a personal record-第11章
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mighty strange that there was but one); a creature quite as
formidable under the circumstances as a lion; began to bark on
the other side of the fence。 。 。 。
At this stage of the narrative; which I heard many times (by
request) from the lips of Captain Nicholas B。's sister…in…law; my
grandmother; I used to tremble with excitement。
The dog barked。 And if he had done no more than bark; three
officers of the Great Napoleon's army would have perished
honourably on the points of Cossacks' lances; or perchance
escaping the chase would have died decently of starvation。 But
before they had time to think of running away that fatal and
revolting dog; being carried away by the excess of the zeal;
dashed out through a gap in the fence。 He dashed out and died。
His head; I understand; was severed at one blow from his body。 I
understand also that later on; within the gloomy solitudes of the
snow…laden woods; when; in a sheltering hollow; a fire had been
lit by the party; the condition of the quarry was discovered to
be distinctly unsatisfactory。 It was not thinon the contrary;
it seemed unhealthily obese; its skin showed bare patches of an
unpleasant character。 However; they had not killed that dog for
the sake of the pelt。 He was large。 。 。 。 He was eaten。 。 。 。
The rest is silence。 。 。 。
A silence in which a small boy shudders and says firmly:
〃I could not have eaten that dog。〃
And his grandmother remarks with a smile:
〃Perhaps you don't know what it is to be hungry。〃
I have learned something of it since。 Not that I have been
reduced to eat dog。 I have fed on the emblematical animal;
which; in the language of the volatile Gauls; is called la vache
enragee; I have lived on ancient salt junk; I know the taste of
shark; of trepang; of snake; of nondescript dishes containing
things without a namebut of the Lithuanian village dognever!
I wish it to be distinctly understood that it is not I; but my
granduncle Nicholas; of the Polish landed gentry; Chevalier de la
Legion d'Honneur; etc。; who in his young days; had eaten the
Lithuanian dog。
I wish he had not。 The childish horror of the deed clings
absurdly to the grizzled man。 I am perfectly helpless against
it。 Still; if he really had to; let us charitably remember that
he had eaten him on active service; while bearing up bravely
against the greatest military disaster of modern history; and; in
a manner; for the sake of his country。 He had eaten him to
appease his hunger; no doubt; but also for the sake of an
unappeasable and patriotic desire; in the glow of a great faith
that lives still; and in the pursuit of a great illusion kindled
like a false beacon by a great man to lead astray the effort of a
brave nation。
Pro patria!
Looked at in that light; it appears a sweet and decorous meal。
And looked at in the same light; my own diet of la vache enragee
appears a fatuous and extravagant form of self…indulgence; for
why should I; the son of a land which such men as these have
turned up with their plowshares and bedewed with their blood;
undertake the pursuit of fantastic meals of salt junk and
hardtack upon the wide seas? On the kindest view it seems an
unanswerable question。 Alas! I have the conviction that there
are men of unstained rectitude who are ready to murmur scornfully
the word desertion。 Thus the taste of innocent adventure may be
made bitter to the palate。 The part of the inexplicable should
be al lowed for in appraising the conduct of men in a world where
no explanation is final。 No charge of faithlessness ought to be
lightly uttered。 The appearances of this perishable life are
deceptive; like everything that falls under the judgment of our
imperfect senses。 The inner voice may remain true enough in its
secret counsel。 The fidelity to a special tradition may last
through the events of an unrelated existence; following
faithfully; too; the traced way of an inexplicable impulse。
It would take too long to explain the intimate alliance of
contradictions in human nature which makes love itself wear at
times the desperate shape of betrayal。 And perhaps there is no
possible explanation。 Indulgenceas somebody saidis the most
intelligent of all the virtues。 I venture to think that it is
one of the least common; if not the most uncommon of all。 I
would not imply by this that men are foolishor even most men。
Far from it。 The barber and the priest; backed by the whole
opinion of the village; condemned justly the conduct of the
ingenious hidalgo; who; sallying forth from his native place;
broke the head of the muleteer; put to death a flock of
inoffensive sheep; and went through very doleful experiences in a
certain stable。 God forbid that an unworthy churl should escape
merited censure by hanging on to the stirrup…leather of the
sublime caballero。 His was a very noble; a very unselfish
fantasy; fit for nothing except to raise the envy of baser
mortals。 But there is more than one aspect to the charm of that
exalted and dangerous figure。 He; too; had his frailties。 After
reading so many romances he desired naively to escape with his
very body from the intolerable reality of things。 He wished to
meet; eye to eye; the valorous giant Brandabarbaran; Lord of
Arabia; whose armour is made of the skin of a dragon; and whose
shield; strapped to his arm; is the gate of a fortified city。
Oh; amiable and natural weakness! Oh; blessed simplicity of a
gentle heart without guile! Who would not succumb to such a
consoling temptation? Nevertheless; it was a form of
self…indulgence; and the ingenious hidalgo of La Mancha was not a
good citizen。 The priest and the barber were not unreasonable in
their strictures。 Without going so far as the old King
Louis…Philippe; who used to say in his exile; 〃The people are
never in fault〃one may admit that there must be some
righteousness in the assent of a whole village。 Mad! Mad! He
who kept in pious meditation the ritual vigil…of…arms by the well
of an inn and knelt reverently to be knighted at daybreak by the
fat; sly rogue of a landlord has come very near perfection。 He
rides forth; his head encircled by a halothe patron saint of
all lives spoiled or saved by the irresistible grace of
imagination。 But he was not a good citizen。
Perhaps that and nothing else was meant by the well…remembered
exclamation of my tutor。
It was in the jolly year 1873; the very last year in which I have
had a jolly holiday。 There have been idle years afterward; jolly
enough in a way and not altogether without their lesson; but this
year of which I speak was the year of my last school…boy holiday。
There are other reasons why I should remember that year; but they
are too long to state formally in this place。 Moreover; they
have nothing to do with that holiday。 What has to do with the
holiday is that before the day on which the remark was made we
had seen Vienna; the Upper Danube; Munich; the Falls of the
Rhine; the Lake of Constance;in fact; it was a memorable
holiday of travel。 Of late we had been tramping slowly up the
Valley of the Reuss。 It was a delightful time。 It was much more
like a stroll than a tramp。 Landing from a Lake of Lucerne
steamer in Fluelen; we found ourselves at the end of the second
day; with the dusk overtaking our leisurely footsteps; a little
way beyond Hospenthal。 This is not th