
that　was　scarcely　in　the　sequel　justified；　because　Mary　found　the
book　jammed　against　the　paint…box　and　a　dry　walnut　nestling　in　its
centre。　She　cried　and　protested　and　then　suddenly；　with　the
disgusting　sentimentality　that　was　so　characteristic　of　her；
abandoned　her　position　altogether　and　said　that　Jeremy　could　have
it；　and　then　cried　again　because　he　said　he　didn't　want　it。

Then　Jeremy　had　to　put　everything　back　into　the　box　again；　and　in
the　middle　of　this　Hamlet　ran　off　with　the　red…checked　Miss　Noah
between　his　teeth　and　began　to　lick　the　blue　off　her　dress；　looking
up　at　the　assembled　company　between　every　lick　with　a　smile　of　the
loveliest　satisfaction。　Then；　when　the　box　was　almost　closed；　it　was
discovered　by　a　shocked　and　virtuous　Helen　that　Jeremy　had　left　out
his　Bible。

〃There'll　be　one　there；〃　said　Jeremy　in　an　angry　agitated　whisper；
hoping　to　escape　the　attention　of　Miss　Jones。

〃What's　that；　Jeremy　dear？〃　said　Miss　Jones。

〃Oh；　fancy；　Miss　Jones！〃　said　Helen。　〃He's　taking　all　his　dirty　old
toys　and　even　his　old　clown；　and　he's　leaving　out　his　Bible。〃

〃I'm　not！〃　cried　Jeremy；　taking　it　and　trying　to　squeeze　it　down
between　three　walnuts　and　the　toy　pistol。

〃Oh；　Jeremy　clear；　that's　not　the　way　to　treat　your　Bible。　I'll　give
you　some　paper　to　wrap　it　up　in；　and　you'd　better　take　the　things
out　again　and　put　it　in　at　the　bottom　of　the　box。〃　Yes；　obviously　he
would　not　be　ready　in　time。

The　matter　of　Hamlet　and　the　〃lead〃　was　also　very　exhausting。　Hamlet
had　never；　in　all　his　days；　been　tied　to　anyone　or　anything。　Of
course　no　one　could　tell　what　had　been　his　history　before　he　came
strolling　on　to　the　Cole　horizon；　and　it　may　be　that　once　as　a　very
small　puppy　he　had　been　tied　on　to　something。　On　the　whole；　that　is
probable；　his　protests　on　this　occasion　being　of　a　kind　so　vehement
as　to　argue　some　reminiscences　behind　them。　Mrs。　Cole　had　bought　a
beautiful　〃lead〃　of　black　leather；　of　course　be　had　already　a　collar
studded　with　little　silver　nails；　and　the　point　was　very　simply　to
fasten　the　〃lead〃　on　to　the　collar。　Jeremy　had　been　promised　that　he
should　conduct　Hamlet；　and　it　had　seemed；　when　the　promise　had　been
made；　as　though　it　would　be　a　very　simple　thing　to　carry　out。　Hamlet
no　sooner　saw　the　cord　than　he　began　his　ingenious　protests；　sitting
up　and　smiing　at　it；　suddenly　darting　at　the　recumbent　Miss　Noah　and
rushing　round　the　room　with　her；　finally　catching　the　〃lead〃　itself
in　his　teeth　and　hiding　with　it　under　Miss　Jones's　skirt。

The　result　was　that　Tom　Collins's　bus　arrived　when　no　one　in　the
schoolroom　was　in　the　least　prepared　for　it。　Then　what　confusion
there　was！　Mrs。　Cole；　looking　strange　in　her　hat　and　veil；　as　though
she　were　dressed　up　for　a　play；　came　urging　them　to　hurry；　〃because
Father　was　waiting。〃　Then　H