the turn of the screw-第15章

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as　before　the　excess　of　something　beautiful　that　shone　out　of　the　blue

of　her　own。　　〃You　were　looking　for　me　out　of　the　window？〃　　I　said。

〃You　thought　I　might　be　walking　in　the　grounds？〃



〃Well；　you　know；　I　thought　someone　was〃she　never　blanched　as　she

smiled　out　that　at　me。



Oh；　how　I　looked　at　her　now！　　〃And　did　you　see　anyone？〃



〃Ah；　NO！〃　she　returned；　almost　with　the　full　privilege

of　childish　inconsequence；　resentfully；　though　with　a　long

sweetness　in　her　little　drawl　of　the　negative。



At　that　moment；　in　the　state　of　my　nerves；　I　absolutely　believed

she　lied；　and　if　I　once　more　closed　my　eyes　it　was　before　the　dazzle

of　the　three　or　four　possible　ways　in　which　I　might　take　this　up。

One　of　these；　for　a　moment；　tempted　me　with　such　singular　intensity　that；

to　withstand　it；　I　must　have　gripped　my　little　girl　with　a　spasm　that；

wonderfully；　she　submitted　to　without　a　cry　or　a　sign　of　fright。

Why　not　break　out　at　her　on　the　spot　and　have　it　all　over？

give　it　to　her　straight　in　her　lovely　little　lighted　face？

〃You　see；　you　see；　you　KNOW　that　you　do　and　that　you　already　quite

suspect　I　believe　it；　therefore；　why　not　frankly　confess　it　to　me；

so　that　we　may　at　least　live　with　it　together　and　learn　perhaps；

in　the　strangeness　of　our　fate；　where　we　are　and　what　it　means？〃

This　solicitation　dropped；　alas；　as　it　came：　　if　I　could　immediately

have　succumbed　to　it　I　might　have　spared　myselfwell；　you'll　see　what。

Instead　of　succumbing　I　sprang　again　to　my　feet；　looked　at　her　bed；

and　took　a　helpless　middle　way。　　〃Why　did　you　pull　the　curtain

over　the　place　to　make　me　think　you　were　still　there？〃



Flora　luminously　considered；　after　which；　with　her　little　divine　smile：

〃Because　I　don't　like　to　frighten　you！〃



〃But　if　I　had；　by　your　idea；　gone　out？〃



She　absolutely　declined　to　be　puzzled；　she　turned　her　eyes　to　the　flame

of　the　candle　as　if　the　question　were　as　irrelevant；　or　at　any　rate

as　impersonal；　as　Mrs。　Marcet　or　nine…times…nine。　〃Oh；　but　you　know；〃

she　quite　adequately　answered；　〃that　you　might　come　back；　you　dear；

and　that　you　HAVE！〃　And　after　a　little；　when　she　had　got　into　bed；

I　had；　for　a　long　time；　by　almost　sitting　on　her　to　hold　her　hand；

to　prove　that　I　recognized　the　pertinence　of　my　return。



You　may　imagine　the　general　complexion；　from　that　moment；　of　my　nights。

I　repeatedly　sat　up　till　I　didn't　know　when；　I　selected　moments　when　my

roommate　unmistakably　slept；　and；　stealing　out；　took　noiseless　turns

in　the　passage　and　even　pushed　as　far　as　to　where　I　had　last　met　Quint。

But　I　never　met　him　there　again；　and　I　may　as　well　say　at　once

that　I　on　no　other　occasion　saw　him　in　the　house。　　I　just　missed；

on　the　staircase；　on　the　other　hand；　a　different　adventure。

Looking　down　it　from　the　top　I　once　recognized　the　presence　of　a　woman

seated　on　one　of　the　lower　steps　with　her　back　presented　to　me；

her　body　half…bowed　and　her　head；　in　an　attitude　of　woe；　in　her　hands。

I　had　been　there　but　an　instant；　however；　when　she　vanished　without

looking　round　at　me。　　I　knew；　nonetheless；　exactly　what　dreadful　face

she　had　to　show；　and　I　wondered　whether；　if　instead　of　being　above　I　had

been　below；　I　should　have　had；　for　going　up；　the　same　nerve　I　had　lately

shown　Quint。　　Well；　there　continued　to　be　plenty　of　chance　for　nerve。

On　the　eleventh　night　after　my　latest　encounter　with　that　gentleman

they　were　all　numbered　nowI　had　an　alarm　that　perilously　skirted　it

and　that　indeed；　from　the　particular　quality　of　its　unexpectedness；

proved　quite　my　sharpest　shock。　　It　was　precisely　the　first　night　during

this　series　that；　weary　with　watching；　I　had　felt　that　I　might　again

without　laxity　lay　myself　down　at　my　old　hour。　　I　slept　immediately　and；

as　I　afterward　knew；　till　about　one　o'clock；　but　when　I　woke　it　was

to　sit　straight　up；　as　completely　roused　as　if　a　hand　had　shook　me。

I　had　left　a　light　burning；　but　it　was　now　out；　and　I　felt　an　instant

certainty　that　Flora　had　extinguished　it。　　This　brought　me　to　my　feet

and　straight；　in　the　darkness；　to　her　bed；　which　I　found　she　had　left。

A　glance　at　the　window　enlightened　me　further；　and　the　striking　of　a　match

completed　the　picture。



The　child　had　again　got　upthis　time　blowing　out　the　taper；　and　had　again；

for　some　purpose　of　observation　or　response；　squeezed　in　behind

the　blind　and　was　peering　out　into　the　night。　　That　she　now　saw

as　she　had　not；　I　had　satisfied　myself；　the　previous　timewas　proved

to　me　by　the　fact　that　she　was　disturbed　neither　by　my　reillumination

nor　by　the　haste　I　made　to　get　into　slippers　and　into　a　wrap。

Hidden；　protected；　absorbed；　she　evidently　rested　on　the　sill

the　casement　opened　forwardand　gave　herself　up。　　There　was　a　great

still　moon　to　help　her；　and　this　fact　had　counted　in　my　quick　decision。

She　was　face　to　face　with　the　apparition　we　had　met　at　the　lake；

and　could　now　communicate　with　it　as　she　had　not　then　been　able　to　do。

What　I；　on　my　side；　had　to　care　for　was；　without　disturbing　her；

to　reach；　from　the　corridor；　some　other　window　in　the　same　quarter。

I　got　to　the　door　without　her　hearing　me；　I　got　out　of　it；　closed　it；

and　listened；　from　the　other　side；　for　some　sound　from　her。

While　I　stood　in　the　passage　I　had　my　eyes　on　her　brother's　door；

which　was　but　ten　steps　off　and　which；　indescribably；　produced　in　me

a　renewal　of　the　strange　impulse　that　I　lately　spoke　of　as　my　temptation。

What　if　I　should　go　straight　in　and　march　to　HIS　window？what　if；

by　risking　to　his　boyish　bewilderment　a　revelation　of　my　motive；

I　should　throw　across　the　rest　of　the　mystery　the　long　halter

of　my　boldness？



This　thought　held　me　sufficiently　to　make　me　cross　to　his

threshold　and　pause　again。　　I　preternaturally　listened；　I　figured

to　myself　what　might　portentously　be；　I　wondered　if　his　bed　were

also　empty　and　he　too　were　secretly　at　watch。　　It　was　a　deep；

soundless　minute；　at　the　end　of　which　my　impulse　failed。

He　was　quiet；　he　might　be　innocent；　the　risk　was　hideous；

I　turned　away。　　There　was　a　figure　in　the　groundsa　figure

prowling　for　a　sight；　the　visitor　with　whom　Flora　was　engaged；

but　it　was　not　the　visitor　most　concerned　with　my　boy。

I　hesitated　afresh；　but　on　other　grounds　and　only　for　a　few　seconds；

then　I　had　made　my　choice。　　There　were　empty　rooms　at　Bly；

and　it　was　only　a　question　of　choosing　the　right　one。

The　right　one　suddenly　presented　itself　to　me　as　the　lower　one

though　high　above　the　gardensin　the　solid　corner　of　the　house

that　I　have　spoken　of　as　the　old　tower。　　This　was　a　large；

square　chamber；　arranged　with　some　state　as　a　bedroom；　the　extravagant

size　of　which　made　it　so　inconvenient　that　it　had　not　for　years；

though　kept　by　Mrs。　Grose　in　exemplary　order；　been　occupied。

I　had　often　admired　it　and　I　knew　my　way　about　in　it；　I　had　only；

after　just　faltering　at　the　first　chill　gloom　of　its　disuse；

to　pass　across　it　and　unbolt　as　quietly　as　I　could　one　of

the　shutters。　　Achieving　this　transit；　I　uncovered　the　glass

without　a　sound　and；　applying　my　face　to　the　pane；　was　able；

the　darkness　without　being　much　less　than　within；　to　see　that　I

commanded　the　right　direction。　　Then　I　saw　something　more。

The　moon　made　the　night　extraordinarily　penetrable　and

showed　me　on　the　lawn　a　person；　diminished　by　distance；

who　stood　there　motionless　and　as　if　fascinated；　looking　up

to　where　I　had　appearedlooking；　that　is；　not　so　much

straight　at　me　as　at　something　that　was　apparently　above　me。

There　was　clearly　another　person　above　methere　was　a　person

on　the　tower；　but　the　presence　on　the　lawn　was　not　in　the　least

what　I　had　conceived　and　had　confidently　hurried　to　meet。

The　presence　on　the　lawnI　felt　sick　as　I　made　it　out

was　poor　little　Miles　himself。







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　XI





It　was　not　till　late　next　day　that　I　spoke　to　Mrs。　Grose；

the　rigor　with　which　I　kept　my　pupils　in　sight　making　it　often

difficult　to　meet　her　privately；　and　the　more　as　we　each　felt

the　import