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第12章

the turn of the screw-第12章

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the face of what; in our prodigious experience; was least to be questioned。

Late that night; while the house slept; we had another talk in my room;

when she went all the way with me as to its being beyond doubt that I

had seen exactly what I had seen。  To hold her perfectly in the pinch

of that; I found I had only to ask her how; if I had 〃made it up;〃

I came to be able to give; of each of the persons appearing to me;

a picture disclosing; to the last detail; their special marksa portrait

on the exhibition of which she had instantly recognized and named them。

She wished of coursesmall blame to her!to sink the whole subject;

and I was quick to assure her that my own interest in it had now

violently taken the form of a search for the way to escape from it。

I encountered her on the ground of a probability that with recurrence

for recurrence we took for grantedI should get used to my danger;

distinctly professing that my personal exposure had suddenly become

the least of my discomforts。  It was my new suspicion that was intolerable;

and yet even to this complication the later hours of the day had brought

a little ease。



On leaving her; after my first outbreak; I had of course returned

to my pupils; associating the right remedy for my dismay with

that sense of their charm which I had already found to be a thing

I could positively cultivate and which had never failed me yet。

I had simply; in other words; plunged afresh into Flora's

special society and there become awareit was almost a luxury!

that she could put her little conscious hand straight upon

the spot that ached。  She had looked at me in sweet speculation

and then had accused me to my face of having 〃cried。〃

I had supposed I had brushed away the ugly signs:  but I

could literallyfor the time; at all eventsrejoice; under this

fathomless charity; that they had not entirely disappeared。

To gaze into the depths of blue of the child's eyes and pronounce

their loveliness a trick of premature cunning was to be guilty

of a cynicism in preference to which I naturally preferred

to abjure my judgment and; so far as might be; my agitation。

I couldn't abjure for merely wanting to; but I could repeat

to Mrs。 Groseas I did there; over and over; in the small hours

that with their voices in the air; their pressure on one's heart;

and their fragrant faces against one's cheek; everything fell

to the ground but their incapacity and their beauty。

It was a pity that; somehow; to settle this once for all;

I had equally to re…enumerate the signs of subtlety that;

in the afternoon; by the lake had made a miracle of my show

of self…possession。 It was a pity to be obliged to reinvestigate

the certitude of the moment itself and repeat how it had come

to me as a revelation that the inconceivable communion I

then surprised was a matter; for either party; of habit。

It was a pity that I should have had to quaver out again

the reasons for my not having; in my delusion; so much

as questioned that the little girl saw our visitant even

as I actually saw Mrs。 Grose herself; and that she wanted;

by just so much as she did thus see; to make me suppose she

didn't; and at the same time; without showing anything;

arrive at a guess as to whether I myself did!  It was a pity

that I needed once more to describe the portentous little activity

by which she sought to divert my attentionthe perceptible

increase of movement; the greater intensity of play; the singing;

the gabbling of nonsense; and the invitation to romp。



Yet if I had not indulged; to prove there was nothing in it;

in this review; I should have missed the two or three dim elements

of comfort that still remained to me。  I should not for instance have

been able to asseverate to my friend that I was certainwhich was

so much to the goodthat _I_ at least had not betrayed myself。

I should not have been prompted; by stress of need; by desperation

of mindI scarce know what to call itto invoke such further

aid to intelligence as might spring from pushing my colleague

fairly to the wall。  She had told me; bit by bit; under pressure;

a great deal; but a small shifty spot on the wrong side of it

all still sometimes brushed my brow like the wing of a bat;

and I remember how on this occasionfor the sleeping house and

the concentration alike of our danger and our watch seemed to help

I felt the importance of giving the last jerk to the curtain。

〃I don't believe anything so horrible;〃 I recollect saying;

〃no; let us put it definitely; my dear; that I don't。 But if I did;

you know; there's a thing I should require now; just without sparing

you the least bit moreoh; not a scrap; come!to get out of you。

What was it you had in mind when; in our distress; before Miles came back;

over the letter from his school; you said; under my insistence;

that you didn't pretend for him that he had not literally EVER

been ‘bad'? He has NOT literally ‘ever;' in these weeks that I

myself have lived with him and so closely watched him; he has been

an imperturbable little prodigy of delightful; lovable goodness。

Therefore you might perfectly have made the claim for him

if you had not; as it happened; seen an exception to take。

What was your exception; and to what passage in your personal

observation of him did you refer?〃



It was a dreadfully austere inquiry; but levity was not our note; and; at any

rate; before the gray dawn admonished us to separate I had got my answer。

What my friend had had in mind proved to be immensely to the purpose。

It was neither more nor less than the circumstance that for a period

of several months Quint and the boy had been perpetually together。

It was in fact the very appropriate truth that she had ventured to criticize

the propriety; to hint at the incongruity; of so close an alliance;

and even to go so far on the subject as a frank overture to Miss Jessel。

Miss Jessel had; with a most strange manner; requested her to mind her

business; and the good woman had; on this; directly approached little Miles。

What she had said to him; since I pressed; was that SHE liked to see

young gentlemen not forget their station。



I pressed again; of course; at this。  〃You reminded him that Quint

was only a base menial?〃



〃As you might say!  And it was his answer; for one thing;

that was bad。〃



〃And for another thing?〃  I waited。  〃He repeated your words to Quint?〃



〃No; not that。  It's just what he WOULDN'T!〃 she could

still impress upon me。  〃I was sure; at any rate;〃 she added;

〃that he didn't。 But he denied certain occasions。〃



〃What occasions?〃



〃When they had been about together quite as if Quint were his tutor

and a very grand oneand Miss Jessel only for the little lady。

When he had gone off with the fellow; I mean; and spent hours with him。〃



〃He then prevaricated about ithe said he hadn't?〃

Her assent was clear enough to cause me to add in a moment:

〃I see。  He lied。〃



〃Oh!〃  Mrs。 Grose mumbled。  This was a suggestion that it didn't matter;

which indeed she backed up by a further remark。  〃You see; after all;

Miss Jessel didn't mind。  She didn't forbid him。〃



I considered。  〃Did he put that to you as a justification?〃



At this she dropped again。  〃No; he never spoke of it。〃



〃Never mentioned her in connection with Quint?〃



She saw; visibly flushing; where I was coming out。  〃Well; he didn't

show anything。  He denied;〃 she repeated; 〃he denied。〃



Lord; how I pressed her now!  〃So that you could see he knew

what was between the two wretches?〃



〃I don't knowI don't know!〃 the poor woman groaned。



〃You do know; you dear thing;〃 I replied; 〃only you haven't

my dreadful boldness of mind; and you keep back; out of timidity

and modesty and delicacy; even the impression that; in the past;

when you had; without my aid; to flounder about in silence;

most of all made you miserable。  But I shall get it out of you yet!

There was something in the boy that suggested to 

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