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第14章

the unbearable bassington-第14章

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diversion; and Serena's party was a comparatively small one。  Only 

one table was incomplete when Francesca made her appearance on the 

scene; at it was seated Serena herself; confronted by Ada 

Spelvexit; whom everyone was wont to explain as 〃one of the 

Cheshire Spelvexits;〃 as though any other variety would have been 

intolerable。  Ada Spelvexit was one of those naturally stagnant 

souls who take infinite pleasure in what are called 〃movements。〃  

〃Most of the really great lessons I have learned have been taught 

me by the Poor;〃 was one of her favourite statements。  The one 

great lesson that the Poor in general would have liked to have 

taught her; that their kitchens and sickrooms were not unreservedly 

at her disposal as private lecture halls; she had never been able 

to assimilate。  She was ready to give them unlimited advice as to 

how they should keep the wolf from their doors; but in return she 

claimed and enforced for herself the penetrating powers of an east 

wind or a dust storm。  Her visits among her wealthier acquaintances 

were equally extensive and enterprising; and hardly more welcome; 

in country…house parties; while partaking to the fullest extent of 

the hospitality offered her; she made a practice of unburdening 

herself of homilies on the evils of leisure and luxury; which did 

not particularly endear her to her fellow guests。  Hostesses 

regarded her philosophically as a form of social measles which 

everyone had to have once。



The third prospective player; Francesca noted without any special 

enthusiasm; was Lady Caroline Benaresq。  Lady Caroline was far from 

being a remarkably good bridge player; but she always managed to 

domineer mercilessly over any table that was favoured with her 

presence; and generally managed to win。  A domineering player 

usually inflicts the chief damage and demoralisation on his 

partner; Lady Caroline's special achievement was to harass and 

demoralise partner and opponents alike。



〃Weak and weak;〃 she announced in her gentle voice; as she cut her 

hostess for a partner; 〃I suppose we had better play only five 

shillings a hundred。〃



Francesca wondered at the old woman's moderate assessment of the 

stake; knowing her fondness for highish play and her usual good 

luck in card holding。



〃I don't mind what we play;〃 said Ada Spelvexit; with an incautious 

parade of elegant indifference; as a matter of fact she was 

inwardly relieved and rejoicing at the reasonable figure proposed 

by Lady Caroline; and she would certainly have demurred if a higher 

stake had been suggested。  She was not as a rule a successful 

player; and money lost at cards was always a poignant bereavement 

to her。



〃Then as you don't mind we'll make it ten shillings a hundred;〃 

said Lady Caroline; with the pleased chuckle of one who has spread 

a net in the sight of a bird and disproved the vanity of the 

proceeding。



It proved a tiresome ding…dong rubber; with the strength of the 

cards slightly on Francesca's side; and the luck of the table going 

mostly the other way。  She was too keen a player not to feel a 

certain absorption in the game once it had started; but she was 

conscious to…day of a distracting interest that competed with the 

momentary importance of leads and discards and declarations。  The 

little accumulations of talk that were unpent during the dealing of 

the hands became as noteworthy to her alert attention as the play 

of the hands themselves。



〃Yes; quite a small party this afternoon;〃 said Serena; in reply to 

a seemingly casual remark on Francesca's part; 〃and two or three 

non…players; which is unusual on a Wednesday。  Canon Besomley was 

here just before you came; you know; the big preaching man。〃



〃I've been to hear him scold the human race once or twice;〃 said 

Francesca。



〃A strong man with a wonderfully strong message;〃 said Ada 

Spelvexit; in an impressive and assertive tone。



〃The sort of popular pulpiteer who spanks the vices of his age and 

lunches with them afterwards;〃 said Lady Caroline。



〃Hardly a fair summary of the man and his work;〃 protested Ada。  

〃I've been to hear him many times when I've been depressed or 

discouraged; and I simply can't tell you the impression his words 

leave … 〃



〃At least you can tell us what you intend to make trumps;〃 broke in 

Lady Caroline; gently。



〃Diamonds;〃 pronounced Ada; after a rather flurried survey of her 

hand。



〃Doubled;〃 said Lady Caroline; with increased gentleness; and a few 

minutes later she was pencilling an addition of twenty…four to her 

score。



〃I stayed with his people down in Herefordshire last May;〃 said 

Ada; returning to the unfinished theme of the Canon; 〃such an 

exquisite rural retreat; and so restful and healing to the nerves。  

Real country scenery; apple blossom everywhere。〃



〃Surely only on the apple trees;〃 said Lady Caroline。



Ada Spelvexit gave up the attempt to reproduce the decorative 

setting of the Canon's homelife; and fell back on the small but 

practical consolation of scoring the odd trick in her opponent's 

declaration of hearts。



〃If you had led your highest club to start with; instead of the 

nine; we should have saved the trick;〃 remarked Lady Caroline to 

her partner in a tone of coldly; gentle reproof; 〃it's no use; my 

dear;〃 she continued; as Serena flustered out a halting apology; 

〃no earthly use to attempt to play bridge at one table and try to 

see and hear what's going on at two or three other tables。〃



〃I can generally manage to attend to more than one thing at a 

time;〃 said Serena; rashly; 〃I think I must have a sort of double 

brain。〃



〃Much better to economise and have one really good one;〃 observed 

Lady Caroline。



〃LA BELLE DAME SANS MERCI scoring a verbal trick or two as usual;〃 

said a player at another table in a discreet undertone。



〃Did I tell you Sir Edward Roan is coming to my next big evening;〃 

said Serena; hurriedly; by way; perhaps; of restoring herself a 

little in her own esteem。



〃Poor dear; good Sir Edward。  What have you made trumps?〃 asked 

Lady Caroline; in one breath。



〃Clubs;〃 said Francesca; 〃and pray; why these adjectives of 

commiseration?〃



Francesca was a Ministerialist by family interest and allegiance; 

and was inclined to take up the cudgels at the suggested 

disparagement aimed at the Foreign Secretary。



〃He amuses me so much;〃 purred Lady Caroline。  Her amusement was 

usually of the sort that a sporting cat derives from watching the 

Swedish exercises of a well…spent and carefully thought…out mouse。



〃Really?  He has been rather a brilliant success at the Foreign 

Office; you know;〃 said Francesca。



〃He reminds one so of a circus elephant … infinitely more 

intelligent than the people who direct him; but quite content to go 

on putting his foot down or taking it up as may be required; quite 

unconcerned whether he steps on a meringue or a hornet's nest in 

the process of going where he's expected to go。〃



〃How can you say such things?〃 protested Francesca。



〃I can't;〃 said Lady Caroline; 〃Courtenay Youghal said it in the 

House last night。  Didn't you read the debate?  He was really 

rather in form。  I disagree entirely with his point of view; of 

course; but some of the things he says have just enough truth 

behind them to redeem them from being merely smart; for instance; 

his summing up of the Government's attitude towards our 

embarrassing Colonial Empire in the wistful phrase 'happy is the 

country that has no geography。'〃



〃What an absurdly unjust thing to say;〃 put in Francesca; 〃I 

daresay some of our Party at some time have taken up that attitude; 

but every one knows that Sir Edward is a sound Imperialist at 

heart。〃



〃Most politicians are something or other at heart; but no one would 

be rash enough to insure a politician against heart failure。  

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