jeremy-第26章

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because　they　were　not　good　enough　and　something　better　must　be
coming　very　shortly；　but　what　really　came　very　shortly　was　middle…
age；　and　it　came　of　course　entirely　unperceived　by　the　lady。　She
dressed　and　behaved　as　though　she　were　still　twenty；　although　her
brother　Samuel　tried　to　laugh　her　out　of　such　absurdities。　But　no
sister　ever　pays　attention　to　a　brother　on　such　matters；　and　Aunt
Amy　wore　coloured　ribbons　and　went　to　balls　and　made　eyes　behind　her
fan　for　season　after　season。　Then　as　time　passed　she　was　compelled
by　her　mirror　to　realise　that　she　was　not　quite　so　young　as　she　had
once　been；　so　she　hurriedly　invented　a　thrilling　past　history　for
herself；　alluding　to　affair　after　affair　that　had　come　to　nothing
only　because　she　herself　had　ruthlessly　slain　them；　and　dressing
herself　more　reasonably；　but　with　little　signs　and　hints；　in　the
shape　of　chains　and　coloured　bows　and　rings；　that　she　could　still　be
young　if　she　so　pleased；　and　that　she　was　open　to　offers；　although
she　could　not　promise　them　much　encouragement。　She　liked　the　society
of　Canons；　and　was　to　be　seen　a　great　deal　with　old　Canon　Borlase；
who　was　as　great　a　flirt　as　he　was　an　egotist；　so　that　it　did　not
matter　to　him　in　the　least　with　whom　he　flirted；　and　sat　at　the　feet
of　old　Canon　Morpheu；　who　was　so　crazy　about　the　discoveries　that　he
had　made　in　the　life　of　Ezekiel　that　it　was　quite　immaterial　to　him
to　whom　he　explained　them。

She　descended　from　these　clerical　flights　into　the　bosom　of　family
life　with　some　natural　discontent。　Her　brother　Samuel　she　had　always
disliked　because　he　laughed　at　her；　her　sister　she　did　not　care　for
because　she　was　very　innocently；　poor　lady；　flaunting　her　superior
married　state；　and　her　brother…in…law　she　did　not　like　because　he
always　behaved　as　though　she　were　one　of　a　vast　public　of　elderly
ladies　who　were　useful　for　helping　in　clerical　displays；　but　were
otherwise　non…existent。　Then　she　hated　children；　so　that　she　really
often　wondered　why　she　continued　to　live　with　her　brother…in…law；
but　it　was　cheap；　comfortable　and　safe；　and　although　she　assured
herself　and　everyone　else　that　there　were　countless　homes　wildly
eager　to　receive　her；　it　was　perhaps　just　as　well　not　to　put　their
eagerness　too　abruptly　to　the　test。

There　had　been　war　between　her　and　Jeremy　since　Jeremy's　birth；　but
it　had　been　war　of　a　rather　mild　and　inoffensive　character；
consisting　largely　in　Jeremy　on　his　side　putting　out　his　tongue　at
her　when　she　could　not　see　him；　and　she　on　her　side　sending　him　to
wash　his　ears　when　they　really　did　not　require　to　be　washed。　She　had
felt　always　in　Jeremy　an　obstinate　dislike　of　her；　and　as　he　had
seemed　to　her　neither　a　very　clever　nor　intelligent　child　she　had
consoled　herself　very　easily　with　the　thought　that　he　did　not　like
her　simply　because　he　was　stupid。　So　it　had　been　until　this　year；
and　then　suddenly　they　had　been　flung　into　sharper　opposition。　It
was　hard　to　say　what　had　brought　this　about；　but　it　was　perhaps　that
Jeremy　had　sprung　suddenly　from　the　unconscious　indifference　of　a
young　child　into　the　active　participation　of　a　growing　boy。　Whatever
the　truth　might　have　been；　the　coming　of　Hamlet　had　drawn　their
attitudes　into　positive　conflict。

Aunt　Amy　had　felt　from　the　first　that　Hamlet　laughed　at　her。　Had　you
asked　her　to　state；　as　a　part　of　her　general　experience；　that　she
really　believed　that　dogs　could　laugh　at　human　beings　she　would
indignantly　have　repudiated　any　idea　so　fantastic；　nevertheless；
unanalysed　and　unconfronted；　that　was　her　conviction。　The　dog
laughed　at　her；　he　insulted　her　by　walking　into　her　bedroom　with　his
muddy　feet　and　then　pretending　that　he　hadn't　known　that　it　was　her
bedroom；　regarding　her　through　his　hair　with　an　ironical　and
malicious　glance；　barking　suddenly　when　she　made　some　statement　as
though　he　enjoyed　immensely　an　excellent　joke；　but；　above　all；
despising　her；　she　felt；　so　that　the　wall　of　illusion　that　she　had
built　around　herself　had　been　pulled　down　by　at　least　one　creature；
more　human；　she　knew；　in　spite　of　herself；　than　many　human　beings。
Therefore；　she　hated　Hamlet；　and　scarcely　a　day　passed　that　she　did
not　try　to　have　him　flung　from　the　house；　or　at　least　kept　in　the
kitchen　offices。

Hamlet　had；　however；　won　the　hearts　of　the　family；　it　was；　indeed；
Aunt　Amy　alone　to　whom　he　had　not　thought　it　worth　while　to　pay
court。　To　her　alone　he　would　not　come　when　she　called；　by　her　alone
he　would　not　be　cajoled；　even　though　she　offered　him　sugary　tea；　his
deadliest　temptation。　No；　he　sat　and　looked　at　her　through　his　hair；
his　fiery　eye　glinting；　his　peaked　beard　ironically　humorous；　his
leg　stuck　out　from　his　body；　a　pointing　signal　of　derision。

She　resolved　to　wait　for　an　opportunity　when　she　might　conquer
Hamlet　and　Jeremy　together；　but　her　power　in　the　house　was　slight；
so　long　as　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Cole　were　there。　〃If　I　only　had　the　children
to　myself；〃　she　would　say；　〃I　would　improve　their　manners　in　many
ways。　Poor　Alice！〃　Then　suddenly　she　did　have　them。　At　the
beginning　of　May　Mr。　Cole　was　summoned　to　take　a　mission　to　the
seamen　of　Drymouth；　and　Mrs。　Cole；　who　had　relations　in　Drymouth；
accompanied　him。　They　would　be　absent　from　Pelchester　a　whole　week。

〃Oh；　won't　Aunt　Amy　be　a　nuisance；〃　said　Jeremy；　realising　the
situation。　Then　turning　to　Mary　he　added：　〃We'll　pretend　to　do　what
she　tells　us　and　not　do　it　really。　That's　much　the　easiest。〃

A　week　is　a　short　time；　especially　at　the　beginning　of　a　shining　and
burning　May；　but　Aunt　Amy　did　her　best　not　only　with　the　children
but　with　the　servants；　and　even　old　Jordan；　the　gardener；　who　had
been　with　the　Cole　family　for　twenty　years。　During　that　short　week
the　cook；　the　parlourmaid；　Rose；　the　housemaid；　and　the　bootboy　all
gave　notice；　and　Mrs。　Cole　was　only　able　to　keep　them　（on　her
return）　by　raising　the　wages　of　all　of　them。　Jordan；　who　was　an　old
man　with　a　long　white　beard；　said　to　her　when　she　advised　him　to
plant　pinks　where　he　had　planted　tulips　and　tulips　where　he　had
planted　pinks；　and　further　inquired　why　the　cauliflower　that　he　sent
in　was　so　poor　and　the　cabbages　so　small：　〃Leave　things　alone；　Miss；
Nature's　wiser　than　we　be；　not　but　what　you　mayn't　mean　well；　but
fussin's　never　done　any　good　where　Nature's　concerned；　nor　never
will〃；　and　when　she　said　that　he　was　very　rude　to　her；　he　shook　his
head　and　answered：

〃Maybe　yes；　and　maybe　no。　What's　rude　to　one　ain't　rude　to　another〃…
…out　of　which　answer　she　could　make　nothing　at　all。

In　the　schoolroom　she　sustained　complete　defeat。　At　the　very　outset
she　was　baffled　by　Miss　Jones。　She　had　always　despised　Miss　Jones　as
a　poor　unfortunate　female　who　was　forced　to　teach　children　in　her
old　age　because　she　must　earn　her　livinga　stupid；　sentimental；
cowed；　old　woman　at　whom　the　children　laughed。　She　found　now　that
the　children　instead　of　laughing　at　her　laughed　with　her；　formed　a
phalanx　of　protection　around　her　and　refused　to　be　disobedient。　Miss
Jones　herself　was　discovered　to　have　a　dry；　rather　caustic；　sense　of
humour　that　Aunt　Amy　felt　to　be　impertinence；　but　could　not
penetrate。

〃And　is　that　really　how　you　teach　them　history；　Miss　Jones？　Not
quite　the　simplest　way；　surely。　。　。　I　remember　an　excellent
governess　whom　we　once　had〃

〃Perhaps；〃　said　Miss　Jones；　gently；　〃you　would　give　them　a　history
lesson　yourself；　Miss　Trefusis。　I　would　be　so　glad　to　pick　up　any
little　hints〃

〃I　have；　of　course；　no　time；〃　said　Aunt　Amy　hurriedly；　〃but；
speaking　generally；　I　am　afraid　I　can't　approve　altogether　of　your
system。〃

〃It　isn't　very　good；　I'm　afraid；〃　said　Miss　Jones　weakly。　〃The
children　would　be　glad；　I　know；　to　have　a　few　hints　from　you　if　you
could　spare　a　moment〃

Jeremy；　who　was　listening；　giggled；　tried　to　turn　the　giggle　into　a
sneeze　and　choked。

〃Jeremy！〃　said　Aunt　Amy　severely。

〃Oh；　do　look；　Aunt　Amy！〃　cried　Mary；　always　Jeremy's　faithful　ally；
〃all　your　hairpins　are　dropping　out！〃

She　devoted　herself　then　to　Jeremy　and　worried　him　in　every　possible
way；　and　after　two　days　of　this　he　hated　her　with　a　deep　and　bitter
hatred；　very　different　from　that　earlier　teasing　of　Miss　Jones。　That
had　sprung　f