the turn of the screw-第25章

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need　to　defend　myself　I　called　it　passionately　to　witness。

〃She's　there；　you　little　unhappy　thingthere；　there；　THERE；

and　you　see　her　as　well　as　you　see　me！〃　　I　had　said　shortly

before　to　Mrs。　Grose　that　she　was　not　at　these　times　a　child；

but　an　old；　old　woman；　and　that　description　of　her　could　not

have　been　more　strikingly　confirmed　than　in　the　way　in　which；

for　all　answer　to　this；　she　simply　showed　me；　without　a　concession；

an　admission；　of　her　eyes；　a　countenance　of　deeper　and　deeper；

of　indeed　suddenly　quite　fixed；　reprobation。　　I　was　by　this　time

if　I　can　put　the　whole　thing　at　all　togethermore　appalled

at　what　I　may　properly　call　her　manner　than　at　anything　else；

though　it　was　simultaneously　with　this　that　I　became　aware

of　having　Mrs。　Grose　also；　and　very　formidably；　to　reckon　with。

My　elder　companion；　the　next　moment；　at　any　rate；　blotted　out

everything　but　her　own　flushed　face　and　her　loud；　shocked　protest；

a　burst　of　high　disapproval。　　〃What　a　dreadful　turn；

to　be　sure；　miss！　　Where　on　earth　do　you　see　anything？〃



I　could　only　grasp　her　more　quickly　yet；　for　even　while　she

spoke　the　hideous　plain　presence　stood　undimmed　and　undaunted。

It　had　already　lasted　a　minute；　and　it　lasted　while　I　continued；

seizing　my　colleague；　quite　thrusting　her　at　it　and　presenting　her　to　it；

to　insist　with　my　pointing　hand。　　〃You　don't　see　her　exactly　as　WE　see？

you　mean　to　say　you　don't　nowNOW？　She's　as　big　as　a　blazing　fire！

Only　look；　dearest　woman；　LOOK！〃　She　looked；　even　as　I　did；

and　gave　me；　with　her　deep　groan　of　negation；　repulsion；　compassion

the　mixture　with　her　pity　of　her　relief　at　her　exemptiona　sense；

touching　to　me　even　then；　that　she　would　have　backed　me　up　if　she　could。

I　might　well　have　needed　that；　for　with　this　hard　blow　of　the　proof　that

her　eyes　were　hopelessly　sealed　I　felt　my　own　situation　horribly　crumble；

I　feltI　sawmy　livid　predecessor　press；　from　her　position；　on　my　defeat；

and　I　was　conscious；　more　than　all；　of　what　I　should　have　from　this

instant　to　deal　with　in　the　astounding　little　attitude　of　Flora。

Into　this　attitude　Mrs。　Grose　immediately　and　violently　entered；

breaking；　even　while　there　pierced　through　my　sense　of　ruin　a　prodigious

private　triumph；　into　breathless　reassurance。



〃She　isn't　there；　little　lady；　and　nobody's　thereand　you　never　see　nothing；

my　sweet！　　How　can　poor　Miss　Jesselwhen　poor　Miss　Jessel's　dead　and　buried？

WE　know；　don't　we；　love？and　she　appealed；　blundering　in；　to　the　child。

〃It's　all　a　mere　mistake　and　a　worry　and　a　jokeand　we'll　go　home　as　fast

as　we　can！〃



Our　companion；　on　this；　had　responded　with　a　strange；

quick　primness　of　propriety；　and　they　were　again；　with　Mrs。　Grose

on　her　feet；　united；　as　it　were；　in　pained　opposition　to　me。

Flora　continued　to　fix　me　with　her　small　mask　of　reprobation；

and　even　at　that　minute　I　prayed　God　to　forgive　me　for　seeming

to　see　that；　as　she　stood　there　holding　tight　to　our　friend's　dress；

her　incomparable　childish　beauty　had　suddenly　failed；

had　quite　vanished。　　I've　said　it　alreadyshe　was　literally；

she　was　hideously；　hard；　she　had　turned　common　and　almost　ugly。

〃I　don't　know　what　you　mean。　　I　see　nobody。　　I　see　nothing。

I　never　HAVE。　　I　think　you're　cruel。　　I　don't　like　you！〃

Then；　after　this　deliverance；　which　might　have　been　that　of　a

vulgarly　pert　little　girl　in　the　street；　she　hugged　Mrs。　Grose

more　closely　and　buried　in　her　skirts　the　dreadful　little　face。

In　this　position　she　produced　an　almost　furious　wail。

〃Take　me　away；　take　me　awayoh；　take　me　away　from　HER！〃



〃From　ME？〃　I　panted。



〃From　youfrom　you！〃　she　cried。



Even　Mrs。　Grose　looked　across　at　me　dismayed；　while　I　had

nothing　to　do　but　communicate　again　with　the　figure　that；

on　the　opposite　bank；　without　a　movement；　as　rigidly　still

as　if　catching；　beyond　the　interval；　our　voices；　was　as　vividly

there　for　my　disaster　as　it　was　not　there　for　my　service。

The　wretched　child　had　spoken　exactly　as　if　she　had　got　from

some　outside　source　each　of　her　stabbing　little　words；　and　I

could　therefore；　in　the　full　despair　of　all　I　had　to　accept；

but　sadly　shake　my　head　at　her。　　〃If　I　had　ever　doubted；

all　my　doubt　would　at　present　have　gone。　　I've　been　living　with

the　miserable　truth；　and　now　it　has　only　too　much　closed　round　me。

Of　course　I've　lost　you：　　I've　interfered；　and　you've　seen

under　HER　dictation〃with　which　I　faced；　over　the　pool　again；

our　infernal　witness〃the　easy　and　perfect　way　to　meet　it。

I've　done　my　best；　but　I've　lost　you。　　Goodbye。〃　　For　Mrs。　Grose

I　had　an　imperative；　an　almost　frantic　〃Go；　go！〃　before　which；

in　infinite　distress；　but　mutely　possessed　of　the　little　girl

and　clearly　convinced；　in　spite　of　her　blindness；　that　something

awful　had　occurred　and　some　collapse　engulfed　us；　she　retreated；

by　the　way　we　had　come；　as　fast　as　she　could　move。



Of　what　first　happened　when　I　was　left　alone　I　had　no　subsequent　memory。

I　only　knew　that　at　the　end　of；　I　suppose；　a　quarter　of　an　hour；

an　odorous　dampness　and　roughness；　chilling　and　piercing

my　trouble；　had　made　me　understand　that　I　must　have　thrown　myself；

on　my　face；　on　the　ground　and　given　way　to　a　wildness　of　grief。

I　must　have　lain　there　long　and　cried　and　sobbed；　for　when　I　raised

my　head　the　day　was　almost　done。　　I　got　up　and　looked　a　moment；

through　the　twilight；　at　the　gray　pool　and　its　blank；　haunted　edge；

and　then　I　took；　back　to　the　house；　my　dreary　and　difficult　course。

When　I　reached　the　gate　in　the　fence　the　boat；　to　my　surprise；　was　gone；

so　that　I　had　a　fresh　reflection　to　make　on　Flora's　extraordinary

command　of　the　situation。　　She　passed　that　night；　by　the　most　tacit；

and　I　should　add；　were　not　the　word　so　grotesque　a　false　note；

the　happiest　of　arrangements；　with　Mrs。　Grose。　　I　saw　neither　of　them

on　my　return；　but；　on　the　other　hand；　as　by　an　ambiguous　compensation；

I　saw　a　great　deal　of　Miles。　　I　sawI　can　use　no　other　phrase

so　much　of　him　that　it　was　as　if　it　were　more　than　it　had　ever　been。

No　evening　I　had　passed　at　Bly　had　the　portentous　quality　of　this　one；

in　spite　of　whichand　in　spite　also　of　the　deeper　depths　of

consternation　that　had　opened　beneath　my　feetthere　was　literally；

in　the　ebbing　actual；　an　extraordinarily　sweet　sadness。

On　reaching　the　house　I　had　never　so　much　as　looked　for　the　boy；

I　had　simply　gone　straight　to　my　room　to　change　what　I　was　wearing

and　to　take　in；　at　a　glance；　much　material　testimony　to　Flora's　rupture。

Her　little　belongings　had　all　been　removed。　　When　later；

by　the　schoolroom　fire；　I　was　served　with　tea　by　the　usual　maid；

I　indulged；　on　the　article　of　my　other　pupil；　in　no　inquiry　whatever。

He　had　his　freedom　nowhe　might　have　it　to　the　end！　　Well；　he　did

have　it；　and　it　consistedin　part　at　leastof　his　coming

in　at　about　eight　o'clock　and　sitting　down　with　me　in　silence。

On　the　removal　of　the　tea　things　I　had　blown　out　the　candles

and　drawn　my　chair　closer：　　I　was　conscious　of　a　mortal　coldness

and　felt　as　if　I　should　never　again　be　warm。　　So；　when　he　appeared；

I　was　sitting　in　the　glow　with　my　thoughts。　　He　paused　a　moment

by　the　door　as　if　to　look　at　me；　thenas　if　to　share　them

came　to　the　other　side　of　the　hearth　and　sank　into　a　chair。

We　sat　there　in　absolute　stillness；　yet　he　wanted；　I　felt；

to　be　with　me。







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　XXI





Before　a　new　day；　in　my　room；　had　fully　broken；　my　eyes　opened

to　Mrs。　Grose；　who　had　come　to　my　bedside　with　worse　news。

Flora　was　so　markedly　feverish　that　an　illness　was　perhaps　at　hand；

she　had　passed　a　night　of　extreme　unrest；　a　night　agitated　above

all　by　fears　that　had　for　their　subject　not　in　the　least　her　former；

but　wholly　her　present；　governess。　　It　was　not　against　the　possible

re…entrance　of　Miss　Jessel　on　the　scene　that　she　protested

it　was　conspicuously　and　passionately　against　mine。　　I　was　promptly

on　my　feet　of　course；　and　with　an　immense　deal　to　ask；　the　more　that　my

friend　had　discernibly　now　girded　her