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第37章

the magic skin(驴皮记)-第37章

小说: the magic skin(驴皮记) 字数: 每页4000字

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beautiful voice!'

〃 'You have never heard me sing!' she exclaimed; starting
involuntarily with surprise。

〃 'I will prove that it is quite otherwise; whenever it is necessary。
Is your delightful singing still to remain a mystery? Have no fear; I
do not wish to penetrate it。'

〃We spent about an hour in familiar talk。 While I adopted the attitude
and manner of a man to whom Foedora must refuse nothing; I showed her
all a lover's deference。 Acting in this way; I received a favorI was
allowed to kiss her hand。 She daintily drew off the glove; and my
whole soul was dissolved and poured forth in that kiss。 I was steeped
in the bliss of an illusion in which I tried to believe。

〃Foedora lent herself most unexpectedly to my caress and my
flatteries。 Do not accuse me of faint…heartedness; if I had gone a
step beyond these fraternal compliments; the claws would have been out
of the sheath and into me。 We remained perfectly silent for nearly ten
minutes。 I was admiring her; investing her with the charms she had
not。 She was mine just then; and mine only;this enchanting being was
mine; as was permissible; in my imagination; my longing wrapped her
round and held her close; in my soul I wedded her。 The countess was
subdued and fascinated by my magnetic influence。 Ever since I have
regretted that this subjugation was not absolute; but just then I
yearned for her soul; her heart alone; and for nothing else。 I longed
for an ideal and perfect happiness; a fair illusion that cannot last
for very long。 At last I spoke; feeling that the last hours of my
frenzy were at hand。

〃 'Hear me; madame。 I love you; and you know it; I have said so a
hundred times; you must have understood me。 I would not take upon me
the airs of a coxcomb; nor would I flatter you; nor urge myself upon
you like a fool; I would not owe your love to such arts as these! so I
have been misunderstood。 What sufferings have I not endured for your
sake! For these; however; you were not to blame; but in a few minutes
you shall decide for yourself。 There are two kinds of poverty; madame。
One kind openly walks the street in rags; an unconscious imitator of
Diogenes; on a scanty diet; reducing life to its simplest terms; he is
happier; maybe; than the rich; he has fewer cares at any rate; and
accepts such portions of the world as stronger spirits refuse。 Then
there is poverty in splendor; a Spanish pauper; concealing the life of
a beggar by his title; his bravery; and his pride; poverty that wears
a white waistcoat and yellow kid gloves; a beggar with a carriage;
whose whole career will be wrecked for lack of a halfpenny。 Poverty of
the first kind belongs to the populace; the second kind is that of
blacklegs; of kings; and of men of talent。 I am neither a man of the
people; nor a king; nor a swindler; possibly I have no talent either;
I am an exception。 With the name I bear I must die sooner than beg。
Set your mind at rest; madame;' I said; 'to…day I have abundance; I
possess sufficient of the clay for my needs'; for the hard look passed
over her face which we wear whenever a well…dressed beggar takes us by
surprise。 'Do you remember the day when you wished to go to the
Gymnase without me; never believing that I should be there?' I went
on。

〃She nodded。

〃 'I had laid out my last five…franc piece that I might see you there。
Do you recollect our walk in the Jardin des Plantes? The hire of
your cab took everything I had。'

〃I told her about my sacrifices; and described the life I led; heated
not with wine; as I am to…day; but by the generous enthusiasm of my
heart; my passion overflowed in burning words; I have forgotten how
the feelings within me blazed forth; neither memory nor skill of mine
could possibly reproduce it。 It was no colorless chronicle of blighted
affections; my love was strengthened by fair hopes; and such words
came to me; by love's inspiration; that each had power to set forth a
whole lifelike echoes of the cries of a soul in torment。 In such
tones the last prayers ascend from dying men on the battlefield。 I
stopped; for she was weeping。 GRAND DIEU! I had reaped an actor's
reward; the success of a counterfeit passion displayed at the cost of
five francs paid at the theatre door。 I had drawn tears from her。

〃 'If I had known' she said。

〃 'Do not finish the sentence;' I broke in。 'Even now I love you well
enough to murder you'

〃She reached for the bell…pull。 I burst into a roar of laughter。

〃 'Do not call any one;' I said。 'I shall leave you to finish your
life in peace。 It would be a blundering kind of hatred that would
murder you! You need not fear violence of any kind; I have spent a
whole night at the foot of your bed without'

〃 'Monsieur' she said; blushing; but after that first impulse of
modesty that even the most hardened women must surely own; she flung a
scornful glance at me; and said:

〃 'You must have been very cold。'

〃 'Do you think that I set such value on your beauty; madame;' I
answered; guessing the thoughts that moved her。 'Your beautiful face
is for me a promise of a soul yet more beautiful。 Madame; those to
whom a woman is merely a woman can always purchase odalisques fit for
the seraglio; and achieve their happiness at a small cost。 But I
aspired to something higher; I wanted the life of close communion of
heart and heart with you that have no heart。 I know that now。 If you
were to belong to another; I could kill him。 And yet; no; for you
would love him; and his death might hurt you perhaps。 What agony this
is!' I cried。

〃 'If it is any comfort to you;' she retorted cheerfully; 'I can
assure you that I shall never belong to any one'

〃 'So you offer an affront to God Himself;' I interrupted; 'and you
will be punished for it。 Some day you will lie upon your sofa
suffering unheard…of ills; unable to endure the light or the slightest
sound; condemned to live as it were in the tomb。 Then; when you seek
the causes of those lingering and avenging torments; you will remember
the woes that you distributed so lavishly upon your way。 You have sown
curses; and hatred will be your reward。 We are the real judges; the
executioners of a justice that reigns here below; which overrules the
justice of man and the laws of God。'

〃 'No doubt it is very culpable in me not to love you;' she said;
laughing。 'Am I to blame? No。 I do not love you; you are a man; that
is sufficient。 I am happy by myself; why should I give up my way of
living; a selfish way; if you will; for the caprices of a master?
Marriage is a sacrament by virtue of which each imparts nothing but
vexations to the other。 Children; moreover; worry me。 Did I not
faithfully warn you about my nature? Why are you not satisfied to have
my friendship? I wish I could make you amends for all the troubles I
have caused you; through not guessing the value of your poor five…
franc pieces。 I appreciate the extent of your sacrifices; but your
devotion and delicate tact can be repaid by love alone; and I care so
little for you; that this scene has a disagreeable effect upon me。'

〃 'I am fully aware of my absurdity;' I said; unable to restrain my
tears。 'Pardon me;' I went on; 'it was a delight to hear those cruel
words you have just uttered; so well I love you。 O; if I could testify
my love with every drop of blood in me!'

〃 'Men always repeat these classic formulas to us; more or less
effectively;' she answered; still smiling。 'But it appears very
difficult to die at our feet; for I see corpses of that kind about
everywhere。 It is twelve o'clock。 Allow me to go to bed。'

〃 'And in two hours' time you will cry to yourself; AH; MON DIEU!'

〃 'Like the day before yesterday! Yes;' she said; 'I was thinking of
my stockbroker; I had forgotten to tell him to convert my five per
cent stock into threes; and the three per cents had fallen during the
day。'

〃I looked at her; and my eyes glittered with anger。 Sometimes a crime
may be a whole romance; I understood that just then。 She was so
accustomed; no doubt; to the most impassioned declarations of this
kind; that my words and my tears were forgotten already。

〃 'Would you marry a peer of France?' I demanded abruptly。

〃 'If

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