the turn of the screw-第11章
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I could scarce articulate〃Flora SAW!〃
Mrs。 Grose took it as she might have taken a blow in the stomach。
〃She has told you?〃 she panted。
〃Not a wordthat's the horror。 She kept it to herself!
The child of eight; THAT child!〃 Unutterable still;
for me; was the stupefaction of it。
Mrs。 Grose; of course; could only gape the wider。
〃Then how do you know?〃
〃I was thereI saw with my eyes: saw that she was perfectly aware。〃
〃Do you mean aware of HIM?〃
〃Noof HER。〃 I was conscious as I spoke that I looked
prodigious things; for I got the slow reflection of them
in my companion's face。 〃Another personthis time;
but a figure of quite as unmistakable horror and evil:
a woman in black; pale and dreadfulwith such an air also;
and such a face!on the other side of the lake。
I was there with the childquiet for the hour; and in the midst
of it she came。〃
〃Came howfrom where?〃
〃From where they come from! She just appeared and stood there
but not so near。〃
〃And without coming nearer?〃
〃Oh; for the effect and the feeling; she might have been as close as you!〃
My friend; with an odd impulse; fell back a step。
〃Was she someone you've never seen?〃
〃Yes。 But someone the child has。 Someone YOU have。〃
Then; to show how I had thought it all out: 〃My predecessor
the one who died。〃
〃Miss Jessel?〃
〃Miss Jessel。 You don't believe me?〃 I pressed。
She turned right and left in her distress。 〃How can you be sure?〃
This drew from me; in the state of my nerves; a flash of impatience。
〃Then ask FloraSHE'S sure!〃 But I had no sooner spoken
than I caught myself up。 〃No; for God's sake; DON'T!〃
She'll say she isn'tshe'll lie!〃
Mrs。 Grose was not too bewildered instinctively to protest。
〃Ah; how CAN you?〃
〃Because I'm clear。 Flora doesn't want me to know。〃
〃It's only then to spare you。〃
〃No; nothere are depths; depths! The more I go over it;
the more I see in it; and the more I see in it; the more I fear。
I don't know what I DON'T seewhat I DON'T fear!〃
Mrs。 Grose tried to keep up with me。 〃You mean you're afraid
of seeing her again?〃
〃Oh; no; that's nothingnow!〃 Then I explained。
〃It's of NOT seeing her。〃
But my companion only looked wan。 〃I don't understand you。〃
〃Why; it's that the child may keep it upand that the child assuredly
WILLwithout my knowing it。〃
At the image of this possibility Mrs。 Grose for a moment collapsed;
yet presently to pull herself together again; as if from the positive
force of the sense of what; should we yield an inch; there would
really be to give way to。 〃Dear; dearwe must keep our heads!
And after all; if she doesn't mind it!〃 She even tried a grim joke。
〃Perhaps she likes it!〃
〃Likes SUCH thingsa scrap of an infant!〃
〃Isn't it just a proof of her blessed innocence?〃 my friend bravely inquired。
She brought me; for the instant; almost round。
〃Oh; we must clutch at THATwe must cling to it!
If it isn't a proof of what you say; it's a proof ofGod knows what!
For the woman's a horror of horrors。〃
Mrs。 Grose; at this; fixed her eyes a minute on the ground;
then at last raising them; 〃Tell me how you know;〃 she said。
〃Then you admit it's what she was?〃 I cried。
〃Tell me how you know;〃 my friend simply repeated。
〃Know? By seeing her! By the way she looked。〃
〃At you; do you meanso wickedly?〃
〃Dear me; noI could have borne that。 She gave me never a glance。
She only fixed the child。〃
Mrs。 Grose tried to see it。 〃Fixed her?〃
〃Ah; with such awful eyes!〃
She stared at mine as if they might really have resembled them。
〃Do you mean of dislike?〃
〃God help us; no。 Of something much worse。〃
〃Worse than dislike?this left her indeed at a loss。
〃With a determinationindescribable。 With a kind of fury of intention。〃
I made her turn pale。 〃Intention?〃
〃To get hold of her。〃 Mrs。 Groseher eyes just lingering
on minegave a shudder and walked to the window;
and while she stood there looking out I completed my statement。
〃THAT'S what Flora knows。〃
After a little she turned round。 〃The person was in black; you say?〃
〃In mourningrather poor; almost shabby。 Butyeswith
extraordinary beauty。〃 I now recognized to what I had at last;
stroke by stroke; brought the victim of my confidence; for she quite
visibly weighed this。 〃Oh; handsomevery; very;〃 I insisted;
〃wonderfully handsome。 But infamous。〃
She slowly came back to me。 〃Miss JesselWAS infamous。〃
She once more took my hand in both her own; holding it
as tight as if to fortify me against the increase of alarm I
might draw from this disclosure。 〃They were both infamous;〃
she finally said。
So; for a little; we faced it once more together; and I found absolutely
a degree of help in seeing it now so straight。 〃I appreciate;〃
I said; 〃the great decency of your not having hitherto spoken;
but the time has certainly come to give me the whole thing。〃
She appeared to assent to this; but still only in silence;
seeing which I went on: 〃I must have it now。 Of what did she die?
Come; there was something between them。〃
〃There was everything。〃
〃In spite of the difference?〃
〃Oh; of their rank; their condition〃she brought it woefully out。
〃SHE was a lady。〃
I turned it over; I again saw。 〃Yesshe was a lady。〃
〃And he so dreadfully below;〃 said Mrs。 Grose。
I felt that I doubtless needn't press too hard; in such company;
on the place of a servant in the scale; but there was nothing to prevent
an acceptance of my companion's own measure of my predecessor's abasement。
There was a way to deal with that; and I dealt; the more readily
for my full visionon the evidenceof our employer's late clever;
good…looking 〃own〃 man; impudent; assured; spoiled; depraved。
〃The fellow was a hound。〃
Mrs。 Grose considered as if it were perhaps a little a case
for a sense of shades。 〃I've never seen one like him。
He did what he wished。〃
〃With HER?〃
〃With them all。〃
It was as if now in my friend's own eyes Miss Jessel had again appeared。
I seemed at any rate; for an instant; to see their evocation of her as
distinctly as I had seen her by the pond; and I brought out with decision:
〃It must have been also what SHE wished!〃
Mrs。 Grose's face signified that it had been indeed; but she said
at the same time: 〃Poor womanshe paid for it!〃
〃Then you do know what she died of?〃 I asked。
〃NoI know nothing。 I wanted not to know; I was glad enough I didn't;
and I thanked heaven she was well out of this!〃
〃Yet you had; then; your idea〃
〃Of her real reason for leaving? Oh; yesas to that。
She couldn't have stayed。 Fancy it herefor a governess!
And afterward I imaginedand I still imagine。 And what I
imagine is dreadful。〃
〃Not so dreadful as what _I_ do;〃 I replied; on which I must
have shown heras I was indeed but too consciousa front of
miserable defeat。 It brought out again all her compassion for me;
and at the renewed touch of her kindness my power to resist broke down。
I burst; as I had; the other time; made her burst; into tears;
she took me to her motherly breast; and my lamentation overflowed。
〃I don't do it!〃 I sobbed in despair; 〃I don't save or shield them!
It's far worse than I dreamedthey're lost!〃
VIII
What I had said to Mrs。 Grose was true enough: there were in the matter I
had put before her depths and possibilities that I lacked resolution to sound;
so that when we met once more in the wonder of it we were of a common mind
about the duty of resistance to extravagant fancies。 We were to keep our
heads if we should keep nothing elsedifficult indeed as that might be in
the face of what; in our prodigious experience; was least to be questioned。
Late that night; while the house slept; we had another talk in m