creatures that once were men-第47章
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forming sometimes as they touched each other one compact and
dark mass。
〃So you say you don't envy them?〃 repeated Sergei。
〃What is it to me? It's their sin; and they must answer for
it;〃 replied Mitia quietly。
〃Hm!〃 ironically interjected Sergei; while he filled his pipe。
Once more the small red patch of light glowed in the darkness;
and the night grew thicker; and the gray clouds sank lower
toward the swollen river。
〃Where did you get hold of that fine stuff; or does it come to
you naturally? But you don't take after your father; my lad!
Your father's a fine old chap。 Look at him! He's fifty…two
now; and see what a strapping wench he's carrying on with!
She's as fine a woman as ever wore shoe…leather。 And she loves
him; it's no use denying it! She loves him; my lad! One can't
help admiring him; he's such a trump; your fatherhe's the
king of trumps! When he's at work; it's worth while watching
him。 And then; he's rich! And then; look how he's respected!
And his head's screwed on the right way。 Yes。 And you?
You're not a bit like either your father or your mother? What
would your father have done; Mitia; do you think; if old Anfisa
had lived? That would have been a good joke! I should have
liked to have seen how she's have settled him! She was the
right sort of woman; your mother! a real plucky one; she was!
They were well matched!〃
Mitia remained silent; leaning on the pole; and staring at the
water。
238 ON A RAFT
Sergei ceased talking。 Forward on the raft was heard a woman's
shrill laugh; followed by the deeper laugh of a man。 Their
figures; blurred by the mist; were nearly invisible to Sergei;
who; however; watched them curiously。 The man appeared as a
tall figure; standing with legs wide apart; holding a pole; and
half turned toward a shorter woman's figure; leaning on another
pole; and standing a few paces away。 She shook her forefinger
at the man; and giggled provokingly。
Sergei turned away his head with a sigh; and after a few
moment's silence began to speak again。
〃Confound it all; but how jolly they seem together; it's good
to see! Why can't I have something like that? I; a waif and
a stray! I'd never leave such a woman! I'd always have my
arms round her; and there'd be no mistake about my loving the
little devil! I've never had any luck with women! They don't
like ginger hairwomen don't。 No。 She's a woman with fancies;
she is! She's a sly little devil! She wants to see life! Are
you asleep; Mitia?〃
〃No;〃 answered Mitia quietly。
〃Well; how are you going to live? To tell the truth; you're
as solitary as a post! That seems pretty hard! Where can you
go? You can't earn your living among strangers。 You're too
absurd! What's the use of a man who can't stand up for
himself? A man's got to have teeth and claws in this world!
They'll all have a go at you。 Can you stick up for yourself?
How would you set about it? Damn it all; where the devil could
you go?〃
239 ON A RAFT
〃I;〃 said Mitia; suddenly arousing herself; 〃I shall go away。
I shall go in the autumn to the Caucasian Mountains; and that
will be the end of it all。 My God! If only I could get away
from you all! Soulless; godless men! To get away from you;
that's my only hope! What do you live for? Where is your God?
He's nothing but a name! Do you live in Christ? You are
wolves; that's what you are! But over there live other men;
whose souls live in Christ。 Their hearts contain love; and
they are athirst for the salvation of the world。 But youyou
are beasts; spewing out filth。 But other men there are; I have
seen them; they called me; and I must go to them。 They gave me
the book of Holy Writ; and they said: 'Read; man of God; our
beloved brother; read the word of truth!' And I read; and my
soul was renewed by the word of God。 I shall go away。 I shall
leave all you ravening wolves。 You are rending each other's
flesh! Accursed be ye!〃
Mitia spoke in a passionate whisper; as if overpowered by the
intensity of his contemplative rapture; his anger with the
ravening wolves; and his desire to be with those other men;
whose souls aspired toward the salvation of the world。 Sergei
was taken aback。 He remained quiet for some time; open…mouthed;
holding his pipe in his hand。 After a few moments' thought he
glanced round; and said in a deep; rough voice: 〃Damn it all!
Why you're turned a bad 'un all at once! Why did you read that
book? It was very likely an evil one。 Well; be off; be off!
If not; there'll be an end of you! Be off with you before you
become a regular beast yourself! And who are these fellows in
the Caucasus? Monks? Or what?〃
240 ON A RAFT
But the fire of Mitia's spirit died down as quickly as it had
been kindled to a flame; he gasped with the exertion as he
worked the pole; and muttered to himself below his breath。
Sergei waited some time for the answer which did not come。 His
simple; hardy nature was quelled by the grim and death…like
stillness of the night。 He wanted to recall the fullness of
life; to wake the solitude with sound; to disturb and trouble
the hidden meditative silence of the leaden mass of water;
flowing slowly to the sea; and of the dull; threatening clouds
hanging motionless in the air。 At the other end of the raft
there was life; and it called on him to live。
Forward; he could hear every now and then bursts of contented
laughter; exclamations; sounds that seemed to stand out against
the silence of this night; laden with the breath of spring; and
provoking such passionate life desires。
〃Hold hard; Mitia! you'll catch it again from the old man!
Look out there!〃 said Sergei; who could not stand the silence
any longer; and watching Mitia; who aimlessly moved his pole
backward and forward in the water。
Mitia; wiping his moist brow; stood quietly leaning with his
breast against the pole; and panting。
〃There are few steamers to…night;〃 continued Sergei; 〃we've
only passed one these many hours。〃 Seeing that Mitia had no
intention of answering; Sergei replied quietly to himself:
〃It's because its too early in the season。 It's only just
beginning。 We shall soon be at Kazan。 The Volga pulls hard。
She has a mighty strong back; that can carry all。 Why are
you standing still like that? Are you angry? Hi; there;
Mitia!〃
241 ON A RAFT
〃What's the matter?〃 Mitia cried in a vexed tone。
〃Nothing; you strange fellow; but why can't you talk? You
are always thinking。 Leave it alone! Thinking is bad for a
man。 A wise sort of fellow you are! You think and think; and
all the time you can't understand that you're a fool at bottom。
Ha! Ha!〃
And Sergei; very well satisfied with his own superiority;
cleared his throat; remained quiet for a moment; whistled a
note; and then continued to develop his theme。
〃Thinking? Is that an occupation for a working man? Look at
your father; he doesn't think much; he lives。 He loves your
wife; and they laugh at you together; you wise fool! That's
about it! Just listen to them! Blast them! I believe
Marka's already with child。 Never fear; the child won't
feature you。 He'll be a fine; lusty lad; like Silan himself!
But he'll be your child! Ha! Ha! Ha! He'll call you
father! And you won't be his father; but his brother; and his
real father will be his grandfather! That's a nice state of
things! What a filthy family! But they're a strapping pair!
Isn't that true; Mitia?〃
〃Sergei!〃 In a passionate; sobbing whisper。 〃In the name of
Christ I entreat you don't tear my soul to pieces; don't brand
me with fire。 Leave me alone。 Do be quiet! In the name of
God and of Christ; I beg you not to speak to me!