poor miss finch-第62章

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places。　It　was　Nugent　now　who　appeared　to　disadvantage　by　comparison　with
Oscar。　He　surprised　and　grieved　his　brother　by　leaving　Browndown。　〃All　I
can　do　for　you；　I　have　done；〃　he　said。　〃I　can　be　of　no　further　use　for
the　present　to　anybody。　Let　me　go。　I　am　stagnating　in　this　miserable
placeI　must；　and　will；　have　change。〃　Oscar's　entreaties；　in　Nugent's
present　frame　of　mind；　failed　to　move　him。　Away　he　went　one　morning；
without　bidding　anybody　goodbye。　He　had　talked　of　being　absent　for　a
weekhe　remained　away　for　a　month。　We　heard　of　him；　leading　a　wild　life；
among　a　vicious　set　of　men。　It　was　reported　that　a　frantic　restlessness
possessed　him　which　nobody　could　understand。　He　came　back　as　suddenly　as
he　had　left　us。　His　variable　nature　had　swung　round；　in　the　interval；　to
the　opposite　extreme。　He　was　full　of　repentance　for　his　reckless　conduct；
he　was　in　a　state　of　depression　which　defied　rousing；　he　despaired　of
himself　and　his　future。　Sometimes　he　talked　of　going　back　to　America；　and
sometimes　he　threatened　to　close　his　career　by　enlisting　as　a　private
soldier。　Would　any　other　person；　in　my　place；　have　seen　which　way　these
signs　pointed？　I　doubt　it；　if　that　person's　mind　had　been　absorbed；　as
mine　was；　in　watching　Lucilla　day　by　day。　Even　if　I　had　been　a　suspicious
woman　by　naturewhich；　thank　God；　I　am　notmy　distrust　must　have　lain
dormant；　in　the　all…subduing　atmosphere　of　suspense　hanging　heavily　on　me
morning；　noon；　and　night　in　the　darkened　room。

So　much；　briefly；　for　the　sayings　and　doings　of　the　persons　principally
concerned　in　this　narrative；　during　the　six　weeks　which　separate　Part　the
First　from　Part　the　Second。

I　begin　again　on　the　ninth　of　August。

This　was　the　memorable　day　chosen　by　Herr　Grosse　for　risking　the
experiment　of　removing　the　bandage；　and　permitting　Lucilla　to　try　her
sight　for　the　first　time。　Conceive　for　yourselves　（don't　ask　me　to
describe）　the　excitement　that　raged　in　our　obscure　little　circle；　now
that　we　were　standing　face　to　face　with　that　grand　Event　in　our　lives
which　I　promised　to　relate　in　the　opening　sentence　of　these　pages。

I　was　the　earliest　riser　at　the　rectory　that　morning。　My　excitable　French
blood　was　in　a　fever。　I　was　irresistibly　reminded　of　myself；　at　a　time
long　pastthe　time　when　my　glorious　Pratolungo　and　I；　succumbing　to　Fate
and　tyrants；　fled　to　England　for　safety；　martyrs　to　that　ungrateful
Republic　（long　live　the　Republic！）　for　which　I　laid　down　my　money　and　my
husband　his　life。

I　opened　my　window；　and　hailed　the　good　omen　of　sunrise　in　a　clear　sky。
Just　as　I　was　turning　away　again　from　the　view；　I　saw　a　figure　steal　out
from　the　shrubbery　and　appear　on　the　lawn。　The　figure　came　nearer。　I
recognized　Oscar。

〃What　in　the　world　are　you　doing　there；　at　this　time　in　the　morning？〃　I
called　out。

He　lifted　his　finger　to　his　lips；　and　came　close　under　my　window　before
he　answered。

〃Hush！〃　he　said。　〃Don't　let　Lucilla　hear　you。　Come　down　to　me　as　soon　as
you　can。　I　am　waiting　to　speak　to　you。〃

When　I　joined　him　in　the　garden；　I　saw　directly　that　something　had　gone
wrong。

〃Bad　news　from　Browndown？〃　I　asked。

〃Nugent　has　disappointed　me；〃　he　answered。　〃Do　you　remember　the　evening
when　you　met　me　after　my　consultation　with　Mr。　Sebright？〃

〃Perfectly。〃

〃I　told　you　that　I　meant　to　ask　Nugent　to　leave　Dimchurch；　on　the　day
when　Lucilla　tried　her　sight　for　the　first　time。〃

〃Well？〃

〃Wellhe　refuses　to　leave　Dimchurch。〃

〃Have　you　explained　your　motives　to　him？〃

〃Carefullybefore　I　asked　him　to　go。　I　told　him　how　impossible　it　was　to
say　what　might　happen。　I　reminded　him　that　it　might　be　of　the　utmost
importance　to　me　to　preserve　the　impression　now　in　Lucilla's　mindfor　a
certain　time　onlyafter　Lucilla　could　see。　I　promised；　the　moment　she
became　reconciled　to　the　sight　of　me；　to　recall　him；　and　in　his　presence
to　tell　her　the　truth。　All　that　I　said　to　himand　how　do　you　think　he
answered　me？〃

〃Did　he　positively　refuse？〃

〃No。　He　walked　away　from　me　to　the　window；　and　considered　a　little。　Then
he　turned　round　suddenly　and　said　'What　did　you　tell　me　was　Mr。
Sebright's　opinion？　Mr。　Sebright　thought　she　would　be　relieved　instead　of
being　terrified。　In　that　case；　what　need　is　there　for　me　to　go　away？　You
can　acknowledge　at　once　that　she　has　seen　your　face；　and　not　mine？'　He
put　his　hands　in　his　pockets　when　he　had　said　that　（you　know　Nugent's
downright　way）and　turned　back　to　the　window　as　if　he　had　settled
everything。〃

〃What　did　you　say；　on　your　side？〃

〃I　said；　'Suppose　Mr。　Sebright　is　wrong？'　He　only　answered；　'Suppose　Mr。
Sebright　is　right？'　I　followed　him　to　the　windowI　never　heard　him　speak
so　sourly　to　me　as　he　spoke　at　that　moment。　'What　is　your　objection　to
going　away　for　a　day　or　two？'　I　asked。　'My　objection　is　soon　stated；'　he
answered。　'I　am　sick　of　these　everlasting　complications。　It　is　useless
and　cruel　to　carry　on　the　deception　any　longer。　Mr。　Sebright's　advice　is
the　wise　advice　and　the　right　advice。　Let　her　see　you　as　you　are。'　With
that　answer；　he　walked　out　of　the　room。　Something　has　upset　himI　can't
imagine　what　it　is。　Do　pray　see　what　you　can　make　of　him！　My　only　hope　is
in　you。〃

I　own　I　felt　reluctant　to　interfere。　Suddenly　and　strangely　as　Nugent　had
altered　his　point　of　view；　it　seemed　to　me　undeniable　that　Nugent　was
right。　At　the　same　time；　Oscar　looked　so　disappointed　and　distressed；
that　it　was　really　impossible；　on　that　day　above　all　others；　to　pain　him
additionally　by　roundly　saying　No。　I　undertook　to　do　what　I　couldand　I
inwardly　hoped　that　circumstances　would　absolve　me　from　the　necessity　of
doing　anything　at　all。

Circumstances　failed　to　justify　my　selfish　confidence　in　them。

I　was　out　in　the　village；　after　breakfast；　on　a　domestic　errand　connected
with　the　necessary　culinary　preparations　for　the　reception　of　Herr
Grossewhen　I　heard　my　name　pronounced　behind　me；　and；　turning　round；
found　myself　face　to　face　with　Nugent。

〃Has　my　brother　been　bothering　you　this　morning；〃　he　asked；　〃before　I　was
up？〃

I　instantly　noticed　a　return　in　him；　as　he　said　that；　to　the　same　dogged
ungracious　manner　which　had　perplexed　and　displeased　me　at　my　last
confidential　interview　with　him　in　the　rectory　garden。

〃Oscar　has　been　speaking　to　me　this　morning；〃　I　replied。

〃About　me？〃

〃About　you。　You　have　distressed　and　disappointed　him〃

〃I　know！　I　know！　Oscar　is　worse　than　a　child。　I　am　beginning　to　lose　all
patience　with　him。〃

〃I　am　sorry　to　hear　you　say　that；　Nugent。　You　have　borne　with　him　so
kindly　thus　farsurely　you　can　make　allowances　for　him　to…day？　His　whole
future　may　depend　on　what　happens　in　Lucilla's　sitting…room　a　few　hours
hence。〃

〃He　is　making　a　mountain　out　of　a　mole…hilland　so　are　you。〃

Those　words　were　spoken　bitterlyalmost　rudely。　I　answered　sharply　on　my
side。

〃You　are　the　last　person　living　who　has　any　right　to　say　that。　Oscar　is
in　a　false　position　towards　Lucilla；　with　your　knowledge　and　consent。　In
your　brother's　interests；　you　agreed　to　the　fraud　that　has　been　practiced
on　her。　In　your　brother's　interests；　again；　you　are　asked　to　leave
Dimchurch。　Why　do　you　refuse？〃

〃I　refuse；　because　I　have　come　round　to　your　way　of　thinking。　What　did
you　say　of　Oscar　and　of　me；　in　the　summer…house？　You　said　we　were　taking
a　cruel　advantage　of　Lucilla's　blindness。　You　were　right。　It　was　cruel
not　to　have　told　her　the　truth。　I　won't　be　a　party　to　concealing　the
truth　from　her　any　longer！　I　refuse　to　persist　in　deceiving　herin
meanly　deceiving　heron　the　day　when　she　recovers　her　sight！〃

It　is　entirely　beyond　my　power　to　describe　the　tone　in　which　he　made　that
reply。　I　can　only　declare　that　it　struck　me　dumb　for　the　moment。　I　drew　a
step　nearer　to　him。　With　vague　misgivings　in　me；　I　looked　him　searchingly
in　the　face。　He　looked　back　at　me；　without　shrinking。

〃Well？〃　he　askedwith　a　hard　smile　which　defied　me　to　put　him　in　the
wrong。

I　could　discover　nothing　in　his　faceI　could　only　follow　my　instincts　as
a　woman。　Those　instincts　warned　me　to　accept　his　explanation。

〃I　am　to　understand　then　that　you　have　decided　on　staying　here？〃　I　said。

〃Certainly！〃

〃What　do　you　propose　to　do；　when　Herr　Grosse　a