treatises on friendship and old age-第11章

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without　bitterness；　if　we　reprove；　there　should　be　no　word　of
insult。　In　the　matter　of　compliance　（for　I　am　glad　to　adopt
Terence's　word）；　though　there　should　be　every　courtesy；　yet　that
base　kind　which　assists　a　man　in　vice　should　be　far　from　us；　for　it
is　unworthy　of　a　free…born　man；　to　say　nothing　of　a　friend。　It　is　one
thing　to　live　with　a　tyrant；　another　with　a　friend。　But　if　a　man's　ears
are　so　closed　to　plain　speaking　that　be　cannot　hear　to　hear　the　truth
from　a　friend；　we　may　give　him　〃p　in　despair。　This　remark　of
Cato's；　as　so　many　of　his　did；　shews　great　acuteness：　〃There　are
people　who　owe　more　to　bitter　enemies　than　to　apparently　pleasant
friends：　the　former　often　speak　the　truth；　the　latter　never。〃　Besides；
it　is　a　strange　paradox　that　the　recipients　of　advice　should　feel　no
annoyance　where　they　ought　to　feel　it；　and　yet　feel　so　much　where
they　ought　not。　They　are　not　at　all　vexed　at　having　committed　a
fault；　but　very　angry　at　being　reproved　for　it。　　On　the　contrary；　they
ought　to　be　grieved　at　the　crime　and　glad　of　the　correction。

25。　Well；　then；　if　it　is　true　that　to　give　and　receive　advice
…the　former　with　freedom　and　yet　without　bitterness；　the　latter　with
patience　and　without　irritation…is　peculiarly　appropriate　to　genuine
friendship；　it　is　no　less　true　that　there　can　be　nothing　more　utterly
subversive　of　friendship　than　flattery；　adulation；　and　base
compliance。　　I　use　as　many　terms　as　possible　to　brand　this　vice　of
light…minded；　untrustworthy　men；　whose　sole　object　in　speaking　is
to　please　with…out　any　regard　to　truth。　In　everything　false　pretence
is　bad。　for　it　suspends　and　vitiates　our　power　of　discerning　the
truth。　But　to　nothing　it　is　so　hostile　as　to　friendship；　for　it　destroys
that　frankness　without　which　friendship　is　an　empty　name。　For　the
essence　of　friendship　being　that　two　minds　become　as　one；　how
can　that　ever　take　place　if　the　mind　of　each　of　the　separate　parties
to　it　is　not　single　and　uniform；　but　variable；　changeable；　and
complex？　　Can　anything　be　so　pliable；　so　wavering；　as　the　mind　of
a　man　whose　attitude　depends　not　only　on　another's　feeling　and
wish；　but　on　his　very　looks　and　nods？

If　one　says　〃No；〃　I　answer　〃No〃　；　if　〃Yes；〃　I　answer　〃Yes。〃
In　fine；　I've　laid　this　task　upon　myself
To　echo　all　that's　said…

to　quote　my　old　friend　Terence　again。　　But　he　puts　these　words
into　the　mouth　of　a　Gnatho。　　To　admit　such　a　man　into　one's
intimacy　at　all　is　a　sign　of　folly。　　But　there　are　many　people　like
Gnatho；　and　it　is　when　they　are　superior　either　in　position　or
fortune　or　reputation　that　their　flatteries　become　mischievous；　the
weight　of　their　position　making　up　for　the　lightness　of　their
character。　　But　if　we　only　take　reasonable　care；　it　is　as　easy　to
separate　and　distinguish　a　genuine　from　a　specious　friend　as
anything　else　that　is　coloured　and　artificial　from　what　is　sincere
and　genuine。　A　public　assembly；　though　composed　of　men　of　the
smallest　possible　culture；　nevertheless　will　see　clearly　the
difference　between　a　mere　demagogue　（that　is；　a　flatterer　and
untrustworthy　citizen）　and　a　man　of　principle；　standing；　and
solidity。　It　was　by　this　kind　of　flattering　language　that　Gaius
Papirius　the　other　day　endeavoured　to　tickle　the　ears　of　the
assembled　people；　when　proposing　his　law　to　make　the　tribunes
re…eligible。　　I　spoke　against　it。　　But　I　will　leave　the　personal
question。　　I　prefer　speaking　of　Scipio。　　Good　heavens！　how
impressive　his　speech　was；　what　a　majesty　there　was　in　it！　　You
would　have　pronounced　him；　without　hesitation；　to　be　no　mere
henchman　of　the　Roman　people；　but　their　leader。　However；　you
were　there；　and　moreover　have　the　speech　in　your　hands。　　The
result　was　that　a　law　meant　to　please　the　people　was　by　the
people's　votes　rejected。　　Once　more　to　refer　to　myself；　you
remember　how　apparently　popular　was　the　law　proposed　by　Gaius
Licinius　Crassus　〃about　the　election　to　the　College　of　Priests〃　in
the　consulship　of　Quintus　Maximus；　Scipio's　brother；　and　Lucius
Mancinus。　　For　the　power　of　filling　up　their　own　vacancies　on　the
part　of　the　colleges　was　by　this　proposal　to　be　transferred　to　the
people。　It　was　this　man；　by　the　way；　who　began　the　practice　of
twrning　towards　the　forum　when　addressing　the　people。　　In　spite　of
this；　however；　upon　my　speaking　on　the　conservative　side；　religion
gained　an　easy　victory　over　his
plausible　speech。　This　took　place　in　my　praetorship；　five　years
before　I　was　elected　consul；　which　shows　that　the　cause　was
successfully　maintained　more　by　the　merits　of　the　case　than　by　the
prestige　of　the　highest　office。

26。　Now；　if　on　a　stage；　such　as　a　public　assembly　essentially　is；
where　there　is　the　amplest　room　for　fiction　and　half…truths；　truth
nevertheless　prevails　if　it　be　but　fairly　laid　open　and　brought　into
the　light　of　day；　what　ought　to　happen　in　the　case　of　friendship；
which　rests　entirely　on　truthfulness？　Friendship；　in　which；　unless
you　both　see　and　show　an　open　breast；　to　use　a　common
expression；　you　can　neither　trust　nor　be　certain　of　anything…no；　not
even　of　mutual　affection；　since　you　cannot　be　sure　of　its　sincerity。　
However；　this　flattery；　injurious　as　it　is；　can　hurt　no　one　but　the
man　who　takes　it　in　and　likes　it。　And　it　follows　that　the　man　to
open　his　ears　widest　to　flatterers　is　he　who　first　flatters　himself　and
is　fondest　of　himself。　　I　grant　you　that　Virtue　naturally　loves
herself；　for　she　knows　herself　and　perceives　how　worthy　of　love
she　is。　But　I　am　not　now　speaking　of　absolute　virtue；　but　of　the
belief　men　have　that　they　possess　virtue。　The　fact　is　that　fewer
people　are　endowed　with　virtue　than　wish　to　be　thought　to　be　so。　It
is　such　people　that　take　delight　in　flattery。　　When　they　are
addressed　in　language　expressly　adapted　to　flatter　their　vanity；　they
look　upon　such　empty　persiflage　as　a　testimony　to　the　truth　of　their
own　praises。　　It　is　not　then　properly　friendship　at　all　when　the　one
will　not　listen　to　the　truth；　and　the　other　is　prepared　to　lie。　Nor
would　the　servility　of　parasites　in　comedy　have　seemed　humorous
to　us　had　there　been　no　such　things　as　braggart　captains。　〃Is
Thais　really　much　obliged　to　me？〃　　It　would　have　been　quite
enough　to　answer　〃Much；〃　but　he　must　needs　say　〃Immensely。〃　
Your　servile　flatterer　always　exaggerates　what　his　victim　wishes　to
be　put　strongly。　　Wherefore；　though　it　is　with　those　who　catch　at
and　invite　it　that　this　flattering　falsehood　is　especially　powerful；
yet　men　even　of　solider　and　steadier　character　must　be　warned　tn
be　on　the　watch　against　being　taken　in　by　cunningly　disguised
flattery。　An　open　flatterer　any　one　can　detect；　unless　he　is　an
absolute　fool　the　covert　insinuation　of　the　cunning　and　the　sly　is
what　we　have　to　be　studiously　on　our　guard　against。　　His　detection
is　not　by　any　means　the　easiest　thing　in　the　world；　for　he　often
covers　his　servility　under　the　guise　of　contradiction；　and　flatters　by
pretending　to　dispute；　and　then　at　last　giving　in　and　allowing
himself　to　be　beaten；　that　the　person　hoodwinked　may　think
himself　to　have　been　the　clearer…sighted。　Now　what　can　be　more
degrading　than　to　be　thus　hoodwinked？　You　must　be　on　your　guard
against　this　happening　to　you；　like　the　man　in　the　_Heiress_：

How　have　I　been　befooled！　no　drivelling　dotards　
On　any　stage　were　e'er　so　p1ayed　upon。

For　even　on　the　stage　we　have　no　grosser　representation　of　folly
than　that　of　short…sighted　and　credulous　old　men。　But　somehow　or
other　I　have　strayed　away　from　the　friendship　of　the　perfect；　that　is
of　the　〃wise〃　（meaning；　of　course；　such　〃wisdom〃　as　human　nature
is　capable　of）；　to　the　subject　of　vulgar；　unsubstantial　friendships。　
Let　us　then　return　to　our　original　theme；　and　at　length　bring　that；
too；　to　a　conclusion。

27。　Well；　then；　Fannius　and　Mucius；　I　repeat　what　I　said　before。　　It
is　virtue；　virtue；　which　both　creates　and　preserves　friendship。　　On　it
depends　harmony　of　interest；　permanence；　fidelity。　　When　Virtue
has　reared　her　head　and　shewn　the　light　of　her　countenance；　and
seen　and　recognised　the　same　light　in　another；　she　gravitates
towards　it；　and　in　her　turn　welcomes　that　which　the　other　has　to
shew；　and　from　it　springs　up　a　flame　which　you　may　call　love