the turn of the screw-第17章
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on my recognition of all the reserves of goodness that; for his joke;
he had been able to draw upon。
XII
The particular impression I had received proved in the morning light;
I repeat; not quite successfully presentable to Mrs。 Grose;
though I reinforced it with the mention of still another remark
that he had made before we separated。 〃It all lies in half a
dozen words;〃 I said to her; 〃words that really settle the matter。
'Think; you know; what I MIGHT do!' He threw that off to show
me how good he is。 He knows down to the ground what he ‘might' do。
That's what he gave them a taste of at school。〃
〃Lord; you do change!〃 cried my friend。
〃I don't changeI simply make it out。 The four; depend upon it;
perpetually meet。 If on either of these last nights you had
been with either child; you would clearly have understood。
The more I've watched and waited the more I've felt that if
there were nothing else to make it sure it would be made
so by the systematic silence of each。 NEVER; by a slip
of the tongue; have they so much as alluded to either of their
old friends; any more than Miles has alluded to his expulsion。
Oh; yes; we may sit here and look at them; and they may show
off to us there to their fill; but even while they pretend
to be lost in their fairytale they're steeped in their vision
of the dead restored。 He's not reading to her;〃 I declared;
〃they're talking of THEMthey're talking horrors!
I go on; I know; as if I were crazy; and it's a wonder I'm not。
What I've seen would have made YOU so; but it has only made
me more lucid; made me get hold of still other things。〃
My lucidity must have seemed awful; but the charming creatures
who were victims of it; passing and repassing in their
interlocked sweetness; gave my colleague something to hold on by;
and I felt how tight she held as; without stirring in the breath
of my passion; she covered them still with her eyes。
〃Of what other things have you got hold?〃
〃Why; of the very things that have delighted; fascinated; and yet;
at bottom; as I now so strangely see; mystified and troubled me。
Their more than earthly beauty; their absolutely unnatural goodness。
It's a game;〃 I went on; 〃it's a policy and a fraud!〃
〃On the part of little darlings?〃
〃As yet mere lovely babies? Yes; mad as that seems!〃
The very act of bringing it out really helped me to
trace itfollow it all up and piece it all together。
〃They haven't been goodthey've only been absent。
It has been easy to live with them; because they're simply leading
a life of their own。 They're not minethey're not ours。
They're his and they're hers!〃
〃Quint's and that woman's?〃
〃Quint's and that woman's。 They want to get to them。〃
Oh; how; at this; poor Mrs。 Grose appeared to study them!
〃But for what?〃
〃For the love of all the evil that; in those dreadful days;
the pair put into them。 And to ply them with that evil still;
to keep up the work of demons; is what brings the others back。〃
〃Laws!〃 said my friend under her breath。 The exclamation was homely; but it
revealed a real acceptance of my further proof of what; in the bad time
for there had been a worse even than this!must have occurred。 There could
have been no such justification for me as the plain assent of her experience
to whatever depth of depravity I found credible in our brace of scoundrels。
It was in obvious submission of memory that she brought out after a moment:
〃They WERE rascals! But what can they now do?〃 she pursued。
〃Do?〃 I echoed so loud that Miles and Flora; as they passed at
their distance; paused an instant in their walk and looked at us。
〃Don't they do enough?〃 I demanded in a lower tone; while the children;
having smiled and nodded and kissed hands to us; resumed their exhibition。
We were held by it a minute; then I answered: 〃They can destroy them!〃
At this my companion did turn; but the inquiry she launched was
a silent one; the effect of which was to make me more explicit。
〃They don't know; as yet; quite howbut they're trying hard。
They're seen only across; as it were; and beyondin strange places
and on high places; the top of towers; the roof of houses; the outside
of windows; the further edge of pools; but there's a deep design;
on either side; to shorten the distance and overcome the obstacle;
and the success of the tempters is only a question of time。
They've only to keep to their suggestions of danger。〃
〃For the children to come?〃
〃And perish in the attempt!〃 Mrs。 Grose slowly got up;
and I scrupulously added: 〃Unless; of course; we can prevent!〃
Standing there before me while I kept my seat; she visibly
turned things over。 〃Their uncle must do the preventing。
He must take them away。〃
〃And who's to make him?〃
She had been scanning the distance; but she now dropped on me
a foolish face。 〃You; miss。〃
〃By writing to him that his house is poisoned and his little
nephew and niece mad?〃
〃But if they ARE; miss?〃
〃And if I am myself; you mean? That's charming news to be sent him
by a governess whose prime undertaking was to give him no worry。〃
Mrs。 Grose considered; following the children again。 〃Yes; he do hate worry。
That was the great reason〃
〃Why those fiends took him in so long? No doubt; though his
indifference must have been awful。 As I'm not a fiend;
at any rate; I shouldn't take him in。〃
My companion; after an instant and for all answer; sat down again
and grasped my arm。 〃Make him at any rate come to you。〃
I stared。 〃To ME?〃 I had a sudden fear of what she might do。 〃'Him'?〃
〃He ought to BE herehe ought to help。〃
I quickly rose; and I think I must have shown her a queerer face
than ever yet。 〃You see me asking him for a visit?〃 No; with her
eyes on my face she evidently couldn't。 Instead of it even
as a woman reads anothershe could see what I myself saw:
his derision; his amusement; his contempt for the breakdown
of my resignation at being left alone and for the fine machinery I
had set in motion to attract his attention to my slighted charms。
She didn't knowno one knewhow proud I had been to serve
him and to stick to our terms; yet she nonetheless took
the measure; I think; of the warning I now gave her。
〃If you should so lose your head as to appeal to him for me〃
She was really frightened。 〃Yes; miss?〃
〃I would leave; on the spot; both him and you。〃
XIII
It was all very well to join them; but speaking to them proved
quite as much as ever an effort beyond my strengthoffered;
in close quarters; difficulties as insurmountable as before。
This situation continued a month; and with new aggravations
and particular notes; the note above all; sharper and sharper;
of the small ironic consciousness on the part of my pupils。
It was not; I am as sure today as I was sure then; my mere
infernal imagination: it was absolutely traceable that they
were aware of my predicament and that this strange relation made;
in a manner; for a long time; the air in which we moved。
I don't mean that they had their tongues in their cheeks or did
anything vulgar; for that was not one of their dangers:
I do mean; on the other hand; that the element of the unnamed
and untouched became; between us; greater than any other;
and that so much avoidance could not have been so successfully
effected without a great deal of tacit arrangement。
It was as if; at moments; we were perpetually coming into sight
of subjects before which we must stop short; turning suddenly
out of alleys that we perceived to be blind; closing with a little
bang that made us look at each otherfor; like all bangs;
it was something louder than we had intendedthe doors we
had indiscreetly opened。 All roads lead to Rome; and there
were times when it might have struck us that almost every branch
of