the turn of the screw-第28章

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How　could　I　put　even　a　little　of　that　article　into　a　suppression

of　reference　to　what　had　occurred？　　How；　on　the　other　hand；　could　I

make　reference　without　a　new　plunge　into　the　hideous　obscure？

Well；　a　sort　of　answer；　after　a　time；　had　come　to　me；　and　it

was　so　far　confirmed　as　that　I　was　met；　incontestably；　by　the

quickened　vision　of　what　was　rare　in　my　little　companion。

It　was　indeed　as　if　he　had　found　even　nowas　he　had　so　often

found　at　lessonsstill　some　other　delicate　way　to　ease　me　off。

Wasn't　there　light　in　the　fact　which；　as　we　shared　our　solitude；

broke　out　with　a　specious　glitter　it　had　never　yet　quite　worn？

the　fact　that　（opportunity　aiding；　precious　opportunity　which　had

now　come）　it　would　be　preposterous；　with　a　child　so　endowed；

to　forego　the　help　one　might　wrest　from　absolute　intelligence？

What　had　his　intelligence　been　given　him　for　but　to　save　him？

Mightn't　one；　to　reach　his　mind；　risk　the　stretch　of　an　angular

arm　over　his　character？　　It　was　as　if；　when　we　were　face

to　face　in　the　dining　room；　he　had　literally　shown　me　the　way。

The　roast　mutton　was　on　the　table；　and　I　had　dispensed

with　attendance。　　Miles；　before　he　sat　down；　stood　a　moment

with　his　hands　in　his　pockets　and　looked　at　the　joint；

on　which　he　seemed　on　the　point　of　passing　some　humorous　judgment。

But　what　he　presently　produced　was：　　〃I　say；　my　dear；　is　she

really　very　awfully　ill？〃



〃Little　Flora？　　Not　so　bad　but　that　she'll　presently　be　better。

London　will　set　her　up。　　Bly　had　ceased　to　agree　with　her。

Come　here　and　take　your　mutton。〃



He　alertly　obeyed　me；　carried　the　plate　carefully

to　his　seat；　and；　when　he　was　established；　went　on。

〃Did　Bly　disagree　with　her　so　terribly　suddenly？〃



〃Not　so　suddenly　as　you　might　think。　　One　had　seen　it　coming　on。〃



〃Then　why　didn't　you　get　her　off　before？〃



〃Before　what？〃



〃Before　she　became　too　ill　to　travel。〃



I　found　myself　prompt。　　〃She's　NOT　too　ill　to　travel：

she　only　might　have　become　so　if　she　had　stayed。

This　was　just　the　moment　to　seize。　　The　journey　will　dissipate

the　influence〃oh；　I　was　grand！〃and　carry　it　off。〃



〃I　see；　I　see〃Miles；　for　that　matter；　was　grand；　too。　　He　settled

to　his　repast　with　the　charming　little　〃table　manner〃　that；　from　the　day

of　his　arrival；　had　relieved　me　of　all　grossness　of　admonition。

Whatever　he　had　been　driven　from　school　for；　it　was　not　for　ugly　feeding。

He　was　irreproachable；　as　always；　today；　but　he　was　unmistakably

more　conscious。　　He　was　discernibly　trying　to　take　for　granted

more　things　than　he　found；　without　assistance；　quite　easy；

and　he　dropped　into　peaceful　silence　while　he　felt　his　situation。

Our　meal　was　of　the　briefestmine　a　vain　pretense；　and　I　had　the　things

immediately　removed。　　While　this　was　done　Miles　stood　again　with　his

hands　in　his　little　pockets　and　his　back　to　mestood　and　looked

out　of　the　wide　window　through　which；　that　other　day；　I　had　seen

what　pulled　me　up。　　We　continued　silent　while　the　maid　was　with　us

as　silent；　it　whimsically　occurred　to　me；　as　some　young　couple　who；

on　their　wedding　journey；　at　the　inn；　feel　shy　in　the　presence

of　the　waiter。　　He　turned　round　only　when　the　waiter　had　left　us。

〃Wellso　we're　alone！〃







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　XXIII





〃Oh；　more　or　less。〃　　I　fancy　my　smile　was　pale。　　〃Not　absolutely。

We　shouldn't　like　that！〃　　I　went　on。



〃NoI　suppose　we　shouldn't。　Of　course　we　have　the　others。〃



〃We　have　the　otherswe　have　indeed　the　others；〃　I　concurred。



〃Yet　even　though　we　have　them；〃　he　returned；　still　with　his

hands　in　his　pockets　and　planted　there　in　front　of　me；

〃they　don't　much　count；　do　they？〃



I　made　the　best　of　it；　but　I　felt　wan。

〃It　depends　on　what　you　call　‘much'！〃



〃Yes〃with　all　accommodation〃everything　depends！〃

On　this；　however；　he　faced　to　the　window　again　and　presently

reached　it　with　his　vague；　restless；　cogitating　step。

He　remained　there　awhile；　with　his　forehead　against　the　glass；

in　contemplation　of　the　stupid　shrubs　I　knew　and　the　dull

things　of　November。　　I　had　always　my　hypocrisy　of　〃work；〃

behind　which；　now；　I　gained　the　sofa。　　Steadying　myself

with　it　there　as　I　had　repeatedly　done　at　those　moments

of　torment　that　I　have　described　as　the　moments　of　my　knowing

the　children　to　be　given　to　something　from　which　I　was　barred；

I　sufficiently　obeyed　my　habit　of　being　prepared　for　the　worst。

But　an　extraordinary　impression　dropped　on　me　as　I

extracted　a　meaning　from　the　boy's　embarrassed　back

none　other　than　the　impression　that　I　was　not　barred　now。

This　inference　grew　in　a　few　minutes　to　sharp　intensity

and　seemed　bound　up　with　the　direct　perception　that　it　was

positively　HE　who　was。　　The　frames　and　squares　of　the　great

window　were　a　kind　of　image；　for　him；　of　a　kind　of　failure。

I　felt　that　I　saw　him；　at　any　rate；　shut　in　or　shut　out。

He　was　admirable；　but　not　comfortable：　　I　took　it　in　with　a

throb　of　hope。　　Wasn't　he　looking；　through　the　haunted　pane；

for　something　he　couldn't　see？and　wasn't　it　the　first　time

in　the　whole　business　that　he　had　known　such　a　lapse？

The　first；　the　very　first：　　I　found　it　a　splendid　portent。

It　made　him　anxious；　though　he　watched　himself；　he　had　been

anxious　all　day　and；　even　while　in　his　usual　sweet　little

manner　he　sat　at　table；　had　needed　all　his　small　strange

genius　to　give　it　a　gloss。　　When　he　at　last　turned　round

to　meet　me；　it　was　almost　as　if　this　genius　had　succumbed。

〃Well；　I　think　I'm　glad　Bly　agrees　with　ME！〃



〃You　would　certainly　seem　to　have　seen；　these　twenty…four　hours；

a　good　deal　more　of　it　than　for　some　time　before。　　I　hope；〃

I　went　on　bravely；　〃that　you've　been　enjoying　yourself。〃



〃Oh；　yes；　I've　been　ever　so　far；　all　round　aboutmiles　and　miles　away。

I've　never　been　so　free。〃



He　had　really　a　manner　of　his　own；　and　I　could　only　try　to　keep　up　with　him。

〃Well；　do　you　like　it？〃



He　stood　there　smiling；　then　at　last　he　put　into　two　words〃Do　YOU？〃

more　discrimination　than　I　had　ever　heard　two　words　contain。

Before　I　had　time　to　deal　with　that；　however；　he　continued　as　if

with　the　sense　that　this　was　an　impertinence　to　be　softened。

〃Nothing　could　be　more　charming　than　the　way　you　take　it；　for　of

course　if　we're　alone　together　now　it's　you　that　are　alone　most。

But　I　hope；〃　he　threw　in；　〃you　don't　particularly　mind！〃



〃Having　to　do　with　you？〃　　I　asked。　　〃My　dear　child；　how　can　I　help　minding？

Though　I've　renounced　all　claim　to　your　companyyou're　so　beyond　me

I　at　least　greatly　enjoy　it。　　What　else　should　I　stay　on　for？〃



He　looked　at　me　more　directly；　and　the　expression　of　his　face；

graver　now；　struck　me　as　the　most　beautiful　I　had　ever　found　in　it。

〃You　stay　on　just　for　THAT？〃



〃Certainly。　　I　stay　on　as　your　friend　and　from　the　tremendous

interest　I　take　in　you　till　something　can　be　done　for　you

that　may　be　more　worth　your　while。　　That　needn't　surprise　you。〃

My　voice　trembled　so　that　I　felt　it　impossible　to　suppress　the　shake。

〃Don't　you　remember　how　I　told　you；　when　I　came　and　sat　on　your

bed　the　night　of　the　storm；　that　there　was　nothing　in　the　world　I

wouldn't　do　for　you？〃



〃Yes；　yes！〃　　He；　on　his　side；　more　and　more　visibly　nervous；　had　a　tone

to　master；　but　he　was　so　much　more　successful　than　I　that；　laughing　out

through　his　gravity；　he　could　pretend　we　were　pleasantly　jesting。

〃Only　that；　I　think；　was　to　get　me　to　do　something　for　YOU！〃



〃It　was　partly　to　get　you　to　do　something；〃　I　conceded。

〃But；　you　know；　you　didn't　do　it。〃



〃Oh；　yes；〃　he　said　with　the　brightest　superficial　eagerness；

〃you　wanted　me　to　tell　you　something。〃



〃That's　it。　　Out；　straight　out。　　What　you　have　on　your　mind；　you　know。〃



〃Ah；　then；　is　THAT　what　you've　stayed　over　for？〃



He　spoke　with　a　gaiety　through　which　I　could　still　catch　the　finest

little　quiver　of　resentful　passion；　but　I　can't　begin　to　express

the　effect　upon　me　of　an　implication　of　surrender　even　so　faint。

It　was　as　if　what　I　had　yearn