thais-第34章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



〃Why　should　I　stay？〃　she　said。　〃The　shadow　of　a　shadow　is　enough　for　a
lover　endowed　with　such　a　lively　imagination。　Besides；　you　have
sinned。　What　more　was　needed？〃

Paphnutius　wept　in　the　night；　and　when　the　dawn　came；　he　murmured　a
prayer　that　was　a　meek　complaint

〃Jesus；　my　Jesus；　why　hast　Thou　forsaken　me！　Thou　seest　the　danger　in
which　I　am。　Come；　and　help　me；　sweet　Saviour。　Since　Thy　Father　no
longer　loves　me；　and　does　not　hear　me；　remember　that　I　have　but　Thee。
From　Him　nothing　is　to　be　hoped；　I　cannot　comprehend　Him；　and　He
cannot　pity　me。　But　Thou　was　born　of　a　woman；　and　that　is　why　I　trust
in　Thee。　Remember　that　Thou　wast　a　man。　I　pray　to　Thee；　not　because
Thou　art　God　of　God；　Light　of　light；　very　God　of　very　God；　but　because
Thou　hast　lived　poor　and　humble　on　this　earth　where　now　I　suffer；
because　Satan　has　tempted　Thy　flesh；　because　the　sweat　of　agony　has
bedewed　Thy　face。　It　is　to　Thy　humanity　that　I　pray；　Jesus；　my　brother
Jesus！〃

When　he　had　thus　prayed；　wringing　his　hands；　a　terrible　peal　of
laughter　shook　the　walls　of　the　tomb；　and　the　voice　which　rang　in　his
ears　on　the　top　of　the　column；　said　jeeringly

〃That　is　a　prayer　worthy　of　the　breviary　of　Marcus；　the　heretic。
Paphnutius　is　an　Arian！　Paphnutius　is　an　Arian！〃

As　though　thunderstruck；　the　monk　fell　senseless。

*****

When　he　reopened　his　eyes；　he　saw　around　him　monks　wearing　black
hoods；　who　poured　water　on　his　temples；　and　recited　exorcisms。　Many
others　were　standing　outside；　carrying　palm　leaves。

〃As　we　passed　through　the　desert；〃　said　one　of　them；　〃we　heard　cries
issuing　from　this　tomb；　and；　having　entered；　we　found　you　lying
unconscious　on　the　floor。　Doubtless　the　devils　had　thrown　you　down；
and　had　fled　at　our　approach。〃

Paphnutius；　raising　his　head；　asked　in　a　feeble　voice

〃Who　are　you；　my　brothers？　And　why　do　you　carry　palms　in　your　hands？
Is　it　for　my　burial？〃

One　of　them　replied

〃Brother；　do　you　not　know　that　our　father；　Anthony；　now　a　hundred　and
five　years　old；　having　been　warned　of　his　approaching　end；　has　come
down　from　Mount　Colzin；　to　which　he　had　retired；　to　bless　his　numerous
spiritual　children？　We　are　going　with　palm　leaves　to　greet　our　holy
father。　But　how　is　it；　brother；　that　you　are　ignorant　of　such　a　great
event？　Can　it　be　possible　that　no　angel　came　to　this　tomb　to　inform
you？〃

〃Alas！〃　replied　Paphnutius；　〃I　am　not　worthy　of　such　a　favour；　and　the
only　denizens　of　this　abode　are　demons　and　vampires。　Pray　for　me。　I　am
Paphnutius；　Abbot　of　Antinoe；　the　most　wretched　of　the　servants　of
God。〃

At　the　name　of　Paphnutius；　all　waved　their　palm　leaves　and　murmured
his　praises。　The　monk　who　had　previously　spoken；　cried　in　surprise

〃Can　it　be　that　thou　art　that　holy　Paphnutius；　celebrated　for　so　many
works　that　it　was　supposed　he　would　some　day　equal　the　great　Anthony
himself？　Most　venerable；　it　was　thou　who　convertedst　to　God　the
courtesan；　Thais；　and　who；　raised　upon　a　high　column；　was　carried　away
by　the　seraphs。　Those　who　watched　by　night；　at　the　foot　of　the　pillar；
saw　thy　blessed　assumption。　The　wings　of　the　angels　encircled　thee　in
a　white　cloud；　and　with　thy　right　hand　extended　thou　didst　bless　the
dwellings　of　man。　The　next　day；　when　the　people　saw　thou　wert　no
longer　there；　a　long　groan　rose　to　the　summit　of　the　discrowned
pillar。　But　Flavian；　thy　disciple；　reported　the　miracle；　and　took　thy
place　as　the　head。　But　a　foolish　man；　of　the　name　of　Paul；　tried　to
contradict　the　general　opinion。　He　asserted　that　he　had　seen　thee；　in
a　dream；　carried　away　by　the　devils；　the　people　wanted　to　stone　him；
and　it　was　a　miracle　that　he　escaped　death。　I　am　Zozimus；　abbot　of
these　solitary　monks　whom　thou　seest　prostrate　at　thy　feet。　Like　them；
I　kneel　before　thee；　that　thou　mayest　bless　the　father　with　the
children。　Then　thou　shalt　relate　to　us　the　marvels　which　God　has
deigned　to　accomplish　by　thy　means。〃

〃Far　from　having　favoured　me　as　thou　believest；〃　replied　Paphnutius；
〃the　Lord　has　tried　me　with　terrible　temptations。　I　was　not　carried
away　by　angels。　But　a　shadowy　wall　is　raised　in　front　of　my　eyes；　and
moves　before　me。　I　have　lived　in　a　dream。　Without　God　all　is　a　dream。
When　I　made　my　journey　to　Alexandria；　I　heard；　in　a　short　space　of
time；　many　discourses；　and　I　learned　that　the　army　of　errors　was
innumerable。　It　pursues　me；　and　I　am　compassed　about　with　swords。〃

Zozimus　replied

〃Venerable　father；　we　must　remember　that　the　saints；　and　especially
the　solitary　saints；　undergo　terrible　trials。　If　thou　wast　not　carried
to　heaven　by　the　seraphs；　it　is　certain　that　the　Lord　granted　that
favour　to　thy　image；　for　Flavian；　the　monks；　and　the　people　were
witnesses　of　thy　assumption。〃

Paphnutius　resolved　to　go　and　receive　the　blessing　of　Anthony。

〃Brother　Zozimus；〃　he　said；　〃give　me　one　of　these　palm　leaves；　and　let
us　go　and　meet　our　father。〃

〃Let　us　go；〃　replied　Zozimus；　〃military　order　is　most　befitting　for
monks；　who　are　God's　soldiers。　Thou　and　I；　being　abbots；　will　march　in
front；　and　the　others　shall　follow　us；　singing　psalms。〃

They　set　out　on　their　march；　and　Paphnutius　said

〃God　is　unity；　for　He　is　the　truth；　which　is　one。　The　world　is　many；
because　it　is　error。　We　should　turn　away　from　all　the　sights　of
nature；　even　those　which　appear　the　most　innocent。　Their　diversity
renders　them　pleasant；　which　is　a　sign　that　they　are　evil。　For　that
reason；　I　cannot　see　a　tuft　of　papyrus　by　the　side　of　still　waters
without　my　soul　being　imbued　with　melancholy。　All　things　that　the
senses　perceive　are　detestable。　The　least　grain　of　sand　brings　danger。
Everything　tempts　us。　Woman　is　but　a　combination　of　all　the
temptations　scattered　in　the　thin　air；　on　the　flowering　earth；　in　the
clear　waters。　Happy　is　he　whose　soul　is　a　sealed　vase！　Happy　is　he　who
knows　how　to　be　deaf；　dumb；　and　blind；　and　who　knows　nothing　of　the
world；　in　order　that　he　may　know　God！〃

Zozimus；　having　meditated　upon　these　words；　replied　as　follows

〃Venerable　father；　it　is　fitting　that　I　should　avow　my　sins　to　thee；
since　thou　hast　shown　me　thy　soul。　Thus　we　shall　confess　to　each
other；　according　to　the　apostolic　custom。　Before　I　was　a　monk；　I　led
an　abominable　life。　At　Madaura；　a　city　celebrated　for　its　courtesans；
I　sought　out　all　kinds　of　worldly　love。　Every　night　I　supped　in
company　with　young　debauchees　and　female　flute　players；　and　I　took
home　with　me　the　one　who　pleased　me　the　best。　A　saint　like　thee　could
never　imagine　to　what　a　pitch　the　fury　of　my　desires　carried　me。
Suffice　it　to　say　that　it　spared　neither　matrons　nor　nuns；　and　spread
adultery　and　sacrilege　everywhere。　I　excited　my　senses　with　wine；　and
was　justly　known　as　the　heaviest　drinker　in　Madaura。　Yet　I　was　a
Christian；　and；　in　all　my　follies；　kept　my　faith　in　Jesus　crucified。
Having　devoured　my　substance　in　riotous　living；　I　was　beginning　to
feel　the　first　attacks　of　poverty；　when　I　saw　one　of　my　companions　in
pleasure　suddenly　struck　with　a　terrible　disease。　His　knees　could　not
sustain　him；　his　twitching　hands　refused　to　obey　him；　his　glazed　eyes
closed。　Only　horrible　groans　came　from　his　breast。　His　mind；　heavier
than　his　body；　slumbered。　To　punish　him　for　having　lived　like　a　beast；
God　had　changed　him　into　a　beast。　The　loss　of　my　property　had　already
inspired　me　with　salutary　reflections；　but　the　example　of　my　friend
was　of　yet　greater　efficacy；　it　made　such　an　impression　on　my　heart
that　I　quitted　the　world　and　retired　into　the　desert。　There　I　have
enjoyed　for　twenty　years　a　peace　that　nothing　has　troubled。　I　work
with　my　monks　as　weaver；　architect；　carpenter；　and　even　as　scribe；
though；　to　say　the　truth；　I　have　little　taste　for　writing；　having
always　preferred　action　to　thought。　My　days　are　full　of　joy；　and　my
nights　without　dreams；　and　I　believe　that　the　grace　of　the　Lord　is　in
me；　because；　even　in　the　midst　of　the　most　frightful　sins；　I　have
never　lost　hope。〃

On　hearing　these　words；　Paphnutius　lifted　his　eyes　to　heaven　and
murmured

〃Lord；　Thou　lookest　with　kindness　upon　this　man　polluted　by　adultery；
sacrilege；　and　so　many　crimes；　and　Thou　turnest　away　from　me；　who　have
always　kept　Thy　commandments！　How　inscrutable　is　Thy　justice；　O　my