贝壳电子书 > 英文原著电子书 > a[1]. v. laider(a.v.雷德) >

第3章

a[1]. v. laider(a.v.雷德)-第3章

小说: a[1]. v. laider(a.v.雷德) 字数: 每页4000字

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!




that you dislike it?〃 



                                               7 


… Page 8…

                                           A。 V。 Laider 



     〃Well;〃   I   said;   with   the   thrilling   hope   that   he   was   a   companion   in 

absurdity; 〃doesn't it seem grotesque to you?〃 

     〃It seems strange。〃 

     〃You believe in it?〃 

     〃Oh; absolutely。〃 

     〃Hurrah!〃 

     He   smiled   at   my   pleasure;   and   I;   at   the   risk   of   reentanglement   in 

metaphysics;       claimed    him    as  standing    shoulder    to   shoulder    with   me 

against 〃A Melbourne Man。〃 This claim he gently disputed。 

     〃You may think me very prosaic;〃 he said; 〃but I can't believe without 

evidence。〃 

     〃Well; I'm equally prosaic and equally at a disadvantage: I can't take 

my own belief as evidence; and I've no other evidence to go on。〃 

     He asked me if I had ever made a study of palmistry。 I said I had read 

one of Desbarolles's books years ago; and one of Heron…Allen's。 But; he 

asked; had   I   tried   to   test   them  by  the   lines   on   my  own   hands   or   on   the 

hands of my friends? I confessed that my actual practice in palmistry had 

been of a merely passive kindthe prompt extension of my palm to any 

one who would be so good as to 〃read〃 it and truckle for a few minutes to 

my egoism。 (I hoped Laider might do this。) 

     〃Then I almost wonder;〃 he said; with his sad smile; 〃that you haven't 

lost your belief; after all the nonsense you must have heard。 There are so 

many young girls who go in for palmistry。 I am sure all the five foolish 

virgins were 'awfully keen on it' and used to say; 'You can be led; but not 

driven;' and; 'You are likely to have a serious illness between the ages of 

forty and forty…five;' and; 'You are by nature rather lazy; but can be very 

energetic by fits and starts。' And most of the professionals; I'm told; are as 

silly as the young girls。〃 

     For  the  honor   of   the   profession;  I   named   three   practitioners   whom  I 

had found really good at reading character。 He asked whether any of them 

had been right about past events。 I confessed that; as a matter of fact; all 

three of them had been right in the main。 This seemed to amuse him。 He 

asked whether any of them had predicted anything which had since come 

true。 I confessed that all three had predicted that I should do several things 



                                             8 


… Page 9…

                                           A。 V。 Laider 



which I had since done rather unexpectedly。 He asked if I didn't accept this 

as; at any rate; a scrap of evidence。 I said I could only regard it as a fluke 

a rather remarkable fluke。 

     The superiority of his sad smile was beginning to get on my nerves。 I 

wanted him to see that he was as absurd as I。 

     〃Suppose;〃 I said〃suppose; for the sake of argument; that you and I 

are nothing but helpless automata created to do just this and that; and to 

have just that and this done to us。 Suppose; in fact; we HAVEN'T any free 

will whatsoever。 Is it likely or conceivable that the Power which fashioned 

us would take the trouble to jot down in cipher on our hands just what was 

in store for us?〃 

     Laider   did   not   answer   this   question;   he   did   but   annoyingly   ask   me 

another。 

     〃You believe in free will?〃 

     〃Yes; of course。 I'll be hanged if I'm an automaton。〃 

     〃And     you    believe   in   free  will   just  as   in  palmistrywithout       any 

reason?〃 

     〃Oh; no。 Everything points to our having free will。〃 

     〃Everything? What; for instance?〃 

     This rather cornered me。 I dodged out; as lightly as I could; by saying: 

     〃I suppose YOU would say it's written in my hand that I should be a 

believer in free will。〃 

     〃Ah; I've no doubt it is。〃 

     I   held   out   my   palms。   But;   to   my   great   disappointment;   he   looked 

quickly away from them。 He had ceased to smile。 There was agitation in 

his   voice   as   he   explained   that   he   never   looked   at   people's   hands   now。 

〃Never nownever again。〃 He shook his head as though to beat off some 

memory。 

     I was much embarrassed by my indiscretion。 I hastened to tide over the 

awkward moment   by  saying that   if   _I_ could read   hands I   wouldn't;  for 

fear of the awful things I might see there。 

     〃Awful things; yes;〃 he whispered; nodding at the fire。 

     〃Not;〃 I said in self…defense; 〃that there's anything very awful; so far as 

I know; to be read in MY hands。〃 



                                             9 


… Page 10…

                                            A。 V。 Laider 



     He turned his gaze from the fire to me。 

     〃You aren't a murderer; for example?〃 

     〃Oh; no;〃 I replied; with a nervous laugh。 

     〃_I_ am。〃 

     This was a more than awkward; it was a painful; moment for me; and I 

am   afraid   I   must   have   started   or   winced;   for   he   instantly   begged   my 

pardon。 

     〃I don't know;〃 he exclaimed; 〃why I said it。 I'm usually a very reticent 

man。   But   sometimes〃   He   pressed   his   brow。   〃What   you   must   think   of 

me!〃 

     I begged him to dismiss the matter from his mind。 

     〃It's very good of you to say that; butI've placed myself as well as 

you in a false position。 I ask you to believe that I'm not the sort of man 

who is 'wanted' or ever was 'wanted' by the police。 I should be bowed out 

of any police…station at which I gave myself up。 I'm not a murderer in any 

bald sense of the word。 No。〃 

     My face   must have perceptibly brightened; for;  〃Ah;〃 he said;   〃don't 

imagine I'm not a murderer at all。 Morally; I am。〃 He looked at the clock。 I 

pointed out that the night was young。 He assured me that his story was not 

a long one。 I assured him that I hoped it was。 He said I was very kind。 I 

denied this。  He warned   me that   what   he had   to tell   might rather   tend  to 

stiffen   my   unwilling   faith   in   palmistry;   and   to   shake   my   opposite   and 

cherished faith in free will。 I said; 〃Never mind。〃 He stretched his hands 

pensively toward the fire。 I settled myself back in my chair。 

     〃My hands;〃 he said; staring at the backs of them; 〃are the hands of a 

very weak man。 I dare say you know enough of palmistry to see that for 

yourself。   You   notice   the   slightness   of   the   thumbs   and   of   he   two   'little' 

fingers。   They   are   the   hands   of   a   weak   and   over…sensitive   mana   man 

without confidence; a   man who would certainly waver in an   emergency。 

Rather     Hamletish      hands;〃    he   mused。    〃And     I'm   like  Hamlet     in  other 

respects;   too:   I'm   no   fool;   and   I've   rather   a   noble   disposition;   and   I'm 

unlucky。 But Hamlet was luckier than I in one thing: he was a murderer by 

accident;   whereas   the   murders   that   I   committed   one   day   fourteen   years 

agofor   I   must   tell   you   it   wasn't   one   murder;   but   many   murders   that   I 



                                              10 


… Page 11…

                                            A。 V。 Laider 



committedwere all of them due to the wretched inherent weakness of my 

own wretched self。 

     〃I    was     twenty…sixno;       twenty…seven        years    old;    and    rather    a 

nondescript person; as I am now。 I was supposed to have been called to the 

bar。 In fact; I believe I HAD been called to the bar。 I hadn't listened to the 

call。 I never intended to practise; and I never did practise。 I only wanted an 

excuse in the eyes of the world for existing。 I suppose the nearest I have 

ever come to practicing is now at this moment: I am defending a murderer。 

My father had left me well enough provided with money。 I was able to go 

my own   desultory  way;   riding my  hobbies   where

返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 0

你可能喜欢的