treatises on friendship and old age-第7章

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us　nothing　better　or　more　delightful。

But　let　us　examine　the　two　doctrines。　What　is　the　value　of　this　〃
freedom　from　care〃？　It　is　very　tempting　at　first　sight；　but　in
practice　it　has　in　many　cases　to　be　put　on　one　side。　For　there　is　no
business　and　no　course　of　action　demanded　from　us　by　our　honour
which　you　can　consistently　decline；　or　lay　aside　when　begun；　from
a　mere　wish　to　escape　from　anxiety。　Nay；　if　we　wish　to　avoid
anxiety　we　must　avoid　virtue　itself；　which　necessarily　involves
some　anxious　thoughts　in　showing　its　loathing　and　abhorrence　for
the　qualities　which　are　opposite　to　itself…as　kindness　for　ill…nature；
self…control　for　licentiousness；　courage　for　cowardice。　Thus　you
may　notice　that　it　is　the　just　who　are　most　pained　at　injustice；　the
brave　at　cowardly　actions；　the　temperate　at　depravity。　It　is　then
characteristic　of　a　rightly　ordered　mind　to　be　pleased　at　what　is
good　and　grieved　at　the　reverse。　Seeing　then　that　the　wise　are　not
exempt　from　the　heart…ache　（which　must　be　the　case　unless　we
suppose　all　human　nature　rooted　out　of　their　hearts）；　why　should
we　banish　friendship　from　our　lives；　for　fear　of　being　involved　by
it　in　some　amount　of　distress？　If　you　take　away　emotion；　what
difference　remains　I　don't　say　between　a　man　and　a　beast；　but
between　a　man　and　a　stone　or　a　log　of　wood；　or　anything　else　of
that　kind？

Neither　should　we　give　any　weight　to　the　doctrine　that　virtue　is
something　rigid　and　unyielding　as　iron。　　In　point　of　fact　it　is　in
regard　to　friendship；　as　in　so　many　other　things；　so　supple　and
sensitive　that　it　expands；　so　to　speak；　at　a　friend's　good　fortune；
contracts　at　his　misfortunes。　We　conclude　then　that　mental　pain
which　we　must　often　encounter　on　a　friend's　account　is　not　of
sufficient　consequence　to　banish　friendship　from　our　life；　any
more　than　it　is　true　that　the　cardinal　virtues　are　to　be　dispensed
with　because　they　involve　certain　anxieties　and　distresses。

14。　Let　me　repeat　then；　〃the　clear　indication　of　virtue；　to　which　a
mind　of　like　character　is　naturally　attracted；　is　the　beginning　of
friendship。〃　When　that　is　the　case　the　rise　of　affection　is　a
necessity。　For　what　can　be　more　irrational　than　to　take　delight　in
many　objects　incapable　of　response；　such　as　office；　fame；　splendid
buildings；　and　personal　decoration；　and　yet　to　take　little　or　none　in
a　sentient　being　endowed　with　virtue；　which　has　the　faculty　of
loving　or；　if　I　may　use　the　expression；　loving　back？　For　nothing　is
really　more　delightful　than　a　return　of　affection；　and　the　mutual
interchange　of　kind　feeling　and　good　offices。　And　if　we　add；　as　we
may　fairly　do；　that　nothing　so　powerfully　attracts　and　draws　one
thing　to　itself　as　likeness　does　to　friendship；　it　wilt　at　once　be
admitted　to　be　true　that　the　good　love　the　good　and　attach　them　to
themselves　as　though　they　were　united　by　blood　and　nature。　For
nothing　can　be　more　eager；　or　rather　greedy；　for　what　is　like　itself
than　nature。　So；　my　dear　Fannius　and　Scaevola；　we　may　look　upon
this　as　an　established　fact；　that　between　good　men　there　is；　as　it
were　of　necessity；　a　kindly　feeling；　which　is　the　source　of
friendship　ordained　by　nature。　　But　this　same　kindliness　affects　the
many　also。　　For　that　is　no　unsympathetic　or　selfish　or　exclusive
virtue；　which　protects　even　whole　nations　and　consults　their　best
interests。　And　that　certainly　it　would　not　have　done　had　it
disdained　all　affection　for　the　common　herd。

Again；　the　believers　in　the　〃interest〃　theory　appear　to　me　to　destroy
the　most　attractive　link　in　the　chain　of　friendship。　For　it　is　not　so
much　what　one　gets　by　a　friend　that　gives　one　pleasure；　as　the
warmth　of　his　feeling；　and　we　only　care　for　a　friend's　service　if　it
has　been　prompted　by　affection。　And　so　far　from　its　being　true　that
lack　of　means　is　a　motive　for　seeking　friendship；　it　is　usually　those
who　being　most　richly　endowed　with　wealth　and　means；　and　above
all　with　virtue　（which；　after　all；　is　a　man's　best　support）；　are　least
in　need　of　another；　that　are　most　openhanded　and　beneficent。
Indeed　I　am　inclined　to　think　that　friends　ought　at　times　to　be　in
want　of　something。　For　instance；　what　scope　would　my　affections
have　had　if　Scipio　had　never　wanted　my　advice　or　co…operation　at
home　or　abroad？　It　is　not　friendship；　then；　that　follows　material
advantage；　but　material　advantage　friendship。

15。　We　must　not　therefore　listen　to　these　superfine　gentlemen
when　they　talk　of　friendship；　which　they　know　neither　in　theory
nor　in　practice。　For　who；　in　heaven's　name；　would　choose　a　life　of
the　greatest　wealth　and　abundance　on　condition　of　neither　loving
or　being　beloved　by　any　creature？　That　is　the　sort　of　life　tyrants
endure。　They；　of　course；　can　count　on　no　fidelity；　no　affection；　no
security　for　the　goodwill　of　any　one。　For　them　all　is　suspicion　and
anxiety；　for　them　there　is　no　possibility　of　friendship。　Who　can
love　one　whom　he　fears；　or　by　whom　he　knows　that　he　is　feared？
Yet　such　men　have　a　show　of　friendship　offered　them；　but　it　is
only　a　fair…weather　show。　If　it　ever　happen　that　they　fall；　as　it
generally　does；　they　will　at　once　understand　how　friendless　they
are。　　So　they　say　Tarquin　observed　in　his　exile　that　he　never　knew
which　of　his　friends　were　real　and　which　sham；　until　he　had　ceased
to　be　able　to　repay　either。　　Though　what　surprises　me　is　that　a　man
of　his　proud　and　overbearing　character　should　have　a　friend　at　all。
And　as　it　was　his　character　that　prevented　his　having　genuine
friends；　so　it　often　happens　in　the　case　of　men　of　unusually　great
means…their　very　wealth　forbids　faithful　friendships。　For　not　only　is
Fortune　blind　herself；　but　she　generally　makes　those　blind　also
who　enjoy　her　favours。　They　are　carried；　so　to　speak；　beyond
themselves　with　self…conceit　and　self…will；　nor　can　anything　be
more　perfectly　intolerable　than　a　successful　fool。　　You　may　often
see　it。　Men　who　before　had　pleasant　manners　enough　undergo　a
complete　change　on　attaining　power　of　office。　They　despise　their
old　friends：　devote　themselves　to　new。

Now；　can　anything　be　more　foolish　than　that　men　who　have　all　the
opportunities　which　prosperity；　wealth；　and　great　means　can
bestow；　should　secure　all　else　which　monev　can　buy…horses；
servants；　splendid　upholstering；　and　costly　plate…but　do　not　secure
friends；　who　are；　if　I　may　use　the　expression；　the　most　valuable
and　beautiful　furniture　of　life？　　And　yet；　when　they　acquire　the
former；　they　know　not　who　will　enjoy　them；　nor　for　whom　they
may　be　taking　all　this　trouble；　for　they　will　one　and　all　eventually
belong　to　the　strongest：　while　each　man　has　a　stable　and
inalienable　ownership　in　his　friendships。　And　even　if　those
possessions；　which　are；　in　a　manner；　the　gifts　of　fortune；　do　prove
permanent；　life　can　never　be　anything　but　joyless　which　is　without
the　consolations　and　companionship　of　friends。

16。　To　turn　to　another　branch　of　our　subject。　　We　must　now
endeavour　to　ascertain　what　limits　are　to　be　observed　in
friendship…what　is　the　boundary…line；　so　to　speak；　beyond　which
our　affection　is　not　to　go。　On　this　point　I　notice　three　opinions；
with　none　of　which　I　agree。　One　is　_that　we　should　love　our　friend
just　as　much　as　we　love　ourselves；　and　no　more；　another；　that　our
affection　to　them　should　exactly　correspond　and　equal　theirs　to　us；
a　third；　that　a　man　should　be　valued　at　exactly　the　same　rate　as　he
values　himself_。　To　not　one　of　these　opinions　do　I　assent。　　The
first；　which　holds　that　our　regard　for　ourselves　is　to　be　the　measure
of　our　regard　for　our　friend；　is　not　true；　for　how　many　things　there
are　which　we　would　never　have　done　for　our　own　sakes；　but　do　for
the　sake　of　a　friend！　We　submit　to　make　requests　from　unworthy
people；　to　descend　even　to　supplication；　to　be　sharper　in　invective；
more　violent　in　attack。　Such　actions　are　nut　creditable　in　our　own
interests；　but　highly　so　in　those　of　our　friends。　There　are　many
advantages　too　which　men　of　upright　character　voluntarily　forego；
or　of　whichh　they　are　content　to　be　deprived；　that　their　friends　may
enjoy　them　rather　than　themselves。

The　second　doctrine　is　that　which　limits　friendship　to　an　exact
equality　in　mutual　good　offices　and　good　feelin