poor miss finch-第14章

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decided　to　perform　the　feat　which　you　call　in　England；　〃taking　the　bull
by　the　horns。〃

〃I　see　but　one　man　here；〃　I　said。　〃A　man　honorably　acquitted　of　a　crime
which　he　was　incapable　of　committing。　A　man　who　deserves　my　interest；　and
claims　my　sympathy。　Shake　hands；　Mr。　Dubourg。〃

I　spoke　to　him　in　a　good　hearty　voice；　and　I　gave　him　a　good　hearty
squeeze。　The　poor；　weak；　lonely；　persecuted　young　fellow　dropped　his　head
on　my　shoulder　like　a　child；　and　burst　out　crying。

〃Don't　despise　me！〃　he　said；　as　soon　as　he　had　got　his　breath　again。　〃It
breaks　a　man　down　to　have　stood　in　the　dock；　and　to　have　had　hundreds　of
hard…hearted　people　staring　at　him　in　horrorwithout　his　deserving　it。
Besides；　I　have　been　very　lonely；　ma'am；　since　my　brother　left　me。〃

We　sat　down　again；　side　by　side。　He　was　the　strangest　compound　of
anomalies　I　had　ever　met　with。　Throw　him　into　one　of　those　passions　in
which　he　flamed　out　so　easilyand　you　would　have　said；　This　is　a　tiger。
Wait　till　he　had　cooled　down　again　to　his　customary　mild　temperatureand
you　would　have　said　with　equal　truth；　This　is　a　lamb。

〃One　thing　rather　surprises　me；　Mr。　Dubourg；〃　I　went　on。　〃I　can't　quite
understand〃

〃Don't　call　me　〃Mr。　Dubourg；〃　he　interposed。　〃You　remind　me　of　the
disgrace　which　has　forced　me　to　change　my　name。　Call　me　by　my　Christian
name。　It's　a　foreign　name。　You　are　a　foreigner　by　your　accentyou　will
like　me　all　the　better　for　having　a　foreign　name。　I　was　christened
〃Oscar〃after　my　mother's　brother：　my　mother　was　a　Jersey　woman。　Call　me
〃Oscar。〃What　is　it　you　don't　understand？〃

〃In　your　present　situation；〃　I　resumed；　〃I　don't　understand　your　brother
leaving　you　here　all　by　yourself。〃

He　was　on　the　point　of　flaming　out　again　at　that。

〃Not　a　word　against　my　brother！〃　he　exclaimed　fiercely。　〃My　brother　is
the　noblest　creature　that　God　ever　created！　You　must　own　that
yourselfyou　know　what　he　did　at　the　trial。　I　should　have　died　on　the
scaffold　but　for　that　angel。　I　insist　on　it　that　he　is　not　a　man。　He　is
an　angel！〃

（I　admitted　that　his　brother　was　an　angel。　The　concession　instantly
pacified　him。）

〃People　say　there　is　no　difference　between　us；〃　he　went　on；　drawing　his
chair　companionably　close　to　mine。　〃Ah；　people　are　so　shallow！
Personally；　I　grant　you；　we　are　exactly　alike。　（You　have　heard　that　we
are　twins？）　But　there　it　ends；　unfortunately　for　_me。_　Nugent（my
brother　was　christened　Nugent　after　my　father）Nugent　is　a　hero！　Nugent
is　a　genius。　I　should　have　died　if　he　hadn't　taken　care　of　me　after　the
trial。　I　had　nobody　but　him。　We　are　orphans；　we　have　no　brothers　or
sisters。　Nugent　felt　the　disgrace　even　more　than　I　felt　itbut　_he_
could　control　himself。　It　fell　more　heavily　on　him　than　it　did　on　me。
I'll　tell　you　why。　Nugent　was　in　a　fair　way　to　make　our　family　namethe
name　that　we　have　been　obliged　to　dropfamous　all　over　the　world。　He　is
a　paintera　landscape　painter。　Have　you　never　heard　of　him？　Ah；　you　soon
will！　Where　do　you　think　he　has　gone　to？　He　has　gone　to　the　wilds　of
America；　in　search　of　new　subjects。　He　is　going　to　found　a　school　of
landscape　painting。　On　an　immense　scale。　A　scale　that　has　never　been
attempted　yet。　Dear　fellow！　Shall　I　tell　you　what　he　said　when　he　left　me
here？　Noble　wordsI　call　them　noble　words。　'Oscar！　I　go　to　make　our
assumed　name　famous。　You　shall　be　honorably　knownyou　shall　be
illustrious；　as　the　brother　of　Nugent　Dubourg。'　Do　you　think　I　could
stand　in　the　way　of　such　a　career　as　that？　After　what　he　has　sacrificed
for　_me；_　could　I　let　Such　a　Man　stagnate　herefor　no　better　purpose
than　to　keep　me　company？　What　does　it　matter　about　_my_　feeling　lonely？
Who　am　I？　Oh；　if　you　had　seen　how　he　bore　with　the　horrible　notoriety
that　followed　us；　after　the　trial！　He　was　constantly　stared　at　and
pointed　at；　for　_me。_　Not　a　word　of　complaint　escaped　him。　He　snapped　his
fingers　at　it。　'That　for　public　opinion！'　he　said。　What　strength　of
mindeh？　From　one　place　after　another　we　moved　and　moved；　and　still
there　were　the　photographs；　and　the　newspapers；　and　the　whole　infamous
story　（'romance　in　real　life；'　they　called　it）；　known　beforehand　to
everybody。　_He_　never　lost　heart。　'We　shall　find　a　place　yet'　（that　was
the　cheerful　way　he　put　it）；　'you　have　nothing　to　do　with　it；　Oscar；　you
are　safe　in　my　hands；　I　promise　you　exactly　the　place　of　refuge　you
want。'　It　was　he　who　got　all　the　information；　and　found　out　this　lonely
part　of　England　where　you　live。　_I_　thought　it　pretty　as　we　wandered
about　the　hillsit　wasn't　half　grand　enough　for　_him。_　We　lost
ourselves。　I　began　to　feel　nervous。　He　didn't　mind　it　a　bit。　〃You　have　Me
with　you；〃　he　said；　〃My　luck　is　always　to　be　depended　on。　Mark　what　I
say！　We　shall　stumble　on　a　village！〃　You　will　hardly　believe　mein　ten
minutes　more；　we　stumbled；　exactly　as　he　had　foretold；　on　this　place。　He
didn't　leave　mewhen　I　had　prevailed　on　him　to　gowithout　a
recommendation。　He　recommended　me　to　the　landlord　of　the　inn　here。　He
said；　〃My　brother　is　delicate；　my　brother　wishes　to　live　in　retirement；
you　will　oblige　me　by　looking　after　my　brother。〃　Wasn't　it　kind？　The
landlord　seemed　to　be　quite　affected　by　it。　Nugent　cried　when　he　took
leave　of　me。　Ah；　what　would　I　not　give　to　have　a　heart　like　his　and　a
mind　like　his！　It's　somethingisn't　it？to　have　a　face　like　him。　I
often　say　that　to　myself　when　I　look　in　the　glass。　Excuse　my　running　on
in　this　way。　When　I　once　begin　to　talk　of　Nugent；　I　don't　know　when　to
leave　off。〃

One　thing；　at　any　rate；　was　plainly　discernible　in　this　otherwise
inscrutable　young　man。　He　adored　his　twin…brother。

It　would　have　been　equally　clear　to　me　that　Mr。　Nugent　Dubourg　deserved
to　be　worshipped；　if　I　could　have　reconciled　to　my　mind　his　leaving　his
brother　to　shift　for　himself　in　such　a　place　as　Dimchurch。　I　was　obliged
to　remind　myself　of　the　admirable　service　which　he　had　rendered　at　the
trial；　before　I　could　decide　to　do　him　the　justice　of　suspending　my
opinion　of　him；　in　his　absence。　Having　accomplished　this　act　of
magnanimity；　I　took　advantage　of　the　first　opportunity　to　change　the
subject。　The　most　tiresome　information　that　I　am　acquainted　with；　is　the
information　which　tells　us　of　the　virtues　of　an　absent　personwhen　that
absent　person　happens　to　be　a　stranger。

〃Is　it　true　that　you　have　taken　Browndown　for　six　months？〃　I　asked。　〃Are
you　really　going　to　settle　at　Dimchurch？〃

〃Yesif　you　keep　my　secret；〃　he　answered。　〃The　people　here　know　nothing
about　me。　Don't；　pray　don't；　tell　them　who　I　am！　You　will　drive　me　away；
if　you　do。〃

〃I　must　tell　Miss　Finch　who　you　are；〃　I　said。

〃No！　no！　no！〃　he　exclaimed　eagerly。　〃I　can't　bear　the　idea　of　her　knowing
it。　I　have　been　so　horribly　degraded。　What　will　she　think　of　me？〃　He
burst　into　another　explosion　of　rhapsodies　on　the　subject　of
Lucillamixed　up　with　renewed　petitions　to　me　to　keep　his　story
concealed　from　everybody。　I　lost　all　patience　with　his　want　of　common
fortitude　and　common　sense。

〃Young　Oscar；　I　should　like　to　box　your　ears！〃　I　said。　〃You　are　in　a
villainously　unwholesome　state　about　this　matter。　Have　you　nothing　else
to　think　of？　Have　you　no　profession？　Are　you　not　obliged　to　work　for　your
living？〃

I　spoke；　as　you　perceive；　with　some　force　of　expressionaided　by　a
corresponding　asperity　of　voice　and　manner。

Mr。　Oscar　Dubourg　looked　at　me　with　the　puzzled　air　of　a　man　who　feels　an
overflow　of　new　ideas　forcing　itself　into　his　mind。　He　modestly　admitted
the　degrading　truth。　From　his　childhood　upwards；　he　had　only　to　put　his
hand　in　his　pocket；　and　to　find　the　money　there；　without　any　preliminary
necessity　of　earning　it　first。　His　father　had　been　a　fashionable
portrait…painter；　and　had　married　one　of　his　sittersan　heiress。　Oscar
and　Nugent　had　been　left　in　the　detestable　position　of　independent
gentlemen。　The　dignity　of　labor　was　a　dignity　unknown　to　these　degraded
young　men。　〃I　despise　a　wealthy　idler；〃　I　said　to　Oscar；　with　my
republican　severity。　〃You　want　the　ennobling　influence　of　labor　to　make　a
man　of　you。　Nobody　has　a　right　to　be　idlenobody　has　a　right　to　be　rich。
You　would　be　in　a　more　wholesome　state　of　mind　about　yourself；　my　young
gentleman；　if　you　had　to　earn　your　brea