thais-第16章

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He　made　us；　and　acting　according　to　the　nature　He　has　given　us。　A　good
deal　too　much　is　said　on　His　behalf；　and　He　is　often　credited　with
ideas　He　never　had。　You　yourself；　stranger；　do　you　know　His　true
character？　Who　are　you　that　you　should　speak　to　me　in　His　name？〃

At　this　question　the　monk；　opening　his　borrowed　robe；　showed　the
cassock；　and　said

〃I　am　Paphnutius；　Abbot　of　Antinoe；　and　I　come　from　the　holy　desert。
The　hand　that　drew　Abraham　from　Chaldaea　and　Lot　from　Sodom　has
separated　me　from　the　present　age。　I　no　longer　existed　for　the　men　of
this　century。　But　thy　image　appeared　to　me　in　my　sandy　Jerusalem；　and
I　knew　that　thou　wert　full　of　corruption；　and　death　was　in　thee。　And
now　I　am　before　thee；　woman；　as　before　a　grave；　and　I　cry　unto　thee；
'Thais；　arise！'　〃

At　the　words；　Paphnutius；　monk；　and　abbot；　she　had　turned　pale　with
fright。　And　now；　with　dishevelled　hair　and　joined　hands；　weeping　and
groaning；　she　dragged　herself　to　the　feet　of　the　saint。

〃Do　not　hurt　me！　Why　have　you　come？　What　do　you　want　of　me？　Do　not
hurt　me！　I　know　that　the　saints　of　the　desert　hate　women　who；　like　me；
are　made　to　please。　I　am　afraid　that　you　hate　me；　and　want　to　hurt　me。
Go！　I　do　not　doubt　your　power。　But　know；　Paphnutius；　that　you　should
neither　despise　me　nor　hate　me。　I　have　never；　like　many　of　the　men　I
know；　laughed　at　your　voluntary　poverty。　In　your　turn；　do　not　make　a
crime　of　my　riches。　I　am　beautiful；　and　clever　in　acting。　I　no　more
chose　my　condition　than　my　nature。　I　was　made　for　that　which　I　do。　I
was　born　to　charm　men。　And　you　yourself；　did　you　not　say　just　now　that
you　loved　me？　Do　not　use　your　science　against　me。　Do　not　pronounce
magic　words　which　would　destroy　my　beauty；　or　change　me　into　a　statue
of　salt。　Do　not　terrify　me！　I　am　already　too　frightened。　Do　not　kill
me！　I　am　so　afraid　of　death。〃

He　made　a　sign　to　her　to　rise；　and　said

〃Child；　have　no　fear。　I　will　utter　no　word　of　shame　or　scorn。　I　come
on　behalf　of　Him　who　sat　on　the　edge　of　the　well；　and　drank　of　the
pitcher　which　the　woman　of　Samaria　offered　to　Him；　and　who；　also；　when
He　supped　at　the　house　of　Simon；　received　the　perfumes　of　Mary。　I　am
not　without　sin　that　I　should　throw　the　first　stone。　I　have　often
badly　employed　the　abundant　grace　which　God　has　bestowed　upon　me。　It
was　not　anger；　but　pity；　which　took　me　by　the　hand　to　conduct　me　here。
I　can；　without　deceit；　address　thee　in　words　of　love；　for　it　is　the
zeal　in　my　heart　which　has　brought　me　to　thee。　I　burn　with　the　fire　of
charity；　and　if　thy　eyes；　accustomed　only　to　the　gross　sights　of　the
flesh；　could　see　things　in　their　mystic　aspect；　I　should　appear　unto
thee　as　a　branch　broken　off　the　burning　bush　which　the　Lord　showed　on
the　mountain　to　Moses　of　old；　that　he　might　understand　true　lovethat
which　envelops　us；　and　which；　so　far　from　leaving　behind　it　mere　coals
and　ashes；　purifies　and　perfumes　for　ever　that　which　it　penetrates。〃

〃I　believe　you；　monk；　and　no　longer　fear　either　deceit　or　ill…will
from　you。　I　have　often　heard　talk　of　the　hermits　of　the　Thebaid。
Marvellous　things　have　been　told　concerning　Anthony　and　Paul。　Your
name　is　not　unknown　to　me；　and　I　have　heard　say　that；　though　you　are
still　young；　you　equal　in　virtue　the　oldest　anchorites。　As　soon　as　I
saw　you；　and　without　knowing　who　you　were；　I　felt　that　you　were　no
ordinary　man。　Tell　me！　can　you　do　for　me　that　which　neither　the
priests　of　Isis；　nor　of　Hermes；　nor　of　the　celestial　Juno；　nor　the
Chaldean　soothsayers；　nor　the　Babylonian　magi　have　been　able　to
effect？　Monk；　if　you　love　me；　can　you　prevent　me　from　dying？〃

〃Woman；　whosoever　wishes　to　live　shall　live。　Flee　from　the　abominable
delights　in　which　thou　diest　for　ever。　Snatch　from　the　devils；　who
will　burn　it　most　horribly；　that　body　which　God　kneaded　with　His
spittle　and　animated　with　his　own　breath。　Thou　art　consumed　with
weariness；　come；　and　refresh　thyself　at　the　blessed　springs　of
solitude；　come　and　drink　of　those　fountains　which　are　hidden　in　the
desert；　and　which　gush　forth　to　heaven。　Careworn　soul；　come；　and
possess　that　which　thou　desirest！　Heart　greedy　for　joy；　come　and　taste
true　joyspoverty；　retirement；　self…forgetfulness；　seclusion　in　the
bosom　of　God。　Enemy　of　Christ　now；　and　to…morrow　His　well…beloved；
come　to　Him！　Come；　thou　whom　I　have　sought；　and　thou　wilt　say；　'I　have
found　love！'　〃

Thais　seemed　lost　in　meditation　on　things　afar。

〃Monk；〃　she　asked；　〃if　I　adjure　all　pleasures　and　do　penance；　is　it
true　that　I　shall　be　born　again　in　heaven；　my　body　intact　in　all　its
beauty？〃

〃Thais；　I　bring　thee　eternal　life。　Believe　me；　for　that　which　I
announce　to　thee　is　the　truth。〃

〃Who　will　assure　me　that　it　is　the　truth？〃

〃David　and　the　prophets；　the　Scriptures；　and　the　wonders　that　thou
shalt　behold。〃

〃Monk；　I　should　like　to　believe　you；　for　I　must　confess　that　I　have
not　found　happiness　in　this　world。　My　lot　in　life　is　better　than　that
of　a　queen；　and　yet　I　have　many　bitternesses　and　misfortunes；　and　I　am
infinitely　weary　of　my　existence。　All　women　envy　me；　and　yet　sometimes
I　have　envied　the　lot　of　a　toothless　old　woman　who；　when　I　was　a
child；　sold　honey…cakes　under　one　of　the　city　gates。　Often　has　the
idea　flashed　across　my　mind　that　only　the　poor　are　good；　happy；　and
blessed；　and　that　there　must　be　great　gladness　in　living　humble　and
obscure。　Monk；　you　have　agitated　a　storm　in　my　soul；　and　brought　to
the　surface　that　which　lay　at　the　bottom。　Who　am　I　to　believe；　alas！
and　what　is　to　become　of　meand　what　is　life？〃

Whilst　she　thus　spoke；　Paphnutius　was　transfigured；　celestial　joy
beamed　in　his　face。

〃Listen！〃　he　said。　〃I　was　not　alone　when　I　entered　this　house。　Another
accompanied　me；　another　who　stands　by　my　side。　Him　thou　canst　not　see；
because　thy　eyes　are　yet　unworthy　to　behold　Him；　but　soon　thou　shalt
see　Him　in　all　His　glorious　splendour；　and　thou　wilt　say；　'He　alone　is
to　be　adored。'　But　now；　if　He　had　not　placed　His　gentle　hands　before
my　eyes；　O　Thais；　I　should　perhaps　have　fallen　into　sin　with　thee；　for
of　myself　I　am　but　weak　and　sinful。　But　He　saved　us　both。　He　is　as
good　as　He　is　powerful；　and　His　name　is　the　Saviour。　He　was　promised
to　the　world；　by　David　and　the　prophets；　worshipped　in　His　cradle　by
the　shepherds　and　the　magi；　crucified　by　the　Pharisees；　buried　by　the
holy　women；　revealed　to　the　world　by　the　apostles；　testified　to　by　the
martyrs。　And　now；　having　learned　that　thou　fearest　death；　O　woman；　He
has　come　to　thy　house　to　prevent　thee　from　dying。　Art　Thou　not　here
present　with　me；　Jesus；　at　this　moment；　as　Thou　didst　appear　to　the
men　of　Galilee；　in　those　wonderful　days　when　the　stars；　which　came
down　with　thee　from　heaven；　were　so　near　the　earth　that　the　holy
innocents　could　take　them　in　their　hands；　when　they　played　in　their
mothers'　arms　on　the　terraces　of　Bethlehem？　Is　it　not　true；　Jesus；
that　Thou　art　here　present；　and　that　Thou　showest　me　in　reality　Thy
precious　body？　Is　not　Thy　face　here；　and　that　tear　which　flows　down
Thy　cheek　a　real　tear？　Yes；　the　angel　of　eternal　justice　shall　receive
it；　and　it　shall　be　the　ransom　of　the　soul　of　Thais。　Art　Thou　not
here；　Jesus？　Jesus；　Thy　loving　lips　open。　Thou　canst　speak；　speak；　I
hear　Thee！　And　thee；　Thais；　happy　Thais！　listen　to　what　the　Saviour
Himself　says　to　thee；　it　is　He　who　speaks；　not　I。　He　says；　'I　have
sought　thee　long；　O　My　lost　sheep！　I　have　found　thee　at　last！　Fly　from
Me　no　more。　Let　Me　take　thee　by　the　hands；　poor　little　one；　and　I　will
bear　thee　on　My　shoulders　to　the　heavenly　fold。　Come；　My　Thais！　come；
My　chosen　one！　come；　and　weep　with　Me！'　〃

And　Paphnutius　fell　on　his　knees；　his　eyes　filled　with　ecstasy。　And
then　Thais　saw　in　his　face　the　likeness　of　the　living　Christ。

〃O　vanished　days　of　my　childhood！〃　she　sobbed。　〃O　sweet　father　Ahmes！
good　Saint　Theodore；　why　did　I　not　die　in　thy　white　mantle　whilst　thou
didst　bear　me；　in　the　first　dawn　of　day；　yet　fresh　from　the　waters　of
baptism！〃

Paphnutius　advanced　towards　her；　crying

〃Thou　art　baptised！　O　divine　wisdom！　O　Providence！　O　great　God！　I　know
now　the　power　which　drew　me　to　thee。　I　know　what　rendered　thee　so　dear
and　so　beautiful　in　my　eyes。　It　was　the　virtue　of　the　baptisma