thais-第2章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


the　verse；　〃If　thou　wilt　be　perfect；　go　and　sell　that　thou　hast；　and
give　to　the　poor。〃　Thereupon　he　sold　all　that　he　had；　gave　away　the
money　in　alms；　and　embraced　the　monastic　life。

During　the　ten　years　that　he　had　lived　remote　from　men；　he　no　longer
seethed　in　the　cauldron　of　false　delights；　but　more　profitably
macerated　his　flesh　in　the　balms　of　penitence。

One　day　when；　according　to　his　pious　custom；　he　was　recalling　to　mind
the　hours　he　had　lived　apart　from　God；　and　examining　his　sins　one　by
one；　that　he　might　the　better　ponder　on　their　enormity；　he　remembered
that　he　had　seen　at　the　theatre　at　Alexandria　a　very　beautiful　actress
named　Thais。　This　woman　showed　herself　in　the　public　games；　and　did
not　scruple　to　perform　dances；　the　movements　of　which；　arranged　only
too　cleverly；　brought　to　mind　the　most　horrible　passions。　Sometimes
she　imitated　the　horrible　deeds　which　the　Pagan　fables　ascribe　to
Venus；　Leda；　or　Pasiphae。　Thus　she　fired　all　the　spectators　with　lust；
and　when　handsome　young　men；　or　rich　old　ones；　came；　inspired　with
love；　to　hang　wreaths　of　flowers　round　her　door；　she　welcomed　them；
and　gave　herself　up　to　them。　So　that；　whilst　she　lost　her　own　soul；
she　also　ruined　the　souls　of　many　others。

She　had　almost　led　Paphnutius　himself　into　the　sins　of　the　flesh。　She
had　awakened　desire　in　him；　and　he　had　once　approached　the　house　of
Thais。　But　he　stopped　on　the　threshold　of　the　courtesan's　house；
partly　restrained　by　the　natural　timidity　of　extreme　youthhe　was
then　but　fifteen　years　oldand　partly　by　the　fear　of　being　refused　on
account　of　his　want　of　money；　for　his　parents　took　care　that　he　should
commit　no　great　extravagances。

God；　in　His　mercy；　had　used　these　two　means　to　prevent　him　from
committing　a　great　sin。　But　Paphnutius　had　not　been　grateful　to　Him
for　that；　because　at　that　time　he　was　blind　to　his　own　interests；　and
did　not　know　that　he　was　lusting　after　false　delights。　Now；　kneeling
in　his　cell；　before　the　image　of　that　holy　cross　on　which　hung；　as　in
a　balance；　the　ransom　of　the　world；　Paphnutius　began　to　think　of
Thais；　because　Thais　was　a　sin　to　him；　and　he　meditated　long；
according　to　ascetic　rules；　on　the　fearful　hideousness　of　the　carnal
delights　with　which　this　woman　had　inspired　him　in　the　days　of　his　sin
and　ignorance。　After　some　hours　of　meditation　the　image　of　Thais
appeared　to　him　clearly　and　distinctly。　He　saw　her　again；　as　he　had
seen　her　when　she　tempted　him；　in　all　the　beauty　of　the　flesh。　At
first　she　showed　herself　like　a　Leda；　softly　lying　upon　a　bed　of
hyacinths；　her　head　bowed；　her　eyes　humid　and　filled　with　a　strange
light；　her　nostrils　quivering；　her　mouth　half　open；　her　breasts　like
two　flowers；　and　her　arms　smooth　and　fresh　as　two　brooks。　At　this
sight　Paphnutius　struck　his　breast　and　said

〃I　call　Thee　to　witness；　my　God；　that　I　have　considered　how　heinous
has　been　my　sin。〃

Gradually　the　face　of　the　image　changed　its　expression。　Little　by
little　the　lips　of　Thais；　by　lowering　at　the　corners　of　the　mouth；
expressed　a　mysterious　suffering。　Her　large　eyes　were　filled　with
tears　and　lights；　her　breast　heaved　with　sighs；　like　the　sighing　of　a
wind　that　precedes　a　tempest。　At　this　sight　Paphnutius　was　troubled　to
the　bottom　of　his　soul。　Prostrating　himself　on　the　floor；　he　uttered
this　prayer

〃Thou　who　hast　put　pity　in　our　hearts；　like　the　morning　dew　upon　the
fields；　O　just　and　merciful　God；　be　Thou　blessed！　Praise！　praise　be
unto　Thee！　Put　away　from　Thy　servant　that　false　tenderness　which
tempts　to　concupiscence；　and　grant　that　I　may　only　love　Thy　creatures
in　Thee；　for　they　pass　away；　but　Thou　endurest　for　ever。　If　I　care　for
this　woman；　it　is　only　because　she　is　Thy　handiwork。　The　angels
themselves　feel　pity　for　her。　Is　she　not；　O　Lord；　the　breath　of　Thy
mouth？　Let　her　not　continue　to　sin　with　many　citizens　and　strangers。
There　is　great　pity　for　her　in　my　heart。　Her　wickednesses　are
abominable；　and　but　to　think　of　them　makes　my　flesh　creep。　But　the
more　wicked　she　is；　the　more　do　I　lament　for　her。　I　weep　when　I　think
that　the　devils　will　torment　her　to　all　eternity。〃

As　he　was　meditating　in　this　way；　he　saw　a　little　jackal　lying　at　his
feet。　He　felt　much　surprised；　for　the　door　of　his　cell　had　been　closed
since　the　morning。　The　animal　seemed　to　read　the　Abbot's　thoughts；　and
wagged　its　tail　like　a　dog。　Paphnutius　made　the　sign　of　the　cross　and
the　beast　vanished。　He　knew　then　that；　for　the　first　time；　the　devil
had　entered　his　cell；　and　he　uttered　a　short　prayer；　then　he　thought
again　about　Thais。

〃With　God's　help；〃　he　said　to　himself；　〃I　must　save　her。〃　And　he
slept。

The　next　morning；　when　he　had　said　his　prayers；　he　went　to　see　the
sainted　Palemon；　a　holy　hermit　who　lived　some　distance　away。　He　found
him　smiling　quietly　as　he　dug　the　ground；　as　was　his　custom。　Palemon
was　an　old　man；　and　cultivated　a　little　garden；　the　wild　beasts　came
and　licked　his　hands；　and　the　devils　never　tormented　him。

〃May　God　be　praised；　brother　Paphnutius；〃　he　said；　as　he　leaned　upon
his　spade。

〃God　be　praised！〃　replied　Paphnutius。　〃And　peace　be　unto　my　brother。〃

〃The　like　peace　be　unto　thee；　brother　Paphnutius；〃　said　Palemon；　and
he　wiped　the　sweat　from　his　forehead　with　his　sleeve。

〃Brother　Palemon；　all　our　discourse　ought　to　be　solely　the　praise　of
Him　who　has　promised　to　be　wheresoever　two　or　three　are　gathered
together　in　His　Name。　That　is　why　I　come　to　you　concerning　a　design　I
have　formed　to　glorify　the　Lord。〃

〃May　the　Lord　bless　thy　design；　Paphnutius；　as　He　has　blessed　my
lettuces。　Every　morning　He　spreads　His　grace　with　the　dew　on　my
garden；　and　His　goodness　causes　me　to　glorify　Him　in　the　cucumbers　and
melons　which　He　gives　me。　Let　us　pray　that　He　may　keep　us　in　His
peace。　For　nothing　is　more　to　be　feared　than　those　unruly　passions
which　trouble　our　hearts。　When　these　passions　disturb　us　we　are　like
drunken　men；　and　we　stagger　from　right　to　left　unceasingly；　and　are
like　to　fall　miserably。　Sometimes　these　passions　plunge　us　into　a
turbulent　joy；　and　he　who　gives　way　to　such；　sullies　the　air　with
brutish　laughter。　Such　false　joy　drags　the　sinner　into　all　sorts　of
excess。　But　sometimes　also　the　troubles　of　the　soul　and　of　the　senses
throw　us　into　an　impious　sadness　which　is　a　thousand　times　worse　than
the　joy。　Brother　Paphnutius；　I　am　but　a　miserable　sinner；　but　I　have
found；　in　my　long　life；　that　the　cenobite　has　no　foe　worse　than
sadness。　I　mean　by　that　the　obstinate　melancholy　which　envelopes　the
soul　as　in　a　mist；　and　hides　from　us　the　light　of　God。　Nothing　is　more
contrary　to　salvation；　and　the　devil's　greatest　triumph　is　to　sow
black　and　bitter　thoughts　in　the　heart　of　a　good　man。　If　he　sent　us
only　pleasurable　temptations；　he　would　not　be　half　so　much　to　be
feared。　Alas！　he　excels　in　making　us　sad。　Did　he　not　show　to　our
father　Anthony　a　black　child　of　such　surpassing　beauty　that　the　very
sight　of　it　drew　tears？　With　God's　help；　our　father　Anthony　avoided
the　snares　of　the　demon。　I　knew　him　when　he　lived　amongst　us；　he　was
cheerful　with　his　disciples；　and　never　gave　way　to　melancholy。　But　did
you　not　come；　my　brother；　to　talk　to　me　of　a　design　you　had　formed　in
your　mind？　Let　me　know　what　it　isif；　at　least；　this　design　has　for
its　object　the　glory　of　God。〃

〃Brother　Palemon；　what　I　propose　is　really　to　the　glory　of　God。
Strengthen　me　with　your　counsel；　for　you　know　many　things；　and　sin　has
never　darkened　the　clearness　of　your　mind。〃

〃Brother　Paphnutius；　I　am　not　worthy　to　unloose　the　latchet　of　thy
sandals；　and　my　sins　are　as　countless　as　the　sands　of　the　desert。　But
I　am　old；　and　I　will　never　refuse　the　help　of　my　experience。〃

〃I　will　confide　in　you；　then；　brother　Palemon；　that　I　am　stricken　with
grief　at　the　thought　that　there　is；　in　Alexandria；　a　courtesan　named
Thais；　who　lives　in　sin；　and　is　a　subject　of　reproach　unto　the
people。〃

〃Brother　Paphnutius；　that　is；　in　truth；　an　abomination　which　we　do
well　to　deplore。　There　are　many　women　amongst　the　Gentiles　who　lead
lives　of　that　kind。　Have　you　thought　of　any　remedy　for　this　great
evil？〃

〃Brother　Palemon；　I　will　go　to　Alexandria　and　find　this　woman；　and；
with　God's　help；　I　will