thais-第32章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


great　Athanasius；　white　with　glory；　shall　kiss　it　as　the　relic　of　a
saint。　Go！〃

Paphnutius　replied

〃Let　the　will　of　God　be　accomplished！〃

And　making　an　effort　to　stand　up；　he　prepared　to　descend。　But　the
voice；　divining　his　intention；　said

〃Above　all；　descend　not　by　the　ladder。　That　would　be　to　act　like　an
ordinary　man；　and　to　be　unconscious　of　the　gifts　that　are　in　thee。　A
great　saint；　like　thee；　ought　to　fly　through　the　air。　Leap！　the　angels
are　there　to　support　thee。　Leap；　then！〃

Paphnutius　replied

〃The　will　of　God　be　done；　on　earth　as　it　is　in　heaven。〃

Extending　his　long　arms　like　the　ragged　wings　of　a　huge　sick　bird；　he
was　about　to　throw　himself　down；　when；　suddenly；　a　hideous　mocking
laugh　rang　in　his　ears。　Terrified；　he　asked

〃Who　laughs　thus？〃

〃Ah？　ah！〃　screamed　the　voice；　〃we　are　yet　but　at　the　beginning　of　our
friendship；　thou　wilt　some　day　be　better　acquainted　with　me。　My
friend；　it　was　I　who　caused　thee　to　ascend　here；　and　I　ought　to　be
satisfied　at　the　docility　with　which　thou　hast　accomplished　my　wishes。
Paphnutius；　I　am　pleased　with　thee。〃

Paphnutius　murmured；　in　a　voice　stifled　by　fear

〃Avaunt；　avaunt！　I　know　thee　now；　thou　art　he　who　carried　Jesus　to　a
pinnacle　of　the　temple；　and　showed　him　all　the　kingdoms　of　this
world。〃

He　fell；　affrighted；　on　the　stone。

〃Why　did　I　not　know　this　sooner？〃　he　thought。　〃More　wretched　than　the
blind；　deaf；　and　paralysed　who　trust　in　me；　I　have　lost　all　knowledge
of　things　supernatural；　and　am　more　depraved　than　the　maniacs　who　eat
earth　and　approach　dead　bodies。　I　can　no　longer　distinguish　between
the　clamours　of　hell　and　the　voices　of　heaven。　I　have　lost　even　the
intuition　of　the　new…born　child；　who　cries　when　its　nurse's　breast　is
taken　from　it；　of　the　dog　that　scents　out　its　master's　footsteps；　of
the　plant　that　turns　towards　the　sun。　I　am　the　laughing…stock　of　the
devils。　So；　then；　it　is　Satan　who　led　me　here。　When　he　elevated　me　on
this　pedestal；　lust　and　pride　mounted　with　me。　It　is　not　the　magnitude
of　my　temptations　which　terrifies　me。　Anthony；　on　his　mountain；
suffers　the　same。　I　wish　that　all　their　swords　may　pierce　my　flesh；
before　the　eyes　of　the　angels。　I　have　even　learned　to　like　my
sufferings。　But　God　does　not　speak　to　me；　and　His　silence　astonishes
me。　He　has　left　meand　I　had　but　Him　to　look　to。　He　leaves　me　alone
in　the　horror　of　His　absence。　He　flies　from　me。　I　will　follow　after
Him。　This　stone　burns　my　feet。　Let　me　leave　quickly；　and　come　up　with
God。〃

With　that　he　seized　the　ladder　which　stood　against　the　column；　put　his
feet　on　it；　and　having　descended　a　rung；　found　himself　face　to　face
with　the　monster's　head；　she　smiled　strangely。　He　was　certain　then
that　what　he　had　taken　for　the　site　of　his　rest　and　glory；　was　but　the
diabolical　instrument　of　his　trouble　and　damnation。　He　hastily
descended　and　touched　the　soil。　His　feet　had　forgotten　their　use；　and
he　reeled。　But；　feeling　on　him　the　shadow　of　the　cursed　column；　he
forced　himself　to　run。　All　slept。　He　traversed；　without　being　seen；
the　great　square　surrounded　by　wine…shops；　inns；　and　caravanserias；
and　threw　himself　into　a　by…street　which　led　towards　the　Libyan　Hills。
A　dog　pursued　him；　barking；　and　stopped　only　at　the　edge　of　the
desert。　Paphnutius　went　through　a　country　where　there　was　no　road　but
the　trail　of　wild　beasts。　Leaving　behind　him　the　huts　abandoned　by　the
coiners；　he　continued　all　night　and　all　day　his　solitary　flight。

At　last；　almost　ready　to　expire　with　hunger；　thirst；　and　fatigue；　and
not　knowing　if　God　was　still　far　from　him；　he　came　to　a　silent　city
which　extended　from　right　to　left；　and　stretched　away　till　it　was　lost
in　the　blue　horizon。　The　buildings；　which　were　widely　separated　and
like　each　other；　resembled　pyramids　cut　off　at　half　their　height。　They
were　tombs。　The　doors　were　broken；　and　in　the　shadow　of　the　chambers
could　be　seen　the　gleaming　eyes　of　hyaenas　and　wolves　who　brought
forth　their　young　there；　whilst　the　dead　bodies　lay　on　the　threshold；
despoiled　by　robbers；　and　gnawed　by　the　wild　beasts。　Having　passed
through　this　funeral　city；　Paphnutius　fell　exhausted　before　a　tomb
which　stood　near　a　spring　surrounded　by　palm　trees。　This　tomb　was　much
ornamented；　and；　as　there　was　no　door　to　it；　he　saw　inside　it　a
painted　chamber；　in　which　serpents　bred。

〃Here；〃　he　sighed；　〃is　the　abode　I　have　chosen；　the　tabernacle　of　my
repentance　and　penitence。〃

He　dragged　himself　to　it；　drove　out　the　reptiles　with　his　feet；　and
remained　prostrate　on　the　stone　floor　for　eighteen　hours；　at　the　end
of　which　time　he　went　to　the　spring；　and　drank　out　of　his　hand。　Then
he　plucked　some　dates　and　some　stalks　of　lotus；　the　seeds　of　which　he
ate。　Thinking　this　kind　of　life　was　good；　he　made　it　the　rule　of　his
existence。　From　morning　to　night　he　never　lifted　his　forehead　from　the
stone。

One　day；　whilst　he　was　thus　prostrated；　he　heard　a　voice　which　said

〃Look　at　these　images；　that　thou　mayest　learn。〃

Then；　raising　his　head；　he　saw；　on　the　walls　of　the　chamber；　paintings
which　represented　lively　and　domestic　scenes。　They　were　of　very　old
work；　and　marvellously　lifelike。　There　were　cooks　who　blew　the　fire；
with　their　cheeks　all　puffed　out；　others　plucked　geese；　or　cooked
quarters　of　sheep　in　stew…pans。　A　little　farther；　a　hunter　carried　on
his　shoulders　a　gazelle　pierced　with　arrows。　In　one　place；　peasants
were　sowing；　reaping；　or　gathering。　In　another；　women　danced　to　the
sounds　of　viols；　flutes；　and　harp。　A　young　girl　played　the　theorbo。
The　lotus　flower　shone　in　her　hair；　which　was　neatly　braided。　Her
transparent　dress　let　the　pure　forms　of　her　body　be　seen。　Her　bosom
and　mouth　were　perfect。　The　face　was　turned　in　profile；　and　the
beautiful　eye　looked　straight　before　her。　The　whole　figure　was
exquisite。　Paphnutius　having　examined　it；　lowered　his　eyes；　and
replied　to　the　voice

〃Why　dost　thou　command　me　to　look　at　these　images？　No　doubt　they
represent　the　terrestrial　life　of　the　idolater　whose　body　rests　here；
under　my　feet；　at　the　bottom　of　a　well；　in　a　coffin　of　black　basalt。
They　recall　the　life　of　a　dead　man；　and　are；　despite　their　bright
colours；　the　shadows　of　a　shadow。　The　life　of　a　dead　man！　O　vanity！〃

〃He　is　dead；　but　he　lived；〃　replied　the　voice；　〃and　thou　wilt　die；　and
wilt　not　have　lived。〃

From　that　day；　Paphnutius　had　not　a　moment's　rest。　The　voice　spoke　to
him　incessantly。　The　girl　with　the　theorbo　looked　fixedly　at　him　from
underneath　the　long　lashes　of　her　eye。　At　last　she　also　spoke

〃Look。　I　am　mysterious　and　beautiful。　Love　me。　Exhaust　in　my　arms　the
love　which　torments　you。　What　use　is　it　to　fear　me？　You　cannot　escape
me；　I　am　the　beauty　of　woman。　Whither　do　you　think　to　fly　from　me；
senseless　fool？　You　will　find　my　likeness　in　the　radiancy　of　flowers；
and　in　the　grace　of　the　palm　trees；　in　the　flight　of　pigeons；　in　the
bounds　of　the　gazelle；　in　the　rippling　of　brooks；　in　the　soft　light　of
the　moon；　and　if　you　close　your　eyes；　you　will　find　me　within
yourself。　It　is　a　thousand　years　since　the　man　who　sleeps　here；
swathed　in　linen；　in　a　bed　of　black　stone；　pressed　me　to　his　heart。　It
is　a　thousand　years　since　he　received　the　last　kiss　from　my　mouth；　and
his　sleep　is　yet　redolent　with　it。　You　know　me　well；　Paphnutius。　How
is　it　you　have　not　recognised　me？　I　am　one　of　the　innumerable
incarnations　of　Thais。　You　are　a　learned　monk；　and　well　skilled　in　the
knowledge　of　things。　You　have　travelled；　and　it　is　by　travel　a　man
learns　the　most。　Often　a　day　passed　abroad　will　show　more　novelties
than　ten　years　passed　at　home。　You　have　heard　that　Thais　lived
formerly　in　Argos；　under　the　name　of　Helen。　She　had　another　existence
in　Thebes　Hecatompyle。　And　I　was　Thais　of　Thebes。　How　is　it　you　have
not　guessed　it？　I　took；　when　I　was　alive；　a　large　share　in　the　sins　of
this　world；　and　now　reduced　here　to　the　condition　of　a　shadow；　I　am
still　quite　capable　of　taking　your　sins　upon　me；　beloved　monk。　Whence
comes　your　surprise？　It　was　certain　that；　wherever　you　went；　you　would
find　Thais　again。〃

He　struck　his　forehead　against　the　pavement；　and　uttered　a　cry　of
terror。　And　every　night　the　player　of　the　theorbo　left　the　wall；
approached　h