poor miss finch-第10章

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their　own　dark　sphere；　of　which　we　know　nothing。　What　relief　could　come
to　Lucilla　from　the　world　outside？　None！　It　was　part　of　her　desolate
liberty　to　be　free　to　dwell　unremittingly　on　the　ideal　creature　of　her
own　dream。　Within　the　narrow　limit　of　the　one　impression　that　it　had　been
possible　for　her　to　derive　of　this　manthe　impression　of　the　beauty　of
his　voiceher　fancy　was　left　to　work　unrestrained　in　the　changeless
darkness　of　her　life。　What　a　picture！　I　shudder　as　I　draw　it。　Oh；　yes；　it
is　easy；　I　know；　to　look　at　it　the　other　wayto　laugh　at　the　folly　of　a
girl；　who　first　excites　her　imagination　about　a　total　stranger；　and　then；
when　she　hears　him　speak；　falls　in　love　with　his　voice！　But　add　that　the
girl　is　blind；　that　the　girl　lives　habitually　in　the　world　of　her　own
imagination；　that　the　girl　has　nobody　at　home　who　can　exercise　a
wholesome　influence　over　her。　Is　there　nothing　pitiable　in　such　a　state
of　things　as　this？　For　myself；　though　I　come　of　a　light…hearted　nation
that　laughs　at　everythingI　saw　my　own　face　looking　horribly　grave　and
old；　as　I　sat　before　the　glass　that　night；　brushing　my　hair。

I　looked　at　my　bed。　Bah！　what　was　the　use　of　going　to　bed？　She　was　her
own　mistress。　She　was　perfectly　free　to　take　her　next　walk　to　Browndown
alone！　and　to　place　herself；　for　all　I　knew　to　the　contrary；　at　the　mercy
of　a　dishonorable　and　designing　man。　What　was　I？　Only　her　companion。　I
had　no　right　to　interfereand　yet；　if　anything　happened；　I　should　be
blamed。　It　is　so　easy　to　say；　〃You　ought　to　have　done　something。〃　Whom
could　I　consult？　The　worthy　old　nurse　only　held　the　position　of　servant。
Could　I　address　myself　to　the　lymphatic　lady　with　the　baby　in　one　hand；
and　the　novel　in　the　other？　Absurd！　her　stepmother　was　not　to　be　thought
of。　Her　father？　Judging　by　hearsay；　I　had　not　derived　a　favorable
impression　of　the　capacity　of　Reverend　Finch　for　interfering　successfully
in　a　matter　of　this　sort。　However；　he　was　her　father；　and　I　could　feel　my
way　cautiously　with　him　at　first。　Hearing　Zillah　moving　about　the
corridor；　I　went　out　to　her。　In　the　course　of　a　little　gossip；　I
introduced　the　name　of　the　master　of　the　house。　How　was　it　I　had　not　seen
him　yet？　For　an　excellent　reason。　He　had　gone　to　visit　a　friend　at
Brighton。　It　was　then　Tuesday。　He　was　expected　back　on　〃sermon…day〃that
is　to　say　on　Saturday　in　the　same　week。

I　returned　to　my　room；　a　little　out　of　temper。　In　this　state　my　mind
works　with　wonderful　freedom。　I　had　another　of　my　inspirations。　Mr。
Dubourg　had　taken　the　liberty　of　speaking　to　me　that　evening。　Good。　I
determined　to　go　alone　to　Browndown　the　next　morning；　and　take　the
liberty　of　speaking　to　Mr。　Dubourg。

Was　this　resolution　solely　inspired　by　my　interest　in　Lucilla？　Or　had　my
own　curiosity　been　all　the　time　working　under　the　surface；　and
influencing　the　course　of　my　reflections　unknown　to　myself？　I　went　to　bed
without　inquiring。　I　recommend　you　to　go　to　bed　without　inquiring　too。

CHAPTER　THE　SEVENTH

Daylight　View　of　the　Man

WHEN　I　put　out　my　candle　that　night；　I　made　a　mistakeI　trusted　entirely
to　myself　to　wake　in　good　time　in　the　morning。　I　ought　to　have　told
Zillah　to　call　me。

Hours　passed　before　I　could　close　my　eyes。　It　was　broken　rest　when　it
came；　until　the　day　dawned。　Then　I　fell　asleep　at　last　in　good　earnest。
When　I　woke；　and　looked　at　my　watch；　I　was　amazed　to　find　that　it　was　ten
o'clock。

I　jumped　out　of　bed；　and　rang　for　the　old　nurse。　Was　Lucilla　at　home？　No：
she　had　gone　out　for　a　little　walk。　By　herself？　Yesby　herself。　In　what
direction？　Up　the　valley；　towards　Browndown。

I　instantly　arrived　at　my　own　conclusion。

She　had　got　the　start　of　methanks　to　my　laziness　in　sleeping　away　the
precious　hours　of　the　morning　in　bed。　The　one　thing　to　do；　was　to　follow
her　as　speedily　as　possible。　In　half　an　hour　more；　_I_　was　out　for　a
little　walk　by　myselfand　（what　do　you　think？）　_my_　direction　also　was
up　the　valley；　towards　Browndown。

A　pastoral　solitude　reigned　round　the　lonely　little　house。　I　went　on
beyond　it；　into　the　next　winding　of　the　valley。　Not　a　human　creature　was
to　be　seen。　I　returned　to　Browndown　to　reconnoiter。　Ascending　the　rising
ground　on　which　the　house　was　built；　I　approached　it　from　the　back。　The
windows　were　all　open。　I　listened。　（Do　you　suppose　I　felt　scruples　in
such　an　emergency　as　this？　Oh；　pooh！　pooh！　who　but　a　fool　would　have　felt
anything　of　the　sort！）　I　listened　with　both　my　ears。　Through　a　window　at
the　side　of　the　house；　I　heard　the　sound　of　voices。　Advancing　noiselessly
on　the　turf；　I　heard　the　voice　of　Dubourg。　He　was　answered　by　a　woman。
Aha；　I　had　caught　her。　Lucilla　herself！

〃Wonderful！〃　I　heard　him　say。　〃I　believe　you　have　eyes　in　the　ends　of
your　fingers。　Take　this；　nowand　try　if　you　can　tell　me　what　it　is。〃

〃A　little　vase；〃　she　answeredspeaking；　I　give　you　my　word　of　honor；　as
composedly　as　if　she　had　known　him　for　years。　〃Wait！　what　metal　is　it？
Silver？　No。　Gold。　Did　you　really　make　this　yourself　as　well　as　the　box？〃

〃Yes。　It　is　an　odd　taste　of　mineisn't　it？to　be　fond　of　chasing　in
gold　and　silver。　Years　ago　I　met　with　a　man　in　Italy；　who　taught　me。　It
amused　me；　thenand　it　amuses　me　now。　When　I　was　recovering　from　an
illness　last　spring；　I　shaped　that　vase　out　of　the　plain　metal；　and　made
the　ornaments　on　it。〃

〃Another　mystery　revealed！〃　she　exclaimed。　〃Now　I　know　what　you　wanted
with　those　gold　and　silver　plates　that　came　to　you　from　London。　Are　you
aware　of　what　a　character　you　have　got　here？　There　are　some　of　us　who
suspect　you　of　coining　false　money！〃

They　both　burst　out　laughing　as　gaily　as　a　couple　of　children。　I　declare
I　wished　myself　one　of　the　party！　But　no。　I　had　my　duty　to　do　as　a
respectable　woman。　My　duty　was　to　steal　a　little　nearer；　and　see　if　any
familiarities　were　passing　between　these　two　merry　young　people。　One　half
of　the　open　window　was　sheltered；　on　the　outer　side；　by　a　Venetian　blind。
I　stood　behind　the　blind；　and　peeped　in。　（Duty！　oh；　dear　me；　painful；　but
necessary　duty！）　Dubourg　was　sitting　with　his　back　to　the　window。　Lucilla
faced　me　opposite　to　him。　Her　cheeks　were　flushed　with　pleasure。　She　held
in　her　lap　a　pretty　little　golden　vase。　Her　clever　fingers　were　passing
over　it　rapidly；　exactly　as　they　had　passed；　the　previous　evening；　over
my　face。

〃Shall　I　tell　you　what　the　pattern　is　on　your　vase？〃　she　went　on。

〃Can　you　really　do　that？〃

〃You　shall　judge　for　yourself。　The　pattern　is　made　of　leaves；　with　birds
placed　among　them；　at　intervals。　Stop！　I　think　I　have　felt　leaves　like
these　on　the　old　side　of　the　rectory；　against　the　wall。　Ivy？〃

〃Amazing！　it　_is_　ivy。〃

〃The　birds；〃　she　resumed。　〃I　shan't　be　satisfied　till　I　have　told　you
what　the　birds　are。　Haven't　I　got　silver　birds　like　themonly　much
largerfor　holding　pepper；　and　mustard；　and　sugar；　and　so　on。　Owls！〃　she
exclaimed；　with　a　cry　of　triumph。　〃Little　owls；　sitting　in　ivy…nests。
What　a　delightful　pattern！　I　never　heard　of　anything　like　it　before。〃

〃Keep　the　vase！〃　he　said。　〃You　will　honor　me；　you　will　delight　me；　if　you
will　keep　the　vase。〃

She　rose　and　shook　her　headwithout　giving　him　back　the　vase；　however。

〃I　might　take　it；　if　you　were　not　a　stranger；〃　she　said。　〃Why　don't　you
tell　us　who　you　are；　and　what　your　reason　is　for　living　all　by　yourself
in　this　dull　place？〃

He　stood　before　her；　with　his　head　down；　and　sighed　bitterly。

〃I　know　I　ought　to　explain　myself；〃　he　answered。　〃I　can't　be　surprised　if
people　are　suspicious　of　me。〃　He　paused；　and　added　very　earnestly；　〃I
can't　tell　it　to　_you。_　Oh；　nonot　to　_you！_〃

〃Why　not？〃

〃Don't　ask　me！〃

She　felt　for　the　table；　with　her　ivory　cane；　and　put　the　vase　down　on
itvery　unwillingly。

〃Good　morning；　Mr。　Dubourg；〃　she　said。

He　opened　the　door　of　the　room　for　her　in　silence。　Waiting　close　against
the　side　of　the　house；　I　saw　them　appear　under　the　porch；　and　cross　the
little　walled　enclosure　in　front。　As　she　stepped　out　on　the　open　turf
beyond；　she　turned；　and　spoke　to　him　again。

〃If　you　won't　tell　_me_　your　secret；〃　she　said；　〃will　you　tell　it　to　some
one　else？　Will　you　tell　it　to　a　friend　of　mine？〃

〃To　what　friend？〃　he　asked。

〃To　the　lady　who