the turn of the screw-第12章

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the　face　of　what；　in　our　prodigious　experience；　was　least　to　be　questioned。

Late　that　night；　while　the　house　slept；　we　had　another　talk　in　my　room；

when　she　went　all　the　way　with　me　as　to　its　being　beyond　doubt　that　I

had　seen　exactly　what　I　had　seen。　　To　hold　her　perfectly　in　the　pinch

of　that；　I　found　I　had　only　to　ask　her　how；　if　I　had　〃made　it　up；〃

I　came　to　be　able　to　give；　of　each　of　the　persons　appearing　to　me；

a　picture　disclosing；　to　the　last　detail；　their　special　marksa　portrait

on　the　exhibition　of　which　she　had　instantly　recognized　and　named　them。

She　wished　of　coursesmall　blame　to　her！to　sink　the　whole　subject；

and　I　was　quick　to　assure　her　that　my　own　interest　in　it　had　now

violently　taken　the　form　of　a　search　for　the　way　to　escape　from　it。

I　encountered　her　on　the　ground　of　a　probability　that　with　recurrence

for　recurrence　we　took　for　grantedI　should　get　used　to　my　danger；

distinctly　professing　that　my　personal　exposure　had　suddenly　become

the　least　of　my　discomforts。　　It　was　my　new　suspicion　that　was　intolerable；

and　yet　even　to　this　complication　the　later　hours　of　the　day　had　brought

a　little　ease。



On　leaving　her；　after　my　first　outbreak；　I　had　of　course　returned

to　my　pupils；　associating　the　right　remedy　for　my　dismay　with

that　sense　of　their　charm　which　I　had　already　found　to　be　a　thing

I　could　positively　cultivate　and　which　had　never　failed　me　yet。

I　had　simply；　in　other　words；　plunged　afresh　into　Flora's

special　society　and　there　become　awareit　was　almost　a　luxury！

that　she　could　put　her　little　conscious　hand　straight　upon

the　spot　that　ached。　　She　had　looked　at　me　in　sweet　speculation

and　then　had　accused　me　to　my　face　of　having　〃cried。〃

I　had　supposed　I　had　brushed　away　the　ugly　signs：　　but　I

could　literallyfor　the　time；　at　all　eventsrejoice；　under　this

fathomless　charity；　that　they　had　not　entirely　disappeared。

To　gaze　into　the　depths　of　blue　of　the　child's　eyes　and　pronounce

their　loveliness　a　trick　of　premature　cunning　was　to　be　guilty

of　a　cynicism　in　preference　to　which　I　naturally　preferred

to　abjure　my　judgment　and；　so　far　as　might　be；　my　agitation。

I　couldn't　abjure　for　merely　wanting　to；　but　I　could　repeat

to　Mrs。　Groseas　I　did　there；　over　and　over；　in　the　small　hours

that　with　their　voices　in　the　air；　their　pressure　on　one's　heart；

and　their　fragrant　faces　against　one's　cheek；　everything　fell

to　the　ground　but　their　incapacity　and　their　beauty。

It　was　a　pity　that；　somehow；　to　settle　this　once　for　all；

I　had　equally　to　re…enumerate　the　signs　of　subtlety　that；

in　the　afternoon；　by　the　lake　had　made　a　miracle　of　my　show

of　self…possession。　It　was　a　pity　to　be　obliged　to　reinvestigate

the　certitude　of　the　moment　itself　and　repeat　how　it　had　come

to　me　as　a　revelation　that　the　inconceivable　communion　I

then　surprised　was　a　matter；　for　either　party；　of　habit。

It　was　a　pity　that　I　should　have　had　to　quaver　out　again

the　reasons　for　my　not　having；　in　my　delusion；　so　much

as　questioned　that　the　little　girl　saw　our　visitant　even

as　I　actually　saw　Mrs。　Grose　herself；　and　that　she　wanted；

by　just　so　much　as　she　did　thus　see；　to　make　me　suppose　she

didn't；　and　at　the　same　time；　without　showing　anything；

arrive　at　a　guess　as　to　whether　I　myself　did！　　It　was　a　pity

that　I　needed　once　more　to　describe　the　portentous　little　activity

by　which　she　sought　to　divert　my　attentionthe　perceptible

increase　of　movement；　the　greater　intensity　of　play；　the　singing；

the　gabbling　of　nonsense；　and　the　invitation　to　romp。



Yet　if　I　had　not　indulged；　to　prove　there　was　nothing　in　it；

in　this　review；　I　should　have　missed　the　two　or　three　dim　elements

of　comfort　that　still　remained　to　me。　　I　should　not　for　instance　have

been　able　to　asseverate　to　my　friend　that　I　was　certainwhich　was

so　much　to　the　goodthat　_I_　at　least　had　not　betrayed　myself。

I　should　not　have　been　prompted；　by　stress　of　need；　by　desperation

of　mindI　scarce　know　what　to　call　itto　invoke　such　further

aid　to　intelligence　as　might　spring　from　pushing　my　colleague

fairly　to　the　wall。　　She　had　told　me；　bit　by　bit；　under　pressure；

a　great　deal；　but　a　small　shifty　spot　on　the　wrong　side　of　it

all　still　sometimes　brushed　my　brow　like　the　wing　of　a　bat；

and　I　remember　how　on　this　occasionfor　the　sleeping　house　and

the　concentration　alike　of　our　danger　and　our　watch　seemed　to　help

I　felt　the　importance　of　giving　the　last　jerk　to　the　curtain。

〃I　don't　believe　anything　so　horrible；〃　I　recollect　saying；

〃no；　let　us　put　it　definitely；　my　dear；　that　I　don't。　But　if　I　did；

you　know；　there's　a　thing　I　should　require　now；　just　without　sparing

you　the　least　bit　moreoh；　not　a　scrap；　come！to　get　out　of　you。

What　was　it　you　had　in　mind　when；　in　our　distress；　before　Miles　came　back；

over　the　letter　from　his　school；　you　said；　under　my　insistence；

that　you　didn't　pretend　for　him　that　he　had　not　literally　EVER

been　‘bad'？　He　has　NOT　literally　‘ever；'　in　these　weeks　that　I

myself　have　lived　with　him　and　so　closely　watched　him；　he　has　been

an　imperturbable　little　prodigy　of　delightful；　lovable　goodness。

Therefore　you　might　perfectly　have　made　the　claim　for　him

if　you　had　not；　as　it　happened；　seen　an　exception　to　take。

What　was　your　exception；　and　to　what　passage　in　your　personal

observation　of　him　did　you　refer？〃



It　was　a　dreadfully　austere　inquiry；　but　levity　was　not　our　note；　and；　at　any

rate；　before　the　gray　dawn　admonished　us　to　separate　I　had　got　my　answer。

What　my　friend　had　had　in　mind　proved　to　be　immensely　to　the　purpose。

It　was　neither　more　nor　less　than　the　circumstance　that　for　a　period

of　several　months　Quint　and　the　boy　had　been　perpetually　together。

It　was　in　fact　the　very　appropriate　truth　that　she　had　ventured　to　criticize

the　propriety；　to　hint　at　the　incongruity；　of　so　close　an　alliance；

and　even　to　go　so　far　on　the　subject　as　a　frank　overture　to　Miss　Jessel。

Miss　Jessel　had；　with　a　most　strange　manner；　requested　her　to　mind　her

business；　and　the　good　woman　had；　on　this；　directly　approached　little　Miles。

What　she　had　said　to　him；　since　I　pressed；　was　that　SHE　liked　to　see

young　gentlemen　not　forget　their　station。



I　pressed　again；　of　course；　at　this。　　〃You　reminded　him　that　Quint

was　only　a　base　menial？〃



〃As　you　might　say！　　And　it　was　his　answer；　for　one　thing；

that　was　bad。〃



〃And　for　another　thing？〃　　I　waited。　　〃He　repeated　your　words　to　Quint？〃



〃No；　not　that。　　It's　just　what　he　WOULDN'T！〃　she　could

still　impress　upon　me。　　〃I　was　sure；　at　any　rate；〃　she　added；

〃that　he　didn't。　But　he　denied　certain　occasions。〃



〃What　occasions？〃



〃When　they　had　been　about　together　quite　as　if　Quint　were　his　tutor

and　a　very　grand　oneand　Miss　Jessel　only　for　the　little　lady。

When　he　had　gone　off　with　the　fellow；　I　mean；　and　spent　hours　with　him。〃



〃He　then　prevaricated　about　ithe　said　he　hadn't？〃

Her　assent　was　clear　enough　to　cause　me　to　add　in　a　moment：

〃I　see。　　He　lied。〃



〃Oh！〃　　Mrs。　Grose　mumbled。　　This　was　a　suggestion　that　it　didn't　matter；

which　indeed　she　backed　up　by　a　further　remark。　　〃You　see；　after　all；

Miss　Jessel　didn't　mind。　　She　didn't　forbid　him。〃



I　considered。　　〃Did　he　put　that　to　you　as　a　justification？〃



At　this　she　dropped　again。　　〃No；　he　never　spoke　of　it。〃



〃Never　mentioned　her　in　connection　with　Quint？〃



She　saw；　visibly　flushing；　where　I　was　coming　out。　　〃Well；　he　didn't

show　anything。　　He　denied；〃　she　repeated；　〃he　denied。〃



Lord；　how　I　pressed　her　now！　　〃So　that　you　could　see　he　knew

what　was　between　the　two　wretches？〃



〃I　don't　knowI　don't　know！〃　the　poor　woman　groaned。



〃You　do　know；　you　dear　thing；〃　I　replied；　〃only　you　haven't

my　dreadful　boldness　of　mind；　and　you　keep　back；　out　of　timidity

and　modesty　and　delicacy；　even　the　impression　that；　in　the　past；

when　you　had；　without　my　aid；　to　flounder　about　in　silence；

most　of　all　made　you　miserable。　　But　I　shall　get　it　out　of　you　yet！

There　was　something　in　the　boy　that　suggested　to