a personal record-第30章

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in　terms　of　eternity。　　It　is　all　very　well　for　him。　　His　race　is



run。　　But　I　may　find　myself　coming　out　of　this　room　into　the



world　of　men　a　stranger；　friendless；　forgotten　by　my　very



landlady；　even　were　I　able　after　this　endless　experience　to



remember　the　way　to　my　hired　home。〃　　This　statement　is　not　so



much　of　a　verbal　exaggeration　as　may　be　supposed。　　Some　very



queer　thoughts　passed　through　my　head　while　I　was　considering　my



answers；　thoughts　which　had　nothing　to　do　with　seamanship；　nor



yet　with　anything　reasonable　known　to　this　earth。　　I　verily



believe　that　at　times　I　was　light…headed　in　a　sort　of　languid



way。　　At　last　there　fell　a　silence；　and　that；　too；　seemed　to　last



for　ages；　while；　bending　over　his　desk；　the　examiner　wrote　out　my



pass…slip　slowly　with　a　noiseless　pen。　　He　extended　the　scrap　of



paper　to　me　without　a　word；　inclined　his　white　head　gravely　to　my



parting　bow。　。　。　。







When　I　got　out　of　the　room　I　felt　limply　flat；　like　a　squeezed



lemon；　and　the　doorkeeper　in　his　glass　cage；　where　I　stopped　to



get　my　hat　and　tip　him　a　shilling；　said：







〃Well！　　I　thought　you　were　never　coming　out。〃







〃How　long　have　I　been　in　there？〃　I　asked；　faintly。







He　pulled　out　his　watch。







〃He　kept　you；　sir；　just　under　three　hours。　I　don't　think　this



ever　happened　with　any　of　the　gentlemen　before。〃







It　was　only　when　I　got　out　of　the　building　that　I　began　to　walk



on　air。　　And　the　human　animal　being　averse　from　change　and　timid



before　the　unknown；　I　said　to　myself　that　I　really　would　not　mind



being　examined　by　the　same　man　on　a　future　occasion。　　But　when



the　time　of　ordeal　came　round　again　the　doorkeeper　let　me　into



another　room；　with　the　now　familiar　paraphernalia　of　models　of



ships　and　tackle；　a　board　for　signals　on　the　wall；　a　big；　long



table　covered　with　official　forms　and　having　an　unrigged　mast



fixed　to　the　edge。　　The　solitary　tenant　was　unknown　to　me　by



sight；　though　not　by　reputation；　which　was　simply　execrable。　



Short　and　sturdy；　as　far　as　I　could　judge；　clad　in　an　old　brown



morning…suit；　he　sat　leaning　on　his　elbow；　his　hand　shading　his



eyes；　and　half　averted　from　the　chair　I　was　to　occupy　on　the



other　side　of　the　table。　　He　was　motionless；　mysterious；　remote；



enigmatical；　with　something　mournful；　too；　in　the　pose；　like　that



statue　of　Giugliano　（I　think）　de　Medici　shading　his　face　on　the



tomb　by　Michael　Angelo；　though；　of　course；　he　was　far；　far　from



being　beautiful。　　He　began　by　trying　to　make　me　talk　nonsense。　



But　I　had　been　warned　of　that　fiendish　trait；　and　contradicted



him　with　great　assurance。　　After　a　while　he　left　off。　　So　far



good。　　But　his　immobility；　the　thick　elbow　on　the　table；　the



abrupt；　unhappy　voice；　the　shaded　and　averted　face　grew　more　and



more　impressive。　　He　kept　inscrutably　silent　for　a　moment；　and



then；　placing　me　in　a　ship　of　a　certain　size；　at　sea；　under



conditions　of　weather；　season；　locality；　etc。all　very　clear　and



preciseordered　me　to　execute　a　certain　manoeuvre。　　Before　I　was



half　through　with　it　he　did　some　material　damage　to　the　ship。　



Directly　I　had　grappled　with　the　difficulty　he　caused　another　to



present　itself；　and　when　that；　too；　was　met　he　stuck　another　ship



before　me；　creating　a　very　dangerous　situation。　　I　felt　slightly



outraged　by　this　ingenuity　in　piling　trouble　upon　a　man。







〃I　wouldn't　have　got　into　that　mess；〃　I　suggested；　mildly。　　〃I



could　have　seen　that　ship　before。〃







He　never　stirred　the　least　bit。







〃No；　you　couldn't。　　The　weather's　thick。〃







〃Oh！　　I　didn't　know；〃　I　apologized　blankly。







I　suppose　that　after　all　I　managed　to　stave　off　the　smash　with



sufficient　approach　to　verisimilitude；　and　the　ghastly　business



went　on。　　You　must　understand　that　the　scheme　of　the　test　he　was



applying　to　me　was；　I　gathered；　a　homeward　passagethe　sort　of



passage　I　would　not　wish　to　my　bitterest　enemy。　　That　imaginary



ship　seemed　to　labour　under　a　most　comprehensive　curse。　　It's　no



use　enlarging　on　these　never…ending　misfortunes；　suffice　it　to



say　that　long　before　the　end　I　would　have　welcomed　with　gratitude



an　opportunity　to　exchange　into　the　Flying　Dutchman。　　Finally　he



shoved　me　into　the　North　Sea　（I　suppose）　and　provided　me　with　a



lee　shore　with　outlying　sand…banksthe　Dutch　coast；　presumably。　



Distance；　eight　miles。　　The　evidence　of　such　implacable　animosity



deprived　me　of　speech　for　quite　half　a　minute。







〃Well；〃　he　saidfor　our　pace　had　been　very　smart；　indeed；　till



then。







〃I　will　have　to　think　a　little；　sir。〃







〃Doesn't　look　as　if　there　were　much　time　to　think；〃　he　muttered；



sardonically；　from　under　his　hand。







〃No；　sir；〃　I　said；　with　some　warmth。　　〃Not　on　board　a　ship；　I



could　see。　　But　so　many　accidents　have　happened　that　I　really



can't　remember　what　there's　left　for　me　to　work　with。〃







Still　half　averted；　and　with　his　eyes　concealed；　he　made



unexpectedly　a　grunting　remark。







〃You've　done　very　well。〃







〃Have　I　the　two　anchors　at　the　bow；　sir？〃　I　asked。







〃Yes。〃







I　prepared　myself　then；　as　a　last　hope　for　the　ship；　to　let　them



both　go　in　the　most　effectual　manner；　when　his　infernal　system　of



testing　resourcefulness　came　into　play　again。







〃But　there's　only　one　cable。　　You've　lost　the　other。〃







It　was　exasperating。







〃Then　I　would　back　them；　if　I　could；　and　tail　the　heaviest　hawser



on　board　on　the　end　of　the　chain　before　letting　go；　and　if　she



parted　from　that；　which　is　quite　likely；　I　would　just　do　nothing。







She　would　have　to　go。〃







〃Nothing　more　to　do；　eh？〃







〃No；　sir。　　I　could　do　no　more。〃







He　gave　a　bitter　half…laugh。







〃You　could　always　say　your　prayers。〃







He　got　up；　stretched　himself；　and　yawned　slightly。　　It　was　a



sallow；　strong；　unamiable　face。　　He　put　me；　in　a　surly；　bored



fashion；　through　the　usual　questions　as　to　lights　and　signals；



and　I　escaped　from　the　room　thank　fullypassed！　　Forty　minutes！　



And　again　I　walked　on　air　along　Tower　Hill；　where　so　many　good



men　had　lost　their　heads　because；　I　suppose；　they　were　not



resourceful　enough　to　save　them。　　And　in　my　heart　of　hearts　I　had



no　objection　to　meeting　that　examiner　once　more　when　the　third



and　last　ordeal　became　due　in　another　year　or　so。　　I　even　hoped　I



should。　　I　knew　the　worst　of　him　now；　and　forty　minutes　is　not　an



unreasonable　time。　　Yes；　I　distinctly　hoped。　。　。　。







But　not　a　bit　of　it。　　When　I　presented　my　self　to　be　examined　for



master　the　examiner　who　received　me　was　short；　plump；　with　a



round；　soft　face　in　gray；　fluffy　whiskers；　and　fresh；　loquacious



lips。







He　commenced　operations　with　an　easy　going　〃Let's　see。　　H'm。　



Suppose　you　tell　me　all　you　know　of　charter…parties。〃　　He　kept　it



up　in　that　style　all　through；　wandering　off　in　the　shape　of



comment　into　bits　out　of　his　own　life；　then　pulling　himself　up



short　and　returning　to　the　business　in　hand。　　It　was　very



interesting。　　〃What's　your　idea　of　a　jury…rudder　now？〃　he



queried；　suddenly；　at　the　end　of　an　instructive　anecdote　bearing



upon　a　point　of　stowage。







I　warned　him　that　I　had　no　experience　of　a　lost　rudder　at　sea；



and　gave　him　two　classical　examples　of　makeshifts　out　of　a



text…book。　　In　exchange　he　described　to　me　a　jury…rudder　he　had



invented　himself　years　before；　when　in　command　of　a



three…thousand…ton　steamer。　　It　was；　I　declare；　the　cleverest



contrivance　imaginable。　　〃May　be　of　use　to　you　some　day；〃　he