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第82章

poor miss finch-第82章

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perhaps; there was some enervating influence in my affliction; which made
me feel more sensitively than ever the change in the relations between
Lucilla and myself。 Having; by this time; resolved to come to a plain
explanation; before I left her unprotected at the rectory; I shrank; even
yet; from confronting a possible repulse; by speaking to her personally。
Taking a leaf out of poor Oscar's book; I wrote what I wanted to say to
her in a note。

I rang the bellonce; twice。 Nobody answered it。

I went to the kitchen。 Zillah was not there。 I knocked at the door of her
bed…room。 There was no answer: the bed…room was empty when I looked in。
Awkward as it would be; I found myself obliged; either to give my note to
Lucilla with my own hand; or to decide on speaking to her; after all。

I could not prevail on myself to speak to her。 So I went to her room with
my note; and knocked at the door。

Here again there was no reply。 I knocked once morewith the same result。
I looked in。 There was no one in the room。 On the little table at the
foot of the bed; there lay a letter addressed to me。 The writing was in
Zillah's hand。 But Lucilla had written her name in the corner in the
usual way; to show that she had dictated the letter to her nurse。 A load
was lifted off my heart as I took it up。 The same idea (I concluded) had
occurred to her which had occurred to me。 She too had shrunk from the
embarrassment of a personal explanation。 She too had writtenand was
keeping out of the way until her letter had spoken for her; and had
united us again as friends before I left the house。

With these pleasant anticipations; I opened the letter。 Judge what I felt
when I found what it really contained。



〃DEAR MADAME PRATOLUNGO;You will agree with me; that it is very
important; after what Herr Grosse has said about the recovery of my
sight; that my visit to Ramsgate should not be delayed。 As you are
unable; through circumstances which I sincerely regret; to accompany me
to the sea…side; I have determined to go to London to my aunt; Miss
Batchford; and to ask her to be my companion instead of you。 I have had
experience enough of her sincere affection for me to be quite sure that
she will gladly take the charge of me off your hands。 As no time is to be
lost; I start for London without waiting for your return from your walk
to wish you good…bye。 You so thoroughly understand the necessity of
dispensing with formal farewells; in cases of emergency; that I am sure
you will not feel offended at my taking leave of you in this way。 With
best wishes for your father's recovery; believe me;

〃Yours very truly;

〃LUCILLA。

〃P。 S。You need be under no apprehension about me。 Zillah goes with me
as far as London; and I shall communicate with Herr Grosse when I arrive
at my aunt's house。〃



But for one sentence in it; I should most assuredly have answered this
cruel letter by instantly resigning my situation as Lucilla's companion。

The sentence to which I refer; contained the words which cast in my teeth
the excuses that I had made for Oscar's absence。 The sarcastic reference
to my recent connection with a case of emergency; and to my experience of
the necessity of dispensing with formal farewells; removed my last
lingering doubts of Nugent's treachery。 I now felt; not suspicion only;
but positive conviction that he had communicated with her in his
brother's name; and that he had contrived (by some means at which it was
impossible for me to guess) so to work on Lucilla's mindso to excite
that indwelling distrust which her blindness had rooted in her
characteras to destroy her confidence in me for the time being。

Arriving at this conclusion; I could still feel compassionately and
generously towards Lucilla。 Far from blaming my poor deluded
sister…friend for her cruel departure and her yet crueler letter; I laid
the whole fault on the shoulders of Nugent。 Full as my mind was of my own
troubles; I could still think of the danger that threatened Lucilla; and
of the wrong that Oscar had suffered。 I could still feel the old glow of
my resolution to bring them together again; and still remember (and
determine to pay) the debt I owed to Nugent Dubourg。

In the turn things had taken; and with the short time still at my
disposal; what was I to do next? Assuming that Miss Batchford would
accompany her niece to Ramsgate; how could I put the necessary obstacle
in Nugent's way; if he attempted to communicate with Lucilla at the
sea…side; in my absence?

It was impossible for me to decide this; unless I first knew whether Miss
Batchford; as a member of the family; was to be confidentially informed
of the sad position in which Oscar and Lucilla now stood towards each
other。

The person to consult in this difficulty was the rector。 As head of the
household; and in my absence; the responsibility evidently rested with
Reverend Finch。

I went round at once to the other side of the house。 If Mr。 Finch had
returned to the rectory; after the catechizing was over; well and good。
If not; I should be obliged to inquire in the village and seek him at the
cottages of his parishioners。 His magnificent voice relieved me from all
anxiety on this head。 The _boom…boom_ which I had last heard in the
church; I now heard again in the study。

When I entered the room; Mr。 Finch was on his legs; highly excited;
haranguing Mrs。 Finch and the baby; ensconced as usual in a corner。 My
appearance on the scene diverted his flow of language; for the moment; so
that it all poured itself out on my unlucky self。 (If you recollect that
the rector and Lucilla's aunt had been; from time immemorial; on the
worst of termsyou will be prepared for what is coming。 If you have
forgotten this; look back at my sixth chapter and refresh your memory。)

〃The very person I was going to send for!〃 said the Pope of Dimchurch。
〃Don't excite Mrs。 Finch! Don't speak to Mrs。 Finch! You shall hear why
directly。 Address yourself exclusively to Me。 Be calm; Madame Pratolungo!
you don't know what has happened。 I am here to tell you。〃

I ventured to stop him: mentioning that Lucilla's letter had informed me
of his daughter's sudden departure for her aunt's house。 Mr。 Finch waved
away my answer with his hand; as something too infinitely unimportant to
be worthy of a moment's notice。

〃Yes! yes! yes!〃 he said。 〃You have a superficial acquaintance with the
facts。 But you are far from being aware of what my daughter's sudden
removal of herself from my roof really means。 Now don't be frightened;
Madame Pratolungo! and don't excite Mrs。 Finch! (How are you; my dear?
how is the child? Both well? Thanks to an overruling Providence; both
well。) Now; Madame Pratolungo; attend to this。 My daughter's flightI
say flight advisedly: it is nothing lessmy daughter's flight from my
house means (I entreat you to be calm!)means ANOTHER BLOW dealt at me
by the family of my first wife。 Dealt at me;〃 repeated Mr。 Finch; heating
himself with the recollection of his old feud with the Batchfords〃Dealt
at me by Miss Batchford (by Lucilla's aunt; Madame Pratolungo) through my
unoffending second wife; and my innocent child。Are you sure you are
well; my dear? are you sure the infant is well? Thank
Providence!Concentrate your attention; Madame Pratolungo! Your
attention is wandering。 Prompted by Miss Batchford; my daughter has left
my roof。 Ramsgate is a mere excuse。 And how has she left it? Not only
without first seeing MeI am Nobody! but without showing the slightest
sympathy for Mrs。 Finch's maternal situation。 Attired in her traveling
costume; my daughter precipitately entered (or to use my wife's graphic
expression 'bounced into') the nursery; while Mrs。 Finch was
administering maternal sustenance to the infant。 Under circumstances
which might have touched the heart of a bandit or a savage; my unnatural
daughter (remind me; Mrs。 Finch; we will have a little Shakespeare
to…night; I will read _King Lear_); my unnatural daughter announced
without one word of preparation that a domestic affliction would prevent
you from accompanying her to Ramsgate。Grieved; dear Madame Pratolungo;
to hear of it。 Cast your burden on Providence。 Bear up; Mr

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