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thrown in as part of the bargain。

The days passedand good Papa still vacillated between better and worse。

My sisters broke down; poor souls; under their anxieties。 It all fell as
usual on my shoulders。 Day by day; my prospect of returning to England
seemed to grow more and more remote。 Not a line of reply reached me from
Mrs。 Finch。 This in itself fidgeted and disturbed me。 Lucilla was now
hardly ever out of my thoughts。 Over and over again; my anxiety urged me
to run the risk; and write to her。 But the same obstacle always raised
itself in my way。 After what had happened between us; it was impossible
for me to write to her directly; without first restoring myself to my
former place in her estimation。 And I could only do this; by entering
into particulars which; for all I knew to the contrary; it might still be
cruel and dangerous to reveal。

As for writing to Miss Batchford; I had already tried the old lady's
patience in that way; before leaving England。 If I tried it again; with
no better excuse for a second intrusion than my own anxieties might
suggest; the chances were that this uncompromising royalist would throw
my letter in the fire; and treat her republican correspondent with
contemptuous silence。 Grosse was the third; and last; person from whom I
might hope to obtain information。 Butshall I confess it?I did not
know what Lucilla might have told him of the estrangement between us; and
my pride (remember; if you please; that I am a poverty…stricken
foreigner) revolted at the idea of exposing myself to a possible repulse。

However; by the eleventh of the month; I began to feel my suspense so
keenly; and to suffer under such painful doubts of what Nugent might be
doing in my absence; that I resolved at all hazards on writing to Grosse。
It was at least possible; as I calculatedand the Journal will show you
I calculated rightthat Lucilla had only told him of my melancholy
errand at Marseilles; and had mentioned nothing more。 I had just opened
my deskwhen our doctor in attendance entered the room; and announced
the joyful intelligence that he could answer at last for the recovery of
good Papa。

〃Can I go back to England?〃 I asked eagerly。

〃Not immediately。 You are his favorite nurseyou must gradually accustom
him to the idea of your going away。 If you do anything sudden you may
cause a relapse。〃

〃I will do nothing sudden。 Only tell me; when it will be safeabsolutely
safefor me to go?〃

〃Say; in a week。〃

〃On the eighteenth?〃

〃On the eighteenth。〃

I shut up my writing…desk。 Within a few days; I might now hope to be in
England as soon as I could receive Grosse's answer at Marseilles。 Under
these circumstances; it would be better to wait until I could make my
inquiries; safely and independently; in my own proper person。 Comparison
of dates will show that if I _had_ written to the German oculist; it
would have been too late。 It was now the eleventh; and Lucilla had left
Ramsgate with Nugent on the fifth。

All this time but one small morsel of news rewarded our inquiries after
Oscarand even that small morsel seemed to me to be unworthy of belief。

It was said that he had been seen at a military hospitalthe hospital of
Alessandria; in Piedmont; I thinkacting; under the surgeons; as
attendant on the badly…wounded men who had survived the famous campaign
of France and Italy against Austria。 (Bear in mind; if you please; that I
am writing of the year eighteen hundred and fifty…nine; and that the
peace of Villafranca was only signed in the July of that year。)
Occupation as hospital…man…nurse was; to my mind; occupation so utterly
at variance with Oscar's temperament and character; that I persisted in
considering the intelligence thus received of him to be on the face of it
false。

On the seventeenth of the month; I had got my passport regulated; and had
packed up the greater part of my baggage in anticipation of my journey
back to England on the next day。

Carefully as I had tried to accustom his mind to the idea; my poor father
remained so immovably reluctant to let me leave him; that I was obliged
to consent to a sort of compromise。 I promised; when the business which
took me to England was settled; to return again to Marseilles; and to
travel back with him to his home in Paris; as soon as he was fit to be
moved。 On this condition; I gained permission to go。 Poor as I was; I
infinitely preferred charging my slender purse with the expense of the
double journey; to remaining any longer in ignorance of what was going on
at Ramsgateor at Dimchurch; as the case might be。 Now that my mind was
free from anxiety about my father; I don't know which tormented me
mostmy eagerness to set myself right with my sister…friend; or my vague
dread of the mischief which Nugent might have done while my back was
turned。 Over; and over again I asked myself; whether Miss Batchford had;
or had not; shown my letter to Lucilla。 Over and over again; I wondered
whether it had been my happy privilege to reveal Nugent under his true
aspect; and to preserve Lucilla for Oscar after all。

Towards the afternoon; on the seventeenth; I went out alone to get a
breath of fresh air; and a look at the shop…windows。 I don't care who or
what she may behigh or low; handsome or ugly; young or oldit always
relieves a woman's mind to look at the shop…windows。

I had not been five minutes out; before I met my princely superintendent。

〃Any news for me to…day?〃 I asked。

〃Not yet。〃

〃Not yet?〃 I repeated。 〃You expect news then?〃

〃We expect an Italian steam…ship to arrive in port before the evening;〃
said the superintendent。 〃Who knows what may happen?〃

He bowed and left me。 I felt no great elation on contemplating the barren
prospect which his last words had placed before me。 So many steamers had
arrived at Marseilles; without bringing any news of the missing man; that
I attached very little importance to the arrival of the Italian ship。
However; I had nothing to doI wanted a walkand I thought I might as
well stroll down to the port; and see the vessel come in。

The vessel was just entering the harbor by the time I got to the
landing…stage。

I found our man employed to investigate travelers arriving by sea;
punctually at his post。 His influence broke through the vexatious French
rules and regulations which forbid all freedom of public movement within
official limits; and procured me a place in the room at the custom…house
through which the passengers by the steamer would be obliged to pass。 I
accepted his polite attention; simply because I was glad to sit down and
rest in a quiet place after my walknot even the shadow of an idea that
anything would come of my visit to the harbor being in my mind at the
time。

After a long interval the passengers began to stream into the room。
Looking languidly enough at the first half…dozen strangers who came in; I
felt myself touched on the shoulder from behind。 There was our man; in a
state of indescribable excitement; entreating me to compose myself!

Being perfectly composed already; I stared at him; and asked; 〃Why?〃

〃He is here!〃 cried the man。 〃Look!〃

He pointed to the passengers still crowding into the room。 I looked; and;
instantly losing my head; started up with a cry that turned everybody's
eyes on me。 Yes! there was the poor dear discolored facethere was Oscar
himself; thunderstruck on his side at the sight of Me!

I snatched the key of his portmanteau out of his hand; and gave it to our
manwho undertook to submit it to the customhouse examination; and to
bring it to my lodging afterwards。 Holding Oscar fast by the arm; I
pushed my way through the crowd in the room; got outside; and hailed a
cab at the dock gates。 The people about; noticing my agitation; said to
each other compassionately; 〃It's the blue man's mother!〃 Idiots! They
might have seen; I think; that I was only old enough to be his elder
sister。

Once sheltered in the vehicle; I could draw my breath again; and reward
him for all the anxiety he had caused me by giving him a kiss。 I might
have given him a thousand kisses。 Amazement made him a perfectly passive
creature in my hands。 He only repeated faintly; over and over

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