thais-第15章

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On　the　afternoon　after　the　games；　Thais　was　reposing　in　the　Grotto　of
Nymphs。　She　had　noticed　in　her　mirror　the　first　signs　of　the　decay　of
her　beauty；　and　she　was　frightened　to　think　that　white　hair　and
wrinkles　would　at　last　come。　She　vainly　tried　to　comfort　herself　with
the　assurance　that　she　could　recover　her　fresh　complexion　by　burning
certain　herbs　and　pronouncing　a　few　magic　words。　A　pitiless　voice
cried；　〃You　will　grow　old　Thais；　you　will　grow　old。〃　And　a　cold　sweat
of　terror　bedewed　her　forehead。　Then；　on　looking　at　herself　again　in
the　mirror　with　infinite　tenderness；　she　found　that　she　was　still
beautiful　and　worthy　to　be　loved。　She　smiled　to　herself；　and　murmured；
〃There　is　not　a　woman　in　Alexandria　who　can　rival　me　in　suppleness　or
grace　or　movement；　or　in　splendour　of　arms；　and　the　arms；　my　mirror；
are　the　real　chains　of　love！〃

While　she　was　thus　thinking　she　saw　an　unknown　manthin；　with　burning
eyes　and　unkempt　beard；　and　clad　in　a　richly　embroidered　robe
standing　before　her。　She　let　fall　her　mirror；　and　uttered　a　cry　of
fright。

Paphnutius　stood　motionless；　and　seeing　how　beautiful　she　was；　he
murmured　this　prayer　from　the　bottom　of　his　heart

〃Grant；　my　God；　that　the　face　of　this　woman　may　not　be　a　temptation；
but　may　prove　salutary　to　Thy　servant。〃

Then；　forcing　himself　to　speak；　he　said

〃Thais；　I　live　in　a　far　country；　and　the　fame　of　thy　beauty　has　led　me
to　thee。　It　is　said　that　thou　art　the　most　clever　of　actresses　and　the
most　irresistible　of　women。　That　which　is　related　of　thy　riches　and
thy　love　affairs　seems　fabulous；　and　calls　to　mind　the　old　story　of
Rhodope；　whose　marvellous　history　is　known　by　heart　to　all　the　boatmen
on　the　Nile。　Therefore　I　was　seized　with　a　desire　to　know　thee；　and　I
see　that　the　truth　surpasses　the　rumour。　Thou　art　a　thousand　times
more　clever　and　more　beautiful　than　is　reported。　And　now　that　I　see
thee；　I　say　to　myself；　'It　is　impossible　to　approach　her　without
staggering　like　a　drunken　man。'　〃

The　words　were　feigned；　but　the　monk；　animated　by　pious　zeal；　uttered
them　with　real　warmth。　Thais　gazed；　without　displeasure；　at　this
strange　being　who　had　frightened　her。　The　rough；　wild　aspect；　and　the
fiery　glances　of　his　eyes；　astonished　her。　She　was　curious　to　learn
the　state　of　life　of　a　man　so　different　from　all　others　she　had　met。
She　replied；　with　gentle　raillery

〃You　seem　prompt　to　admire；　stranger。　Beware　that　my　looks　do　not
consume　you　to　the　bones！　Beware　of　loving　me！〃

He　said

〃I　love　thee；　O　Thais！　I　love　thee　more　than　my　life；　and　more　than
myself。　For　thee　I　have　quitted　the　desert；　for　thee　my　lipsvowed　to
silencehave　pronounced　profane　words；　for　thee　I　have　seen　what　I
ought　not　to　have　seen；　and　heard　what　it　was　forbidden　to　me　to　hear；
for　thee　my　soul　is　troubled；　my　heart　is　open；　and　the　thoughts　gush
out　like　the　running　springs　at　which　the　pigeons　drink；　for　thee　I
have　walked　day　and　night　across　sandy　deserts　teeming　with　reptiles
and　vampires；　for　thee　I　have　placed　my　bare　foot　on　vipers　and
scorpions！　Yes；　I　love　thee！　I　love　thee；　but　not　like　those　men　who；
burning　with　the　lusts　of　the　flesh；　come　to　thee　like　devouring
wolves　or　furious　bulls。　Thou　art　dear　to　them　as　is　the　gazelle　to
the　lion。　Their　ravening　lusts　will　consume　thee　to　the　soul；　O　woman！
I　love　thee　in　spirit　and　in　truth；　I　love　thee　in　God；　and　for　ever
and　ever；　that　which　is　in　my　breast　is　named　true　zeal　and　divine
charity。　I　promise　thee　better　things　than　drunkenness　crowned　with
flowers　or　the　dreams　of　a　brief　night。　I　promise　thee　holy　feasts　and
celestial　suppers。　The　happiness　that　I　bring　thee　will　never　end；　it
is　unheard…of；　it　is　ineffable；　and　such　that　if　the　happy　of　this
world　could　only　see　a　shadow　of　it　they　would　die　of　wonder。〃

Thais　laughed　mischievously。

〃Friend；〃　she　said；　〃show　me　this　wonderful　love。　Make　haste！　Long
speeches　would　be　an　insult　to　my　beauty；　let　us　not　lose　a　moment。　I
am　impatient　to　taste　the　felicity　you　announce；　but；　to　say　the
truth；　I　fear　that　I　shall　always　remain　ignorant　of　it；　and　that　all
you　have　promised　me　will　vanish　in　words。　It　is　easier　to　promise　a
great　happiness　than　to　give　it。　Everyone　has　a　talent　of　some　sort。　I
fancy　that　yours　is　to　make　long　speeches。　You　speak　of　an　unknown
love。　It　is　so　long　since　kisses　were　first　exchanged　that　it　would　be
very　extraordinary　if　there　still　remained　secrets　in　love。　On　this
subject　lovers　know　more　than　philosophers。〃

〃Do　not　jest；　Thais。　I　bring　thee　the　unknown　love。〃

〃Friend；　you　come　too　late。　I　know　every　kind　of　love。〃

〃The　love　that　I　bring　thee　abounds　with　glory；　whilst　the　loves　that
thou　knowest　breed　only　shame。〃

Thais　looked　at　him　with　an　angry　eye；　a　frown　gathered　on　her
beautiful　face。

〃You　are　very　bold；　stranger；　to　offend　your　hostess。　Look　at　me；　and
say　if　I　resemble　a　creature　crushed　down　with　shame。　No；　I　am　not
ashamed；　and　all　others　who　live　like　me　are　not　ashamed　either；
although　they　are　not　so　beautiful　or　so　rich　as　I　am。　I　have　sown
pleasure　in　my　footsteps；　and　I　am　celebrated　for　that　all　over　the
world。　I　am　more　powerful　than　the　masters　of　the　world。　I　have　seen
them　at　my　feet。　Look　at　me；　look　at　these　little　feet；　thousands　of
men　would　pay　with　their　blood　for　the　happiness　of　kissing　them。　I　am
not　very　big；　and　I　do　not　occupy　much　space　on　the　earth。　To　those
who　look　at　me　from　the　top　of　the　Serapeium；　when　I　pass　in　the
street；　I　look　like　a　grain　of　rice；　but　that　grain　of　rice　has　caused
among　men；　griefs；　despairs；　hates；　and　crimes　enough　to　have　filled
Tartarus。　Are　you　not　mad　to　talk　to　me　of　shame　when　all　around
proclaims　my　glory？〃

〃That　which　is　glory　in　the　eyes　of　men；　is　infamy　before　God。　O
woman；　we　have　been　nourished　in　countries　so　different；　that　it　is
not　surprising　we　have　neither　the　same　language　nor　the　same
thoughts！　Yet　Heaven　is　my　witness　that　I　wish　to　agree　with　thee；　and
that　it　is　my　intention　not　to　leave　thee　until　we　share　the　same
sentiments。　Who　will　inspire　me　with　burning　words　that　will　melt　thee
like　wax　in　my　breath；　O　woman；　that　the　fingers　of　my　desires　may
mould　thee　as　they　wish？　What　virtue　will　deliver　thee　to　me；　O
dearest　of　souls；　that　the　spirit　which　animates　me；　creating　thee　a
second　time；　may　imprint　on　thee　a　fresh　beauty；　and　that　thou　mayest
cry；　weeping　for　joy；　'It　is　only　now　that　I　am　born'？　Who　will　cause
to　gush　in　my　heart　a　fount　of　Siloam；　in　which　thou　mayest　bathe　and
recover　thy　first　purity？　Who　will　change　me　into　a　Jordan；　the　waves
of　which　sprinkled　on　thee；　will　give　thee　life　eternal？〃

Thais　was　no　longer　angry。

〃This　man；〃　she　thought；　〃talks　of　life　eternal　and　all　that　he　says
seems　written　on　a　talisman。　No　doubt　he　is　a　mage；　and　knows　secret
charms　against　old　age　and　death；〃　and　she　resolved　to　offer　herself
to　him。　Therefore；　pretending　to　be　afraid　of　him；　she　retired　a　few
steps　to　the　end　of　the　grotto；　and　sitting　down　on　the　edge　of　the
bed；　artfully　pulled　her　tunic　across　her　breast；　then；　motionless　and
mute　and　her　eyes　cast　down；　she　waited。　Her　long　eyelashes　made　a
soft　shadow　on　her　cheeks。　Her　entire　attitude　expressed　modesty；　her
naked　feet　swung　gently；　and　she　looked　like　a　child　sitting　thinking
on　the　bank　of　a　brook。　But　Paphnutius　looked　at　her；　and　did　not
move。　His　trembling　knees　hardly　supported　him；　his　tongue　dried　in
his　mouth；　a　terrible　buzzing　rang　in　his　ears。　But　all　at　once　his
sight　failed；　and　he　could　see　nothing　before　him　but　a　thick　cloud。
He　thought　that　the　hand　of　Jesus　had　been　laid　on　his　eyes；　to　hide
this　woman　from　them。　Reassured　by　such　succour；　strengthened　and
fortified；　he　said　with　a　gravity　worthy　of　an　old　hermit　of　the
desert

〃If　thou　givest　thyself　to　me；　thinkest　thou　it　is　hidden　from　God？〃

She　shook　her　head。

〃God？　Who　forces　Him　to　keep　His　eye　always　upon　the　Grotto　of　Nymphs？
Let　Him　go　away　if　we　offend　Him！　But　why　should　we　offend　Him？　Since
He　has　created　us；　He　can　be　neither　angry　nor　surprised　to　see　us　as
He　made　us；　and　acting　according　to　the　nature　He　has　given　us。　A　good
deal　too　much　is　said