poor miss finch-第68章

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me　to　my　senses。　I　saw　her　as　in　a　dream；　drying　her　tears；　and　looking
at　me　in　alarm。　The　rector　approached；　with　profuse　expressions　of
sympathy　and　offers　of　assistance。　I　wanted　no　comforting。　I　had　served　a
hard　apprenticeship　to　life；　I　had　been　well　seasoned　to　trouble。　〃Thank
you；　sir；〃　I　said。　〃Look　to　Mrs。　Finch。〃　There　was　more　air　in　the
corridor。　I　went　out　again；　to　walk　about；　and　get　the　better　of　it
there。

A　small　object　attracted　my　attention；　crouched　up　on　one　of　the　window
seats。　The　small　object　wasJicks。

I　suppose　the　child's　instinct　must　have　told　her　that　something　had　gone
wrong。　She　looked　furtively　sideways　at　me；　round　her　doll：　she　had　grave
doubts　of　my　intentions　towards　her。　〃Are　you　going　to　whack　Jicks？〃
asked　the　curious　little　creature；　shrinking　into　her　corner。　I　sat　down
by　her；　and　soon　recovered　my　place　in　her　confidence。　She　began　to
chatter　again　as　fast　as　usual。　I　listened　to　her　as　I　could　have
listened　to　no　grown…up　person　at　that　moment。　In　some　mysterious　way
that　I　cannot　explain；　the　child　comforted　me。　Little　by　little；　I　learnt
what　she　had　wanted　with　me；　when　she　had　attempted　to　drag　me　out　of　the
room。　She　had　seen　all　that　had　passed　in　the　bed…chamber；　and　she　had
run　out　to　take　me　back　with　her；　and　show　me　the　wonderful　sight　of
Lucilla　with　the　bandage　off　her　eyes。　If　I　had　been　wise　enough　to
listen　to　Jicks；　I　might　have　prevented　the　catastrophe　that　had
happened。　I　might　have　met　Lucilla　in　the　corridor；　and　have　forced　her
back　into　her　own　room　and　turned　the　key　on　her。

It　was　too　late　now　to　regret　what　had　happened。　〃Jicks　has　been　good；〃　I
said；　patting　my　little　friend　on　the　head　with　a　heavy　heart。　The　child
listenedconsidered　with　herself　gravelygot　off　the　window…seatand
claimed　her　reward　for　being　good；　with　that　excellent　brevity　of　speech
which　so　eminently　distinguished　her：

〃Jicks　will　go　out。〃

With　those　words；　she　shouldered　her　doll；　and　walked　off。　The　last　I　saw
of　her；　she　was　descending　the　stairs　as　a　workman　descends　a　ladder；　on
her　way　to　the　gardenand　from　the　garden　（the　first　time　the　gate　was
opened）　to　the　hills。　If　I　could　have　gone　out　with　her　light　heart；　I
would　have　joined　Jicks。

I　had　hardly　lost　sight　of　the　child；　before　the　door　of　Lucilla's　room
opened；　and　Herr　Grosse　appeared　in　the　corridor。

〃Soh！〃　he　muttered　with　a　gesture　of　relief；　〃the　very　womans　I　was
looking　for。　A　nice　mess…fix　we　are　in　now！　I　must　stop　with　Feench。　（I
shall　end　in　hating　Feench！）　Can　you　put　me　into　a　beds　for　the　night？〃

I　assured　him　that　he　could　easily　sleep　at　the　rectory。　In　answer　to　my
inquiries　after　his　patient；　he　gravely　acknowledged　that　he　was　anxious
about　Lucilla。　The　varying　and　violent　emotions　which　had　shaken　her
（acting　through　her　nervous　system）　might　produce　results　which　would
imperil　the　recovery　of　her　sight。　Absolute　repose　was　not　simply
necessaryit　was　now　the　only　chance　for　her。　For　the　next
four…and…twenty　hours；　he　must　keep　watch　over　her　eyes。　At　the　end　of
that　timeno　earlierhe　might　be　able　to　say　whether　the　mischief　done
would　be　fatal　to　her　sight　or　not。　I　asked　how　she　had　contrived　to　get
her　bandage　off；　and　to　make　her　fatal　entrance　into　the　sitting…room。

He　shrugged　his　shoulders。　〃There　are　times；〃　he　said　cynically；　〃when
every　womans　is　a　hussy；　and　every　mans　is　a　fool。　This　was　one　of　the
times。〃

It　appeared；　on　further　explanation；　that　my　poor　Lucilla　had　pleaded　so
earnestly　（after　the　nurse　had　left　the　room）　to　be　allowed　to　try　her
eyes；　and　had　shown　such　ungovernable　disappointment　when　he　persisted　in
saying　No；　that　he　had　yieldednot　so　much　to　her　entreaties；　as　to　his
own　conviction　that　it　would　be　less　dangerous　to　humour　her　than　to
thwart　her；　with　such　a　sensitive　and　irritable　temperament　as　hers。　He
had　first　bargained　however；　on　his　side；　that　she　should　remain　in　the
bed…chamber；　and　be　content；　for　that　time；　with　using　her　sight　on　the
objects　round　her　in　the　room。　She　had　promised　all　that　he　askedand　he
had　been　foolish　enough　to　trust　to　her　promise。　The　bandage　once　off；
she　had　instantly　set　every　consideration　at　defiancehad　torn　herself
out　of　his　hands　like　a　mad　creatureand　had　rushed　into　the
sitting…room　before　he　could　stop　her。　The　rest　had　followed　as　a　matter
of　course。　Feeble　as　it　was　at　the　first　trial　of　it；　her　sense　of　sight
was　sufficiently　restored　to　enable　her　to　distinguish　objects　dimly。　Of
the　three　persons　who　had　offered　themselves　to　view　on　the　right…hand
side　of　the　door；　one　（Mrs。　Finch）　was　a　woman；　another　（Mr。　Finch）　was　a
short；　grey…headed；　elderly　man；　the　third　（Nugent）；　in　his　heightwhich
she　could　seeand　in　the　color　of　his　hairwhich　she　could　see…was　the
only　one　of　the　three　who　could　possibly　represent　Oscar。　The　catastrophe
that　followed　was　（as　things　were）　inevitable。　Now　that　the　harm　was
done；　the　one　alternative　left　was　to　check　the　mischief　at　the　point
which　it　had　already　reached。　Not　the　slightest　hint　at　the　terrible
mistake　that　she　had　made　must　be　suffered　to　reach　her　ears。　If　we　any
of　us　said　one　word　about　it　before　he　authorized　us　to　do　so；　he　would
refuse　to　answer　for　the　consequences；　and　would　then　and　there　throw　up
the　case。

So；　in　his　broken　English；　Herr　Grosse　explained　what　had　happened；　and
issued　his　directions　for　our　future　conduct。

〃No　person　is　to　go　into　her；〃　he　said；　in　conclusion；　〃but　you　and　goot
Mrs。　Zillahs。　You　two　watch　her；　turn…about…turn…about。　In　a　whiles；　she
will　sleep。　For　me；　I　go　to　smoke　my　tobaccos　in　the　garden。　Hear　this；
Madame　Pratolungo。　When　Gott　made　the　womens；　he　was　sorry　afterwards　for
the　poor　mensand　he　made　tobaccos　to　comfort　them。〃

Favoring　me　with　this　peculiar　view　of　the　scheme　of　creation；　Herr
Grosse　shook　his　shock　head；　and　waddled　away　to　the　garden。

I　softly　opened　the　bed…room　door；　and　looked　indisappearing　just　in
time　to　escape　the　rector　and　Mrs。　Finch　returning　to　their　own　side　of
the　house。

Lucilla　was　lying　on　the　sofa。　She　asked　who　it　was　in　a　drowsy
voiceshe　was　happily　just　sinking　into　slumber。　Zillah　occupied　a　chair
near　her。　I　was　not　wanted　for　the　momentand　I　was　glad；　for　the　first
time　in　my　experience　at　Dimchurch；　to　get　out　of　the　room　again。　By　some
contradiction　in　my　character　which　I　am　not　able　to　explain；　there　was　a
certain　hostile　influence　in　the　sympathy　that　I　felt　for　Oscar；　which
estranged　me；　for　the　moment；　from　Lucilla。　It　was　not　her　faultand　yet
（I　am　ashamed　to　own　it）　I　almost　felt　angry　with　her　for　reposing　so
comfortably；　when　I　thought　of　the　poor　fellow；　without　a　creature　to　say
a　kind　word　to　him；　alone　at　Browndown。

Out　again　in　the　corridor；　the　question　faced　me：What　was　I　to　do　next？

The　loneliness　of　the　house　was　insupportable；　my　anxiety　about　Oscar
grew　more　than　I　could　endure。　I　put　on　my　hat；　and　went　out。

Having　no　desire　to　interfere　with　Herr　Grosse's　enjoyment　of　his　pipe；　I
made　my　way　through　the　garden　as　quickly　as　possible；　and　found　myself
in　the　village　again。　My　uneasiness　on　the　subject　of　Oscar；　was　matched
by　my　angry　desire　to　know　what　Nugent　would　do。　Now　that　he　had　worked
the　very　mischief　which　his　brother　had　foreseen　to　be　possiblethe　very
mischief　which　it　had　been　Oscar's　one　object　to　prevent　in　asking　him　to
leave　Dimchurchwould　he　take　his　departure？　would　he　rid　us；　at　once
and　for　ever；　of　the　sight　of　him？　The　bare　idea　of　the　other
alternativeI　mean；　of　his　remaining　in　the　placeshook　me　with　such　an
unutterable　dread　of　what　might　happen　next；　that　my　feet　refused　to
support　me。　I　was　obliged；　just　beyond　the　village；　to　sit　down　by　the
road…side；　and　wait　till　my　giddy　head　steadied　itself　before　I　attempted
to　move　again。

After　a　minute　or　two；　I　heard　footsteps　coming　along　the　road。　My　heart
gave　one　great　leap　in　me。　I　thought　it　was　Nugent。

A　moment　more　brought　the　person　in　view。　It　was　only　Mr。　Gootheridge　of
the　village　inn；　on　his　way　home。　He　stopped；　and　took　off　his　hat。

〃Tired；　ma'am？〃　he　said。

The　uppermost　idea　in　my　mind　found　its　way　somehow；　ill　as　I　was；　to