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第5章

the turn of the screw-第5章

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〃Did SHE see anything in the boy?〃



〃That wasn't right?  She never told me。〃



I had a scruple; but I overcame it。  〃Was she carefulparticular?〃



Mrs。 Grose appeared to try to be conscientious。

〃About some thingsyes。〃



〃But not about all?〃



Again she considered。  〃Well; missshe's gone。

I won't tell tales。〃



〃I quite understand your feeling;〃 I hastened to reply; but I thought it;

after an instant; not opposed to this concession to pursue:

〃Did she die here?〃



〃Noshe went off。〃



I don't know what there was in this brevity of Mrs。 Grose's that struck

me as ambiguous。  〃Went off to die?〃  Mrs。 Grose looked straight

out of the window; but I felt that; hypothetically; I had a right

to know what young persons engaged for Bly were expected to do。

〃She was taken ill; you mean; and went home?〃



〃She was not taken ill; so far as appeared; in this house。

She left it; at the end of the year; to go home; as she said;

for a short holiday; to which the time she had put in had

certainly given her a right。  We had then a young woman

a nursemaid who had stayed on and who was a good girl and clever;

and SHE took the children altogether for the interval。

But our young lady never came back; and at the very moment I

was expecting her I heard from the master that she was dead。〃



I turned this over。  〃But of what?〃



〃He never told me!  But please; miss;〃 said Mrs。 Grose;

〃I must get to my work。〃







                           III





Her thus turning her back on me was fortunately not; for my just

preoccupations; a snub that could check the growth of our mutual esteem。

We met; after I had brought home little Miles; more intimately

than ever on the ground of my stupefaction; my general emotion:

so monstrous was I then ready to pronounce it that such a child

as had now been revealed to me should be under an interdict。

I was a little late on the scene; and I felt; as he stood wistfully

looking out for me before the door of the inn at which the coach had

put him down; that I had seen him; on the instant; without and within;

in the great glow of freshness; the same positive fragrance of purity;

in which I had; from the first moment; seen his little sister。

He was incredibly beautiful; and Mrs。 Grose had put her finger on it:

everything but a sort of passion of tenderness for him was swept away

by his presence。  What I then and there took him to my heart for was

something divine that I have never found to the same degree in any child

his indescribable little air of knowing nothing in the world but love。

It would have been impossible to carry a bad name with a greater

sweetness of innocence; and by the time I had got back to Bly with him

I remained merely bewilderedso far; that is; as I was not outraged

by the sense of the horrible letter locked up in my room; in a drawer。

As soon as I could compass a private word with Mrs。 Grose I declared

to her that it was grotesque。



She promptly understood me。  〃You mean the cruel charge?〃



〃It doesn't live an instant。  My dear woman; LOOK at him!〃



She smiled at my pretention to have discovered his charm。

〃I assure you; miss; I do nothing else!  What will you say; then?〃

she immediately added。



〃In answer to the letter?〃  I had made up my mind。  〃Nothing。〃



〃And to his uncle?〃



I was incisive。  〃Nothing。〃



〃And to the boy himself?〃



I was wonderful。  〃Nothing。〃



She gave with her apron a great wipe to her mouth。  〃Then I'll stand by you。

We'll see it out。〃



〃We'll see it out!〃  I ardently echoed; giving her my hand to make

it a vow。



She held me there a moment; then whisked up her apron again with her

detached hand。  〃Would you mind; miss; if I used the freedom〃



〃To kiss me?  No!〃  I took the good creature in my arms and; after we

had embraced like sisters; felt still more fortified and indignant。



This; at all events; was for the time:  a time so full that;

as I recall the way it went; it reminds me of all the art

I now need to make it a little distinct。  What I look

back at with amazement is the situation I accepted。

I had undertaken; with my companion; to see it out; and I was

under a charm; apparently; that could smooth away the extent

and the far and difficult connections of such an effort。

I was lifted aloft on a great wave of infatuation and pity。

I found it simple; in my ignorance; my confusion; and perhaps

my conceit; to assume that I could deal with a boy whose

education for the world was all on the point of beginning。

I am unable even to remember at this day what proposal I framed

for the end of his holidays and the resumption of his studies。

Lessons with me; indeed; that charming summer; we all had

a theory that he was to have; but I now feel that; for weeks;

the lessons must have been rather my own。  I learned something

at first; certainlythat had not been one of the teachings of

my small; smothered life; learned to be amused; and even amusing;

and not to think for the morrow。  It was the first time;

in a manner; that I had known space and air and freedom;

all the music of summer and all the mystery of nature。

And then there was considerationand consideration was sweet。

Oh; it was a trapnot designed; but deepto my imagination;

to my delicacy; perhaps to my vanity; to whatever; in me;

was most excitable。  The best way to picture it all is to say

that I was off my guard。  They gave me so little trouble

they were of a gentleness so extraordinary。  I used to speculate

but even this with a dim disconnectednessas to how the rough future

(for all futures are rough!) would handle them and might bruise them。

They had the bloom of health and happiness; and yet;

as if I had been in charge of a pair of little grandees;

of princes of the blood; for whom everything; to be right;

would have to be enclosed and protected; the only form that;

in my fancy; the afteryears could take for them was that of

a romantic; a really royal extension of the garden and the park。

It may be; of course; above all; that what suddenly broke

into this gives the previous time a charm of stillness

that hush in which something gathers or crouches。

The change was actually like the spring of a beast。



In the first weeks the days were long; they often; at their finest;

gave me what I used to call my own hour; the hour when; for my pupils;

teatime and bedtime having come and gone; I had; before my final retirement;

a small interval alone。  Much as I liked my companions; this hour was

the thing in the day I liked most; and I liked it best of all when;

as the light fadedor rather; I should say; the day lingered and the last

calls of the last birds sounded; in a flushed sky; from the old trees

I could take a turn into the grounds and enjoy; almost with a sense

of property that amused and flattered me; the beauty and dignity of

the place。  It was a pleasure at these moments to feel myself tranquil

and justified; doubtless; perhaps; also to reflect that by my discretion;

my quiet good sense and general high propriety; I was giving pleasure

if he ever thought of it!to the person to whose pressure I had responded。

What I was doing was what he had earnestly hoped and directly asked of me;

and that I COULD; after all; do it proved even a greater joy than I

had expected。  I daresay I fancied myself; in short; a remarkable young

woman and took comfort in the faith that this would more publicly appear。

Well; I needed to be remarkable to offer a front to the remarkable things

that presently gave their first sign。



It was plump; one afternoon; in the middle of my very hour:

the children were tucked away; and I had come out for my stroll。

One of the thoughts that; as I don't in the least shrink now

from noting; used to be with me in these wanderings was that it

would be as charming as a charming story suddenly to meet someone。

Someone would appear there at the turn of a path and would stand


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