the garden party(园会)-第24章
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beams。。。
Until the barrel…organ stopped playing Constantia stayed before the
Buddha； wondering； but not as usual； not vaguely。 This time her wonder
was like longing。 She remembered the times she had come in here； crept
out of bed in her nightgown when the moon was full； and lain on the floor
with her arms outstretched； as though she was crucified。 Why？ The big；
pale moon had made her do it。 The horrible dancing figures on the
carved screen had leered at her and she hadn't minded。 She remembered
too how； whenever they were at the seaside； she had gone off by herself
and got as close to the sea as she could； and sung something； something
she had made up； while she gazed all over that restless water。 There had
been this other life； running out； bringing things home in bags； getting
things on approval； discussing them with Jug； and taking them back to get
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more things on approval； and arranging father's trays and trying not to
annoy father。 But it all seemed to have happened in a kind of tunnel。 It
wasn't real。 It was only when she came out of the tunnel into the
moonlight or by the sea or into a thunderstorm that she really felt herself。
What did it mean？ What was it she was always wanting？ What did it
all lead to？ Now？ Now？
She turned away from the Buddha with one of her vague gestures。
She went over to where Josephine was standing。 She wanted to say
something to Josephine； something frightfully important； aboutabout the
future and what。。。
〃Don't you think perhaps〃 she began。
But Josephine interrupted her。 〃I was wondering if now〃 she
murmured。 They stopped； they waited for each other。
〃Go on； Con；〃 said Josephine。
〃No； no； Jug； after you；〃 said Constantia。
〃No； say what you were going to say。 You began；〃 said Josephine。
〃I。。。I'd rather hear what you were going to say first；〃 said Constantia。
〃Don't be absurd； Con。〃
〃Really； Jug。〃
〃Connie！〃
〃Oh； Jug！〃
A pause。 Then Constantia said faintly； 〃I can't say what I was going
to say； Jug； because I've forgotten what it was。。。that I was going to say。〃
Josephine was silent for a moment。 She stared at a big cloud where
the sun had been。 Then she replied shortly； 〃I've forgotten too。〃
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4。 MR。 AND MRS。 DOVE。
Of course he knewno man betterthat he hadn't a ghost of a chance；
he hadn't an earthly。 The very idea of such a thing was preposterous。
So preposterous that he'd perfectly understand it if her fatherwell；
whatever her father chose to do he'd perfectly understand。 In fact；
nothing short of desperation； nothing short of the fact that this was
positively his last day in England for God knows how long； would have
screwed him up to it。 And even now。。。He chose a tie out of the chest of
drawers； a blue and cream check tie； and sat on the side of his bed。
Supposing she replied； 〃What impertinence！〃 would he be surprised？
Not in the least； he decided； turning up his soft collar and turning it down
over the tie。 He expected her to say something like that。 He didn't see；
if he looked at the affair dead soberly； what else she could say。
Here he was！ And nervously he tied a bow in front of the mirror；
jammed his hair down with both hands； pulled out the flaps of his jacket
pockets。 Making between 500 and 600 pounds a year on a fruit farm in
of all places… …Rhodesia。 No capital。 Not a penny coming to him。 No
chance of his income increasing for at least four years。 As for looks and
all that sort of thing； he was completely out of the running。 He couldn't
even boast of top…hole health； for the East Africa business had knocked
him out so thoroughly that he'd had to take six months' leave。 He was
still fearfully paleworse even than usual this afternoon； he thought；
bending forward and peering into the mirror。 Good heavens！ What had
happened？ His hair looked almost bright green。 Dash it all； he hadn't
green hair at all events。 That was a bit too steep。 And then the green
light trembled in the glass； it was the shadow from the tree outside。
Reggie turned away； took out his cigarette case； but remembering how the
mater hated him to smoke in his bedroom； put it back again and drifted
over to the chest of drawers。 No； he was dashed if he could think of one
blessed thing in his favour； while she。。。Ah！。。。He stopped dead； folded his
arms； and leaned hard against the chest of drawers。
And in spite of her position； her father's wealth； the fact that she was
an only child and far and away the most popular girl in the neighbourhood；
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in spite of her beauty and her clevernesscleverness！it was a great deal
more than that； there was really nothing she couldn't do； he fully believed；
had it been necessary； she would have been a genius at anything in spite
of the fact that her parents adored her； and she them； and they'd as soon let
her go all that way as。。。In spite of every single thing you could think of； so
terrific was his love that he couldn't help hoping。 Well； was it hope？ Or
was this queer； timid longing to have the chance of looking after her； of
making it his job to see that she had everything she wanted； and that
nothing came near her that wasn't perfectjust love？ How he loved her！
He squeezed hard against the chest of drawers and murmured to it； 〃I love
her； I love her！〃 And just for the moment he was with her on the way to
Umtali。 It was night。 She sat in a corner asleep。 Her soft chin was
tucked into her soft collar； her gold…brown lashes lay on her cheeks。 He
doted on her delicate little nose； her perfect lips； her ear like a baby's； and
the gold…brown curl that half covered it。 They were passing through the
jungle。 It was warm and dark and far away。 Then she woke up and said；
〃Have I been asleep？〃 and he answered； 〃Yes。 Are you all right？ Here；
let me〃 And he leaned forward to。。。He bent over her。 This was such
bliss that he could dream no further。 But it gave him the courage to
bound downstairs； to snatch his straw hat from the hall； and to say as he
closed the front door； 〃Well； I can only try my luck； that's all。〃
But his luck gave him a nasty jar； to say the least； almost immediately。
Promenading up and down the garden path with Chinny and Biddy； the
ancient Pekes； was the mater。 Of course Reginald was fond of the mater
and all that。 Sheshe meant well； she had no end of grit； and so on。
But there was no denying it； she was rather a grim parent。 And there had
been moments； many of them；
