the stokesley secret-第4章

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es　it　out　of　her　window；　and；　oh！　I　thought　of　so　many　more；　but　you　see　I　can't　do　it　without　a　real　good　paint…box；　and　that　costs　three　and　sixpence。　　Now；　Miss　Fosbrook；　is　it　stingy　to　wish　to　do　that？〃

〃Not　at　all；　my　dear；　but　you　could　not　expect　the　others　to　understand　what　they　never　were　told。〃

〃I'd　have　said　something　if　they　had　not　called　me　stingy；〃　said　Bessie。

〃It　certainly　was　rude　and　hasty；　but　if　we　bear　such　things　good…　naturedly；　they　become　better；　and　they　were　very　eager　about　their　own　plan。〃

〃Such　a　disagreeable　thing　as　a　pig！〃　continued　Bessie。　　〃If　it　had　been　anything　nice；　I　should　not　have　minded　so　much。〃

〃Yes；　but；　my　dear；　you　must　remember　that　the　pig　will　be　a　more　useful　present　than　even　your　pretty　contrivances。　　You　cannot　call　them　doing　good；　as　the　other　will　be。〃

〃Then　you　are　like　them！　　You　think　I　ought　to　spend　all　my　money　on　a　great　horrid　pig；　when　Mamma〃　and　the　tears　were　in　the　little　girl's　eyes。

〃No；　indeed；　my　dear。　　I　don't　think　anyone　is　called　on　to　give　their　all；　and　it　is　very　nice　and　quite　right　for　a　little　girl　to　try　to　make　a　pretty　present　to　please　her　mamma。　　There　is　plenty　of　time　before　you；　and　I　think　you　will　manage　to　have　some　share　in　the　very　kind　action　your　brothers　and　sisters　are　contriving。〃

Elizabeth　had　not　forgiven；　as　she　should　have　done；　the　being　called　stingy；　it　rankled　on　her　feelings　far　more　than　those　who　said　the　word　understood；　and　she　presently　went　on；　〃If　they　knew　ever　so　much；　they　would　only　laugh　at　me；　and　call　it　all　Bessie's　nonsense。　Miss　Fosbrook；　please；　what　is　affectation？〃

〃I　believe　it　is　pretending　to　seem　what　we　are　not　by　nature；〃　said　Miss　Fosbrook；　〃putting　on　manners　or　feelings　that　do　not　come　to　us　of　themselves。〃

〃Then　I　shall　tell　them　they　make　me　affected；〃　exclaimed　she。　　〃If　I　like　to　be　quiet　and　do　things　prettily；　they　teaze　me　for　being　affected；　and　I'm　forced　to　be　as　plain　and　blunt　as　their　are；　and　I　don't　like　it！　　I　wish　I　was　grown　up。　　I　wish　I　was　Ida　Greville！〃

〃And　why；　my　dear？〃

〃Because　then　things　might　be　pretty；〃　said　Elizabeth。　　〃Everything　is　so　plain　and　ugly；　and　one　gets　so　tired　of　it！　　Is　it　silly　to　like　things　to　be　pretty？〃

〃No；　far　from　it；　that　is；　if　we　do　not　sacrifice　better　things　to　prettiness。〃

Elizabeth　looked　up　with　a　light　in　her　dark　eyes；　and　said；　〃Miss　Fosbrook；　I　like　you！〃

Miss　Fosbrook　was　very　much　pleased；　and　kissed　her。

She　paused　a　moment；　and　then　said；　〃Miss　Fosbrook；　may　I　ask　one　question？　　What　is　your　name？　　Mamma　said　it　must　be　Charlotte；　because　you　signed　your　letter　Ch。　A。　Fosbrook；　but　your　little　sister's　letter　that　you　showed　us　began　'My　dear　Bell。'　　If　it　is　a　secret；　indeed　I　will　keep　it。〃

〃It　is　no　secret　at　all；〃　said　Miss　Fosbrook；　laughing。　　〃My　name　is　Christabel　Angela。〃

Elizabeth　opened　her　eyes；　and　said　it　by　syllables。　　〃Christabel　Angela！　that's　a　prettier　name　than　Ida。　　Does　it　make　you　very　glad　to　have　it？〃

〃I　like　it　for　some　reasons；〃　said　Miss　Fosbrook；　smiling。

〃Oh；　tell　me！〃　cried　Bessie。　　〃Mamma　always　says　we　should　not　be　a　bit　happier　if　our　names　were　pretty　ones；　but　I　don't　know；　I　feel　as　if　one　would；　only　the　others　like　to　make　things　plainer　and　uglier　than　they　are。〃

〃I　never　could　call　your　name　ugly；　it　is　such　a　dignified；　old；　respectable　name。〃

〃Yes；　but　they　call　me　Betty！〃

〃And　they　call　me　Bell；　and　sometimes　Jelly…bag　and　Currant…jelly；〃　said　Miss　Fosbrook；　laughing　and　sighing；　for　she　would　have　liked　to　have　heard　those　funny　names　again。

〃Then　it　is　no　good　to　you！〃　exclaimed　Elizabeth。

〃I　don't　know　that　we　talk　of　good　in　such　a　matter。　　I　like　my　name　because　of　the　reason　it　was　given　to　me。〃

〃Oh；　why？〃　eagerly　asked　the　little　girl。

〃When　I　was　born；　my　papa　was　a　very　young　man；　and　he　was　very　fond　of　reading　poetry。〃

〃Why；　I　thought　your　papa　was　a　doctor。〃

〃Well！〃

〃I　thought　only　ladies；　and　poets；　and　idle　silly　people；　cared　for　poetry。〃

〃They　can　hardly　be　silly　if　they　care　rightly　for　real　poetry；　Bessie；〃　said　Miss　Fosbrook；　〃at　least；　so　my　papa　would　say。　　It　has　been　one　of　his　great　helps。　　Well；　in　those　days　he　was　very　fond　of　a　poem　about　a　lady　called　Christabel；　who　was　so　good　and　sweet；　that　when　evil　came　near；　it　could　not　touch　her　so　as　to　do　her　any　harm；　and　so　he　gave　his　little　daughter　her　name。〃

〃How　very　nice！〃　cried　Elizabeth。

〃You　must　not　envy　me；　my　dear；　for　I　have　been　a　good　deal　laughed　at　for　my　pretty　name；　and　so　has　Papa；　and　I　do　not　think　he　would　have　chosen　anything　so　fanciful　if　he　had　been　a　little　older。〃

〃Then　isn't　hewhat　is　it　you　call　itpoetical　now？〃

〃Indeed　he　is；　in　a　good　way；〃　and　as　the　earnest　eyes　looked　so　warmly　at　her；　Christabel　Fosbrook　could　not　help　making　a　friend　of　the　little　maiden。　　〃He　has　very　little　time　to　read　it；　for　you　know　he　is　a　parish　surgeon　in　a　great　parish　in　London；　full　of　poor　people；　worse　off　than　you　can　imagine；　and　often　very　ill。　　He　is　obliged　to　be　always　hard　at　work　in　the　narrow　close　streets　there；　and　to　see　everything　sad；　and　dismal；　and　disagreeable；　that　can　be　found；　but；　do　you　know；　Bessie；　he　always　looks　for　the　good　and　beautiful　side；　he　looks　at　one　person's　patience；　and　another　person's　kindness；　and　at　some　little　child's　love　for　its　mother　or　sister；　that　hinders　it　from　being　too　painful　for　him。〃

〃But　is　that　poetry？　　I　thought　poetry　meant　verses。〃

〃Verses　are　generally　the　best　and　most　suitable　way　of　expressing　our　feelings　about　what　is　good　and　beautiful；　but　they　are　not　always　poetry；　any　more　than　the　verses　they　sang　to…night　about　the　bread　and　butter；　because；　you　know；　wanting　thick　butter　was　not　exactly　a　beautiful　feeling。　　I　think　the　denying　themselves　their　little　indulgences　for　the　sake　of　giving　the　poor　woman　a　pig；　is　much　more　poetical；　though　nobody　said　a　word　in　verse。〃

They　both　laughed；　and　Elizabeth　said；　〃That　wasn't　what　you　meant　about　your　papa。　　Susy　cares　for　goodness。〃

〃No；　it　was　not　all　I　meant；　but　it　was　seeing　high　and　noble　thoughts　expressed　in　beautiful　verses　that　gives　him　pleasure；　and　when　he　has　a　little　bit　of　leisure；　it　is　his　great　treat　to　open　a　book　of　that　sort；　and　read　a　little　bit　to　us；　and　tell　us　why　we　like　it。　　He　says　it　makes　him　young　again；　and　takes　him　out　of　the　dingy　streets；　and　from　all　his　cares　as　to　how　the　bills　are　to　be　paid。〃

〃Did　you　like　coming　here？〃　was　Bessie's　home　question；　and　Miss　Fosbrook　winked　away　a　little　moisture；　as　she　said；

〃I　was　glad　to　be　growing　a　woman；　and　to　be　able　to　help　about　some　of　those　bills；　and　then　I　was　glad　to　come　into　the　beautiful　country　that　Papa　has　so　often　told　us　about。〃

〃I　did　not　know　there　was　anything　beautiful　here。〃

〃O　Bessie；　you　never　lived　in　London！　　You　can't　think　how　many　things　are　beautiful　to　me　here！　　I　want　to　be　writing　about　them　to　Papa　and　Kate　all　day　long。〃

〃Are　they？〃　said　Bessie。　　〃Mamma　has　pretty　things　in　the　drawing…　room；　but　she　keeps　them　out　of　the　way；　and　everything　here　is　so　dull　and　stupid！〃　and　the　little　girl　gave　a　yawn。

Miss　Fosbrook　understood　her。　　The　wainscoted　room　in　which　they　were　sitting　had　been　painted　of　a　uniform　creamy　brown；　the　chairs　were　worn；　the　table　was　blistered　and　cracked；　the　carpet　only　covered　the　middle　of　the　room；　and　was　so　threadbare；　that　only　a　little　red　showed　here　and　there。　　All　that　was　needful　was　there；　but　of　the　plainest　kind；　and　where　the　other　children　only　felt　ease　and　freedom；　and　were　the　more　contented　and　happy　for　the　homely　good　sense　of　all　around　them；　this　little　girl　felt　a　want　that　she　scarcely　understood；　but　which　made　her　uncomfortable　and　discontented；　even　when　she　had　so　much　to　be　thankful　for。

Miss　Fosbrook　moved　nearer　to　the　window。　　Down　below　there　was　certainly　not　much　to　be　seen；　only　Pierce　cleaning　the　knives　in　the　knife…house；　and　Martha　washing　out　her　pans　before　the　dairy…door；　but　that　was　not　where　she　looked。　　She　turned　the　little　half…　fretful　face　upwards。　　〃Look　there！〃　she　said；　〃and　talk　of　seeing　nothing　pretty！〃

〃I　see　nothing〃

〃Do　you　not　se