falk-第19章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
〃We don't know all the circumstances;〃 I ven…
tured to break the silence。 He retorted tartly that
he didn't want to know of any。 According to his
ideas no circumstances could excuse a crimeand
certainly not such a crime。 This was the opinion
generally received。 The duty of a human being
was to starve。 Falk therefore was a beast; an ani…
mal; base; low; vile; despicable; shameless; and de…
ceitful。 He had been deceiving him since last year。
He was; however; inclined to think that Falk must
have gone mad quite recently; for no sane person;
without necessity; uselessly; for no earthly reason;
and regardless of another's self…respect and peace
of mind; would own to having devoured human
flesh。 〃Why tell?〃 he cried。 〃Who was asking
him?〃 It showed Falk's brutality because after
all he had selfishly caused him (Hermann) much
pain。 He would have preferred not to know that
such an unclean creature had been in the habit of
caressing his children。 He hoped I would say noth…
ing of all this ashore; though。 He wouldn't like it
to get about that he had been intimate with an
eater of mena common cannibal。 As to the scene
he had made (which I judged quite unnecessary)
he was not going to inconvenience and restrain
himself for a fellow that went about courting and
upsetting girls' heads; while he knew all the time
that no decent housewifely girl could think of mar…
rying him。 At least he (Hermann) could not con…
ceive how any girl could。 Fancy Lena! 。 。 。 No;
it was impossible。 The thoughts that would come
into their heads every time they sat down to a meal。
Horrible! Horrible!
〃You are too squeamish; Hermann;〃 I said。
He seemed to think it was eminently proper to be
squeamish if the word meant disgust at Falk's con…
duct; and turning up his eyes sentimentally he
drew my attention to the horrible fate of the victims
the victims of that Falk。 I said that I knew
nothing about them。 He seemed surprised。 Could
not anybody imagine without knowing? Hefor
instancefelt he would like to avenge them。 But
what ifsaid Ithere had not been any? They
might have died as it were; naturallyof starva…
tion。 He shuddered。 But to be eatenafter
death! To be devoured! He gave another deep
shudder; and asked suddenly; 〃Do you think it
is true?〃
His indignation and his personality together
would have been enough to spoil the reality of the
most authentic thing。 When I looked at him I
doubted the storybut the remembrance of Falk's
words; looks; gestures; invested it not only with
an air of reality but with the absolute truth of
primitive passion。
〃It is true just as much as you are able to make
it; and exactly in the way you like to make it。 For
my part; when I hear you clamouring about it; I
don't believe it is true at all。〃
And I left him pondering。 The men in my boat
lying at the foot of Diana's side ladder told me that
the captain of the tug had gone away in his gig
some time ago。
I let my fellows pull an easy stroke; because of
the heavy dew the clear sparkle of the stars seemed
to fall on me cold and wetting。 There was a sense
of lurking gruesome horror somewhere in my mind;
and it was mingled with clear and grotesque
images。 Schomberg's gastronomic tittle…tattle
was responsible for these; and I half hoped I
should never see Falk again。 But the first thing
my anchor…watchman told me was that the captain
of the tug was on board。 He had sent his boat
away and was now waiting for me in the cuddy。
He was lying full length on the stern settee; his
face buried in the cushions。 I had expected to see
it discomposed; contorted; despairing。 It was
nothing of the kind; it was just as I had seen it
twenty times; steady and glaring from the bridge
of the tug。 It was immovably set and hungry;
dominated like the whole man by the singleness of
one instinct。
He wanted to live。 He had always wanted to
live。 So we all dobut in us the instinct serves a
complex conception; and in him this instinct existed
alone。 There is in such simple development a gi…
gantic force; and like the pathos of a child's naive
nd uncontrolled desire。 He wanted that girl; and
the utmost that can be said for him was that he
wanted that particular girl alone。 I think I saw
then the obscure beginning; the seed germinating
in the soil of an unconscious need; the first shoot
of that tree bearing now for a mature mankind the
flower and the fruit; the infinite gradation in
shades and in flavour of our discriminating love。
He was a child。 He was as frank as a child too。
He was hungry for the girl; terribly hungry; as
he had been terribly hungry for food。
Don't be shocked if I declare that in my belief
it was the same need; the same pain; the same tor…
ture。 We are in his case allowed to contemplate
the foundation of all the emotionsthat one joy
which is to live; and the one sadness at the root of
the innumerable torments。 It was made plain by
the way he talked。 He had never suffered so。 It
was gnawing; it was fire; it was there; like this!
And after pointing below his breastbone; he made
a hard wringing motion with his hands。 And I as…
sure you that; seen as I saw it with my bodily eyes;
it was anything but laughable。 And again; as he
was presently to tell me (alluding to an early inci…
dent of the disastrous voyage when some damaged
meat had been flung overboard); he said that a
time soon came when his heart ached (that was the
expression he used); and he was ready to tear his
hair out at the thought of all that rotten beef
thrown away。
I had heard all this; I witnessed his physical
struggles; seeing the working of the rack and hear…
ing the true voice of pain。 I witnessed it all pa…
tiently; because the moment I came into the cuddy
he had called upon me to stand by himand this;
it seems; I had diplomatically promised。
His agitation was impressive and alarming in
the little cabin; like the floundering of a great
whale driven into a shallow cove in a coast。 He
stood up; he flung himself down headlong; he tried
to tear the cushion with his teeth; and again hug…
ging it fiercely to his face he let himself fall on the
couch。 The whole ship seemed to feel the shock
of his despair; and I contemplated with wonder the
lofty forehead; the noble touch of time on the un…
covered temples; the unchanged hungry character
of the faceso strangely ascetic and so incapable
of portraying emotion。
What should he do? He had lived by being
near her。 He had satin the eveningI knew?
all his life! She sewed。 Her head was bentso。
Her headlike thisand her arms。 Ah! Had I
seen? Like this。
He dropped on a stool; bowed his powerful neck
whose nape was red; and with his hands stitched
the air; ludicrous; sublimely imbecile and compre…
hensible。
And now he couldn't have her? No! That was
too much。 After thinking too that 。 。 。 What
had he done? What was my advice? Take her by
force? No? Mustn't he? Who was there then
to kill him? For the first time I saw one of his fea…
tures move; a fighting teeth…baring curl of the lip。
。 。 。 〃Not Hermann; perhaps。〃 He lost himself
in thought as though he had fallen out of the
world。
I may note that the idea of suicide apparently
did not enter his head for a single moment。 It oc…
curred to me to ask:
〃Where was it that this shipwreck of yours took
place?〃
〃Down south;〃 he said vaguely with a start。
〃You are not down south now;〃 I said。 〃Vio…
lence won't do。 They would take her away from
you in no time。 And what was the name of the
ship?〃
〃Borgmester Dahl;〃 he said。 〃It was no ship…
wreck。〃
He seemed to be waking up by degrees from that
trance; and waking up calmed。
〃Not a shipwreck? What was it?〃
〃Break down;〃 he answered; looking more like
himself every m