a new england girlhood-第39章

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rned　money　enough　to　leave　her　work　and　attend　a　day…school　part　of　the　year。

She　was　an　ambitious　scholar；　and　she　persuaded　me　into　studying　the　German　language　with　her。　A　native　professor　had　formed　a　class　among　young　women　connected　with　the　mills；　and　we　joined　it。　We　met；　six　or　eight　of　us；　at　the　home　of　two　of　these　young　women；a　factory　boarding…house；in　a　neat　little　parlor　which　contained　a　piano。　The　professor　was　a　music…teacher　also；　and　he　sometimes　brought　his　guitar；　and　let　us　finish　our　recitation　with　a　concert。　More　frequently　he　gave　us　the　songs　of　Deutschland　that　we　begged　for。　He　sang　the　〃Erl…King〃　in　his　own　tongue　admirably。　We　went　through　Follen's　German　Grammar　and　Reader：what　a　choice　collection　of　extracts　that　〃Reader〃　was！　We　conquered　the　difficult　gutturals；　like　those　in　the　numeral　〃acht　und　achtzig〃　（the　test　of　our　pronouncing　abilities）　so　completely　that　the　professor　told　us　a　native　really　would　understand　us！　At　his　request；　I　put　some　little　German　songs　into　English；　which　he　published　as　sheet…music；　with　my　name。　To　hear　my　words　sung　quite　gave　me　the　feeling　of　a　successful　translator。　The　professor　had　his　own　distinctive　name　for　each　of　his　pupils。　Eliza　was　〃Naivete；〃　from　her　artless　manners　；　and　me　he　called　〃　Etheria；〃　probably　on　account　of　my　star…　gazing　and　verse…writing　habits。　Certainly　there　was　never　anything　ethereal　in　my　visible　presence。

A　botany　class　was　formed　in　town　by　a　literary　lady　who　was　preparing　a　school　text…book　on　the　subject；　and　Eliza　and　I　joined　that　also。　The　most　I　recall　about　that　is　the　delightful　flower…hunting　rambles　we　took　together。　The　Linnaean　system；　then　in　use；　did　not　give　us　a　very　satisfactory　key　to　the　science。　But　we　made　the　acquaintance　of　hitherto　unfamiliar　wild　flowers　that　grew　around　us；　and　that　was　the　opening　to　us　of　another　door　towards　the　Beautiful。

Our　minister　offered　to　instruct　the　young　people　of　his　parish　in　ethics；　and　my　sister　Emilie　and　myself　were　among　his　pupils。　We　came　to　regard　Wayland's　〃Moral　Science〃　（our　text…book）　as　most　interesting　reading；　and　it　furnished　us　with　many　subjects　for　thought　and　for　social　discussion。

Carlyle's　〃Hero…Worship〃　brought　us　a　startling　and　keen　enjoyment。　It　was　lent　me　by　a　Dartmouth　College　student；　the　brother　of　one　of　my　room…mates；　soon　after　it　was　first　published　in　this　country。　The　young　man　did　not　seem　to　know　exactly　what　to　think　of　it；　and　wanted　another　reader's　opinion。　Few　persons　could　have　welcomed　those　early　writings　of　Carlyle　more　enthusiastically　than　some　of　us　working…girls　did。　The　very　ruggedness　of　the　sentences　had　a　fascination　for　us；　like　that　of　climbing　over　loose　bowlders　in　a　mountain　scramble　to　get　sight　of　a　wonderful　landscape。

My　room…mate；　the　student's　sister；　was　the　possessor　of　an　electrifying　new　poem；〃Festus；〃that　we　sat　up　nights　to　read。　It　does　not　seem　as　if　it　could　be　more　than　forty　years　since　Sarah　and　I　looked　up　into　each　other's　face　from　the　page　as　the　lamplight　grew　dim；　and　said；　quoting　from　the　poem；

〃Who　can　mistake　great　thoughts？〃

She　gave　me　the　volume　afterwards；　when　we　went　West　together；　and　I　have　it　still。　Its　questions　and　conjectures　were　like　a　glimpse　into　the　chaos　of　our　own　dimly　developing　inner　life。　The　fascination　of　〃Festus〃　was　that　of　wonder；　doubt；　and　dissent；　with　great　outbursts　of　an　overmastering　faith　sweeping　over　our　minds　as　we　read。　Some　of　our　friends　thought　it　not　quite　safe　reading；　but　we　remember　it　as　one　of　the　inspirations　of　our　workaday　youth。

We　read　books；　also；　that　bore　directly　upon　the　condition　of　humanity　in　our　time。　〃The　Glory　and　Shame　of　England〃　was　one　of　them；　and　it　stirred　us　with　a　wonderful　and　painful　interest。

We　followed　travelers　and　explorers；Layard　to　Nineveh；　and　Stephens　to　Yucatan。　And　we　were　as　fond　of　good　story…books　as　any　girls　that　live　in　these　days　of　overflowing　libraries。　One　book；　a　character…picture　from　history；　had　a　wide　popularity　in　those　days。　It　is　a　pity　that　it　should　be　unfamiliar　to　modern　girlhood；Ware's　〃Zenobia。〃　The　Queen　of　Palmyra　walked　among　us；　and　held　a　lofty　place　among　our　ideals　of　heroic　womanhood；　never　yet　obliterated　from　admiring　remembrance。

We　had　the　delight　of　reading　Frederika　Bremer's　〃Home〃　and　〃Neighbors〃　when　they　were　　fresh　from　the　fountains　of　her　own　heart；　and　some　of　us　must　not　be　blamed　for　feeling　as　if　no　tales　of　domestic　life　half　so　charming　have　been　written　since。　Perhaps　it　is　partly　because　the　home…life　of　Sweden　is　in　itself　so　delightfully　unique。

We　read　George　Borrow's　〃Bible　in　Spain；〃　and　wandered　with　him　among　the　gypsies　to　whom　he　seemed　to　belong。　I　have　never　forgotten　a　verse　that　this　strange　traveler　picked　up　somewhere　among　the　Zincali：

〃I'll　joyfully　labor；　both　night　and　day；　To　aid　my　unfortunate　brothers；　As　a　laundress　tans　her　own　face　in　the　ray　To　cleanse　the　garments　of　others。〃

It　suggested　a　somewhat　similar　verse　to　my　own　mind。　Why　should　not　our　washerwoman's　work　have　its　touch　of　poetry　also？

This　thought　flashed　by　like　a　ray　of　light　That　brightened　my　homely　labor：　The　water　is　making　my　own　hands　white　While　I　wash　the　robes　of　my　neighbor。

And　how　delighted　we　were　with　Mrs。　Kirkland's　〃A　New　Home：　Who'll　Follow？〃　the　first　real　Western　book　I　ever　read。　Its　genuine　pioneer…flavor　was　delicious。　And；　moreover；　it　was　a　prophecy　to　Sarah；　Emilie；　and　myself；　who　were　one　day　thankful　enough　to　find　an　〃Aunty　Parshall's　dish…kettle〃　in　a　cabin　on　an　Illinois　prairie。

So　the　pleasantly　occupied　years　slipped　on；　I　still　nursing　my　purpose　of　a　more　systematic　course　of　study；　though　I　saw　no　near　possibility　of　its　fulfillment。　It　came　in　an　unexpected　way；　as　almost　everything　worth　having　does　come。　I　could　never　have　dreamed　that　I　was　going　to　meet　my　opportunity　nearly　or　quite　a　thousand　miles　away；　on　the　banks　of　the　Mississippi。　And　yet；　with　that　strange；　delightful　consciousness　of　growth　into　a　comprehension　of　one's　self　and　of　one's　life　that　most　young　persons　must　occasionally　have　experienced；　I　often　vaguely　felt　heavens　opening　for　my　half…fledged　wings　to　try　themselves　in。　Things　about　me　were　good　and　enjoyable；　but　I　could　not　quite　rest　in　them；　there　was　more　for　me　to　be；　to　know；　and　to　do。　I　felt　almost　surer　of　the　future　than　of　the　present。

If　the　dream　of　the　millennium　which　brightened　the　somewhat　sombre　close　of　the　first　ten　years　of　my　life　had　faded　a　little；　out　of　the　very　roughnesses　of　the　intervening　road　light　had　been　kindled　which　made　the　end　of　the　second　ten　years　glow　with　enthusiastic　hope。　I　had　early　been　saved　from　a　great　mistake；　for　it　is　the　greatest　of　mistakes　to　begin　life　with　the　expectation　that　it　is　going　to　be　easy；　or　with　the　wish　to　have　it　so。　What　a　world　it　would　be；　if　there　were　no　hills　to　climb！　Our　powers　were　given　us　that　we　might　conquer　obstacles；　and　clear　obstructions　from　the　overgrown　human　path；　and　grow　strong　by　striving；　led　onward　always　by　an　Invisible　Guide。

Life　to　me；　as　I　looked　forward；　was　a　bright　blank　of　mystery；　like　the　broad　Western　tracts　of　our　continent；　which　in　the　atlases　of　those　days　bore　the　title　of　〃Unexplored　Regions。〃　It　was　to　be　penetrated；　struggled　through；　and　its　difficulties　were　not　greatly　dreaded；　for　I　had　not　lost

〃The　dream　of　Doing；　The　first　bound　in　the　pursuing。〃

I　knew　that　there　was　no　joy　like　the　joy　of　pressing　forward。

XII。

FROM　THE　MERRIMACK　TO　THE　MISSISSIPPI。

THE　years　between　1835　and　1845；　which　nearly　cover　the　time　I　lived　at　Lowell；　seem　to　me；　as　I　look　back　at　them；　singularly　interesting　years。　People　were　guessing　and　experimenting　and　wondering　and　prophesying　about　a　great　many　things；about　almost　everything。　We　were　only　beginning　to　get　accustomed　to　steamboats　and　railroads。　To　travel　by　either　was　scarcely　less　an　adventure　to　us　younger　ones　than　going　up　in　a　balloon。

Phrenology　was　much　talked　about；　and　numerous　〃professors〃　of　it　came　around　lecturing；　and　examining　heads；　and　making　charts　of　cranial　〃bumps。〃　This　was　profitable　business　to　them　for　a　while；　as　almost　everybody　wh