men, women and ghosts(男人、女人和鬼魂)-第12章
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inadvertence？ I was made of wood。〃
She told him； and no doubt she meant it truly； That he was sun； and
grass； and wind； and sky To her。 And even if conscience were unruly She
salved it by neat sophistries； but why Suppose her insincere； it was no lie
She said； for Heinrich was as much forgot As though he'd never been
within earshot。
But Theodore's hands in straying and caressing Fumbled against the
locket where it lay Upon her neck。 〃What is this thing I'm pressing？〃 He
asked。 〃Let's bring it to the light of day。〃 He lifted up the locket。 〃It
should stay Outside； my Dear。 Your mother has good taste。 To keep it
hidden surely is a waste。〃
Pity again Charlotta； straight aroused Out of her happiness。 The
locket brought A chilly jet of truth upon her； soused Under its icy spurting
she was caught； And choked； and frozen。 Suddenly she sought The clasp；
but with such art was this contrived Her fumbling fingers never once
arrived
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Upon it。 Feeling； twisting； round and round； She pulled the chain
quite through the locket's ring And still it held。 Her neck； encompassed；
bound； Chafed at the sliding meshes。 Such a thing To hurl her out of joy！
A gilded string Binding her folly to her； and those curls Which lay
entwined beneath the clustered pearls！
Again she tried to break the cord。 It stood。 〃Unclasp it； Theodore；〃
she begged。 But he Refused； and being in a happy mood； Twitted her
with her inefficiency； Then looking at her very seriously： 〃I think；
Charlotta； it is well to have Always about one what a mother gave。
As she has taken the great pains to send This jewel to you from
Dresden； it will be Ingratitude if you do not intend To carry it about you
constantly。 With her fine taste you cannot disagree； The locket is most
beautifully designed。〃 He opened it and there the curls were； twined。
Charlotta's heart dropped beats like knitting…stitches。 She burned a
moment； flaming； then she froze。 Her face was jerked by little； nervous
twitches； She heard her husband asking： 〃What are those？〃 Put out her
hand quickly to interpose； But stopped； the gesture half…complete；
astounded At the calm way the question was propounded。
〃A pretty fancy； Dear； I do declare。 Indeed I will not let you put it off。
A lovely thought： yours and your mother's hair！〃 Charlotta hid a gasp
under a cough。 〃Never with my connivance shall you doff This charming
gift。〃 He kissed her on the cheek； And Lotta suffered him； quite crushed
and meek。
When later in their room she lay awake； Watching the moonlight slip
along the floor； She felt the chain and wept for Theodore's sake。 She had
loved Heinrich also； and the core Of truth； unlovely； startled her。
Wherefore She vowed from now to break this double life And see herself
only as Theodore's wife。
Part Fifth
It was no easy matter to convince Heinrich that it was finished。 Hard
to say That though they could not meet （he saw her wince） She still must
keep the locket to allay Suspicion in her husband。 She would pay Him
from her savings bit by bit the oath He swore at that was startling to
them both。
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Her resolution taken； Frau Altgelt Adhered to it； and suffered no regret。
She found her husband all that she had felt His music to contain。 Her
days were set In his as though she were an amulet Cased in bright gold。
She joyed in her confining； Her eyes put out her looking…glass with
shining。
Charlotta was so gay that old； dull tasks Were furbished up to seem
like rituals。 She baked and brewed as one who only asks The right to serve。
Her daily manuals Of prayer were duties； and her festivals When
Theodore praised some dish； or frankly said She had a knack in making up
a bed。
So Autumn went； and all the mountains round The city glittered white
with fallen snow； For it was Winter。 Over the hard ground Herr Altgelt's
footsteps came； each one a blow。 On the swept flags behind the currant
row Charlotta stood to greet him。 But his lip Only flicked hers。 His
Concert…Meistership
Was first again。 This evening he had got Important news。 The
opera ordered from Young Mozart was arrived。 That old despot； The
Bishop of Salzburg； had let him come Himself to lead it； and the parts； still
hot From copying； had been tried over。 Never Had any music started
such a fever。
The orchestra had cheered till they were hoarse； The singers clapped
and clapped。 The town was made； With such a great attraction through
the course Of Carnival time。 In what utter shade All other cities would
be left！ The trade In music would all drift here naturally。 In his
excitement he forgot his tea。
Lotta was forced to take his cup and put It in his hand。 But still he
rattled on； Sipping at intervals。 The new catgut Strings he was using
gave out such a tone The 〃Maestro〃 had remarked it； and had gone Out of
his way to praise him。 Lotta smiled； He was as happy as a little child。
From that day on； Herr Altgelt； more and more； Absorbed himself in
work。 Lotta at first Was patient and well…wishing。 But it wore Upon
her when two weeks had brought no burst Of loving from him。 Then she
feared the worst； That his short interest in her was a light Flared up an
instant only in the night。
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‘Idomeneo' was the opera's name； A name that poor Charlotta learnt to
hate。 Herr Altgelt worked so hard he seldom came Home for his tea； and it
was very late； Past midnight sometimes； when he knocked。 His state Was
like a flabby orange whose crushed skin Is thin with pulling； and all
dented in。
He practised every morning and her heart Followed his bow。 But
often she would sit； While he was playing； quite withdrawn apart；
Absently fingering and touching it； The locket； which now seemed to her a
bit Of some gone youth。 His music drew her tears； And through the notes
he played； her dreading ears
Heard Heinrich's voice； saying he had not changed； Beer merchants
had no ecstasies to take Their minds off love。 So far her thoughts had
ranged Away from her stern vow； she chanced to take Her way； one
morning； quite by a mistake； Along the street where Heinrich had his shop。
What harm to pass it since she should not stop！
It matters nothing how one day she met Him on a bridge； and blushed；
and hurried by。 Nor how the following week he stood to let Her pass； the
pavement narrowing suddenly。 How o
